2003 December


Nothing beats the direct
experience of anything, anyhow.


Just guessing here, but it sounds as if you may be letting go of more
and more of the external to set about working out your own Laws of
Reality: to find that which is most important to you as opposed to
what others have told you is important. That can be a very bleak
process, as the old ideals are stripped away, but I believe it
results in the Self.


Actually I was always going “back to Self,” but I
believe we tend to experience that which we most value. At that time,
the “rococo” sort of experience was what I most cherished, and had
the most meaning for me. At a later point, life became much simpler,
as I came to value that simplicity or perfection, stopped
subconsciously looking beyond, and completely fell into Self (part
four and subsequently in the autobio). And then again still later
other “odd” things happened as I needed them, e.g. re-incarnating as
a shaft of light from the combined attentions of a number of
celestial sages (which experience incidentally I found later was also
related by Ramana), and eventually levitating and dematerializing
(part six ff.). I know some of this stuff sounds flashy, but it is
the most natural thing in the world at the time. I believe it all
made a logical progression, was all useful, and so I recounted it
all. It is after all, all the Self. And it is good to enjoy the parts
as well as the whole, or why did the whole manifest? Assuming of
course it did…


I use “LLL” for “Love, Light and Laughter,” my version of Sat, Chit,
and Ananda, or Spirit, Soul, and Body.

Since this is in the Chakras thread, I’ll add that these three easily
permutate into nine, to correlate with nine chakras and nine realms
of life, thus:

Love’s Love (Subtle Spirit) = Crown, the Adi gate
Love’s Light (Middle Spirit) = Brow, or Third Eye, the Monadic gate
Love’s Laughter (Dense Spirit) = Throat, the Atmic gate
Light’s Love (Subtle Soul) = Heart, the Buddhic gate
Light’s Light (Middle Soul) = Solar Plexus, the Causal gate
Light’s Laughter (Dense Soul) = Navel, the Mental Gate
Laughter’s Love (Subtle Body) = Sex, the Astral Gate
Laughter’s Light (Middle Body) = Base, the Physical Gate
Laughter’s Laughter (Dense Body) = Feet, the Elemental Gate.

(These three and nine also easily permeate to 27 for the nakshatras
in the Lunar Calendar of Initiation. If your taste runs to such
things, there’s a lot more on the chakras, subtle realms, initiatic
calendars, etc. at www.artesmagicae.com under Archives.)

(Like all systems, this is at best a perspective rendering of a
truth: a map and not the thing itself.)

“Of course, the LLL could as easily stand for Life, Law and Levity, or
any other L-triad that is meaningful to you. It’s not copyrighted. :-)




…That is what I suspected MMY
would have told me at the time, had he been actually present to ask.
On the other hand, I believe the experience was essentially valid, in
that it reminded me viscerally of the Master within.

Along those same lines, when I was doing a lot of counseling/healing
work, people would frequently report that I appeared to them in
meditation, dreams, and occasionally in waking-state when they were
in trouble. I had no recollection of any of this from my end, and
told them so. And yet I think their experiences were generally valid
too — even if they chose to use me (temporarily) as a symbol of
their own Inner Master. I was always a bit uncomfortable with this,
as I much preferred they went directly to their own source! Of
course, the inner realms are full of illusions and delusions — but
if we don’t trust those interior experiences which our intuition
deeply tells us are true, we are reduced to complete disempowerment
and bondage to the external, as in the Medieval Catholic Church,
where all “salvation” was only through the Pope and his hierarchy.

(And at least in part as a result of that experience of the Inner
Master, if push came to shove, I would now of course choose my
interior truth over anything MMY or President Bush or any
other “external” authority told me, if what they said rang false to
me, as all too often it does. It appears I am in good company here!)


Thanks, Rick! I’m glad you liked the material, though sorry it makes
you “feel like a slug by comparison.” I sometimes wonder if the
original impulse to publish the experiences was a good idea, as I
believe now these experiences have very little bearing on anything —
they certainly aren’t necessary for performing one’s dharma or being
a good person — but then I always remember how much I enjoyed
reading others’ “enlightenment experiences,” and decide to let it


I am not sure if this is entirely relevant here, but some of my own
experiences with kundalini and the chakras while on TTC-I at
Livingston Manor are in my autobiography, at



Thank you, Rick, for creating this site, and inviting me to join! And thank you, Vashti, for sowing the seed when you first told me of Rick’s site some months back! I am so pleased and honored to be here in “Virtual Fairfield.” And say what we like about MMY (and  I have said plenty in the past), I would probably never have met any of you who have meant and continue to mean so much to me, were it not for him. For the untold wealth of such satsangs, my deepest thanks. Love, Life and Laughter to us all! — Rory


 Thanks, Rick.

Yes, as to my “Work” — It is more a poem or a work of art (a Self-
portrait) than as any truly meaningful description of Reality, which
is certainly beyond (my) ability to describe (thank God). There is
some neat stuff there, but perhaps at best it could be called a
perspective rendering of certain aspects of life. Like a lot of my
old poetry or artwork, I sometimes wince a bit when I look back at
it, sometimes am impressed by it, occasionally revise it, but for the
most part just let it stand in hopes someone else might enjoy it too.
I would be greatly hurt if anyone tried to turn it into scripture and
started beating other people over the head with it. :-)



…I’m not sure if any of this really deserves a response, as some of
you folks don’t even seem to be trying to understand what I am
saying, but I probably haven’t been clear enough; I’ll try again.

Firstly, I believe there is a relationship between (and among)
EVERYTHING, and to the degree that we react strongly against
something, is the degree that that issue needs to be looked at in
ourselves. Not believed in wholeheartedly, not denied wholeheartedly,
just looked at. Processed.

Secondly, I am NOT saying that I was a Nazi, or you are/were Nazis. I
am saying that we all have the seeds of Nazism within us, and until
we look at, take responsibility for, and heal those seeds, Nazism or
Fascism will continue to run us. Sometimes “past-life” beliefs make
it easier to take responsibility for issues which appear to be
outside ourselves (but of course are not); whether they are true or
not, they serve a useful purpose in helping to heal us.

Thirdly, I would say your definition of a “psycho” or religious
fanatic — the certainty that he can see or tell things that others
can’t — is indicative of mystics in general, and probably far more
representative of the TMO than it is of me, as I actually live a
pretty ordinary life. While I was the only one I knew at that time
who was seeing these things, a great many others had and have (it
turns out) noted the same things about the TMO that I did. That
doesn’t make any of it true, of course, and I am not asking you to
take it as true. I honestly don’t care if you do or not. I am just
saying I am not really a lone wolf here, or at least not as much of
one as I thought I was. :-)

Finally, as I said before, this stuff happened a long long time ago,
and I wrote about it a long time ago. I am not here to stir it all up
again — what’s done is done, I am happy with every stage of my past,
and grateful to MMY and the TMO for the part it and he played in my
life. I received everything they promised. I did feel a need to
describe what I went through; I ask you not to take one or two
experiences out of context (difficult to do, I realize, as it has
been posted here out of context) but perhaps to read the whole thing
before rushing to judgement. And then if you want to call me psycho,
be my guest. I am in good company. :-)


…when we get to where we always “were,”  the first impulse
may be to kick ourselves for taking so long to remember, 
and to kick the technique which seems in retrospect to have
only perpetuated the illusion. And then the second impulse
comes to value the technique too as it wasindeed part of the process.
I agree from where I stand now that to bash MMY seems pointless.
However, I suppose I must honor my entire path
 — and at one point along that path, that criticism also seemed
necessary. So I guess I have to say (with a goofy grin) it’s all good.


