2004 March

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with drawing your own conlusions
and learning from what you see in others; a teacher (like the whole
world) will always be teaching you and showing you exactly what you
need most to see. I would just caution against forming a rigid
judgement that “this is bad” or “wrong” — for it will then be
virtually inevitable that we will find ourselves automatically acting
out the very behavior we have judged: the age-old pattern of the
abusee becoming the abuser — another angle of “Judge not lest ye be
judged.”

…On the other hand, this acting-out is also Grace, as by judging something “bad” we are telling the Universe that we do not comprehend it — literally — and so the Universe arranges for us to “know by being.” When we find ourselves acting out this way, it is also
important (if we have a choice) not to judge this as “bad” either — or else we have formed an attachment-by-aversion and will probably then continue to repeat it. It is also Grace that we are all in a Self-paced course of awakening here, and we will be shown the lesson
as many times in as many forms as it takes to comprehend it. We can perhaps shortcut the whole process considerably if we realize these dynamics right up front: “IT IS ALL GOOD.” *lol*

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…we do not advocate an abandonment of right-and-wrong discrimination when considering a course of action yet to be taken: only suggesting we avoid a post-mortem judgement as to the absolute effects or qualities of an action which has already happened, and
over which we now have no control but to curse (thereby perpetuating its aftereffects) or to bless (thereby erasing any potential aftereffects).

…(Who can advise an awakened one on how to act anyhow *lol*  — they pretty much do what they must.) …it would seem many times
that some of our wildest behavior is perhaps reserved for the years immediately after awakening, when the emptiful and all-forgiving
freedom is so self-evident that many of the remaining latent desires come boiling out to dissipate as quickly as possible (though this
timing is probably not a hard-and-fast rule by any means), as we test the bounds of that freedom.

On the other hand, it may be argued a Being-infused teacher will
always use the precise energies, thoughts, words and actions handed
to him or her by Grace in the moment to express the Self and so to
most profoundly awaken that same Self in a student. These may well
transcend the normal mores and ethics — but if so, it would be
probably be best in the future to lay out those “no-rules” rules
explicitly in a kind of contract before the student agrees to that
sort of relationship.

What was that scripture that says that the karma of these actions is given not to the awakened one (who is considered beyond those repercussions), but to his or her friends and enemies — good karma to friends, bad karma to enemies? This seems a little simplistic (Who is really a friend, and who is an enemy? We all express our loving relationships as best we can at the moment, and we are all one), and doesn’t exactly reflect how it feels at the moment anyhow. (We now usually feel at least some of the effects of our actions almost immediately, through the bodyminds of those whom they most immediately affect, as if those bodyminds were in some sense our own. This tends to make us on the one hand more careful or more precise,
as more sensitive to the repercussions, and on the other even more bold, as it becomes clearer and clearer that we are only speaking to ourSelf, acting upon ourSelf, etc.)

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…1) That the remnants of personal karmas, desires etc. are propelling
the awakened one’s action and 2) That it is all Grace, all divine,
and all perfect. These have appeared to be contradictory as
1) appears to be a form of leshavidya and 2) appears
to be the traditional view of the “perfect Master.” …I
also feel that these two are not actually contradictory. This is
because in the end everything and everyone, enlightened or in the
depths of ignorance, is actually our perfect master in this moment;
Brahman is not in the slightest constrained by whether an agent is
aware of It or not.
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Yes, it would seem there is a lot of anger coming back to MUM and the TMO, with multiple charges of consistent hypocrisy, elitism, denial
and deception over the decades. It will be great if they/we all can see this as the karma that it is, and be moved into a place of true
remorse, vulnerability, honesty, and responsibility, rather than just rejecting it out-of-hand as “negativity from outside.” But the thing
about a corporation is, who is really accountable, other than the CEO? The other faces change and are replaced over the years, and were
all generally “just following orders” anyhow. I doubt that the CEO is going to take responsibility at this late date.

In the end we may have no choice but to practice blanket forgiveness
of ourselves, the CEO himself, and everyone else concerned, if only
to spare ourselves the pain of continuing to lash out at ourselves
and others by near-infinite repercussions and echoes of those
unhealed wounds of betrayal and rage. “I bless you completely; I
forgive you completely; I release you completely; you bless me
completely; you forgive me completely; you release me completely;
there is complete blessing, forgiveness, and release between us now!
So it is,” repeated until completed, has been perhaps the most
effective “mantra” I have ever used. *lol*

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Sometimes it seems that I experience aspects of the posters
as aspects within mySelf when they are thinking of me.
 I believe almost anyone here can experience this to
whatever degree they feel comfortable –whether it be in the form
of “remote scanning” or “channeling” or “group-mind/heart” or
whatever — I think as soon as we at least tentatively let go of the
disbelief, we are capable of a lot more than we think we are, indeed
are already swimming in a vast sea of that sort of information which
we are usually editing out. And if anyone wishes to disbelieve this,
that’s fine with me too.
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I am inclined to think that the present time is very ripe [cultivating openness to vast information], though, and the illusory veils are
getting very thin — particularly if we are actually to experience any real kind of A of E or Omega Point or New Age or
Universal/Pleaidean spirit-matter bestowal or Rapture or Planetary Awakening or Second Coming or whatever else we might call the
potential evolutionary leap that so many are seeing just ahead. *lol*

