2007 November

…While I generally feel very much at home in the company of Tom and
Peter and Jim — they often appear to understand me, and I them, in
ways you patently do not (not that there’s anything *wrong* with
that, of course! :-) ) — I can honestly make no claim to being
enlightened, or ignorant, or some combination of the two, or no
combination of the two.

Even a little genuine self-inquiry IME quickly reveals the “I” to be
not… not anything. Saying “I AM” is OK — barely –, but following
it with anything at all — even “enlightened” — borders on
blasphemy, on hubris, on taking the Name in vain, on identification.
(Again, not that there’s anything wrong with that…)

And yet, because “I” am … not, by the same token “I” contain it
all. There are “I”-particles in my field who are more enlightened
than I can imagine, and particles who — to put it gently — show a
lot of room for improvement, and need a lot of love *right now*.
That’s the way it’s always been, and that’s the way it’ll always be,
as far as I can see. :-)

I believe I have gone over this with you before, pointing out on
(several? many?) occasions that I am not “in Krishna Consciousness,”
or “in” any other state of consciousness — rather, they are all in
me. That’s all pretty basic, and simple, and self-evident, and
obvious, IMO.

But of course, this could not have escaped your crystalline
intellect, magnanimous heart, and brilliant recall, so I guess you’re
just twitting me…again…:-)

By the way, I think “complacent” comes from the Latin cum-placere, to
(be) please(d) with … I hopes this takes some of the sting out of
calling us-yourself complacent! :-)

*L*L*L* Always and All-ways

………………………………………

[Comment on:…blah blah blah]

Rory wrote:

blah blah blah

 

:-)

………………………………………

[Comment on quote comparison with Rory…”Oh, I don’t reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
~  Mahatma Ghandi]

“Was it something I said?”

— Rory Goff

:-)

…I suppose it might apply *if* I claimed to be a Christian, *and* if
you knew Christ personally (whatever that might mean), *and* if you
knew me personally, *and* were competent to compare and contrast us, none of which I am currently prepared to admit

:-)

………………………………………

It’s my understanding that the historical Jesus was essentially a
fictitious character (probably based on Apollonius of Tyana) created
by Josephus for the Flavians to counter the Messianic
Jewish “problem.” However, given the way things work out over time, I
think it’s a fair bet that both your understanding and mine are
probably almost completely wrong :-)

………………………………………

[Comment on:…Guru Dev and Christ share characteristics one would expect in an ‘enlightened’…]

“Characteristics” and “expect” being the operative words. In my
view, it appears as if you’re spinning out fairy tales and then
falling hopelessly in love with them. You and New seem to be much in
the same boat. New actually said (more or less) that he is looking
for “role models” to “pursue”! This left me so speechless — we have
such an apparent void of understanding between us — that all I could
say was blah blah blah, in hopes that this would convey the utter
impossibility of conveying the inconveyable. Apparently it failed —
what a surprise :-)

[Comment on:…in spite of the claims you make about yourselves…]

What claims are these, exactly? I readily admit that in the past I
have said here, “I am enlightened and so are you.” This was the
closest I could then come to conveying the inconveyable. Now, with
many thanks to Judy and Nagarjuna, I have come still closer: I am not
enlightened, nor ignorant, nor both, nor neither. In other
words, “leave me out of it!” :-)

…Many thanks for your post — it was easier to reply to than New’s,
which got so convoluted I had to surrender into blah blah blah :-:

………………………………………

…and if you can refrain from bringing up my name here, I can probably
refrain from boring you any further.

So long, and good luck with your pursuit of virtues!

………………………………………

…I have no issue with “pursuing a role model” if one allows
oneself to do it wholeheartedly and with total surrender HERE and NOW,….

It is the use of one’s “pursuit of virtues” to studiously avoid the
void while persuading oneself one is actually getting nearer
to “enlightenment” that strikes *me* as unspeakably paradoxical!

Here’s a fun quote I ran across after posting yesterday:

“There seem to be two kinds of searchers; those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, i.e., holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could maker a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being.” — We Wu Wei (Spiritual Warfare, by Jed McKenna, p. 190)

………………………………………

As for me, I’m enjoying the arrogance of the man who thinks he can
tell another’s state of consciousness without even knowing his own :-)

Please pass the popcorn!
 
………………………………………

(worth repeating, with minor course corrections)

…I have no issue with “pursuing a role model” if one
allows oneself actually *catch* the role model: to do it
wholeheartedly and with total surrender HERE and NOW

It is the use of one’s “pursuit of virtues” to studiously avoid the
void while persuading oneself one is actually getting nearer
to “enlightenment” that strikes *me* as unspeakably paradoxical!

Here’s a fun quote I ran across after posting yesterday:

“There seem to be two kinds of searchers; those who seek to make
their ego something other than it is, i.e., holy, happy, unselfish
(as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand
that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that
there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify
themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming
aware of their eternal identity with pure being.” — We Wu Wei

(Spiritual Warfare, by Jed  McKenna, p. 190)

  *L*L*L*
 
………………………………………

Yes, and?

I cheerfully accept all the ass-holiness, arrogant condescension,
ignorance, and any other traits you wish to ascribe to me.

So now what?

Please pass the poison, it’s delicious!

………………………………………

Maybe you should ask Wei Wu Wei or Jed McKenna, since I am not a self-proclaimed ‘enlightened’ guy, just an arrogant condescending asshole :-)

………………………………………

Sure, if you like. An arrogant, assholey, condescending, ignorant,
masturbatory, lame comedian.

Got any more? :-)

Arrogant, assholey, condescending, ignorant, masturbatory,
supremely UGLY lame comedian.

Got any more?

We can keep this up forever if you like, or until we run out of posts
at any rate :-)

………………………………………

I categorically and emphatically deny that I am any more ‘enlightened’
than I am ‘ignorant’. Both, and/or neither, or you’re taking the Name
in vain.

…I *do* take delight in the scene; you’re absolutely right.

And I am mocking you; you’re right about that too.

And yes, it’s because you apparently think you’re going to
get ‘enlightened’ by pursuing and trying to identify with values and
standards.

But you are right, I have nothing of value to offer you, unless you are
willing to admit that after 40 years of study you know absolutely
nothing of value, and are no closer to your goal than when you began.

:-)
 
………………………………………

Actually, I am wondering if you read my website very closely. I made no such claim.

I *did* say that a lot of images and emotions floated up, which I
tentatively identified as “past-life memories,” and which I eventually
identified as Herman Goering’s, not Martin Bormann’s. At the time, I
found this useful for making sense of emotional patterns I was then
entangled in: moving through judgement, projection, disempowerment and anger, learning to embrace my (and everyone’s) innate capacity for evil, and to move from there into unconditional love.

I am not prepared to say that I *was* Herman Goering, or anyone else for that matter, although I am prepared to say Herman Goering *is* a part of me, as is everything and everyone else.

This feels indescribable because it’s a priori, but utterly loving-
radiant-ecstatic if I choose to externalize and put my attention on it;
thanks for asking :-)

………………………………………

a) I do see a difference between Bormann and Goering, and

b) I also said I didn’t know if I “was” Goering, but found
the “memories” useful. I still stand by that.

I have no objections to “being” Goering, or Hitler, or anyone else,
you understand — I am just trying to be clear about the actual
experience and its possible ramifications.

I have generally found one can access whatever one wishes in the
universe, to the degree one needs, by remembering it is all oneself,
and by simply “being” it — “know by being” — which doesn’t mean one
personally “was” or “is” the entity from a transmigratory standpoint.
Many if not all so-called “past-life” or “future-life” memories are
equally viewable as a kind of multisensory movie.

In the end it is moot, I suppose, as one can learn from and heal from
the experiences whether they are personally one’s own or not. That’s
the great thing about stories — we make them our own, and derive
entertainment and meaning from them.

“Claiming” past-lives as one’s own however can have significant
egoic/delusional pitfalls, particularly if one is tapping into
someone famous, and as a rule I definitely don’t recommend any sort
of entertainment as an addictive avoidance of one’s a priori
emptifulness, or one’s unattended pain, though perhaps at times that
is unavoidable :-)

………………………………………

The bottom line as I see it is, all of these conjectures [past lives] still entail identifying with a self that believes itself to be *within* spacetime — if anything, adding to, embellishing that story.

Hence, we might argue, essentially a waste of time, if one thinks any
of this will actually free one from the pain of false-identification :-)

………………………………………

IMO and IME, hell *is* the hotline to wisdom

:-)

………………………………………

Perhaps he meant it was spin in that I didn’t directly answer the
question of what if felt like at the time the memories came up
to “be” Herman Goering — as opposed to how it feels now, which is
what I answered.

I believe I covered most of those emotions pretty thoroughly in the
website. IIRC they included relentless cheerfulness, greed and
poverty-consciousness, intense anger, feeling utterly betrayed for
following a false (and crazy) but highly charismatic Messiah, feeling
the exhausting brunt of contempt and scorn from head-to-head
confrontations with (the woman who appeared to be the reincarnation
of) “Rommel”, love of (the woman who appeared to be) “Karin”, and so
on and so on. All extremely intense at the time, almost a dream now,
25 years later. All of this arose in the year before “dying into the
emptiful void” and were resolved in the 2-3 years following —
something like a purgatory, I guess.