…It seems certainly true that development can be (perhaps
always is?) uneven; certain chakras/selves open (apparently) out of
sequence. I have also been given the image of Krishna playing his
flute, however — the chakras/selves are the holes in his flute, and
he enjoys playing many tunes, not just scales. What appears to be
dissonance or irregularity from our limited point of view is the
sublimest of music from the larger, just as all pain is resolvable
into its component bliss-particles by closer attention.

As for the “system” on my pages –I would be distressed if anyone
took it as the One Only High and Mighty Truth. (I don’t think that’s
too likely among this bunch, but I feel it needs to be said!) It’s a
work of art, a portrait, of some aspects of reality only: by
necessity a Self-portrait. At some points in my life, I’ve found it
inspiring to “ask and answer” along those lines. I published the
material for the same reason I tried to write as honest an
autobiography as possible, in hopes that others might sometime enjoy
it (and perhaps derive some meaning from it) as I would have enjoyed
reading it myself at certain times. If any part of it resonates with
you, that’s great. If not, that’s also great! Truth is too big for
any of us, thank God!

So as for the Higher Self – Lower Self model — I believe this does
open the possibility that there are an infinite number of Selves, in
essence “stacked up” one above the other. Since this both echoes
(some of) my personal experience and seems analogous to the very
chakra system itself (not to mention musical scales, the EM spectra
etc.), I am pretty comfortable with that. It also seems true that all
of these are nothing other than “distortions” of the Absolute, as
sounds are a distortion of the primal hum and colors are a distortion
of white light. We can if we wish go around saying “it is all MMMM or
all white light” and be quite correct. That would be expressing the
transcendent or “upward” movement, from matter to spirit (again, I am
speaking in “perspective” here as matter and spirit are actually
One). We can also enjoy playing (creating) with the sounds and colors
and learn more about ourselves and how spirit manifests in the
process. That’s the angle I have tended to favor, at least for the
last twenty years or so. As long as I am here, I am focussed through
an Ego, so I might as well enjoy it!


…While not overly fond of scorn and judgemental criticism myself
(albeit I still carry some seeds of it, just not as regards the TMO),
I think I understand where it is coming from. When someone sets
himself up as perfectly infallible, he might expect an eventual
outcry when it is (inevitably) discovered that he has feet of clay.
The anger comes (I think) when we realize we have given all our power
away and lived in numbness and denial, as if our foot were asleep —
and as the foot starts to wake, and the energy floods back into the
sleeping limb, it can really hurt for a little while. The scorn and
criticism is actually a side-effect of taking back one’s own energy
and power. (I no longer feel any anger for the TMO because I no
longer attach any power to it whatsoever; it is esssentially
meaningless to me. I am currently working on our political arena as
an area in which I still ignorantly project a bit of my power, and
which consequently still angers me sometimes.)

Perhaps the problem here (if there is a problem) is in the different
teaching styles of East and West; where the East is used to such
rhetoric of “divine infallibility” and understands it, we in the West
do not. I think in a way that (figuratively speaking anyhow) many of
us joined the TMO to prolong our childhood, and FFL represents a next
stage for some — an adolescence and early adulthood, perhaps, when
one is beginning to take responsibility for one’s own growth,
question one’s “infallible” elders, feel angry and rebellious, begin
living one’s own life, and so forth. When the parent refuses to allow
those freedoms to the adolescent, in effect never letting any of the
children grow up, rebellion is a natural result. I am not sure this
is a perfect analogy, as it seems to imply that everyone must “grow
up” and eventually leave the TMO. This may well not be the case, even
though it was necessary for me and perhaps for others here. I do
respect you and your choices, and I believe that they are perfect for

…If you’re saying that nothing is to be done because everything is in
truth Absolute, you’re misapplying the values of the Absolute to the
Relative field. So long as we are here, something must always be
done, whether on the inner planes, the outer ones, or both. What,
where, and how we choose to make a stand against the perceived evil
has immense bearing on our continued growth. While true that in
essence there is Absolutely no actor, no action, no object, etc.,
this should not be used as an excuse for Relative inactivity. What
would Krishna say? Pick up your bow and FIGHT! There are many ways of
fighting, of course, and I find the most effective ones are usually
on the inner planes. Usually, but not always. We must do what we must

…We don’t know that, as chat groups did not exist then; they may well
be the (or a) solution to piercing such monolithically diseased views
of reality currently and in the future. It almost sounds as if you
are saying we shouldn’t discuss such cultic problems because talking
about them won’t help anyway! From the Absolute comes thought, from
thought comes speech, from speech comes action. I think perhaps
rather you are afraid they WILL result in action, as you say later in
the post. If people are thinking twice about starting TM because of
such chats — if the TMO is worried about such feedback — perhaps
the TMO could take steps to heal itself and its megalomania. I don’t
think this is possible however, because it too accurately reflects
the same flaw in MMY. I don’t say this in anger; megalomania is
merely a disease like any other. It is only when one denies there is
a problem that one cannot take steps to heal it.

…There is a reason why America exists, and there is a reason why we are
Americans. I am not being chauvinistic here, merely saying that
America and its ideals are AS divine and worth preserving as India’s.
For me, they are actually better, as I choose to live here. For an
Indian, India’s are better. I don’t feel India should allow itself to
be mucked up with indiscriminate application of western values;
neither should we allow ourselves to be mucked up with indiscriminate
application of eastern ones. (Transcendence is not an eastern value,
and India doesn’t hold the copyright on it.) Study, them, learn from
them, yes — but adopt their clothing, their local-climate
architecture, their attitudes towards democracy, women, etc.?

…Perhaps they [democratic values] should be examined, but not indiscriminately abandoned.
They represent a beautiful (and hard-won) aspect of divine evolution,
in my opinion.

…For me, anyway, such protest was inherent in my maturation process
(not saying of course that I am fully mature — just more mature now
than I was. :-)). One should not adopt a Unity attitude if it means
bowing to what one perceives to be wrong.

…Yes, actually we do [have rights]. When we accept responsibility for our mastery,
all these things actually obey us, if we choose to exert ourselves in
that way. Or so I found, anyhow.

…Again, the mighty force of Nature does indeed listen to us, and takes
our desires into account — but only after we take responsibility.

…That may well be true, but neither do they have a right to demand or
expect that we not question and criticise them [the TMO]. At least not in
America. (Thank God.)

…If you wish to adopt that attitude of powerlessness, that is fine —
it can indeed be very useful for devotion. Of course, such a love of
your Lord may well eventually result in fusion with Him. Be prepared!
Choose well your objects of devotion, for you will become very like
them. :-)

…I am not sure why one would wish to measure oneself against the
Absolute, as opposed to simply being it, but perhaps that is the path
of the devotee. I am not familiar with these lawsuits, but I would
categorically deny that keeping MMY out of the US in any way hinders
our evolution or enlightenment. Unless we choose to believe it so.

…It [protest] is a valid stage of growth, or can be.
I do agree that one can get addicted to anger, and
locked into a cycle of anger, powerlessness, and blame, and this is
not desirable. I heartily recommend that we take responsibility for
everything we have done, every choice we have made, forgive ourselves
(and everyone else) our “errors” and move on. If we truly allow
ourselves to feel the pain, we can heal the anger relatively quickly.
There are apparently (at least) three stages of healing: Denial
(Tamasic), Anger (Rajasic), and Clarity (Sattvic). It is I think
impossible to jump from Denial to Clarity, but if Anger is dwelt in
addictively is still an acting-out, a form of denial. I often
recommended breathing/attention exercises (essentially Rebirthing) to
quickly heal intransigent pockets of deep dis-ease. These can be
extremely helpful in rapidly (and apparently permanently) healing
longterm problems of prosperity, energy, love, self-esteem, etc. I am
not offering these personally now, but the techniques are out there
and available if one is open.