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If you feel comfortable with the idea, you might want to play with
accessing some of these areas by circumventing your normal censor.
This censor generally gets rather threatened by upsets to the status
quo, which it sees as its job to preserve. So we “play” or “pretend”
we can do this, so it won’t worry too much: “If I COULD sense ——,
what would —- look or feel (or sound etc.) like?” Suspend critical
judgement until after the entire insight is received. It could come
intensely and quickly, or it might come very subtly and slowly.  It
may come as a scent, sound, image, feeling, taste, or a whole bundle
of information like an AHA, or something entirely other. This can be
great to practice with someone else as a partner, so they can confirm
your insights about them or about people they know but whom you
don’t. Some people apparently find they are actually capable of
receiving quite detailed and accurate information almost immediately.
(If you receive mixed messages or obvious errors, though, remember it
took us quite a while to learn to walk, too, and we didn’t give up
after falling on our behinds a couple of hundred times. *lol*)

Anyhow, there are a lot of “psychic healing and development” or “intuitive development” courses out there now — if you are moved, perhaps you could try one! I was quite blown away by the ones offered in Fairfield by Carla Gordan (Ron Scolastico’s teacher) back in the early 80s; I don’t know who might be teaching them now, but I guarantee someone is *lol*

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…I consider anger greatly preferable to denial. For me,…anger itself got old and stale after a while, and this post was an attempt at showing a technique which worked well for me for moving beyond an unfulfilling addiction to anger into deeper release and love. In no way is it intended to keep one from honoring one’s feelings. Rather, it generally moved me from a rather shallow adrenaline-rush rut which did not feel authentic (as it never seemed to truly resolve) into a much deeper feeling of authenticity.

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…The psychopathic qualities of corporations have been driving me
nuts (*lol*) for decades now. If we can somehow heal this disease, we
may actually live to see a New Age!

…I do believe that awakening people out of their apathy and sense of
powerlessness may well go a long way to stimulating some solutions.

…I was too hurried to be clear, but was not attempting to single out capitalist corporations; I was using the term more loosely, as e.g. the TMO is a corporation, and indeed virtually any large group-consciousness is a corporation. I think there are obviously corporate problems with the TMO; there probably are with the Boy Scouts as well, as there seem to be in any large group-consciousness. I do think we as a planet are probably far more immediately endangered by the global for-profit megacorps than we are by either the TMO or the Boy Scouts; however, I’d like to see them all healed.

…I had no subtext (that I am aware of anyhow) as to a solution. (Hmm — Other than perhaps a potential group-mind “evolution” or quantum-leap, I suppose; I have no illusions about being able to accomplish that from our side.) I do not think dismantling the corporations is a good idea at all. We don’t kill the patient just because s/he has a disease; I don’t believe the patient IS the disease.

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…I have found affirmations to work very well, but only when one takes the time and attention to acknowledge and process and integrate the bodymind’s objections, weaving back and forth between the “spiritual” thesis and the “material” antithesis until a true synthesis is achieved. For me it is at that point never merely a belief, but rather an all-encompassing alchemical fusion, not unlike seeing Godde.

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…(One thing I have noticed which might help — if I am not getting the
answer I am looking for, it is because I am not asking the right
question. *lol*) I have found over and over again that what
we “decide” to give ourselves (before or after awakening, for that
matter, but more obviously afterwards) is always and only what we
most need/want in that given moment. After awakening, for example, I
discovered the only technique or siddhi I really wanted to explore further wholeheartedly was that of levitation. (Further inquiry into this, on my own timetable, brought me to all sorts of understandings
and developments that I would not have anticipated, and culminated in the complete satisfaction of that particular desire — though it took
about four more years.)

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…Until we see the Self flowing in service to and through
another, we do not really know what the Self is.

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If I recall correctly, that fast pranayama is traditionally
called “bhastrika” (sp?) or “bellows-breath,” and is specifically for
awakening the kundalini, as a smith’s bellows fans the smoldering
embers into a white-hot flame.

…Although I notice from Google that “bhastrika” may or may not involve alternating the nostrils, and seems to be a generic term for several forms of rapidly forced deep-breathing pranayma.

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…Kathy Brooks’ husband Tommy…and MUM’s intent was that he
would be in charge of one acre of greenhouses in Vedic City, to
provide produce for MUM itself. But then Maharishi heard about the
plan and told him to work on creating 1200 acres of greenhouses all
over the U.S. It’s pretty funny to think about, but who knows?

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There are several definitions for “cult,” some more pejorative than
others. In deciding how dangerous the TMO “cult” may or may not be,
it may be helpful to apply Isaac Bonewits’ cult-danger evaluation
questions:

The Advanced Bonewits’ Cult Danger Evaluation Frame
(version 2.6)
  Factors:   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Low High

1 Internal Control: Amount of internal political and social power
exercised by leader(s) over members; lack of clearly defined
organizational rights for members. 1 _________________________

2 External Control: Amount of external political and social influence
desired or obtained; emphasis on directing members’ external
political and social behavior. 2 _________________________

3 Wisdom/Knowledge Claimed by leader(s); amount of infallibility
declared or implied about decisions or doctrinal/scriptural
interpretations; number and degree of unverified and/or unverifiable
credentials claimed. 3 _________________________

4 Wisdom/Knowledge Credited to leader(s) by members; amount of trust
in decisions or doctrinal/scriptural interpretations made by leader
(s); amount of hostility by members towards internal or external
critics and/or towards verification efforts. 4
_________________________

5 Dogma: Rigidity of reality concepts taught; amount of doctrinal
inflexibility or “fundamentalism;” hostility towards relativism and
situationalism. 5 _________________________

6 Recruiting: Emphasis put on attracting new members; amount of
proselytizing; requirement for all members to bring in new ones. 6
_________________________

7 Front Groups: Number of subsidiary groups using different names
from that of main group, especially when connections are hidden. 7
_________________________

8 Wealth: Amount of money and/or property desired or obtained by
group; emphasis on members’ donations; economic lifestyle of leader
(s) compared to ordinary members. 8 _________________________