Practically nothing compared with the monstrously arrogant, know-it-
all, self-appointed-lord-of-the-universe, radiant Brahma-ego I have
been eyeball-to-eyeball with and wrestling for the past two years,
that’s for sure :-)

*lol*

 

:-)
 
………………………………………

It isn’t where my head is at now, but I respect where it was then. Perhaps you missed my later post addressing some of those emotions etc.

…The indescribable externalizing into love-radiance-ecstacy *is* how it generally looks now. That is not to say I have not been working on
other ego-issues, as I’ve also mentioned in another recent post. As
far as I can tell, the work never ends :-)

………………………………………

And I have been describing the understanding of the unconditioned I
with the simultaneity of spacetime as my projected bodymind — of the
necessary balance in bind-identifying with none while upholding all — as clearly as I can. I apologize if it sounds smarmy or naive or
sentimentally Barneyesque to you; that’s certainly not the predominating flavor on this end :-)

………………………………………

(I am speaking of all the “worlds” present in our bodymind, here and now.)

There is no escaping the facing of one’s demons if one is to gain
freedom, as far as I can see :-)

………………………………………

[Comment on:…Can you learn cosmic knowledge from anyone?]

Why not? I took it from a “robot repeating the knowledge by rote” :-)

…Sure, a crashing boar even :-)

Seriously, I’ll take it wherever I can get it — a rock, a drunk, a
dog, an angel, a demon — it’s all the same, with different “spins”.

And FWIW I am now far more an ordinary man on the street than I ever was before, though I have a good deal of “specialness” to dissolve yet, particularly in this medium :-)

………………………………………

At this moment, it [the-next-step] appears to simply be more of the same — healing and integrating (or dissolving), healing and integrating (or dissolving), becoming more and more less and less, if that makes any sense.

No-i-tu Love = Evolution

………………………………………

Yes, I actually didn’t even know how deeply I was enmired in a subtle
miasmic fear of *everyone* until I “died/awoke” and noticed for the
first time its *absence*!

Go figure!

*lol*

………………………………………

It’s pretty easy for most to do so, I think; all we have to do is let
go (at least temporarily) of the belief in the limiting power of
spacetime, and trust the subtle body-messages we get. May not be sight; may be any sense or “knowing.”

I did a lot of work (well, a lot of work by *my* standards, which have
always been pretty slack) with the dead shortly after “waking/dying.”
At that time, I was also doing a lot of “channeling” of the Love/Bliss
of my “higher selves” and on some subtle planes our apartment had a
huge column of light standing in it, which seemed to attract quite a
few confused souls from a number of different time periods.

The work mostly consisted of giving them loving attention, telling them
they were healed and forgiven, one with their Light, and showing them
where the Light is. As they move into it there is often a palpable
lightening of the atmosphere, an infusion of sparkle, like ginger-ale.
I also used to communicate with them for the bereaved for some years
afterwards.

I can’t say that work has presented itself to me much at all in the
last decade or so.

…I can’t really say I have never met an ordinary person, or an
extraordinary one! (Plus, every person is actually a hierarchical group-
mind of countless billions of selves, and every person is a particle of “Us”.)

(And as they are all particles of “Us,” when we give them our
attention, they are immediately bathed in that Light, and usually
realize their innate and ecstatic non-existence as “Us”.)

…Many are actually “asleep” for several days after “death”, and many more are “in hospital” for some time after that. Others go directly into the Light/Bliss/Love, or whatever “mansion” they most desire/need. Some go through *gut-wrenching, heart-breaking* remorse immediately after dying, sometimes for what seem to me to be relatively minor refractions. Others get swept up immediately into a giant angel. And so on…

and realize there’s Spiritual work to do,…

That [watching NFL and drinking beer] too can be and actually is “spiritual” work :-) Sometimes a lifetime or two “off” getting drunk is just what the doctor ordered!

…No matter what their conscious attitudes, “We” are enjoying them,
learning from them, growing from them, and so their lives are all
equally “spiritual” to “Us.” If they wish to join “Us” in their
appreciation of themselves, that’s good too — their choice!

And again, from the simplest, truest POV I am aware of in this moment,
we are actually only describing particles of the “Us”, here and now.

Many thanks matrix — fun questions!

*L*L*L*

………………………………………

For me, something is “not OK” *in myself* when I realize it is an
addiction trying to distract me from the emptiful “void” or from some
pain I have not yet attended to. As soon as I can bring myself to
fully attend to it, I do, and it dissolves as the illusion it always
actually was.

This process is not as easy as it may sound. It takes a great deal of
courage to attend to those horrific parts of ourselves we’d rather
project onto (and condemn self-righteously) in someone else. In
truth, as I see it, there *is* no one else. The buck stops here. If I
abdicate my responsibility for upholding the whole thing, I place
myself in a disempowered victim role, and the price I pay for
projection isn’t worth the small pleasure of judgement.

(This is not to say I don’t *heartily* enjoy the role of creature as
well as creator; if anything, being a creature is even better than
being a creator, for being a creator is one’s ordinary self, and
being an inifinitesimal creature one can fully appreciate the
infinitely “immense” or “divine” qualities of oneself as creator.
However, I never fully knew that until I allowed myself to be the
creator, to uphold all of creation as myself.)

As for what appears to be others, or those who hold themselves to be
different from me, I do my best to work as quickly as possible back
to unconditional love, realizing with gratitude they are showing me
my own demons. Holding grudges, holding judgements, etc., only hurts
my own physiology, causing blocks to my energy-flow and creating
dis-ease and eventually disease. Again, I must emphasize that this
process this *has no bearing* on what my actual behavior (which is
automatic anyhow) toward them in realtime may or may not be. It does not mean if I see someone committing a “wrong” that I won’t act to stop it. Nor does it guarantee that I will. My actions do not always correspond with what conventional morality would dictate.

…If a person is a serial rapist or a methamphetamine salesman, then evidently the doctor *has* ordered that up, to this point anyway.

This is completely incomprehensible to the small self, I know. I
would have reacted to the above statement with righteous outrage before I “died.”

One doesn’t get this until one learns the full-fillment of surrender
to the perfection that IS. It is not and will never be fully
comprehended by the rational mind, or the intellect, because the
intellect’s function is dualistic and distinguishing: hence, cruder
and more relative than the Self appreciating and surrendering into
the Self, which is what we’re talking about here.

…we’re not talking about logic here. Logic is essentually dualist; it cannot comprehend the paradox of Being. Love
it all (and be it all) or truly love none of it (and think oneself
apart), that’s about as close as my logic can come to describing the
immensity and our logical tendencies towards rejection of That and
the subsequent ignorance we cascade into :-)

:-)
 
………………………………………

[Comment on:…Buckboard Annies]

God, I loved that place! I lived right across the square, above the
barber shop on the NE corner, and used to go there pretty often :-)

*lol*

………………………………………

For some reason, most people I talk to *do* seem to be interested in
what I say; maybe because of the relentless enthusiasm of my usual
persona, or maybe they’re only being polite to a “crashing bore” and
I can’t even read their body language; who knows?

It was a rock who first showed me the intense ecstacy of being
densely physical — the more apparently dense, the more intense the
bliss, showing me another layer of the “spirit-and-matter-are-one”
lesson — and another who showed me something of how *they* perceive Being in time. Another showed me how *s/he* too is a devotee of the Self. I don’t consciously commune with them all that often.
 
………………………………………

Some of my most profoundly moving and awakening experiences have
occurred after reminding myself of the illusion of spacetime, and that
it is all here now, followed by encounters with some of our “space-cousins.”

Not too long ago, for example, after remembering that my body contains all the stars, my attention was drawn to one in particular, and so I went there. Because the stars are all in my body, I knew the world seemed a little “troubled” but that I could go there in “Authority”, as an ambassador or emissary of the will of my Love. As I shrank in size or narrowed my awareness to approach a planet, it showed up startlingly bright, mottled turquoise and russet — less water than ours, smaller oceans and more evenly distributed. I realized this was a “real” or physical world, even to our ordinary sight, and asked its Earth-name so I could research it later. It said, “Ras…Tanni”. That didn’t sound familiar, but I made a mental note.

To my slight surprise I was drawn to an actual building; it was a
pyramid of huge stones rather loosely fitted. I dropped through the top into a chamber inside, where two biped beings stood. They were pale, tall, and shining slightly and it was a little difficult to see phsyical detail, but they looked vaguely saurian, reptilian. I greeted them slightly cautiously but in wholehearted Love-Will and showed them my concern that their system align itself with the greater good in my star-body. They readily and respectfully agreed.

This was rather a profound shift for me. After I returned to and
refocused on my “default” setting here, I went to the star dictionary
and found to my suprise there *was* something like Ras…Tanni. Ras al-Tanni is a star in the Draco (Dragon) system, some say alpha Draconis, which I seemed to remember was a star some of the Egyptian pyramids were oriented to.