…Speaking for myself alone, enforced celibacy wasn’t necessary. There
were times when desire naturally subsided, or sublimated itself, but
in general I found lovemaking (either by myself or especially with a
partner) to be one of the best modalities of growth, though I often
opted for inner orgasm only. I don’t think there is only one way to
go — or rather, each person will probably gravitate to those
practices most efective for him or herself. What do you think?


…Yes, I’m familiar with physical immortality and ascension, found the
process very meaningful and real at some points (sixth part of
autobio and beyond), may have the desire to explore and experience
them again or further, someday. For whatever reason, they are not
particularly of interest or an issue to me at the moment. I would be
interested in hearing your experiences, however, if you’d like to
share them!


…If I were to say I am “beyond having spiritual experiences” that would
imply I had attained something great, I think, and I don’t feel that way at all.
I feel supremely ordinary, and I really dig that. It’s a great
relief, actually. Rather, as if everything I had “attained” was just
a dream. I just don’t value “initiations” or experiences on the
subtle or Transcendent planes anymore — still there, I guess, if I
wanted them (though I don’t generally want them) but they are more
like poetry, or spontaneous singing — profound at the time, and I
don’t want to give them more reification than that, don’t want to
record them, as it would wrench them out of context. That’s not
exactly correct either though. That still implies they are something
different or special, and they’re not. Some of it I think comes from
the gradually-dawning understanding that the celestial-plane
inhabitants and Masters etc. are “just” people too; they have their
own problems; there is nothing inherently more desirable about one
plane than another (for me, right now, anyway).

This puts me in a bind (as I see it now anyway) because the way I set
up the autobiography is so intimately bound up with that initiatory
structure that used to have so much meaning and excitement and
organizing power and is now actually slightly distasteful. So as to
whether there are other spiritual states I have yet to attain, I
would guess there must be, as I am still here, and matter and spirit
are one, and every day I learn something, get polished a little more.
(Or a lot more, sometimes, in here. :-)) But I haven’t experienced a
quantum leap in some time, and have no desire to experience one. I
can’t imagine where I would want to leap TO. I would almost say I am
stagnating, except I feel good, really good, really blessed. But
ordinary. Not the kind of ordinariness I associated with (what I took
to be) CC or (what I took to be its higher harmonic) Brahman, which
were both (at first anyway) a bit stark, and very distinct states of
consciousness. Nope. This one IS ignorance, and ignorance IS bliss!
(Well, that’s putting it too dramatically, but I couldn’t resist.) I
love this non-state so much that I really cannot imagine going
anywhere else.

As to performing one’s dharma, and being a good person — It seems
pretty clear that these have virtually nothing to do with conscious
apprehension of the initiatory states I outlined. For one thing, a
lot of people don’t experience them at all, and are obviously very
beautiful souls, supremely loving and beloved. And for another, there
are all those people seemingly very advanced along these “initiatic”
lines, who are still very seriously flawed. While I have of course
seen many glorious humans on the path, I have seen no real evidence
as yet that Enlightenment (on whatever level we take that to be)
actually leads to perfect action, etc. A more perfect ability to
rationalize for awhile, maybe, but … :-) Again, I am thinking of
the various Masters, deities etc., many of whom enjoy great
quantities of light and love and yet are no more “perfect” than
the “lowliest” human. Maybe I am misapprehending right action,
though. Probably am. I think in looking at it closer that everyone is
probably doing supremely right action, even when they think they are
not, that the womb of God is so perfect that wrong action is
impossible. Yes, I think that may be it. We actually don’t have free
will at all; the joke is that we think we do. Maybe. But this is
starting to sound too la-di-da again. I think that’s the best I can
do with it for now, though. Many thanks for asking the questions and
making me look for the answers. You always were really really good at
that. :-)


…Ah, I see, RudraJoe. What a beautiful post. Many thanks! I love your
love-field (if that makes any sense). I probably wouldn’t mind “being
judged” if I had written that stuff yesterday, but it’s been about
seven years now since I wrote it (and 22 since I experienced it!),
and I just don’t care about it anymore. It seems like such a waste of
energy to argue about it! I have considered taking it off the web a
number of times, but each time have left it up on the offchance it
might help someone who is where I was. I am almost sorry Rick posted
the link here, but for the fact I have had a chance to meet all of
you — which I am most happy to have done!

For what it’s worth, I too am basically a liberal — perhaps more of
a Green than a Democrat, but when push comes to shove I will choose
any Democrat, any day over the unelected incumbent, who (to me at
least) appears solely concerned with lining his and his corporate
friends’ pockets. (I hope I am wrong about this.) Anyhow, I am
completely the antithesis of Nazism and Fascism in this life: part of
why the Science and Veda experience was such a shock. It often still
bothers me when I see Fascism arising, and that’s why I still suspect
there is a hidden seed of it inside, or it wouldn’t be an issue —
and it certainly is an issue around (and therefore within) me right
now, if anything, more now than when I wrote that stuff in ’97. I’m
speaking of things like the Patriot Act and the Halliburton scandals,
not the TMO here of course, which at the moment is essentially
meaningless to me — no offense to anyone here to whom it may mean a
great deal; I wish it well and hope it achieves its stated goals in a
manner beneficial to everyone.

And while I have no religion per se, I owe a lot to Buddhism and
Tantra. As for “weird” or subtle experiences, “initiations” etc., I
have over the past few years completely ceased to value them, which
makes remembering them somewhat distasteful and writing the rest of
my autobiography something of a chore. And again I feel ambivalence
about letting my old stuff stand on the website; I leave it in case
someone else might enjoy or derive some meaning from it, but am not
excited about it anymore, which makes “defending” it rather
bittersweet at best!


…OK, I’ll try this again. I would be happy to discuss the relationship
between the TMO and Genghis Khan, and/or Campbell’s Soup, if and when
I perceived a meaningful pattern between them, and linking the two
brought up a strong or at least interesting response within me.
Currently the idea is completely neutral, much as any TMO/Nazi link
itself feels to me now.

Having once felt the utterly nauseating presence of modern Neo-Nazi
evil in the basement of a healing center (!) (which I mentioned
elsewhere in the autobio) not connected with the TMO, I have to say I
don’t get that physical or “astral” feeling about the TMO at all. I
wouldn’t have been able to stand it for a minute had it been so. The
experience I had with the TMO was much, much more subtle than that,
more of a trace or overarching pattern having to do with misuse of
charisma, the problems of a man surrounding himself entirely with yes-
men, and the potential evil in True Belief. I think I explained this
adequately in my autobio.

Anyhow, the insight had a lot of meaning for me at the time, and I
honor that. If you don’t, that is OK with me. I honor that too. Ok
with you?


I don’t know how many ways I can repeat my point. Obviously it isn’t
getting through, or yours isn’t getting through to me, so I guess
we’ll just have to leave it at that. I just don’t have the energy to
try again right now. I’m sorry. :-)


Yes, Mark, I agree — and even now, whoever owns the media owns the
people (or at least, owns their hearts and minds). The ever-growing
consolidation of the media, and their ownership by the Right, has
probably contributed immensely to the disappearance of any real
challenge to the corporate agenda. Perhaps the Internet will serve as
a counterbalance, but there is always the other problem with Internet
rumor-mongering. It is sometimes difficult to tell what is “true”
anymore. Or I suppose it always was, and it’s probably a good thing
that that has become more obvious. Maybe now we will rely more on our
own internal truth-meters, and hone them with practice. I would
rather be privy to a (potentially confusing) multiplicity of
viewpoints than just one, anyhow, no matter how well-intentioned that
one was.