9 Sexual Manipulation of members by leader(s) of non-tantric groups;
amount of control exercised over sexuality of members in terms of
sexual orientation, behavior, and/or choice of partners. 9
_________________________

10 Sexual Favoritism: Advancement or preferential treatment dependent
upon sexual activity with the leader(s) of non-tantric groups. 10
_________________________

11 Censorship: Amount of control over members’ access to outside
opinions on group, its doctrines or leader(s). 11
_________________________

12 Isolation: Amount of effort to keep members from communicating
with non-members, including family, friends and lovers. 12
_________________________

13 Dropout Control: Intensity of efforts directed at preventing or
returning dropouts. 13 _________________________

14 Violence: Amount of approval when used by or for the group, its
doctrines or leader(s). 14 _________________________

15 Paranoia: Amount of fear concerning real or imagined enemies;
exaggeration of perceived power of opponents; prevalence of
conspiracy theories. 15 _________________________

16 Grimness: Amount of disapproval concerning jokes about the group,
its doctrines or its leader(s). 16 _________________________

17 Surrender of Will: Amount of emphasis on members not having to be
responsible for personal decisions; degree of individual
disempowerment created by the group, its doctrines or its leader(s).
17 _________________________

18 Hypocrisy: amount of approval for actions which the group
officially considers immoral or unethical, when done by or for the
group, its doctrines or leader(s); willingness to violate the group’s
declared principles for political, psychological, social, economic,
military, or other gain. 18 _________________________
 
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A yantra is a sacred geometric diagram inscribed on paper or metal
and attuned to a specific deity, and sometimes apparently infused
with prana and used as an amulet or talisman, or often simply used as
an instrument of contemplation and meditation.

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…I do not disagree that one can obtain realization of one’s a priori
immortality through the TM technique(s), or more profoundly through
transcending the TM technique(s),…

…What does bliss have to do with the TMO? You have always been that.
Haven’t you?

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…I have read and re-read [Bonewits] book and articles over the last 20
years and I respect his mind, regardless of his name. Anyone who
would dismiss Bonewits’ well-reasoned cult criteria because of his
name, on the other hand, I do not fully trust….

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…Seriously, it may be a personal bias of mine, but I tend to favor expressions that actually do ring of personal experience, rather than appear lifted right out of TMO literature.

…I have nothing against the technique or the sidhis, as long as they appear to be a source of bliss and Self-realization for us.

…I once identified “my” bliss with the technique and
(by extension with) the TMO too. I am not here to try to wean you
from your techniques; I know you need them as long as you need them….

…It is like parallax. We need at least two eyes
to perceive three dimensions; a number more don’t hurt to break us
free of subtle habits and stupidities. Don’t worry, I am only talking
to my Self here. *lol*

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…I have had virtually nothing but positive experiences from the TMO
and bear no ill-will towards it whatsoever,…

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…overall I am less thrilled with going out of my way for darshans than I used to be because I am lazy (no! no! I mean *efficient*) and prefer the inner instant-darshan method *lol* — no
muss, no fuss.

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…I do love connecting with old friends. Actually there is
at least a possibility we may be out in Fairfield this summer — are
you planning to attend Amma’s darshan there?

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“The Dalai Lama Speaks About the Conduct of a Teacher,” excerpted from
http://gnosticorderofchrist.net/writings/grapevine/dalaiteachers.htm

Dalai Lama: I normally recommend to Buddhist practitioners not to see
every action of their spiritual teacher as divine and noble. In all
of the Buddhist teachings, there are specific, very demanding
qualities that are required of a spiritual mentor. If one has a
teacher who is engaging in unsuitable or wrong behavior, it is
appropriate for the students to criticize that behavior.
It says very explicitly in the sutras, in the Buddha’s own teachings,
that in those aspects were the teacher’s behavior is wholesome, you
should follow in that teacher’s footsteps, but where it is
unwholesome, you should not. So when it is incompatible with the
wholesome, when it is incompatible with the Buddhist teachings, then
you don’t follow in the guru’s footsteps.
You don’t simply say, “It is good behavior because it is the guru’s.”
This is never done. It states explicitly in the sutras that if the
guru’s behavior is improper, you should identify it as being improper
and not follow it. It states explicitly that you should recognize the
unwholesome as being unwholesome, so one might infer that it is
worthwhile to criticize it. In one text of The Highest Yoga Tantra,
it explicitly mentions that any advice that your teacher gives you
that is unsuitable to your Buddhist way of life, your practice,
should not be followed.

Jean Shinoda Bolen: But everything you’ve said puts the
responsibility on the student, not on the one who is presumably more
enlightened.

Dalai Lama: The guru, the spiritual teacher, is responsible for his
or her improper behavior. It is the student’s responsibility not to
be drawn into it. The blame is on both. Partly it is because the
student is too obedient and devoted to the spiritual master, a kind
of blind acceptance of that person’s guidance. That always spoils the
person. But of course part of the blame lies on the spiritual master,
because he lacks the integrity that is necessary to be immune to that
kind of vulnerability.

[snip]

Jack Engler: Your Holiness, in the relationship of students and
teachers, where the teacher is abusing the student, dominating the
student in an improper way because of the teacher’s greater training,
presumably greater wisdom, greater position of power, if this happens
isn’t it really the teacher who is guilty, rather than saying it’s
the student’s fault because they were faithful too quickly? Do you
feel that the responsibility really lies chiefly with the student?
Dalai Lama: No, in that case, the responsibility does lie chiefly
with the teacher. When the person is supposed to be offering Dharma,
offering spiritual teaching, and he himself indulges in an action
that he has been preaching to others to avoid, then it’s disgraceful.
One can say that person has betrayed the task…

…Actually, I did edit it (as you could see by the snip) — and I
figured His Holiness the Dalai Lama might carry a little more weight
re “guru worship” than me, a mere nobody whom you could easily
(albeit perhaps incorrectly) write off as just another disaffected
ru. :-) Hope you got the point anyhow.