I further noticed that after my encounter with the Saurians or Dracos,
my DNA had further shifted, and still another old fear-program had
dissolved.

This is but one of the latest of a number of “enlightening” and heart-breakingly fulfilling encounters with various of our multidimensional cousins, all particles of our Self.

Now, what your post brought up in me, Angela, is this question: I have
often vaguely wondered — given how immensely fulfilling this all is,
why don’t I do this on a more frequent basis? I know that I could if I
wanted to, but I simply don’t want to.

This is one of the oddest things I’ve noticed about “life after death” – – how progressively more difficult it is to summon desire, even for
things that are at the time riproaringly fun and heartbreakingly
satisfying.

As I write this, I realize this may be what some seers have meant when they’ve said it is difficult to progress as rapidly through the subtler realms after death, as one just becomes too content with where one is to keep moving.

Oddly, my “higher selves” said something similar immediately
upon “dying” — they conveyed that I was completely free (this much was obvious and self-evident), but was actually half done (also pretty evident), had balanced 50% of my karma, and would no longer be required to incarnate on earth (putting the concepts in crude terms the remnants of my linear mind could get, I now see)–but that I would continue to die and be reborn on subtler and subtler planes as more and more of my karma was resolved. They said I was free to go ahead and do that now, if I wished, but if I physically stayed on earth, my progress through these planes would be much faster. Of course, I “chose” to stay. There really was no choice, as was clear enough even then :-)

I do know immediately after “dying” I felt immensely grateful to be
shown that there was more than the all-the-same-ness of ALL-That-Is;
there was always a tiny bliss-point of desire-now somewhere in the body which showed where there was more to be attended to.

It’s kind of funny, now that I think of it: the word “desire” comes
from the Latin, something like “de-sidere”, of the stars (as can also
be seen in our term, “sidereal”).

Wow. Just now, for the first time, I *fully get* that etymology! A star
is a bliss-point of my desire….

HA! :-)
 
………………………………………

I love Shakespeare, in very small doses — have written several plays
with his inspiration.

Though I know nothing at all, for certain, I absolutely love
understanding him in the light of his having been Oxford — allows me
to understand *why* and *how* he wrote much of what he did…
 
………………………………………

I have to say, the one Raja I have had the pleasure to meet — Raja
Roger at the Raj — impressed me deeply with the rosy unconditional
Love of his Heart-field. We could not stop pranaaming to each other
*lol*–

Love Loves Love :-)

………………………………………

The great thing about Fairfield for me, is it generally represents
the best of both worlds — a kind of paradise (in the original sense
of “enclosed garden” as well as “other world[s]”)-in-transition,
where there are a multitude of kindred souls in a conducive
atmosphere *and* a semblance of ordinary life for those who want it.

…understanding evolution as *less and less* as much as *more
and more* has been an interesting twist. I saw a bumper sticker
recently that said, “To have more, desire less.” I thought at the
time that would be rather difficult; it seemed easier to desire
nothing and have everything, but upon reconsideration the original
message makes a lot more sense now :-)

I have never been especially sold on the 1% hypothesis, or for that
matter south-door phobias or any of that — though I am certainly
open to the possibility of phase shift, have seen it happen often
enough that as I shift my whole universe shifts; and investigating my
resistance to the south-entrance dogma unfolded vast new
understandings of Shiva Dakshinamurti, “higher-lower” or “future-
past” selves and “ascension” — but I do have to say I am newly
impressed and grateful beyond all imagining with the Domes (not that
I have been pulled to physically go there for more than 2 weeks, a
year ago, but they most definitely *are* my “particle accelerators”),
and with what MMY, my deeper Self, has created for me to enjoy here.
It’s been more emptifulfilling than I ever could have dreamed :-)

………………………………………

UAU, this is wild! I just realized that this whole phenomenon was
essentially the “flip-side” of some much earlier experiences ocurring
maybe a year after “dying” — when I wondered in meditation what it
would be like to fuse the three primary Theosophical “Rays” of  Will,
Love, and Intelligence, and immediately found myself inside a pyramid
facing a column of fire with some trepidation: I realized I was
expected to enter the fire, and that when I did, it would change my
DNA. After some hesitation, I stepped into it, and was instantly in
no-time-space, pulled up through the top of the pyramid into a portal
vibrating OMMMMM so loudly it appeared to shake the whole universe; I
was informed this particular frequency was my “soul-note.”

The next day I repeated the inquiry and found myself going through
the whole process again, this time going *through* the portal and
into a Council of Masters — 12, around a central One with whom I
instinctively identified.

After that I saw how we all create world-events from this level,
through conscious or unconscious collective deep-sleeping/dreaming
and there deciding to “incarnate” or “dramatize” these events to
express specific feeling-messages from our Master-selves.

(I later realized that fusing the three “Rays” fused the Trimurti or
the 3 gunas, of which the OM or A-U-M is the collective result, and
still later found Freemasonic resonances of this experience in their
Initiation of Raising one to be a Master, where the three “ruffians” –
– JubelA, JubelO, and JubelUM — each possess a part of the Truth,
which needs to be reunited — AOUM –.)

So here we have the “recently-dead” me of 1983, entering the pyramid
to encounter and surrender up, essentially, into the radiant-fire of
the “now-me” who has entered down into the pyramid as an Ambassador of Love in 2005 or therabouts, all to change our reptilian DNA, all in “Egypt” or its direct counterpart, “Ras-al-Tanni or alpha Draconis” or whatever. *lol*

This sort of thing has been happening a lot lately — the monstrously-
arrogant fiery Brahma-ego *finally* became at least partially
digested when I found myself acting out and *understanding* some
behavior I had *detested* in MMY — his apparent favoritism towards
certain students, apparently handing them his mantle: why not *I*,
who was *certainly* at *least* as qualified and deserving as they??

*rofl*

*Now* I fully get it. It *wasn’t his choice,* any more than it is
mine. My love and appreciation and at-home-ness flows most sweetly
and fully to those who surrender most fully to me, to themSelf. It’s
not a matter of choice; it’s a matter of heart; it simply IS. I had
not yet fully surrendered to MMY; how could I expect to receive more
grace than I got? It’s automatic! Now I see both sides of
this “Master-Disciple” dance.

This was what I was getting in the Domes too, last year — how
my “Raam-Raj” or ordinary MMY-Self with the simplest of thoughts
arranges all these experiences for my particle-Selves to perceive and
enjoy and learn from and harmonize with, thereby increasing my
physical integrity and shifting my world into more and more of an
intensely manifest paradise.

More and more, I see, it is a meeting, merging, wrapping up and
fusing of all those parts of myself, past and future, “lower”
and “higher”, who appeared to be stretched out over my personal
spacetime…bringing more and more of them into Here and Now.

And despite how all of this vaporing blather may sound, more and more completely and emptifulfillingly simple and ordinary :-)

Thanks for listening, you ME(s). I feel as if I learned something of value today, and it’s all your fault :-)

………………………………………

*lol* As a past dealer in used and antiquarian books, I was wont to
consign book-highlighters to the seventh circle of hell, right down
there with aluminum-siding salesmen (thank you, Woody Allen) :-)

………………………………………

I can’t tell you how he [Raja Roger] appears to “others”; only to me :-)

………………………………………

For me, the contents of the drama *have no bearing* on my appreciation of the actor; I don’t generally judge someone by how they “act” or, even less, by how others perceive them to be acting. I judge them only by how much they Love “Me”, how at home we are together in this moment.
My love is unconditioned by action, by the gunas; it’s unconditional love. Its only condition is ItSelf.

Selfish? You bet. :-)

Deal!

*lol*

………………………………………

…these stories are just that — stories. Experiences and memories; no more, no less. They tend to stay pretty much the same over the decades, though I suspect with some memory-degradation over time.

If you really care, you can see for yourself re the stories up to 1990 or so if you read the autobiography on artesmagicae.com. I wrote most of that in 1997, IIRC, ten years ago.

………………………………………

That said, I *do* appreciate the opportunity to (re)write this old
stuff here, because in talking to myself “out loud” here, as it were,
new connections happen, as they did today — allowing me to appreciate the old “rubbish” in a brand new light, making a new kaleidoscope pattern out of random bits of colored glass.

:-)

………………………………………

*You* run this planet, Angela, like all of “Us”

IMO and IME when we cut ourself off from that understanding, we’re
selling indescribabele Love for a minor rush of self-righteousness,
fear, whatever.

:-)

………………………………………

It’s really not describable as celestial or mundane, day to day,
Steve. If I tried to describe it as either this or that, exclusively “special” or “ordinary” in any given moment I would be lying: making up a false story, indulging in unnecessary duality. It’s none of the above, and simultaneously all of the above.

It truly just IS; “we” just Is. I do the things that present
themselves to me to do, in the time they want to be done. We flow.
The universe and I are in love, surrendered, merged, in constant
intercourse, and generally growing more trusting and loving of each
other and accommodating on a pretty regular curve. But it’s also
quite simple and ordinary.