…Yes, actually a good deal of this (the dependence on expensive
courses, overpriced Ayurvedic remedies, etc.) was already present (in
seed form at least) when I left in the early 80s, or on my return to
FF in ’86. And as a poet, I have no problem with flowery words, so
long as one doesn’t take the poetry for scripture and expect it
to “save” them and everyone else. The Vedic lifestyle is new, though.
When my wife and I came to Fairfield in ’95, I was deeply struck by
what appeared to be the conscious defacing of Fairfield’s beautiful
architecture by removing all South doors, as if spitting in the face
of the local devas.

(I realize I may not have the whole truth here, just reporting my
visceral and immediate reactions. Nature seemed shocked, stunned,
raped. Maybe it is better now. As Andrew Cohen noted so beautifully,
even those Mother-Avatars experiencing deep Enlightenment still
operate through a closed and prejudiced mind! So I may well be the
one with the closed mind. I descend from generations of architects,
am very sensitive to traditional architectural beauty and proportion,
and consequently to its lack and to ugliness. But my natural impulse
would be to say the TMO [and obviously its leader] has become
increasingly closed-minded, choosing doctrinaire dogma over sense and
sensitivity. But then, I have always found South doors and windows in
the Northern climate to be profoundly sensible and uplifting. In
India, of course, a south door would probably allow too much heat and
light, and have an enervating and deadening influence on the house.)

At first glance I find the wholesale adoption of other “Vedic”
traditions and lifestyle also to be profoundly unsettling, and while
perhaps well-intentioned appear to me to be a real step backward in
evolution. There is a reason we were born in the West, and I don’t
think it was to abandon its ideals and become faux-Easterners. But
then, I am subject to a closed mind. :-) I still liked the feeling
overall of Fairfield when I was there, so long as I didn’t pay close
attention to anything. :-)


…I agree, I think such an immediate democracy would probably cure
voter apathy almost overnight. There are too many levels between the
voter and the results now for people to feel really enfranchised.
(And the more intermediate levels there are, the more room for
special interests to corrupt the representatives.) It’s true that we
might sway with the wind as popular opinion moved this way and that.
And we might well, as a true democracy, be addicted to even more
popularity contests and short-term gain with long-term disaster than
we have now. I think it is well worth a try though — our people
might indeed rise to the occasion. I suspect they would.
…I wonder if and how we can get more direct democracy despite
the corporate structures who have such deepseated interests so
diametrically opposed to it. Or can we show that it is actually in
their best (long-term) interests too…


…So is MMY advocating monarchy, or theocracy? Sorry if this is old
ground for the rest of you, but I have been out ot the TMO for a
great many years, way out of touch. Raam-rule sounds like a
combination of both. In that he is the one appointing the kings, I
guess it is more of a theocracy, or papacy anyhow?

I must say I agree with some of his sentiments in the 3rd quote
below, re our ignoring the UN and fighting what was (IMO) a trumped-
up and illegal war. (Though the paranoid cynic in me mutters that
Bush is merely a straw man, against whom we are meant to revolt the
other way, to pave the way for a monolithic world government. Either
way they win. Muahaahaa. :-)) It does seem as if we no longer have a
true democracy (if ever we did) but more and more of a dictatorship.
(Did you read that on the Saturday they examined Saddam’s head for
lice, Bush also covertly signed part II of the Patriot Act, giving
the FBI access to financial records of everyone, not just suspects?)
I’ve heard that this is a traditional pattern — e.g. the Roman
Republic transmuting into the Roman Empire.

But I’d like to know why MMY thinks there will be no factions in a
monarchy — will everyone simply be too cowed to voice their own
opinions, for fear of banishment? That’s kind of the pattern I used
to see in the TMO. Or is everyone to be truly aware of their part in
the whole, ie Enlightened? Is this kind of Raam-Rule actually
supposed to hasten enlightenment? He used to say that no form of
government was inherently good or bad, and that the people got what
they deserved, if I recall correctly. This thinking has apparently


 …I think what I said on the three stages of
healing (Tamasic Denial, Rajasic Anger and Sattvic Clarity) in the
first part of my response applies here as well….

It depends I think on how long one says in that middle state, and
whether one is taking steps to heal it and move on. The dynamics of
this healing process are unfortunately not well known as yet, and
there appears to be no place in the TMO for addressing the issues (or
at least not when I was there), which probably exacerbates the
problem for those used to looking to the TMO for the answer to
everything. Since the TMO (I found) actively encouraged such an
attitude of Denial, and apparently did everything it could to keep
one in Denial, or else expelled one (another form of Denial), it’s
not too surprising that the TMO is reaping the karma of Anger now.
The communication back and forth as folks compare their experiences,
and realize they were not the only ones to go through this, is
healthy, and a potential first step towards making a Movement or
Movements that might address these issued and really work. I too
would love to see us all move on to Clarity, but I am not about to
try repressing anyone’s Anger back into Denial again. Rather I would
encourage active attention to the pain within that the Anger is
attempting to express, breathing through it, allowing it to be,
remembering that this too is Bliss, or at least OK. This loving
attention allows one to integrate and heal the pain, increasing our
wholeness exponentially. Resisting any emotion (Denial) is the surest
way to block it up and/or cause it to explode at inappropriate times.
Acting it out (Anger) is a little better, but one can easily get
stuck there too. Loving attention (Clarity) seems to be the real
solution, but that middle stage is necessary.

 …Of course, what one says ANYWHERE
affects (and effects, too, as you say) the entire world, and we would
do well to remember that, and take full responsibility for uttering
our highest deepest truth….
…I’m wondering how we know those rumors came from FFL? They are
apparently cropping up all over. In any event, I am not sure rumors
are irrelevant; if a person sets himself up as the one right and holy
Perfect Master he is going to be closely examined and challenged, and
rightly so. It is perhaps a shame that this reflects badly on his
teachings, but it is only to be expected. If he shows evidence of
lack of integrity, one is going to wonder how deeply this lack goes.
Is it simply a few personal foibles? Or does it extend the length and
breadth of his entire movement? Or somewhere in between? Any genuine
seeker has a right — a responsibility, really — to ask these
questions. This is only a problem for us if we think MMY has a
stranglehold on the truth. That’s a little too fundamentalist for my
…MMY, God, you, me … I do not
consign him to the flames of hell because he decided not to start TM
at this point. I don’t think God will either.
…Enlightenment is available everywhere for the sincere seeker. And in
truth, a Master’s flaws will not stop a dedicated devotee, one who is
meant to be with that particular man or woman for awhile —
particularly if the Master does not claim to be perfectly infallible
and take full responsibility for another’s salvation, thus setting
himself up for the inevitable fall.

Although perhaps I am not qualified to judge, I would
say in toto, FFL may well be — if only because it represents a
council of diverse views, rather than a monolithic (fundamentalist)
one. There is certainly (to me at least) far more energy and divine
zip here than in anything I have seen coming out of the TMO of late.
In fact, I still enjoy myself here, whereas I do not exist in the
TMO, which is irrelevant to me. If this post represents the TMO’s
current thinking, I am starting to believe the TMO may be downright
dangerous and fascist if given any credence.

…I would question whether MMY and the TMO are the
great spiritual forces you assume them to be. It would appear you
believe they are the only ones to offer any truth, and I would
certainly take issue with that. I have a lot of affection for MMY,
and gratitude for the part he played for me, but I believe anyone —
ANYONE can play that part for a devotee; devotion is its own reward —
and some “masters” probably do it with a lot fewer side-effects than
the TMO gave. From my own experience with students, I find that if
they need to transcend, they will do it, virtually regardless of the
technique they are given! I do appreciate the knowledge I got from
MMY, but I don’t think it is really the right or only path for
everyone. The fact that it was claimed to be, only throws more doubt
on the integrity of the teaching as a whole.