 
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I had never had a flavor of BC either, Marc, before knowing THAT.
Rather, it was precisely the experiences you describe — intermittent
(*not* permanent) experiences of CC, GC, and UC — that propelled me
to realize I was “none of the above,” and none of them served to
define me. From that it was a short step to dumping the whole TM7,
external criteria, etc. and deciding to insist on/surrender to only
that which I most desired in THAT moment: perfection. THAT, as best
as I can tell, is what precipitated so-called “BC” *lol* — the flip
into the “Great Immensity” as all that IS. Quite an intensely
comfortable shock. *lol*

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[Comment on : I thought Brahman was ageless.]
Pick any (or all or none) of the responses that appeal to you.

a) Who the heck told you THAT?

b) We don’t need no stinkin’ Brahman!

c) I may be in Brahman, but Brahman may not be me.

d) Thanks. I think I look pretty good, too.
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This was part of what led to my own “cognitive dissonance” around
MMY  while I was attending his Science and Veda Course in Delhi in
1980-81 — while on the one hand being flooded with his
extraordinarily powerful energy, I also heard MMY issue some quite
paranoid-sounding diatribes, accusing the CIA of having infiltrated
the course. I remember thinking, if we are so invincible, who really
cares if a few CIA are here too? Won’t they just become more evolved
too? But when one CP lost his/her badge, we ALL had to stand in line
for several hours while they issued every one a new badge! *lol*

That was just one “weird” episode of many. It took a while thereafter
to process all the cognitive dissonance that had built up, but like
Rick, I feel I too have grown by being stretched so much — by
admitting that MMY is obviously quite fallible and even flawed while
being equally obviously quite divine, my own unconditional love for
my own and everyone’s fallibility has grown accordingly. Like you,
OWB, I have come to value ambiguity and ambivalence.

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…(FWIW while on the Sidhis Prep Course I too had the most profoundly moving experience of celestial “Solar Angel” or “Higher-Self” mergence — which I had just undergone — flatly dismissed by the Sidhis Administrator who asked for any experiences we had had over the last day! She said “No! You couldn’t have had that! You’re not a Governor!” Can you believe it? *lol*)

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…it helps a lot if you don’t always process everything through
your own ego and past preconceptions, though I know firsthand it
can be supremely difficult to let all that go.

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…it seemed to be the intense focus — that resulted from taking responsibility for my own satisfaction/bliss/contentment (rather than relying on another’s criteria) — that precipitated the inquiry that resulted in the realization. Everyone’s path is different, though, and the only thing they may have in common is the end-realization that it is up to You,
in this moment, Now. (They may not even have this in common, Grace being what it is!) If you are indeed at the crossroads, you will probably be more and more attuned to what you most need to know/be/experience NOW; virtually everyone becomes your teacher; virtually every experience becomes another piece of the puzzle. I suspect it is essentially automatic or Divine Grace or whatever you wish to call it, accelerating quickly into infinity so long as you remain awake to your genuine tension-point/need/dissatisfaction in this moment.

…In the end, You are the one in charge of your own “discovery” of your Self, which is so all-embracing, so full of contradictions, that it is infinitely indescribable and unapproachable; neither the transcendent absolute, nor the relative, nor in truth some combination thereof, nor a denial thereof — it is simply not anything that came before, and yet it/you have always been (all that IS) — it cannot ever be reached, can only be “claimed” – or more accurately, can only BE. What is the consciousness/feeling/knowledge you most need/desire to be/know in THIS moment?

…This is very close to an understanding of “Brahman,”…. You encompass the whole scale, but decide to focus on/in one point thereof at a time…usually. *lol* Opening to, figuring out and claiming what that point truly IS for you NOW aligns you with and enlivens “Brahman,” the true knower/known. Enjoy the plunge! Once you get used to it, the water’s fine! *lol*

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…Frequent association with others who are on the same track
is really great too, if you are drawn to them. Meanwhile, if it
felt worthwhile, I might occasionally be asking myself, “What is
My nonchanging reality now, behind the shifting flux of my
various states of consciousness?” and then letting it go
(or something along those lines).

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…when we are willing to acknowledge that THIS IS IT, has to be it;
it is all there is; this is all perfect, I am enjoying my complete
perfection now — then BAM! The perception shifts to support that
understanding, because this is the thought/perception of Brahman
itself. Brahman is coming from contentment and perfection; we cannot
be it as long as we are looking for it. 

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…[People] have always been “there,” although of course from their
point of view they actually aren’t if they are still overlooking it
*lol* and oddly enough that disbelief is somehow sufficient to negate
or obscure Brahman — weird, but true.

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But these days it seems science itself cannot remain impersonal! We are told that even quantum mechanics imply that the observer affects the observed. How then can we passively rely on the observed (technique) to change the observer (Self) — ever asleep, ever waiting for Godot or that Deus ex Machina to someday bring Enlightenment? This keeps one bound to ignorance, dependence on not-Self. What are we doing to deserve Enlightenment? Awakening requires conscious release of Self-denial and (“good/bad”) judgement and comparison and choosing to love it all unconditionally, paying full attention to our feelings, our bodymind and our own inner Guru, our own consciousness, and the quality of our relationship to God and others at every moment. None of this will happen if we think we need only depend on an automatic technique.