Other than what I am doing right now, I generally haven’t a real clue
what is going to physically present itself in the next moment. It’s a
lot like (what I imagine as) senility in some ways.

If you’re interested in the nitty-gritty of the dream-drama, my wife
and I currently have a great Victorian house in Fairfield, are
selling the one in Maine, and we are working on a couple of books
(histories of Fairfield, though I may get around to reworking and
updating the autobiography and publishing it someday. The time seems to be getting riper for that, in my own understanding of the symmetry of the themes that have unfolded. My thanks to you guys on FFL for much of that.)

I find myself in the Library for a couple-three hours most days,doing
what I’ve always enjoyed — reading really old newspapers, taking
notes and doing genealogy for the books. I often hang out in
Revelations for a few hours a day chatting with my old and new
friends. That’s an unexpected delight Life has shown us these past
few years. We take trips every so often around the country, mostly to
do research and explore.

…Hah! Thanks. I do the best I can. It’s damned difficult to present
this stuff as honestly as possible, communicating the beauty and
impact *without* also implying the false glamour which people tend to
ascribe to it. I fear I am as yet unable to honestly and clearly
convey either the tangible ordinariness of the “celestial” or the
divine immensity of the simply ordinary, both poles being always
freely available.

…Sweet! Many thanks; it’s a real pleasure to be here right now.
Very good to connect with you, too, Steve. I think I get where you’re
coming from; if I hadn’t experienced this “rubbish” I probably
wouldn’t believe it myself. But FWIW it is actual experience, though
that too is not other than poetry.

You’re right about me; for a good many years, like many TMers I
wanted to get up and out, away from the painful mundane, and
experience the divine, celestial, cosmic, whatever. Fortunately or
unfortunately, I had a “physiology” (as we used to say) that somewhat pandered to that “flashy” addiction. I was indeed pretty ungrounded then, though still going to college and grad school, holding down jobs, getting married, all that regular stuff.

The root of that up-and-out impulse pretty much “died” along with
everything else when I finally accepted to my great relief/chagrin
that I am, it IS, and always had been, what I had been looking for
all along, and my task now was to pull a U-turn and actually start
living life here, now, *down in* the physical body, integrating all
that other stuff with life on earth, to revivify the “dead man
walking.”

No experiences “out there” in the subtle worlds, no matter how
celestial and enticing, and no “states of consciousness” could ever
again entrance me as they (and the pursuit of them) had all done
before, for I saw now that they are all temporary, all subject to
spacetime, all reflections “out there” of extremely subtle thoughts
or moods “in here”. They are not the source of our satisfaction; they
are the mask of it (if we don’t know the emptiful void) or the result
of it (if we’ve made our peace with and surrendered into “Us”.

(Even though the root-cause of all addiction — my identification
with a small “I” — was here exposed to the great destruction, all my
petty character-qualities, habits, flaws, addictions, etc. have
pretty much limped along automatically on their own almost as they
did before, winding down gradually only as they come to my attention
to be separated, attended to, and integrated-dissolved specifically.
However, that process is at least actually perceivable and feasible
now, where it was inconceivable and unfeasible before.)

So, it’s kind of a joke in a way — now *all* experience is, and
all “states of consciousness” are (and always have been)
evanescent “mood-making” — but not as a *denial* of what is, as I
used to define mood-making, but as an *expression* of what is:
a “bhava,” an extremely simple and extemely ordinarily subtle mood
of “Us” which is then expressed as experience.

This can be ecstatic and/or horrific, of course, mundane
and/or “celestial” — the content or labelling doesn’t really matter
much at all, except inso far as we gain wisdom & insight as we
arrange and string the glass beads, or at least perceive a pretty
pattern in the beads, if we so wish.

The more I relax and allow it all to BE, the more lovely and
integrated a “face” it all reflects back. But basically, my life is
almost describable as it has always been: still quite mundane,
punctuated by moments of epiphany. The only difference is, it is now
always basically all the same; it’s all always, all-ways only “Us”.
There’s a basic contentment in that that I somehow overlooked when
still trying to BE someone or something and NOT everything else … a
hopeless task!

Sorry this is so darned long; I don’t appear to have the time to make it shorter :-)

………………………………………

*lol* I love you too! Many thanks for BE-ing.

………………………………………

I used to delight in seeing and saying “Brahman is slippery!” but I don’t so much like the flip-side, being labelled as “slippery” or “hard to pin down,” because that too is another label, and the knower is prior to all labels, all descriptors, and there we go again with yet another descriptor. I *love* to imagine myself understandable and understood, but only the heart can really do that.

Tom T. told me recently that Sri Sri What’s-his-name (no disrespect or
respect intended; his name is “slippery” at the moment) said, “I lie
all day and lie in bliss all night.” That’s pretty close *lol*

………………………………………

There’s a fun question, Jim. Damned if I know. *lol* I want to say
Yes and No (big surprise, there, huh!). Let’s see… What do I know…

First off, I don’t experience the senses in exactly the same way as I
(sort of) remember I did before “death.” In the most intimate sense
they don’t run me; I run them (on cruise control), or better yet we
dance together; so whatever is actually perceived is immaterial, is
just Us: Unity or separation, they’re both absolutely OK; it’s just
the particle/field, or creator/creature dance. But even as I write
this, I am in error, because there never is an actual commitment to
separation or unity as there always had apparently been prior. It’s
all just a matter of degree now, a kind of rheostat of intensity, not
an on-off switch; there is no on or off.

That is, on the one hand, the movie runs on as always, but it’s just
a frickin’ movie! I mean, I can get thoroughly engrossed in it,
identify wholeheartedly with the actor(s), and/or I can appreciate
and participate in the musical score, the staging and blocking and
chemistry and timing of the actors, the scintillating or dumb
dialogue, the various tragicomic plot devices, the director’s
empathy, the producers’ influence, the special interests placing
their products, the camera-shots and editing, and so on. But it’s
always a movie that we’re all playing with(in). The seamlessness
or “unity” runs deeper than the senses, or the moods, or any of that.

If I can put my attention there as a desideratum (star-point-desire),
yeah, there’s either unity or something that probably needs my
attention to be dissolved into unity. If I don’t put my attention
there (and I usually don’t), then who knows, and who cares? Who can
say?

I think it may be important now that a number of us (within the
movie) wake up at least enough to give ourselves permission to feel
and know our star-body, to the multiplicity of worlds within us, to
realize that our consciousness determines our ability to meet and
interact tangibly with our “space-cousins” and “time-cousins”,
because it looks as if the time has finally come (within the movie)
for Earth to come out of quarantine and join her intergalactic
family. This should be a lot of fun, and I mean a LOT of fun :-)

*L*L*L*
 
………………………………………

I wanted to come back to this for a moment, Steve — how could we “sense much authenticity” if we didn’t in some manner already know the truth?

IMO you “sense much authenticity” because you know me; you remember where I’m coming from and you and I resonate; in a sense you’re aware of a “place” where there is only one of Us :-)

…”It’s only a movie…it’s only a movie…” :-)
 
………………………………………

Yes, and Steven Greer’s story (which sounds like a good one) is
there are also pysch-ops involving faked ET’s to *create* terror,
support yet more industrial-militarization and loss of liberties,
etc. Could well be. That’s why (like Steven) I’d like to emphasize
the consciousness-attunement part of Contact. Harder to get fooled or
misled in any meaningful way when we are primarily perceiving from
the heart rather than merely through the senses.

…if we are doing concentrated “Raam-raj” particle (desideratum) work — if we are giving the particles Love, Beauty, etc., then when we collapse into the particulate perception it can be *overwhelmingly* Love, Beauty, etc., through the senses. But that seems to be the theme for me these days — learning to take more responsibility for the subtle, ordinary thoughts that *create* the experiences that “just happened” to us when we were locked in particle-I mode (i.e., before “dying”).

We apparently tend to repeat an experience only until we “get it,”
though, and after that there’s really no need; we’ve distilled the
wisdom we were trying to show ourselves.

[Comment on:…you are having a great time in Fairfield]…If pressed, I could probably tell myself a pretty honest story to that effect, yes :-)

(Thanks for posting your music, that was impressive!)

………………………………………

If you are perceiving me through your consciousness, then I think it is
probably *your consciousness* that has the “more of the living
technicolor,” no? Do you not contain what you perceive as me, and
infinitely more?

:-)

………………………………………

How do you define objective…? I have always been deeply
impressed, shifted, healed, lovestruck and/or bliss-struck in meeting
our counterparts; that in itself has generally been objective enough
for me, as I’m kind of an introvert.

Once around 1984 when playing/working with a “Council of Masters” to manifest the “divine will” into earth, we once had the desire to manifest our love-awareness visibly and watched as our consciousness appeared as “UFOs” to an airliner; IIRC that one was reported in realtime a few days later.