…Inaction from fear of possible consequences is far worse than doing
what one knows to be right, on whatever level we know it. If we wait
until we are “enlightened” to act, we will never act. Again, your
arguments sound to me like an apology for blindly bowing to fascism.
I don not advocate blindly acting either, of course.

…What we condemn in others is (often if not always)
actually in seed-form in ourselves, projected outward. That is not to
say that the other does not perfectly reflect that seed of course.
And it’s not to say that we need to blindly put our trust in another
who (to us at least) appears to lack integrity. That would be

…I don’t much recommend tearing down, except as a remedy for undue
building-up. The difference is, I claim only to be “A” master,
not “YOUR” Master; I am not saying, and will never say or imply, I
know best for you, my path and teaching is best, and you had better
follow me or face eternal damnation (or lack of enlightenment or
whatever). You are in me, and I am in you; I can probably know your
heart and your thoughts (as well as your spirit-matter body)
intimately from any distance; I can show you the flame of My divine
love, which is Your own essence; by healing parts of you in me I can
(if you permit) heal those things in you, but on the relative levels
you are YOU, not me, and I adore that. God is not a tyrant; S/He
permits at least the illusion of free will, how can I do less? The
other is in my opinion not worthy of a master, seems only worthy of a
power-mad charlatan. Of course, we can get enlightened from a
charismatic charlatan too, just as we can get enlightened from a
stone. God is infinitely merciful.
…By their fruits ye shall know them. We don’t of course
throw out physics because our physics teacher abused, overcharged, or
otherwise took advantage of us; we just share our experience with
others, warning them that this might happen to them too, maybe get
some group therapy, possibly (if we are feeling litigious) sue to
recover money or dignity, and then (if we aren’t done yet) go learn
physics from someone else, ideally by then a little less vulnerable
to teacher-worship. This is only a problem if the first teacher has
convinced us he is the only one who knows physics.

…MMM… No. I would not appreciate it on any level (except the egoic)
if you chose to ignore my flaws. I can learn from you too. If I
surrounded myself entirely with yes-men and yes-women I would
probably go mad, or perhaps vice versa. The point is, I would ask you
(if you were drawn to it) to look at my “Work” on its own merits, as
that is how it will stand or fall, just as any work is actually
independent of its discoverer. TM, the Sidhis etc. will stand or fall
on their own merits: whether or not they work, and produce what they
claim they will produce. Understanding Newton’s 2nd Law does not
depend on worshipping Newton. Whether or not you worshipped me has no
bearing on my Work — except if you worshipped me uncritically you
would probably damage my future Work by denying it a chance to grow
and evolve through dialectic.

…We are standing on the best and most
unassailable authority when we stand on our own experience. To draw
undue generalities may be irresponsible. I suppose when enough people
come forward with the same experience it becomes a consensus and then
a generality, but to leap from the one to the other is unjustifiable.
Understandable, but not justifiable. :-)

…I think this depends on the nervous system of the person [understanding what
appears to be a flaw in a positive way]. Some are
creators, some are editors. There is a place for both. I would hope
someone would point out flaws in my system(s) before they got so big
they embarassed me. :-) Without feedback, one goes further and
further off-course.
…We don’t ignore our intuition and buy a used
car from someone who is obviously trying to rook us. If we are once
rooked, we don’t have to put keep doing business with him many more
times to know that it is not smart to do that. The truth in the TMO
may just be that for some people it is time to stop investing in
something that has been promising and charging more and more, while
delivering less and less (if that is their experience). This very
decision may bring on Enlightenment; it certainly was instrumental
for me. I cannot and do not recommend this as an absolute; if your
spirit and intuition move you to remain with the TMO you have my
absolute and whole-hearted love and support (for what that’s worth).
It’s really up to each individual to determine his or her own path.
That’s where the responsibility ultimately lies.
…I do feel it is our highest responsibility to let
others know our experiences, both positive and negative.
I have tried to be as honest and open as possible
about all the flaws I see, mine included (or especially), in
hopes we might move to a new understanding and “deglamorization” of
enlightenment, and reduce the abuse inherent in completely giving
away one’s power to another (flawed) human being. While I don’t
really hope to do away with this problem, I am hoping that maybe the
wake-up call won’t have to be so painful or lonely in the future. I
also have full faith that those who need to hero-worship will still
be able to; Denial is immensely strong when we need it to be so.

It is an interesting question, and one I have wondered about. So far
at least, I still believe that those who need a Perfect Authority
will continue to find (project) it, regardless of what others may
say. As for me, I am not out to convince anyone of anything anymore,
but I will gladly listen and sympathize with others who still need to
express some pain, and tell them I have been there, and there is (for
me at least) light at the end of the tunnel.


Now THAT I can get behind — a meritocracy, based on personal choice
and predilections. (So long as we are free to shift dharmas as the
energies shift within us.) That’s kind of what was coming through me
a few years back — that each chakra had its own function, directly
analogous to the different dharmas in society. I wrote about a lot of
that stuff in my Archives.


…It’s not so much what the media do cover, but what
they don’t. I recall the furor before the Iraq war when Bush was
linking Hussein with 9/11, and to my recollection no major news
sources challenged this egregious lie one iota. Another was his claim
that Hussein had WMD — but none of the media pointed out that it was
we who had sold them to him in the first place! I don’t recall the
major media ever pointing out that both Osama and Hussein had been
(perhaps still were?) employed by the US government, and had strong
CIA ties. No one has raised the point that the pentagon itself
floated a paper in the ’50s about using a remotely-controlled
airliner to fake a hijacking and subsequent crash to start a war with
Castro. There was so much wrong with the official media’s version of
9/11 I can’t even begin to discuss it here. For a truly alternative
viewpoint, though, I suggest taking a look at David Icke’s
book, “Alice in Wonderland and the World Trade Center Disaster” (I
think that was the title)– I am not saying he has gotten all his
facts absolutely accurate, but his arguments in many places ring a
lot truer to me than the version we’ve been fed by the so-called
liberal media.

…No, really, LB, that’s OK; I formally absolve you of all debt, real
or imagined. :-) It was worth the subscription price just to meet


…I think genetics certainly play a
large part in our lives — but your recounting of MMY’s theory still
sounds like a rationale for the Caste system to me. It’s so easy to
misapply. Should we — as they apparently do in India — only let
ministers’ children be ministers, based on genetic “advantage” or
predisposition? What about the geniuses who are born out of caste?
By that token, should we listen to anything MMY says re the Vedas?
He’s not a Brahmin, is he? I don’t know, maybe I am overreacting, but
I keep getting whiffs of something stinky here.


…while some people have gotten great (e.g. healing) results from such inquiry [past life regression] — my wife for example — I have never been gotten much from conscious attempts to contact other lives, either. Mostly the stuff came spontaneously and viscerally.