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This is not to say that we will not have at some point experienced
(to whatever degree necessary) the traditional markers; I have only
been emphasizing that many of us may be thinking we are still
awaiting CC because of too-concrete reification of specific one-time
experiences and application of misapprehended external criteria, when
we may actually be consistently experiencing Unity (which can be
very, very subtle). Either way, if one has experienced CC, GC, and UC
to his/her satisfaction, one is almost certainly in a position to
move beyond them to the “primordial ignorance” of BC, where we are
naturally able to be/experience whatever we wish. Indeed, so long as
we are chained to external criteria, we are chained to ignorance,
overlooking THAT which IS and valuing the not-Self over the Self, the
not-Now over the Now. If in a given moment you don’t value the
results from a certain Sidhi, don’t really even want it, then don’t
be too surprised if you don’t get it. Be alert to what you do most
want, don’t believe the body-mind’s doubt that arises in response
(but do take the time to heal and integrate it), and your desires are
met very quickly indeed.

As far as external criteria, IMO they are only helpful if you still feel you need external confirmation, e.g still feel you are somewhere along the path. When you really awaken, it becomes supremely evident that you have always been awake, there never has been a path, and it is indeed laughably self-evident. But until we awaken, statements like this will make little or no sense at all. And that’s OK too.

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If anyone actually wants/needs more understanding and clarity, then I
am generally most happy to try to oblige them, if I can. If I am not
so moved, I can only assume that there is at that moment no genuine
desire on the other’s part, or else the required answer is not to
come through me but through some other vehicle or “channel,” or else
perhaps the silence itself is the best answer of all. Everything is
always subject to change at any moment, of course. *lol*

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…If you doubt you are enlightened, then by definition you are not.
When you have awakened, there is no doubt (though more work remains
to be done in the bodymind[s]). This is not to say that one may not
be self-deluded, I suppose. But for me “Brahman” awakening carried a “final” bottom-line certainty with it that was totally unlike anything that came before, no matter how exalted or exquisite or prolonged the “experiences” or SoC had been — because THAT awakening is not an experience; it is a meta-experience, or a pre-experience, that now also completely involves the whole sensorium. It is an a-priori Understanding that breaks the subtle a-posteriori hold of any “experience” for all time, while now completely merging it with the Self. You get a very strong feel for this a-priori quality in witnessing, but there was still for me the nagging “something unfinished” feeling that did not dissolve until the awakening of “Brahman.” That awakening also brought the realization of freedom from obligatory terrestrial rebirth, etc.,
but that is all icing on the cake. It is being Home again that really
counts. Of course much more (optional) “work” remained to be done, as
it always does!

………………………………………

I know I was going to meditate
anyhow, and keep with it until I got enlightened. That was the only
reason I started, and the only reason I stuck with it. I don’t
generally feel that lying is justifiable, and I suspect that MMY may
not originally have been lying, just over-optimistic. Or maybe
realistic, and we really are mostly all enlightened. :-)

………………………………………

…In my experience, first we awaken into
Brahman, and then (if the desire arises and persists) we choose to
experience levitation/ascension/immortality. This may well take a few
additional years of concentrated focus, learning, and refinement, not
to mention some additional years afterward to fully integrate and
ground.

………………………………………

Forgive me then, if I (like you) will continue to take my own
experience over another’s untested theory. My experience is that so
long as we hold the sidhis as a benchmark, we unnecessarily deny
ourselves of Brahman — and after awakening, the sidhis are
spontaneous fulfillments of need/desire, generally flowing out with
little or no conscious thought whatsoever, and virtually never the
result of “let’s see if I can do this.” ?”(With the exception of
simple things like knowing another’s field etc. which I don’t even
count as sidhis. But again, those are the result of spontanous
need/desire to be of service.)

The one time I hovered/dematerialized/rematerialized, it was not crosslegged on a mat in the Dome “hopping” around (after all, it had been 4 years since I had even practiced a TMO “Program”), but was the simple and immediate result of my wondering: “What would it feel like to be an Ascended Master?”

Had you the experience of hovering (dematerializing, etc.) before
awakening as Brahman, I would be most interested in hearing of it,
and would be open to revising my world-picture accordingly. Unlike
you, I do not care at all about peer-reviewed journals, but place a
lot of value on others’ experience as well as my own. There may well
be those who have apparently experienced levitation and
dematerialization etc. who may NOT have consciously comprehended
Brahman — some “abductees” for example — but until I speak with
them, I will stick with my own view, which is at least based on my
own experience.

………………………………………

The not-caring [about having a certain sidhi] indeed seems to be a significant part of it, as does also the subtle caring-very-much which presumably keeps one practicing the technique. (After awakening I had actually quit using the technique(s) as the pratice seemed to
lack integrity, and instead had embarked on an intensive personal course of inquiry and bodily refinement, because I still desired physical immortality and levitation very much.)

…I believe many of us did this sort of thing [float] a lot as children, but usually ended up (inaccurately) classifying the memories as “just dreams.” I always called them so anyway, until some “dream-memories” suddenly came back just as the four of us were about to levitate and dematerialize. Later I read one of Whitley Streiber’s books in Revelations (was it Communion? Or a later one?) wherein he described many kids having the exact-same experience — not “just a dream” after all.

…This would seem to be the perfect point to enliven what one really DOES want now, which (no matter how one phrased it)
would probably be Brahman. This may be done (paradoxically) by letting go of the concept of “enlightenment” itself and deciding to
live one’s ideal or perfect state now. And what would that be? What would that feel like? What body-mind objections arise to living THAT now?

…in one sense no one will be enlightened until all of us are.
But if we don’t start with ourselves, we will always be
saying, “After you, Alphonse!” “No, No, after YOU, Gaston!”
Thereafter we are in a much better position to quickly refine as well
as help others to heal and awaken too.