Similarly, I have once also encountered apparently intelligent and
definitely enlightening softly-radiant disk-shaped manifestations
of “Us” which the three people (all channels, FWIW) with me also saw
visibly and experienced directly over our heads, and in the same
manner, as they interacted with us over a period of several hours (I
think), and appeared immediately after we had attended an intro on
Ascension, and while standing around, we had just asked ourselves
what it would feel like to be an “Ascended Master.”

As they shifted in and out of the visible spectrum while continuing
the whole time to bathe us in the most “Pleiadeian” ecstacy I had
ever known, they unfolded a far deeper understanding of “rheostat”
nature of manifestation and the one-ness of spirit and matter, and
for me were a kind of physical culmination of the “ascension” which
had taken place on the subtle in that pyramid I spoke of the other
day.

I’ve spoken of it before here in some detail, and don’t really feel
the urge to go into it yet again at the moment. If you’re interested,
I wrote of that encounter in the autobiography at
www.artesmagicae.com ; it occured late in 1986 just off the Glasgow
road East of town, outside of Randy & Jane Hillner’s house between
about midnight and the early hours.

The mind-blowing intensity of *that* understanding took over a decade to integrate, and I’m actually *still* revisiting that one for further insights from time to time. *lol*

Since then, I have had a number of other encounters, but not with
other people in so-called “real” spacetime.

Am I Sirius? As much as anything else :-)

………………………………………

…probably the most mind-blowing thing about the 1986 encounter
was there were four of us who all saw and experienced the same thing (including bodily levitation, dematerialization, star-presence, rematerialization and gravity waves, etc.) Though apparently the others, when recounting the story later to the Ascension teacher whose lecture apparently precipitated the encounter, provided her with less detail than I did.

At any rate, this group consensus moved it out of the “vision” realm
and into the “visible” for me and broke still more of the learned
boundaries between spirit and body (or energy and matter), visible
and invisible, gravity and levity, subjective and objective, etc.

Others of my encounters more recently with subtle-field ships, beam-
levitation, galactic council-chambers, etc. also tally closely with
other people’s “dream” or astral, or physical reports. This has been
serving to further remove unnecessary boundaries I had erected
between “waking” and “dreaming”.

Personally, though, I would probably still be very leary of so-
called “space-phenomena” which did *not* exhibit such “rheostat”
spirit-matter flexibility. Without it, it would still smack
of “quarantine” technology.

:-)

………………………………………

The original post seems to have disappeared, but it mentioned something about “millions of years” before we could attain alien-type consciousness and technology.

Let’s not forget that though time is a lot of fun, it’s just an idea.
Our consciousness already contains those “millions of years” and a
whole lot more (or a whole lot less, if we prefer), and when we
remember that, we can let go of the illusion our senses are insisting
on and essentially *be* anywho, anywhere, anywhen we need, right Here, and Now. This is a kind of FTL, faster-than-light (and faster than time), approach to the Universe.

“What *would* it feel like/look like/etc. if we *could* do this?” is
often a great way to get around our inner spacetime censor.

I’ve found it can be a bit iffy at first, like rusty water coming out
of a long-unused pipe, but as we practice “channeling” our “future
enlightenment” Now, trusting the presence in the crown (and the sacred-heart and the feet) more and more, we can “apperceive” this more and more clearly.

As far as I can see, at a certain point this is the only way to *be*
truly content :-)

………………………………………

…In mine at the moment, there appears to coexist a sea of mutually-
contradictory “simple facts” or data among which my inner preference,
bias or “mood” automatically selects or “magnetizes” those which align
with it, to support and sustain a world “out there” in consonance with itself.

………………………………………

…it might seem to be an odd paradox, but I suspect if one moves far enough into *true* infinite  “Magnificence,” one may well eventually be satisfied with Nothing but surrender into the *true* emptiful indescribable; it would appear that anything that breaks our habitual belief in bondage to spacetime is a step in the right direction toward disbelief in everything :-)

………………………………………

Apparently, one person’s “spontaneous [excellent] qualities are
another’s “co-dependent moodmaking,” then, Vaj; or maybe you meant to say, “*our* group’s enlightened qualities are spontaneous and excellent; *yours* are co-dependent moodmaking”?

Either way, one could probably make a good case for this whole line
of thinking being baloney, along the lines of mistaking sattva (a
guna) for purusha (free from gunas), or mistaking  “making it a
really, really *good* movie” with actual freedom from belief in the
movie.

…Who indeed? If you still think you and I exist, then you do,
apparently, as here I apparently am.

Speaking of editing, perhaps you missed the editor’s gentle hint the
first time around: the possessive of “it” is “its”  — not “it’s”,
which is only used by the literate as the contraction of “it is.”

………………………………………

Apparently, one person’s “spontaneous [excellent] qualities are
another’s “co-dependent moodmaking,” then, Vaj; or maybe you meant to
say, “*our* group’s enlightened qualities are spontaneous and
excellent; *yours* are co-dependent moodmaking”?

Either way, one could probably make a good case for this whole line
of thinking being baloney, along the lines of mistaking sattva (a
guna) for purusha (free from gunas), or mistaking “making it a
really, really *good* movie” with actual freedom from belief in the
movie.

………………………………………

As to your statement, Vaj, “Yes and my understanding (perhaps not of
publishing genre) was that it’s ok per casual anglais,” Judy would
like to tell you (and I heartily agree) “that it’s not OK no matter
how casual your anglais, unless perhaps you’re spray-painting it on
the subway walls.”

And in response to your statements, “I don’t live by my c. 1977
Norton Reader or (heaven forbid) a dictionary” and “I’m just an
ordinary being,” Judy points out that “Many utterly ordinary beings
have no need of the dictionary or Norton’s Reader of any vintage to
know the difference between a possessive and a contraction.”

:-)

(P.S. It looks as though you’ve apparently chosen yet again to ignore
the main point of the post: the distinction between sattva and
purusha, or judging “it’s a really, really *good* movie” vs. actually
freeing oneself from belief in the movie. While I enjoy sattvic
behavior as much as the next guy, judging anyone’s behavior
as “enlightened” or “not enlightened” would to me fall into the
category of judging the quality of the movie.)

:-)

………………………………………

…Judging a person as “enlightened” or “unenlightened” by his or her
behavior is somewhat like judging an actor in a movie as being a
genuinely “good” or “bad” person *based upon one’s response to the
dramatic role s/he happens to be playing in the movie*, when the real
issue is whether the spectator even knows s/he is watching a movie.

Except it is even funnier than that, because it’s not just a movie,
it’s a mirror, so we could see the whole judgment-process as more like
the canary pecking away at his own reflection.

I don’t know much about logic, but I imagine one could call it
a “category error”.

*lol*

………………………………………

…Another thing about that canary-pecking-at-the-mirror
analogy — When we consider that the mirror completely surrounds and
encases the canary, it could also be called an egg. And how do we get
out of the egg except by peck, peck pecking at it?!

*rofl*

………………………………………

I don’t haplessly identify with the discriminator as I did before “dying,” as THAT or the “Me” or the Self is behind discrimination, behind buddhi.

In another sense, that’s quite untrue, as you may recall I
have “discriminated” into your sloppy thinking here on FFL, which
oddly enough appears to be about when you stopped seeing me as a semi-enlightened “friend” whose experiences you claimed to like to read, and started seeing me as a “moodmake-y, unconvincing” asshole.

Of course, I am both, or neither.

I repeat, “I” can make no claims to enlightenment or ignorance, “I”
can make no claims to anything but having “died”, and even that from
some POVs must be untrue, as here I apparently still am.

As to shakti over the internet — some get it, some don’t. I couldn’t
care less either way. I think it’s been pointed out many times on FFL
that even the most inveterate “shakti-junkies” *still* manage to
avoid “dying”. No great suprise there — who would purposely trade
all those great kicks for absolute Nothingness? Only those who have no choice.

I am only here to (metaphorically) cut off your head, dance on it,
throw your corpse into my fire, consume it utterly, and scatter the
sparks to the breeze, and why would you want that unless you *knew* just how much suffering your head was causing you?

I do not wonder how or why you so sedulously manage to ignore me.

I’ll wait.

*lol*

………………………………………

I don’t know about MMY, but that video totally cracked me up; I haven’t laughed that hard in years. I almost choked on my tongue!

 

In part, I think, it’s a cautionary tale because in making overt claims
of “Invincibility” and “elimination of all negativity” and all that,
they are really speaking of extremely subtle, interior, “Raam-Raj”
particle-loving and one’s consequent integrity and harmony; of the true marriage of Purusha and Prakriti, but this video illustrates how hideously distorted those understandings can become when misinterpreted, misunderstood and misapplied by a separate small-mind, one that has not yet “died.” And I’m not speaking of the audience.

The way the “Raj” treated his “particles” in that video — dully
repeating “Invincibility,” over and over, like a mantra, and *louder*
and *louder* to drown out the objections and consequent chaos, trying to get all his particles to sing along (which they do automatically, “Vedically,” when one is in harmony with them), refusing or unable to actually speak to their concerns, was a perfect example of the tyranny of “Brahma-raj” — the fascism of the ignorant-I — rather than the intimate sweetness of “Raam-raj.”