…Yes, our tendencies and talents must have come from somewhere, I

…but was definitely saddled by old sadhu vows of poverty and having
a hard time of it in this life…. I finally got fed up with it,
yelled at my projection of “God” (who was very loving
about it), took some vows of prosperity to erase the old chittas
(that the right term?), and did affirmations alternating with
attentive breathwork to heal the poverty grit-points in my field. It
worked I guess (if you believe in causality etc.); money is no longer
an issue that I am aware of: I don’t work (for money anyhow), am out
of debt, own outright a good old house and some land with a couple of
old apple trees, not too far from our favorite Maine beach, and we’re
looking for a second house where it is warm in the winter. I have
what feels like an unlimited income to buy whatever CDs or old books
or anything else I might want. I even (finally!) got my driver’s
license and enjoy our old minivan immensely. (I like old things, you
might have noticed.) We feel very blessed. (I must say that while I
paid for our house myself, I probably never would have bought one if
it were not for my wife. I was too fond of apartment city-dwelling.)
I don’t say any of this to boast — in relative terms I guess I am
barely in the middle class — but to point out that all of this was
utterly inconceivable to me before.

Maybe it all would have happened anyhow, but that’s the way miracles
almost always seem to work: impossible to conceive or to dare to
demand; absolutely inevitable and natural afterwards. I still credit
my projection of God and the small amount of precise work done on the
body-field to allow the grace to flow in. (The money that flowed to
me also flowed to everyone else in my family, so that none of us
really has to work anymore, and we are all following our delight. I
had done affirmations to erase the belief that if I got rich I was
taking from someone else.) I got a lot out of Sondra Ray, who has
some great material on prosperity, as does Catherine Ponder. I think
in the end, perhaps, it was just that I finally decided to value the
here and now.

…lovemaking can be superb — maybe supreme — for opening the
heart and consciousness.

…I have enjoyed similar pursuits [sitting in samadhi for hours]  and am similarly focused on this plane now. I must say though that when it came down to really valuing groundedness and mastery of the mundane,  it’s happened a lot more since I dropped all the sitting and meditating and have just been here.
It really worked, and I didn’t lose anything — gained immeasurably, rather. Of course I would not recommend doing this unless I absolutely knew it was the right thing to do — not that you
or anyone is likely to!

…[the] mantric master in me says, “Be careful of saying ‘I am really sick…’ and ‘Real tired.’
The ‘I AM’ is a form of God; it’s good to give God attributes that we
actually desire.”) There is more than enough to go around, many times
over. I am not sure if people believing in lack or disempowerment
will ever help themselves in any meaningful way though, short of a
massive revolution in consciousness. I have seen how tightly we cling
to our beliefs in limitation. This is not to blame the apparent
victim; probably the biggest believers in lack are the ones doing all
the accumulating of money and power beyond what they actually need.

…I don’t mean to deny your feelings — rather I
would try to process them and integrate them, if it were me — but I
would be careful about what I visualize and lend power to.

[Work in the moment] …this is the key to personal integrity, it seems to me.

…Most interesting! Now if that were me, I would say: Since this has
come to my attention from several sources, it’s worth at least taking
a look at. Let’s assume for a moment that I WAS Aleister Crowley.
(How does my bodymind feel with that thought?) If so, then what can I
learn from his life? What samskaras would he have, that I still
share? What aspects of wisdom, power, love, charisma, relationships,
money, etc., had he mastered, and which ones was he misusing or
misapprehending? Do I misuse or misapprehend them today? Would this
life appear to be more of the same, or a compensatory opposite? Is
there, in other words, a way I can heal “him” in me? It seems to me,
regardless of whether we “were” these people or not, we can certainly
learn from them — sometimes far more immediately if we assume or
Imagine for a moment (as one does in Magick) that it is true. What do
you think?

For what it is worth I think the IRV [Instant Runoff Voting] is a great idea.
Doens’t Australia practice it already? If so, how is it working for
them? IMO the two-party system is ridiculous, and if I remember
rightly, not envisioned by the Founding Parents. As to the complex
issues, perhaps voters would continue to vote only on the ones that
they have an interest in? I pretty much do that now, on referenda etc.
…Truly, I don’t know, Phil. I also liked your thoughtful post about
California Referenda and the Schwarzenegger popularity contest. All
of which goes to show that I have no idea what I am talking about —
however exalted any previous or future claims to “Enlightenment.” A
word to the wise! :-)
I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but I get an uneasy feeling when someone
apparently says that all Brahmins are more enlightened than everyone
else. If this is what you are saying, I must strenuously disagree.
But maybe you are just saying that Brahmins have been trained in this
medium, and so better able to sing it?

I will be the first to agree with you that quality of consciousness
manifests very purely in speech, though I suppose even that is open
to some debate. (How are we to know another’s consciousness
perfectly? What are the standards we use to measure it? How about
those who have very well-trained and absolutely beautiful voices and
don’t show corresponding levels of ethical behavior? Or can we equate
consciousness with ethical behavior at all? Are we merely speaking of
the Absolute vibrating? How do we know what we think is the Absolute,
really is, and is not simply the Solar Angel, or Causal Self, etc.?
And so on.)


…Speaking of the value of protest, it was through raising a big stink
on the outer (as well as an immense amount of work in the inner) that
we managed to save the 1815 architectural masterpiece across the
street from being destroyed and replaced with a big-box-style
University clinic a few years back. I had no problem with the clinic,
just its horrendously insensitive scale and design. I put out signs
on our lawn, wrote dozens of letters, pulled strings, had a website,
appeared in the newspaper and on TV (even aired as far south as
Boston, apparently). They eventually adopted a compromise advocated
by my brother (a preservation architect, veteran of many such
battles, who had told me the only way to win was to shine a lot of
publicity on it); they retained and renovated the house, keeping it
as a buffer for the huge piece of junk they built behind it. I can
live with it, I’m most grateful.

By contrast, this year, after two years of rejections by the
Historical Commission and the Planning Board (both of which I spoke
at), a nursing-home managed to bypass them and bring its appeal to
the city councilors (one of whom had been on its board of directors)
to destroy two downtown landmark 1840s Greek-Revival masterpieces in
decent condition (its own previous director had expressly asked they
be put in the Historic District, and they were), to erect an outsized
mediocre eyesore in their stead. This happened too quickly to
marshall any resources; the neighbors seemed on top of things
(although it turns out they didn’t get the same kind of airtime or
press coverage), and I didn’t have the heart for doing all the outer
publicity and worked mostly on the inner planes, contenting myself on
the outer with speaking at the hearing with dozens of other objectors
and writing a long letter to the city councillors and the newspaper.
Again, I recommended adaptive reuse and if necessary, new connecting
buildings sensitively designed. There wasn’t time for much more than
that. We lost; the zoning was waived, betraying every neighbor who
had invested in an old house in that neighborhood and had taken the
time and trouble to maintain and sensitively repair it. Moral? Only
protest and publicity, and lots of it, will ensure that justice is


This reminds me of another paradox I am trying to hash out — I
generally favor States’ rights, but not as an excuse for the caste-
system and racial intolerance. Were it not for that one aspect of
Northern moral superiority, I would strongly have favored the South’s
right to secede in the Civil War. As it is I would reluctantly have
sided with the Northerners. On the other hand, Federal intervention
even when well-intentioned can have very enervating side-effects. If
we can’t trust the morality of the people, whom can we trust? Anytime
we place our trust and power in another’s hands, do we abdicate
responsibility? How do we maintain checks and balances on the
representatives, so that they really represent US? Or is perhaps an
oligarchy inevitable?


And of course, if the corporations are smart, they choose and fund
both candidates. :-)


The question I have always wanted to know is, WHAT is the eggman? And
what does he have to do with a walrus?


…Because I don’t like to have to be the one pointing all this stuff
out to people who have never heard it or seen it on the regular
newschannels or in the newspapers or magazines (ie the major media).
That’s the major media’s job, not mine. :-) At the very least, it
should be their job to explore these allegations that I have read in
the minor media, do the fact checking independently, and explode or
confirm them. That would do a lot to restore their credibility in my
eyes. A little less time on Brittney and Madonna’s kiss (who really
cares??) and a little more on how the environment is doing, etc. etc.
really wouldn’t hurt. I believe you expressed something along these
lines yourself. I know you feel the major media are merely pandering
to the public’s desire; I think rather they are doing more than their
share of active distraction.