………………………………………

The thing is, Brahman realization only works if you claim it NOW, in spite of all and abundant apparent evidence to the contrary. By saying
it is *behind* the rest, we are still consenting to put it off until …not-NOW.

…for whatever reason, I find myself speaking of the immediacy of Brahman again and again here, even though I am not particularly concerned with Brahman right now personally. Perhaps that is a sign that I should be. *lol* I take it as a sign that someone is, at any rate, or I wouldn’t be saying it.

………………………………………

…it has to be understood and integrated. Without bodymind
integration it remains a pipe dream or an unrealized ideal. But I
(like to believe I) am talking to people who are actually in a
position to comprehend. And for them, being “honest” to one’s
external perception or SoC is actually a lie, as the perception/SoC
is an outflow of one’s current understanding, and thus essentially
supports the bodymind’s status quo. Change to or enliven a truer
understanding, and the bodymind wakes up (after some fierce
resistance sometimes), the phsyiology shifts, and the SoC changes to
support the new understanding. I believe we are creating this all the
time, anyhow, more or less unconsciously — I am just advocating that
(if it feels right to so so) we take responsibility for acknowledging
our highest truth, and allowing the bodymind the space to work that
out, support it, and play it out into our sensorium.

…There is a fine line between enlightenment and insanity, as there is between genius and insanity, and we tread it as closely as we must.
Again, I cannot speak to the final drama Robin [Carlson] apparently played out, but I was most impressed with what he did for me. His mind was
crystalline; his shakti-attention was powerfully liberating, and I am most grateful to him — albeit not slavishly worshipful. I am
guessing he saw what was going on (I had mentioned to his friend Peter M. that it appeared Robin was starting a cult, and Peter passed
this on to Robin, so maybe the seed was sown then), and had the good sense finally to stop it. Our growth does not cease after awakening,
as you know. (Does anyone know what he is doing now?)

………………………………………

[levitation experience] It is all covered in the autobiography, Part 6
I think (late 1986). In brief, there were four of us. We were standing
out on the E. Glasgow Rd. (outside Randy & Jane’s house), a little after
midnight in Nov. 1986, just after attending Joanna Cherry’s intro
lecture on Ascendension. I wondered what it would feel like to be an
Ascended Master. (Had experienced various forms of Ascension on the
subtle planes over the years.)

This is when 6 or 7 luminous discs came up from behind the trees and
three of them hovered over us, melding into triangle form and
separating again, pouring ecstatic Pleiadean “spirit-matter” into us
while appearing and disappearing (raising and lowering their
vibrations out of and into visibilty, and showing us we could do the
same). They felt like my own Higher Self, very comfortable and
inspiring. Our energies just got higher and higher and higher. That’s
when I recalled the “dream” I had had as a kid, and spoke it,
saying, “I think we can do this now!” So we held hands, danced in a
circle, and lifted off, as our bodies  disappeared into the star
field. Or so I interpreted it; the others experienced much the same
thing. Upon reassuming the physical form, we dropped about a foot or
two back to Earth, and I experienced some slight aches and pains in
my legs as “gravity waves” of lightness and heaviness continued to
alternate for awhile. We all were just laughing and laughing, in
total “drunken” clarity and unity.

We then ate breakfast (about two AM) at an all-night restaurant in
town near the theatre, and eventually went back to “my” house to
watch The Three Musketeers. During this time I underwent some
extremely profound sexual healing (ending around 6 AM), followed by 6
hours of unbelievably powerful divine sex in my room with the other
Pisces woman (becoming Shiva/Kartikkeya with Shakti), and felt
radiantly golden and immortal for about three days, until deciding
to “tone it down” and earth and ground more fully into a “normal”
physical body again. All I can say for sure is it completely
satisfied my age-old desire to levitate. I decided I wasn’t going
to “live” there until I had some more company. Even so it took many
years to integrate and ground this experience, only because it had
all actually been physical (so far as I could tell), not merely
subtle. Other experiences with “extradimensional” beings before and
afterwards were solely with the subtle bodies, and not at all
difficult to integrate.

However, I am wondering now if that wasn’t the equivalent of the
grace-touch we get at TM initiation, and (inspired by FFL) I feel it
is now time to explore all this again, this time more thoroughly
integrating all those aspects of myself. I am now ingesting monatomic
indium, rhodium, gold, etc. and accordingly steeping myself more and
more in the Universal light-fields.

As to booking agent and publicist, let’s wait until a number of us
are moved to do this (or something like it) again, OK? I think the
time may be getting close.

…at the time I was pretty constantly asking the others if they
were experiencing the same things I was; they always concurred. I
told Joanna Cherry of our experience later, and she cross-checked
with two of the others who ended up taking her course. She said they
recounted the same experience I had, although in less detail. In 1995
I briefly ran across one of the others and asked her what she now
thought of the whole thing; what she thought the disks were, etc. She
said she now thought they were the Aurora Borealis, and when I
responded, “but they seemed conscious, intelligent!” She
responded, “So is the Aurora Borealis,” or something along those
lines. I didn’t then have the time to go into this further with her.
I have only recently reconnected with Gene, but so far we have played
phone tag, and not had a chance to compare notes. To this day I do
not know if what we experienced was fully “physical;” but it was
totally unlike any subtle experiences I had had previously. And
again, when I started wondering, the disks sent a thought along the
lines of, “Do not even ask; the very question brings about division.
Remember, Spirit and Matter are One!”