David Lynch, OTOH, was a very impressive example of “Raam-raj,” I thought.

It was brilliant theater, truly brilliant.

And again, I am *not* judging the depth or breadth of *anyone’s*
actual “enlightenment” here, because there is no one here to
be “enlightened,” to judge or be judged in reality: only appreciating
aspects of my own understanding or lack of it, as illustrated by the
*actors in the movie.* The “Raaj” did a beautiful job acting out the
attempts and strategies of the unripe or not-yet-dead mind to control
its environment. “Lynch” did a beautiful job acting out the ability of
the “dead” to Be Here Now; to listen to feedback and begin to harmonize one’s particles. Each played perfectly off the other.

They’re both perfect; both in reality just momentary fluctuations of emptiful Nothing, of “Me,” of the Self.
 
………………………………………

…It’s only natural to see Death as the ultimate Demon to be feared,
resisted, denied, trivialized, and ignored. I mean utter death,
not “death of the body or subtle body but my I-ness lives on” denial.

But I’ve never yet met a Demon that can be conquered by running away from it or denying it. The only way to “escape” the Crone is by complete surrender, by intercourse with Her — that’s the way to sovereignty. “Support of Nature” without utter surrender to Nature is half-baked tyranny and yet another ego-fantasy.

It’s interesting to see how universal the “spiritual advice” is that we
can’t really live until we have died. Until we *know* and accept utter
futility — utter meaninglessness, utter sameness, utter evanescence,
utter emptiness, utter Nothingness — our so-called spiritual path and
progress is just play-acting: avoidance mechanisms, addictions to
palliate and ignore the Here and Now.

………………………………………

…Actually, I think it’s “hear, hear,” if one wishes to be truly pompous :-)

………………………………………

…You’re right. Things are still *far* too confusing and out of kontrolle.

To macht things truly in ordnung, wir mussen find a way to make dem posts appearen in triplikat!

………………………………………

…From here, arguing about “meaning” and “distorted traditions” or
attaching any “meaning” to any “tradition” is completely laughable:
just another way to deny the emptiful meaninglessness of one’s a priori Death and attempt to cling to self-importance, judgment, specialness — a complete waste of time and misuse of discrimination, IOW.

OTOH, in retrospect I see TM was an excellent “anti-addiction addiction” for us as it showed us how to transcend, or die, again and again: how to effortlessly give up control, again and again, until we were finally ready to face and surrender to the Big One.

 

And you’re still misusing “it’s” too.

:-)
 
………………………………………

…In THIS context, any “tradition,” even a “practical” one is baloney. We don’t die by acquiring more and more, we die by ourselves, naked and Alone.

………………………………………

Just dropping a friendly reminder that until we accept its [death] presence wholeheartedly as Here and Now, our spiritual journey has not truly even begun.

………………………………………

Certainly looks like it, doesn’t it? “Life is wasted on the living.”

*lol*

But there’s one thing I’ve learned here: the living can not really
see the dead, and the dead cannot really speak to the living.

To us the so-called living are like ghosts — i.e., the dead who
refuse to acknowledge they are dead, because of some attachment they still hold to earth, some overriding past-memory or future-desire keeping them out of Here and Now. We can speak to them, but they refuse to hear.

The dead can only be truly heard by the dead, or, on rare occasions,
by someone on their death-bed.

Then they can see us, and we can serve as a welcoming-committee, as
was my pleasure with you :-)
 
………………………………………

Nor is it at all likely that any “spiritual” practice — liturgic,
yogic or otherwise — that *avoids the inner work* will lead to
enlightenment.

From my point of view, that’s absolutely OK.

It is also a “waste of time” *if* one thinks one is going to “get
enlightenment” by pursuing some means that allows them to distract
themselves from embracing the reality of their own death Here and Now.

And that’s perfectly OK too.

………………………………………

On the one hand, you’re quite right; no emotion is a substitute
for “enlightenment”; nothing transitory is a substitute
for “enlightenment”. On the other hand, you’re killing another straw-
man. I claim no experience as “enlightenment.” Nor does Jim, as far as I can see.

It would appear you’re still managing to ignore me, as I repeat yet
again that Death is the door to Life: everything false must die;
the “eye of the needle” can accept nothing but Truth.

No experience, no “tradition,” no concept, no belief, no attachment,
no “I” can survive the Long View. Death is a sculptor/sculpture,
carefully chipping everything away that is not Real. And that’s every “thing.”

*After* Death, now — that’s different! But you’re in no position to
evaluate any of that until you Die. Surrender to the Crone, and then we’ll talk.

………………………………………

I haven’t meditated for 25 years…

………………………………………

Great question [Who’s ‘me’?]; let’s keep asking.

[Comment on: Can’t answer?]

Not if there’s a you who’s asking me, no. Duality is a lie.

Each of us has to chip away all the lies, all the beliefs, all the
concepts, to find the answer for ourself. Remove all the Untruth, and
the Truth is what’s left.

That’s what it means to Die.

………………………………………

…Valuing “Hours long samadhi” is still just clinging to
another experience, nothing whatever to do with Death or Life,
really. Contrasting and comparing the “hours long samadhi”
with “anything else” is just another good/bad duality of
attraction/aversion.

Death shows us that the relative and the absolute are the same, that
samadhi and not-samadhi are the same, spirit and matter are the same, self and not-self are the same, inner and outer are the same, and so on…

And from *this* place, experience shows itself to be as eternal as non-experience :-)

…someone looking for more or longer samadhi is pathetic, just another addict looking for his fix. Anything to escape that nagging sense of futility and failure, eh?

*lol*

…If it’s an experience, it is not Real or True. If it can be defined, it is still not Dead enough to Be of any value.

………………………………………

…your interest appears to be attacking something or somebody that only exists in your head.

………………………………………

…Who, indeed [is writing, if you are dead]? You want me to spoonfeed you the answer? Can’t be done.
Find it for yourself. Die and find out. Who is “me”?

…I have identified who “me” is, but I can’t tell you, if you think you are other than “me”. “You” have to find out for “yourSelf.”

…It’s not logic, because logic like language is based on duality — either/or. I am prior to either/or, prior to discrimination. “Atman”
is subtler than “Buddhi”.

So yes, the words are meaningless, in that they cannot directly convey the Real or the True, but they can help to chip away what is not Real and a Lie.

………………………………………

[Comment on:… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtIXg7MzPUY ]

*lol* Brilliant! That’s “us”, all right :-)

………………………………………

Oh, I don’t know; I’d say he’s pretty close here — his main hang-up seems to be he still thinks samadhi is “special”.

………………………………………

(And you’d better make sure to add a super-duper extra helping of “phwam!” so it will be nice and *special* for him…)

………………………………………

[Comment on:…An unreal spewer of non-truth]

PHWAM!

This IS the best description of ‘me’ EVER!

………………………………………

ADHD + Alzheimer’s = “Line on Air.”…

………………………………………

Joseph Atwill’s “Caesar’s Messiah” provides the most convincing
evidence to date I’ve seen that Christianity was invented by the
Flavian Roman emperors as a device to curb the Messianic zealotry of the Jews.

………………………………………

Not IME. Death is the great equalizer.

………………………………………

FWIW, today is the start of Winter in the “Rorian” Taurus-Equinox (T-
E) Calendar, when the Sun enters T-E Capricorn. This is the month of
the Indigo Mason, or Crone: Kali, Cailleach, Loki — Saturn as Binah
the Sterile Mother — she is the Critic, the Stonecutter, chipping
away all identification with the unTrue and unReal. She is Death to
all that is impermanent.

These first 2.5 days of Crystal-Month are especially interesting,
when her mate the Violet Alchemist (Jupiter, ruler of T-E Aquarius)
slays his father, the Golden Solar Creator (Baeli-Braehim), by
blinding his right eye: as the Sun is the right eye of the Cosmic
Person, the death of the sun is the transcendence of the right eye,
or “masculine” pingala-current. This story finds echos in Loki’s
instigation of the slaying of Baldur the Beautiful with the spear of
mistletoe, Lug’s slaying of Balor of the Baleful Eye, “St.” George
(Gae-ourgi, “earth-worker,” but more accurately “Molten-metal-
worker”) slaying the fiery dragon, and probably Odysseus’s blinding
of the Cyclops and Samson (Shamash-On, Sun-God)’s blinding and
captivity in the “mill” of the North (the heavens turning about the
pole star).

For us personally, it is a commemoration of the slaying of our
radiant Brahmic-ego, or Solar Angel, for its excessive pride. Not
surprising, I guess, that this issue has been lively for us again of
late …

*lol*

………………………………………

…I am not claiming to have vanquished *my* excessive pride; only that it has been an issue of late, and I didn’t even realize I was playing out the drama of my own calendar-system!