…Some of my “alternative” information is through direct cognition and
intuition (which I countercheck with other intuitives and generally
receive independent confirmation, such as it is); some is through
conventional media (books), and much of it is from the Net (obviously
as well-documented sites as I can find). You’re absolutely right,
there is way more access to “alternative” information now than there
was. That doesn’t excuse the major media from addressing these
issues, does it?


It is true that
after about 1850 the quality of wood and worksmanship declined a good
bit as the big trees disappeared and timber-framing was replaced with
balloon-framing; I was particularly thinking of the older ones in
this area, say 1790s to 1850s or ’60s. Their foundations are often in
disrepair, as ours (1860s) was in one spot. Often not that big a deal
to repair (ours looked awful but was only a one-day job, under
$1000); as I say it is a typical ploy of the owners looking for
excuses to demolish, to exaggerate the problems and costs involved.
The chapel may well have already been in disrepair at that time. I
didn’t notice it, but then I didn’t have much of an eye for disrepair
before I bought my own old house. Now, I see it everywhere. :-) But
again, I am not saying that old buildings are not subject to time, or
that they are not expensive to maintain. I’m only saying they are
generally worth it. Our children and our children’s children will be
grateful for the old ones saved. Once someone decides to destroy it,
it can never be brought back, though the decision be rued by
countless people to come. This happened time and again around here by
ambitious developers in the 1960s and 1970s who tore down gorgeous
one-of-a-kind buildings — I mean museum pieces — and put up
absolute crud in their places. I bet you dollars to raams :-) that
any building MUM puts up in its place will be decrepit long before
another 90 years have come and gone. Hope I am wrong, though.

…the chapel was beautiful; I enjoyed the building
immensely while I was there; it and its cloister brought me solace
that no other building on campus did (except the 1850s one nearby,
also a splendid structure). It may not have been that to you, but it
was to me. But then, I have always liked old buildings with “soul.”
If you prefer things new and (to me) “soul-less”, you certainly are
not alone. God knows, they are cleaner, easier to maintain, often
better designed for modern living — just missing that almost
indefinable something that makes living in them or around them
undesirable for me. Again, if their modern replacements were actually
well-designed and aesthetically inspiring, as good as the ones they
replaced, then lost history or not, I wouldn’t mind nearly so much,
if at all.


 [Orono one-week TM residence courses in the 1970s]
 They were great. ’74 for sure, quite possibly ’75 as well — I’d have to check
my autobio for exact dates. I took them whenever I could.

…Ayuh! Bert & I. Some of that dry Maine humah! Is Charlie [Donahue] still
alive/around? I remember him with a great deal of affection.

…I completely get it — I always used to want to create the first
American Temple of Love, where people could experience sacred sex
with holy prostitutes, as we did in classical times. Can you imagine
sex spiritualized again on that scale? Wow. We haven’t seen the like
in centuries. (Although come to think of it Rajneesh may have been
trying for something like that.) Guess it’d have to be in Nevada.
Needless to say, perhaps, my wife is not all that thrilled with this
aspect in me either. :-) Good thing it is not a burning desire.
Something like that may happen someday, but I doubt I will be having
anything to do with it!

…If that’s the way you feel, that’s OK. I can understand the desire to
let sleeping dogs lie (assuming for the moment that he’s even your
dog). I’ve sometimes found that understanding or hypothesizing
connections (and you apparently have a lot in common) can if the time
is right give more perspective and accelerate healing, that’s all.
Since your intuition tells you otherwise, I respect that. For all I
know, this email is meant to be read by the “real” Crowley reborn in
Zambia in 1982, and his reading this on the Net 10 years from now
will send him into satori. :-)

What was his [King Nader Raam] discovery
exactly? I do find the emphasis on Ram (or Raam) interesting in light
of my visit to Ramaloka (?) in ’84 or thereabouts. (big throne,
throngs chanting JAI RAM JAI RAM JAI JAI — very intense). Maybe I
was just looking at the future of the TMO. Not quite sure what to
make of that. To use my old language for a moment, Ram I always
thought to be the seed-mantra (well, it would be RON or RAAN
technically) connected to the power center (Cosmic Mental Plane,
fire, Mars, Aries, navel chakra, etc.), associated with the divine
warrior and protector but not specifically with the Divine King
(Cosmic Causal Plane, solar-plexus chakra). What about the Divine
Queen, by the way? Can’t have Sovereignty without the Queen! Who’s
the lucky Sita?


…Early buildings were actually
generally built to standards and with a quality of materials simply
unavailable today, for any amount of money. Sure they take a lot of
money to upkeep. That is part of the responsibility that goes with
owning one and maintaining it properly and in a timely manner — not
waiting way too long and then arguing it’s too run-down and costs too
much to repair. That’s called “demolition by neglect,” an old ploy
used by both the University and the nursing-home here in my town.
Some smart towns have actually outlawed “demolition by neglect” in
their historic districts. (Ours hasn’t.) It didn’t work for the
University; once they saw which way the wind was blowing, they
gracefully changed course, made the necessary repairs, and the
building is as fine as it ever was (and that wasn’t even in the
Historic District, albeit highly visible). I am a great fan of
adaptive reuse. (I was thanked by some members of the University
afterward for helping put the pressure on to save their landmark. It
had been impolitic for some of them to speak out.) The nursing-home
made the same argument of course, and didn’t persuade the Planning
Board or the Historical Commission. The town councillors were
unqualified to judge, but were apparently responding to some
political agenda. They certainly weren’t responding to the will of
the people, as evidenced at the so-called Hearing, which was
obviously choreographed and pre-decided: If I remember aright, all
the dozens of objectors spoke first, followed at the end by all three
(!)proponents: the home’s director, the councillor who had been on
the home’s board of directors, and the mayor’s wife. By that time, it
was pretty clear which way the wind was blowing. We were not allowed
to reply to them, and I wrote a long letter to each of the
councillors and the paper, to no avail.)

B) They are irreplaceable pieces of history; they represent a people
long gone; they have “soul” in a way that no new building can, or
will have until it too has been here for a century or two. In this
throw-away culture, we can use all the “soul” we can get. Every
unnnecessary loss of our past diminishes us tangibly. This is mostly
true because

C) We build junk these days. We have abandoned the traditional canons
of proportion and sacred geometry inherent in virtually every
classically-designed building up until a generation or so ago. This
may well be due in part, as some architects say, to the draconian
building codes now which make it very difficult to design anything
that sings. If architecture is frozen music, most modern buildings
are more like frozen Muzak then a Bach cantata: Insipid, enervating,
downright unhealthy. Moreover, the standards of construction and the
quality of materials are not particularly high now. I am sorry to say
it, but I have not been overly impressed with the Stapathya-Veda
output in Fairfield either; neither was my brother who as an
architect was more qualified than I to judge.

Now I am really pleased to say that there is some modern stuff going
up here and there lately that really isn’t bad at all. In Maine it is
still the exception to the rule, but I am overall pleased with the
trend. We will probably not in our lifetime be able to match the
quality of the old buildings’ construction (that sort of timber and
stonework just isn’t available for any price, I am told), but if we
could actually turn out buildings consistently as aesthetically
uplifting and proportionately perfect as (say) a Greek Revival, I
would have far less of a problem seeing the old ones go. I just don’t
like to see perfection replaced with putresecence.