………………………………………

Sometimes the process [of attaining enlightenment] seems quick, sometimes slow. Perhaps it might be worthwhile to consider what your deepest desire in this moment might be, and work from there: State the desire’s accomplishment as a fact,imagine how this might feel, and see what this might kick up for response(s) in the bodymind. Note the mental objections, and/or acknowledge the emotions and/or physical sensations —
whatever takes your attention most. If mental objections, listen and then ask yourself how God might respond to those objections. If emotional or physical, breathe into them, know that this too is OK to feel, is no barrier to God. When these objections are resolved and integrated, come back to the desire again: What is your deepest desire in this moment? How would it feel to have that desire fully accomplished? Any objections? And so on.

………………………………………

I had thought my childhood dreams of flying with others were only dreams, until I read Whitley Streiber’s account, which appeared to match my memories in then-convincing detail (which I do not at the moment recall, having read the book some 9 years ago) and was apparently experienced by a number of other children, who had also thought they were only dreams until unearthing ET participation (some of which I have also recalled). This group memory seemed to place the experience in some other category than a simple dream, which by definition is private, non-consensual. The only consensual experience we normally acknowledge is waking-state. These “shared dreams” appear to have been something other than dream or waking state, having qualities of both — a shared, consensual extradimensional experience.

………………………………………

…I believe the ministering extradimensionals (“Gods, angels, faeries, elves”) can and do indeed work on our subtle bodies….

………………………………………

…When I was a small kid, I usually used a rod held firmly crosswise
in both hands to fly… I am not sure about air currents; sometimes have
flapped, sometimes swooped, etc.

………………………………………

…I heard (from Mary Madden, I think, who I ran into in FF Library
in ’95) that Peter Mellody had become a devoted (and I think highly
respected) follower of another Guru, but I don’t recall if she said
which one. I remember him with great affection. Not sure what
happened to Mark Frost — did he go back to school? — and don’t
offhand remember Steve Oliver.

………………………………………

Gene Garfin, whom I highly recommend meeting if you ever get the
opportunity. He is a very accomplished musician, a (professional)
drummer, started TM back in the 60s, was an an excellent channeler,
and taught me the Tibetan overtone chant in FF in ’96, when we were
housemates. A very earthy, warm, funny, high guy.

………………………………………

A FFL reader has asked me to post these questions. (I am looking
forward to seeing some responses myself!)

Maharishi has said something like a ‘fully enlivened hypothalamus’ is
necessary for enlightenment.  How do your experiences relate to
the Hypothalamus, Thalamus, Pineal gland, and or Pituitary gland?

How do you think Serotonin, Melatonin, Dopamine, other
body-generated opiates, endorphins, enkephalins, etc. are involved
in the process of enlightenment?  Relationship to ‘Soma’?

………………………………………

I’ve tended to relate my experiences to the chakras rather than to
the specific glands they appear to correlate to, as most of the time
the chakras have been more obviously involved than the physical
glands have. While the third-eye (and some witnessing) started really
opening up just before I started TM, while reading the Upanishads,
and opened much more (and more consistently) in the first year of
meditating, it wasn’t until a few years later on TTC-1 that the full-
blown kundalini awoke, described in brief here:

http://www.artesmagicae.com/auto2.htm

(One thing I thought interesting was that while moving up through my body, the kundalini went directly through my neck to the crown of the head and out; not enlivening the third eye until it started back down the front of the body.) It became quite clear at this time that the very-highly-conscious subtle body is independent of and supports the physical body, not the other way around. Granted, consciousness plays through the physical body, but it is not in any deep sense at all dependent on it: this despite the previously-evident and more obvious dependency of our quality of consciousness on our physiology.

I am not too familiar with the actual glands, but many subtle
experiences are probably tied to them — being awake while asleep,
for example, may be an aspect of the enlivened hypothalamus. (Other
experiences, like the consciousness of the subtle-body dragon-self,
may well be related to activation of the limbic system.) I found
myself once able to stop my heart through a form of samyama I
stumbled onto before starting TM; this was probably via an
enlivenment of the thalamus or h-thalamus. Just recently, I have
noticed that the physical heartbeat is responding to “celestial”
impulses of light-matter, which may well in some way correspond to
electrical currents from the glands. It again became a simple matter
to temporarily blanket these impulses and stop the heart.

………………………………………

For me anyhow fear of death lost its primary power as soon as it
became clear consciousness was independent of the body; this was
around the time of the kundalini-awakening some years before the
fuller awakening of Brahman. However, subtle fear, comparison, etc.
still existed pervasively (mostly unconsciously) until Brahman
awakened. That was the awakening of much truer fearlessness
(including the loss of fear of spiritual “authority” and the “other”
in the certainty of Love and Freedom.) However, this bodymind did and
does still experience fear, as well as all the other emotions, from
time to time. It’s just not an all-pervasive tainting or obscuring of
the clarity, as it once was. It’s a litte like having a pet dog.
*lol* You take it out for walks, it experiences life boldly and
enthusiastically, but it knows it is on a short leash — within the
radius of THAT — and basically behaves itself. *lol* I mean the
bodymind no insult here; I have a lot of respect, love and admiration
for the innate wisdoms and heart and strength and consciousness of
our dog too.