And anyhow, the Brahmic-Solar-ego descends into the Northern
Underworld in a fortnight, and is reborn again around Dec. 24-25, and so on and so on…nothing lasts forever, not even Death :-)

………………………………………

I think Judy has pointed out could not function in this world without
*some* discrimination; after “Death” it simply is not predominant, more like a fine, multi-colored oil-layer of variety on an ocean of ThatSelf. Call it “leshavidya” if you like, or simply keeping one eye on the movie :-)

………………………………………

You saying I’m full of Bull…winkle?

No argument there :-)

………………………………………

…This simile still implies that the “oil-slick” and the “ocean” are in someway different though, and that’s not true.

………………………………………

More accurate would be that old analogy of the ocean’s depths and the minute vibration of its surface waves.

More like a constant collapse-and-return of the unbounded into the
particle(s) and vice versa, with the particles’ being essentially
nothing but “programmed” unbounded; unbounded dreaming and acting out a “what-if” or “let’s pretend” scenario.
 
………………………………………

*lol* “Saving the world….one particle at a time!”

(DISCLAIMER to ANY and ALL of mySelf: The above is only a joke, an
obsolete program, a work of fiction, which does not in any way reflect
any true belief, attitude or opinion of anyone, or of no-one. More
truly perhaps, there is no world to be saved, hence no savior(s) and no savee(s)…nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so)

………………………………………

You can pretend anything you like, crusty or not, as always :-)

…I believe I have made it abundantly clear I am “just pretending,”….

You may take any role you like, as always :-)

………………………………………

“Braman is slippery” — MMY said it, too, so it must be true :-)

Seriously (more or less), what do you expect of “something” that is
subtler than either-or, a priori to language?

How many here understand that the Self is prior to discrimination?
Mmm?

… Almost everybody.

………………………………………

The memory of non-self remains, by which and through which the Self
knows itself as the Self. It’s not that *all* discrimination vanishes,
necessarily; it just no longer predominates. It now serves the Self, rather than obscuring it.

………………………………………

But “to know itself as Self” is not like any other knowledge, which
is indeed dualistic and based on a comparison, on an either-or discrimination.

That’s why this Self-knowledge is so mind-blowing — literally. It is
so ordinary and so special, so still and so dynamic, so Dead and so
Alive, so *this* and so *that* — so slippery, so concrete, so in-
your-face paradoxical. Literally unimaginable, literally unspeakable.

Yet it IS; I AM.

Discrimination cannot capture it; discrimination can only surrender awe-struck.

………………………………………

YES — “Understanding” is probably a better word than “Knowledge” as
Now we both figuratively and literally Under-stand ourSelf, and it is
truly and simply a whole-body BEing.

It is the rock-solid bottom of the inquiry, Under-standing itSelf :-)

………………………………………

I wrote a paper on this very subject while working on my Master’s at
Harvard Divinity School… That was in 1980 or so, right after
constant immersion in the omnipresent gold light/angels/deities/blah-
blah-blah of “Unity” and immediately followed by 2 years of Dark Night.

I wonder if there was a correlation *there*?

*lol*

………………………………………

(Dis/claimer to any and all of mySelf: Please, please, please — plunge
into the Dark, if that is where (y)our inquiry takes us! The True Dark
is not “bad” — or “good” for that matter — it is not even Dark
because of an absence of Light. It is Dark because it is *faster than
light* — outside of the bubble of illusory spacetime. That where ourSelf lies, Truly :-) )

………………………………………

…the omnipresent gold-light/angels/deities/etc. would be the subjective (and by that I mean “real”) equivalent of attaining lightspeed and essential identity with the laws of nature; with further acceleration the inevitable onset of the Dark if resisted (and it usually is *lol*) with belief in stories, concepts, etc. brings suffering, as all resistance = suffering. Kind of like trying to crawl back into the spacetime womb, resisting one’s own birth. But afterwards, we can “program” the particles and superimpose whatever story of duality they/we like on the emptiful-indescribable, but without that bind of identifying belief and consequent resistance, there is no suffering.

………………………………………

IOW, because we know we are “nothing” we can give our particles
ANYthing they desire (desire = of the star(s); particular).

Our simple, ordinary thoughts are just thoughts to us, but they are
concrete, physical, divine mandates to those particles/gods within us
to whom we are “God”, and who make up our space-time physiology or body-mind.

By honestly attuning to our desire-particles, bestowing grace on them,
and listening to their feedback, and adjusting our subsequent grace-
bestowals to meet their needs, we comb or align them into harmony with us, into integrity, converting the resistant or “demonic” aspects of ourselves into coherent or “angelic” polarity.

Thereafter as we fluctuate from “nothing” or boundlessness
into “particular” or spacetime bodymind, our bodymind now projects the paradise we have programmed…as it was always meant to do, and has been faithfully doing, ab principio *lol*

………………………………………

…by the bye, OMGAkashaNewMonitor, I seem to remember that you
recently claimed you found me boring and didn’t wish any further
contact with me. Have you changed your policy, or was that or this
but a momentary lapse, a verbal eructation as it were, indicative of
a smidgen of mental indigestion, a bit of undigested beef?

In any case, not to appear elitist or exclusive or anything, but it’s
a pretty fair bet that what I have recently been discussing with Jim
will be of no real use to any who haven’t yet embraced their Death in
the perfection of the Here-Now.

I could be wrong of course, but I don’t think one can truly
appreciate a star-particle point-self and its potential as
emptifulness collapsed unless and until one has actually surrendered
into emptiful Nothing. The Unsurrendered/Unrealized would tend to see it as just a fairy tale.

“End of story!” *lol*

………………………………………

Yes — I would write to you privately, but I do have a clear feeling
these dialogues are actually useful to others of Us as well.

…*lol* Couldn’t say, Jim, but God knows, I remain somewhat “humbled
and embarrassed” by a good deal of my own thoughtless and immature behavior, both before and for some time after Death.

I am constantly astonished at the sweet forgiving depths of
understanding, love and grace in Him/Her, the “Deep-Me” against whom as a particle I so often believed I was rebelling:-)

………………………………………

…I replied to your post in which you had said I and others are making
claims to enlightenment, or higher states of consciousness, or some
such sweeping inaccuracy. (Again, even several years ago when I had
said, “I am enlightened,” I also added, “and so are you.” This has
always been my thrust here; I have not claimed “enlightenment” as a
better-than-thou state, as you appeared to imply.) When I responded
to your “defamation,” asking you to leave me out of it — I can make
no claims to anything but to having “Died,” I believe you replied to
the effect that I bored you and you didn’t particularly wish to
converse. I said that we were in agreement then, and if you could
refrain from bringing my name up here again, I could probably refrain from boring you further.

I perhaps incorrectly assumed that your not wishing to converse with
me would actually include your not responding to my posts.

…Within the movie, I exist, I create, I destroy, I feel, and I am (sometimes) deadly serious about those who resist me, particularly with this type of evasive and snarky dishonesty.

…Feel free to re-open the lines of conversation if and when you decide
to “get real” about your feelings, instead of using Monist
slipperiness as an excuse for snide remarks, which are in turn AFAI
can see apparently an excuse for denied rage. Not too surprising in
view of your past-stated belief that “Brahman” despite its wholeness
must somehow exclude the quality of rage :-)

And yes, I *do* realize I am as always only talking to mySelf!

At the moment, I am playing St. George, lovingly spearing a
particularly slippery dragon-coil of my DNA, a piece that has
fearfully and hatefully eluded my attention until Now. There’s
the “dragon-story” you asked for!

Nailing me and loving it! :-)

*lol*

………………………………………

You just said, “To me, anything with words is a story. Even OM / AUM
has its story — and is a story. If you take your stories so serious as to believe them to be something else, then, as you please.”

If so, typing “Nice story” is redundant and meaningless, as it’s
equally applicable to all conversation, isn’t it?

So what did you really mean by the phrase? Are you trying to dismiss
my observations of our interactions *within the story*?

It just sounds to me like more of your snidely dishonest “advaita
shuffle,” anything to avoid real introspection and Self-Work.

………………………………………

Go Know yourself,… — and I don’t mean just in the Biblical sense :-)

………………………………………

…Not to do the “advaita shuffle,” or anything, but I am not at all convinced that there *is* “someone besides yourself,” or myself, or whatever. How could we ever know?

………………………………………

I am certainly not surprised that it’s clear to you, Judy, as you
obviously Understand that (y)our consciousness contains it all, but I
must say I am a little surprised that another “Dead guy” claims that
he doesn’t get the “self-evident” bigger picture which Davies’ work
so clearly points to.

Maybe Dr. Pete has forgotten what the world looks like to those who
ain’t No-one yet?

  :-)

………………………………………

…I mean to say, “maybe you have forgotten what the
world looks like to those who don’t know they are No-one yet?”

Questioning the hitherto-unquestioned assumption that there is an
external order to which the Universe conforms, is *huge*. IMO it shows a consciousness beginning to actually become aware of itself and its own participatory role in universe-manifestation.

………………………………………

…And I don’t mean this in a purely intellectual way; his words *actually
tickled and stirred Me* bodily. He is becoming a knower of Me, of That-Self.
 
………………………………………

…A Knower of the Self *is* my Self.