…unfortunately though, decisions about architecture based on a
belief in lack of money, produce impoverished results. These low-
cost, poorly-designed results don’t last long, and while they do last
they have a truly insidious effect on the entire area, subtly
propogating poverty, small-mindedness, and short-sightedness. A truly
wealthy consciousness, steeped in the absolute and enjoying the
support of all the laws of nature, would perhaps be able to conceive
of a solution embodying something other than a win/lose situation,
and try something like adaptive reuse. Economically if one is willing
to look long-term it’s being found that “recycling” of old buildings
is often the desirable way to go. I don’t mean to sound dogmatic
here; I am not a preservation architect myself (and I doubt MUM
consulted one); I am just saying I have heard an awful lot of these
arguments before and they don’t usually represent the optimal
solution. If MUM truly thought about these options and consulted a
decent preservation architect before deciding to raze it, I
apologize. As I said though, I suspect they didn’t.


…aligning the individual’s subtle anatomy [chakras]
with astrology, geometries of consciousness, mythological cycles, and
mechanics of manifesting the various planes. A mantric science
[based on the mouth and its pronunication-points as a microcosm of
the body and its chakras] and proto-language popped out too, aligned
with the rest. Also a script that mapped where in the microcosm the
sound it described was emanating from, and looked like a cross
between Sanskrit and Elvish. No idea if any of it actually has any
real-world value, though [whatever that might be] — just know it
held an awful lot of meaning for me at the time. As I believe feste
has noted, it may well be psychotic ravings, to some at least.
Doesn’t feel like it to me, but maybe I’m still too close to it. :-)


…Orono was intensely beautiful, alright.
Heh, did you see Andy Kaufman’s show at the TM center in Cambridge? Before he
got famous; no one knew who he was, but we were expecting some kind
of advanced lecture, and here’s this slightly creepy guy going
through these weird personas… When he lit a cigarette in his lounge-
lizard bit about half of the people walked out of the lecture hall.
Sorry to say I did too. Just as we were leaving he slipped into the
weeping bongo-player routine and that was the last I saw of him. A
very odd soul! Carey did him justice in Man in the Moon, I thought.


…Alan Hodder! What a great guy.
I didn’t even know he got married. I remember well his advanced
lectures on the American Transcendentalists; it’s so great to see he
continued on and made a career of it! I didn’t know he got an MTS
from Harvard Div School — must not have been there when I was.
…I remember now when I
was much younger, I sensed there was a lot of stuff wrong with
Vietnam, the government, etc., but I just couldn’t bring myself to
put my finger on it or to care too much. The problem seemed too big
to me, and so I just numbed it out. Thanks for reminding me of that;
I do appreciate it. My main problem as a teacher has always been (I
think) that I too easily forget where the other person is actually
coming from, and forget what other states of consciousness felt like
at the time.

…I do think people
numb out and become apathetic and concern themselves with trivia in
part at least because they feel disempowered. Direct participation
would help, wouldn’t it? I know it did for me in my first public
hearing, when I aired my arguments in city hall and was actually
heard. This actually shocked me, I had become so used to having no
political voice. I am not sure Vashti’s process would entirely cure
that, but it might well help. (I had a somewhat similar notion once
of people voting over the Internet, but I think Vashti’s idea is more
accessible and recordable. Probably a lot less hackable, too.)

…Doing my best, when I can, where I can, and trying not to sound like
a radical-right militiaman at the same time. (What an irony. I am so
out there I am both radical-right and radical-left simultaneously!)

…And even the best intuitives are not always right, I guess. (My
bodymind/gut never lies, as far as I know, but other parts of me are
rather often mistaken. :-)) And (as Andrew Cohen notes on the Divine
Mothers) all of us, regardless of our immersion in the Absolute, do
still have somewhat closed minds, with preconceived notions, that can
further cloud our interpretation of the information we do get. It’s a
very iffy area. I have never been wrong in my apprehension of
another’s bodymind, (again, as far as I know), for example, but there
are other areas of knowledge that I am considerably less adept at.
(However, I am not actively working in any of those areas at present –
– only passively, when I feel someone in need in my field of
awareness. But that’s automatic; I am in a sense only working on
myself.) My wife has displayed good accuracy (close but not perfect)
at genetic ancestral data and specific future events (particularly
economic and political; she called and properly timed the 2000
Republican Presidency, its strengths and weaknesses, and the 2003
Iraqi war and its consequences back in 1996). Maybe we could somehow
put together a consortium (call it, I don’t know, Fairfield Life)
where people could pool their talents. The X-Men (and -Women). :-)


Yes! By, Gorry, I think we’ve got — we’ve got — Yes! The new
SCRIPTURE! Cognized directly from the Absolute, gracing us with its
presence and birthing a new purity throughout the Universe of
Universes. Let’s start that new religion NOW! And the best part is,
we can fight about how much better Oh My God’s New Improved
Revelation is than the rest, merely pitiful fore-runners and
imitations of Oh My God’s. I call shotgun! WHO’s with me???? :-)

Or wait — hey! I could start a splinter sect, insisting that the
Walrus is really Lennon’s cognition of Ganesh (tusks being the
giveaway of course), whereas the Eggman is the Consort of
Bhuvanesvari, Our Lady of the Spheres (Lunar keeper of the Egg of the
Multiverse), and therefore HAS to be Solar Brahma(n). Since Ganesh is
Jupiter in Aquarius (YES, I said Aquarius, not Sagittarius!! But
don’t worry, my Aquarius is your Capricorn, because of the Taurus
Equinox) and manifester of the Violet Ray, and Brahma(n) is Sun in
Leo and manifester of the Golden Ray, then we have diametric
opposition between the Leo Eggman and the Aquarius Walrus, since the
Eggman is the Solar Seed or Creator and the Walrus is the Smith,
the “Heavy” Guru (Jupiter)- responsibility-giver or “destroyer”). And
so GOO GOO GOO JOO(P) is merely Jupiter’s seed-mantra GW GW GW and
JOOP indicates that this is indeed JOOP-iter, not Saturn. We can thus
see that Lennon secretly identified with Aquarius in intiating the
New Age! So while Oh My God was RIGHT in saying that the Eggman and
the Walrus don’t get along, he didn’t go nearly far enough! They are
Father and Son/Sun, each slaying the other to manifest the solstices
or poles of creation and destruction! So that guy that killed John
Lennon was enacting the sacred drama, slaying the Messiah at His
appointed time. Hey, I think this is a conspiracy!


…But that does bring up an interesting point. When all that
intuition first opened up, I did indeed access it most of the time,
like a kid with a new toy. After a while, it just felt like
information overload, and now I really only pay extra attention if
someone specifically asks me to help them out, or if I am in real
pain that needs to be dissolved (essentially the same thing). Maybe I
have gotten old and lazy, but there are just too many little blips on
the radar to go chasing after each one. And I don’t know why, but I
actually enjoy not using those abilties more than using them, at
least when it comes to my personal life. There’s a lot to be said for
unknowing. I suspect the same may be true of the many intuitives who,
however gifted, often fail to see the personal stuff right in front
of them. What do you think?

…Yes, I was told, thanks. See, that’s the thing. Intuition said
there’s something not-quite-right here, but I get that for the TMO
material a lot anyhow! (And when I mention it, I get jumped on so
much that I prefer just to let it go, as I don’t have any axe to
grind there anyhow.) Intuition still gets filtered and interpreted
through concrete mind, or what passes for it. Plus, I am known to be
somewhat credulous, or (as I like to think of it) “open to all
possibilities.” It really didn’t ring all that false. :-)
…Looks as if we’ll have 2004 by 2004.
*H*A*P*P*Y* *N*E*W* *Y*E*A*R*


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