………………………………………

Well, I just wanted to let you know that another cherished illusion has just blown away. I have no personal integrity, cannot be trusted to tell the truth or keep a promise. I found myself happily swearing wholeheartedly today I would not do something and the very next moment doing that very thing equally happily and wholeheartedly, having completely forgotten the previous moment. What is more, I have no remorse; I had utterly no memory or choice whatsover. I am just a complete and utter sock-puppet, a weathercock twirling with the wind.
This would appear to be complete personality disintegration, and I just can’t care. I actually feel great. I am getting more and more insight into MMY every day! I just hope I let go of any more judgements I unconsciously may have before I find myself automatically acting them out! *lol*

………………………………………

I have not taken the IAM course, but I did undergo full kundalini on TTC-1 in Livingston Manor in ’77. It is wonderful; nothing to be afraid of, as long as you don’t resist the process. … — the experience is relatively common, and apparently becoming more so. Check out John White’s “Kundalini, Evolution and Enlightenment.” …

………………………………………

…it’s most likely many flying dreams are “illusory” to some degree. I would once have said they *all* were, until a) experiencing certain fully-conscious Out-of-Body trips and also watching the dream-process of subtle-body “flying” while leaving and re-entering the physical body, and b) (much later) reading the previously mentioned book by Streiber (possibly “Communion,” possibly not) which specifically mentioned childhood group-flying and group ET or ED (Extradimensional) instruction. This book described other people’s experiencing some of the same phenomena I had, and made me rethink the nature of at least certain “dreams” — that some of them were not after all solipsistic, but shared something of the same consenus-criteria of waking state.

………………………………………

…I have found that a good deal of what I once labelled fantasy (or imagination) is in many ways as “real” as anything in the physical — and to my surprise has often been independently corroborated by others (often not TMers) as a reality they are familiar with as well. If we are insane, we are insane together *lol* — which may also be a good definition of waking state, come to think of it.

………………………………………

… it may well be that our vibration is actually quickening, so that what once seemed intangible or at best subtle is now becoming real, physical. That is how it seems anyhow.
………………………………………

…if one is contemplating conscious channeling (or even if one is not for that matter), it would probably be most
advisable also to clarify and cleanse one’s bodymind as much as possible of all judgement, blame, prejudice, etc. (using inquiry
methods like Byron Katie’s and/or rebirthing/affirmation techniques like Sondra Ray’s), as even the finest channeled material can get a
bit tainted by our preconceptions — as it does even in day-to-day living, when the perfect Self plays through the bodymind.

………………………………………

…the conscious chanelling itself does (or can do) much to cleanse the bodymind of many old perceptions and habits, as one more and more
fully learns from, resonates with, and identifies with the love- and wisdom-patterns of these marvelous higher aspects of one’s Self.

………………………………………

[Comment on: vibrational qualities rising, and meditating TMers having a profound influence on this] Yes, I would certainly agree with this
— at the very least as evidenced by own always-lovely “encounters” in and around Fairfield itself, for me pretty good evidence of the efficacy
of the “Maharishi Effect” *lol* — perhaps (or almost certainly) yet too subtle to measure on conventional yardsticks.

………………………………………

When we first met (she initiated a few of my family members), she introduced me to Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi.” While she was an extremely radiant, enthusiastic, inspiring and (generally) blissful Governor, I believe deepdown she probably always preferred
the “flavor” of Yogananda, and certainly more readily feels devotion to him. It appears the SRF is a more devotional group, overall, far more open about worshipping “God, Christ, and Guru.”

…she no longer considers herself a Governor, as far as I know. She has never expressed any ill-will toward the TMO or TM (that I ever heard), but she has completely “converted” to the SRF
and Kriya Yoga, and has expressed great satisfaction with both.
 
………………………………………

…It is interesting how many “Utopias” — from the Soviet Union to Jonestown to Rajneeshpuram — seemed to eventually implode from overemphasis on differentiating themselves from the larger community, becoming so monolithic and tyrannical as to become “stupid.”  Others, like the Shakers, somehow managed to survive and flourish for nearly two centuries, despite the obvious shortcoming of not allowing their members to procreate! But in every case, perhaps we cannot really call them failures, as they all contributed something to society as a whole — sometimes as an inspiration, sometimes only or mainly as a warning sign on what *not* to do. Failure is as useful as success in the learning process.

………………………………………

…Albeit not all of us hail from England (though many of my ancestors do), and my area of New England was first settled by relatively
secular fishermen, not by Puritans or Separatists,…

………………………………………

Yes, I do not know why MMY apparently said this [not to channel] — perhaps he was thinking of unconscious channeling, or full-trance mediumship, as was the vogue a century or so ago. I can see where this sort of mediumship could be perilous, as a) one had no control over who or what came through, necessitating a “control” or monitor, and b) one derived no conscious benefit from the contact, which indeed may actually have led to greater *dis*integration than integration. If however MMY was referring to conscious channeling, then all I can say is, from my experience he was dead wrong; I found it to accelerate my own growth immeasurably. (However, it probably doesn’t hurt to put up such a “warning” sign, because if one still believe someone else’s guidance more than one’s own, one may indeed be primarily fear-based and not be ready to channel. *lol*)

[Comment on: MMY saying channeling is a waste of time]…Again, I would heartily disagree that channeling was in any sense a “waste of time” — indeed, time was never better spent, IMO. :-) But then in no way do I consider my undergraduate experience at Harvard a “waste of time” either. *lol*
Each to his own, I guess.

…I did become acquainted with Susan Shumsky, but never
took her course, as I was already channeling by then.

…Yes, IMO channeling can certainly access the subconscious, as well as
the superconscious. With conscious channeling, though, we do have
control over what level we wish to access, more so with practice,
perhaps. When in doubt as to the energy-level we are accessing, we
can always retune ourselves “higher,” as given in my previous post.
OTOH, if I were accessing a satisfactory level of consciousness along
with the 10th mandala, I wouldn’t have worried, but just let it flow.
Sometimes a little “rust” comes out when we first prime the pump.
*lol*

………………………………………

…My first clear exposure to channeling was (I believe) from listening to a tape you had from Ron Scolastico, the energy of which so affected me that I set aside my TM-prejudices against channeling and went to Iowa City with you to get one from Ron Scolastico personally. Not long afterwards Carla Gordan taught that course in psychic healing and development in our apartment — which cleared out so much stuff that the guides showed up in meditation that evening. Wow.

………………………………………

 

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