At present most people look/feel like love/light/bliss-points in me,
which if drawn to do so I either pay attention to and watch
them “warm up” or “lighten up” or “quicken” (as is usually the case
nowadays), or else “incarnate” and experience from the inside out, if
need be (which is actually quite seldom nowadays), and in either case
only to whatever degree is appropriate.

In Davies’ case, he was *not* a bliss-point at all; he was right from
the start an entire field, a significant portion of me. Not my Self,
exactly, but … definitely tickling in that vicinity *lol*

………………………………………

…I don’t know about Shotokan, but I’d say you guys are about equally tied in higher-belt rants :-)

………………………………………

Sorry; I was *wondering* if that sentence construction might not be all
that clear. Simply meant incarnating or manifesting through (the
various bodies of) another, coming up as a different wave of our ocean
so to speak, to experience something of how another experiences Life —
also useful for tickling the bliss-points in another’s physiology, to
help facilitate their moving through their painful (mis)interpretations
of that bliss, so we can meet and enjoy the bliss together. I think
Patanjali 3:37 describes this briefly. All very much like what you were
describing, I believe.

:-)

………………………………………

…I had a *lot* of fun with it, thanks :-)

………………………………………

Ahh, but you see, Jim, he *is* condemning *you* — trying desperately
to find and prove “flaws” in you so he won’t have to look up to you as
a role model, which is what he thinks you want!

You remember how that worked, don’t you? I had forgotten, I admit, but FFL has beautifully reminded me of how the separate self still thoroughly identifying with buddhi has only two near-automatic choices in any given moment: me-better-than-you or you-better-than-me. That everything-utterly-perfect-everything-the-same US we essentially take for granted is anathema to the identified self; still sees it as Death and boredom and so on…

………………………………………

*lol* Well, I just see it as what discrimination DOES — it is always
deciding which alternative is better. That’s its job. It applies
itself to everything. And when the unrecognized Self identifies with
it and is obscured by it, there is no appreciation of the underlying
perfect-USness everywhere, and so it creates nothing but misery. In
fact it thrives on it, fights for it, as it feels it would have no
reason to live if everything really IS perfect. The old “great
servant, lousy master” routine. Gotta love it! :-)

………………………………………

…True that. But I kid you not; these guys have as much as said so,
many times. It would be tragic if it weren’t so funny, or vice versa :-)

………………………………………

You watch; right now those Buddhis are interpreting *even this*
conversation as elitist, special, attention-grabbing, unconvincingly mood-makey, etc. etc. etc.

They *have to* or *they will “Die”* .. and identified-Buddhi is not at all psyched about the prospect of being dethroned, not until it
actually comprehends the unceasing misery of identification with aversion-desire/spacetime.

Said it before, I’ll say it again: Life is wasted on the so-called Living :-)

………………………………………

Here’s the really funny part. They are so terrified of the coming
tyranny, terror, fascism, and torture “out there” and completely
unaware that the coming nightmare is Disneyland compared to the
absolute tyranny, terror, fascism, and torture they are subjecting
themselves to every moment — voluntarily trading their birthright not
even for a mess of spinach, but for a handful of burning nettles — and congratulating themselves on the trade.

………………………………………

Anything “out there” is Disneyland, period. If it really matters, I
remember war. I am still standing amidst the ashes, rubble, bones,
and stink of an incinerated Germany and knowing nothingness, and
utter humiliation and failure to protect my people.

What’s going on “in here” is far worse: because it has a sugar
coating, allowing us to ignore a far more horrendous and insidious
tyranny that robs us of utter freedom, doesn’t allow us to have a
truly clear thought, or perceive clearly that we aren’t actually
free. And again, I’m not speaking of mere political freedom. I’m
speaking of a thought-control so subtle we aren’t even aware that
it’s there or that we’re fearfully chained by it, until it Dies.

We’re afraid, all right.
 
………………………………………

AnyOne of Us who can listen…? If what I say doesn’t resonate for
you, feel free to ignore it, of course.

FWIW I too am really moved by your great heart, Curtis, and I wish
you nothing but the best.

………………………………………

I’m not here to keep quiet about what I see, or to lie to you to make
you feel better, if that’s what you want.

I’m here to tell the truth as simply and as clearly as I can — I feel
I owe you that much.

………………………………………

You mean, one of Us is not threatening your Buddhi-tyranny at the
moment, and the other two of Us are?

You’re just like Vaj, aren’t you? You want us all to keep quiet, to not
rock the boat?

“The only good Dead-guy is a dead Dead-guy!”

*lol*

………………………………………

…all things being equal, I like a movie with a nice pat (fat) happy Hollywood ending, like all “dumb Americans” (I am not implying by these quotes that this term or idea is yours; I am merely laughing at us a little) :-)

But it’s still only a movie, and to be bound to a nice movie is
infinitely worse — INFINITELY worse — than being free in a nasty
one. We can truly *enjoy* the nasty one if we are free, for freedom is bliss. We cannot truly *enjoy* the happy one if we are bound, for we are bound in fear.

…Truly, I don’t know how to say this any more clearly, I am not at
all “enlightened,” as the word is apparently commonly understood.
That’s only an I-max movie too, as far as I can see. I am just a
simple ordinary guy, or better yet, virtually nothing at all. I’m dead; that’s all. :-)

And I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but it is in — and out
of — love and laughter and compassion that I am being as truthful as
I can in speaking out (where I have at least a remote chance of being
heard) and pointing out the “tyrannical conspiracy” that lies around the heart of things — just as you do.

Love You,

R.

………………………………………

Not enlightened, just doing the best I can, with the narrow set of skills at my disposal :-)

………………………………………

Yeah, yeah, Ma, I get it; don’t rock the boat, go along to get along,
you gotta be polite to get ahead in the world, when am I going to get
a real job and make you proud. It’s just not me. But thanks for the borscht :-)

………………………………………

…I love how the flea sits on the elephant’s rump, thinking it can control the elephant :-)

…I know I am both, but it wasn’t until I saw the
elephant’s ass that I realized that the “I” that I had thought I was,
was only a flea.

YMMV, of course; I really can’t speak for you.

…Actually, I am not assuming any superiority *over you*, Curtis; I
never have. I know that you and I are utterly the same.

I am asserting superiority *over Tyrannical Buddhi*. If you are
reading my lines as put-downs of You, I suspect it is because you are
momentarily identifying with Tyrannical Buddhi. (Or of course it
could simply be because I am an arrogant asshole :-) )

…and where for that matter did I say you weren’t “enlightened” ?

…The only one-upmanship I am asserting is over *Tyrannical Buddhi*,
not over You.

…That is quite correct. I am not here just to shoot the shit and
compare different realities. I realize this may look “fundamentalist”
to you, but BTDT, and it’s a waste of time. There is no real
conversing with Tyrannical Buddhi, it only wants to lure Us into its
mood-making stuporous haze with its logic and “reasonableness.”

…Not a TMer, and any “higher states” I reached were a complete
fool’s paradise. They were only useful in showing me what I *didn’t*
want — which on reflection, was absolutely good enough, at that.
Negative information is still information :-)

…No wall whatsoever here, Curtis, except between me and Tyrannical
Buddhi, and I can’t help that. It wants to be the boss, and it’s simply not smart enough for that :-)

…I love you, man. I wasn’t kidding or making a put-down when I said I
feel moved by your great heart. It’s awesome.

………………………………………

It’s been 25 years since I saw that ‘states’ were completely irrelevant.

…It is civil and effective for those who are not resisting; for those who still identify with the Tyrannical Buddhi, it is seen quite rightly as an Act of War :-)

…Here’s a little hint from me to you: If you are still resisting Us,
then did you really let Guru Dev and MMY finish the job? If you
didn’t, are you really in any position to judge which of Us is more effective at “liberating” you?

Apparently we are *all* still failing miserably :-)

………………………………………

…I repeat: Apparently we are *all* still failing miserably :-)

As far as I can see, people either “liberate” themselves or they stay in bondage.

“Death or cake? Oooh, cake, please!”

*lol*

………………………………………

Yeah, until we have the freeing dissociation, we can’t really turn
around and see the story as love-light-bliss.

Death isn’t an instant fix to everything, but it’s only after Death
that the real “spiritual work” really *begins* — the alchemizing of all that old shit into gold.

:-)

………………………………………

…Do you mean dance *of* the kleshas or dance *on* the kleshas, or is there a difference?

Are you implying that those are the only two choices, quiet or kleshas?

If there is a third choice, how would you know it?

………………………………………

Me? No. I just liked your term “klesha-dance” and was open to hearing
more of your backstory.
 
…JOOC, have you ever used ice-packs to the skull and eaten meat and
potatoes in heavy gravy to keep yourself from thinking too much?

What would have happened if you had let the thinking run its course, I
wonder?

………………………………………

… I suspect we might find that “kleshas” and “quiet” are concepts
built of nothing — but that believing in them serves nicely to keep
the meaninglessness of Death away, and thus to keep one imprisoned by the Tyrannical Buddhi, but of course I could be Dead wrong.

………………………………………

 

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