2010 December

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Let me guess. You’re not a real expert, but you are absolutely certain you know
some people who are. Right?

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My point, in case it is not immediately obvious, is that there is only one
“whole truth, the real truth” about which we can be absolutely certain, and this
isn’t it.

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Vaj: “Remember the saying: those who talk, don’t know.”

:-)

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HA! That was funny, Vaj! Thanks.

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Hey, Lawson! It’s very good to see you again.

Right, there is absolutely no point in coming here trying to change other
people’s minds.

FWIW I find I am here primarily to meet, love, know, and enjoy all the various
waves of our own Being; I find FFL works extraordinarily well for that — almost
exactly like the Dome, and in the privacy of my own Home! Or at least, that’s my
current story-of-choice.

Doubtless I can quit any time.

:-)

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Beautifully put, Ravi, many thanks!

And I wouldn’t be too quick to label your kundalini-episode a psychosis. If
anything, She was removing pyschoses, but even amidst your bumpy ride, you have
always looked quite sane to me (FWIW).

Home Tat Sat!

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Thanks for letting us know, Joe; with your permission we’ll be holding you in
the light.

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Yes, perhaps so. We are given such a divine opportunity when a set of long- and
deeply-cherished beliefs starts to crumble into dust, and yet we so often merely
trade that cage for another — anything to retain a solid sense of separation,
discontent and purpose, anything to resist a genuine surrender and awakening
into the innocence of simply being Isness now. How we do love this game!

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Yes, Vaj, a pretty long “nothing” by some standards.

Does “nothing” have to be short in your world?

In mine, “nothing” includes everything throughout the realms of spacetime —
that is, everything appears to happen, but in reality, doesn’t.

That includes the stories of growth perceived through our Inner Archetypes,
including the various dramas of hurt, victimization, rage, rescue, demons,
angels, subtle realms, ignorance, enlightenment, growth, and so on.

All real enough on their own levels, to be sure, but really, just more of me to
love!

I am very, very “fat”! A big, fat nothing!

:-)

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HA! Good one, Jim. And served it up as hamburger! :-D

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*lol* Thanks; always happy to connect! Shallow, deep…what’s the difference?

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What a warm and beautiful letter this is! It is always a delight to see and feel
someone waking up.

Many thanks for (re?)posting it, Tom!

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Actually not, Vaj. For me the various Initiations, like all models of growth and
progress, are actually themselves stories or dramas of our inner Archetypes:
powerful, moving, enjoyable, supremely useful for self-exploration, but
ultimately “unreal”.

Really, nothing ever happens! :-D

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I have called her “Magdalene” as that was apparently a traditional name or title
given to the Daughter as soul-mate or partner of the male Christos or Son in
some Gnostic circles.

Strictly speaking, “Magdalene” probably comes from “Migdal” meaning “tower,” and
more accurately refers to the tenth or tithing Aeon or Apostle of the Left Heart
(Taurus) we call the Red-Orange High Priestess, the Rosy Lover who surrenders to
the Perfection of All and receives and maintains the Treasure-Tower of
perfections: Siddhartha. In the West all the Aeons or Apostles were
masculinized, and this Tower-Keeper or tither was called Matthew the
tax-collector.

But then, in the West, many of the attributes of the High Priestess’s partner,
the triune Green Priest of the Right Heart (Libra), the one who sits at the
right hand of the Lord upon the Dharma-Throne of mercy and holds the scales of
judgment, have been attributed to the Son.

In our play, a better name for the Daughter would be WOHE, the Ascending One,
with the appropriate mantra suffixed to denote the specific Aeon through which
She is playing: For the past 2000 years, WOHE-SHWA, loosely translated as She
who Ascends through Salvation or Forgiveness — as her soul-mate the Piscean
Son, has been known as YAHU-SHWA: He who Descends through Salvation or
Forgiveness.

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Well, hey, it’s obviously working for you! To each his own, right?

:-D

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(Personally, I am currently most inspired by the perennial or Aeonial Christ and
YAHU-SHWA and Magdalene and Apostles which are ever and always incarnating
within each of Us…)

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If that idea inspires you, I say, enjoy it! :-)

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Yes! One of my main delights has been the re-cognizing or re-membering of what
might be called Primordial, or Gnostic, or Aeonial Universalist, or even “Vedic”
Christianity. Here we have not only the 12 Aeons or Apostles, but also a Divine
Quaternity: the Father, the Mother, the Daughter, and the Son.

In those terms, what we have just experienced could be described as the
culmination of the descent of the Son-Soul or Christos-Soul as he was
“crucified” across the Fall Equinox into the Dark Love of Mater-Matter-Mother
God at the Solstice, and now the simultaneous re-conception of the Daughter-Soul
or Magdalene-Soul as she begins her re-ascent toward the Bright Spirit of
Father-God, to be “crucified” at the Spring Equinox, and to culminate at Summer
Solstice.

On closer look, we actually see 9 Initiations these aspects of ourselves undergo
in their journey, with each Initiation lasting 9 uncials or twelfths of a
month…

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(In our liturgical play this transmutation occurs in microcosm over the next two
weeks, as the quiet rebirth of our luminaries the Lunar Sage and Solar Creator
immediately after the Midwinter Solstice, ripens into their epiphany or coming
of age at Late Winter, ca. Jan. 6-10: at which time the Pewter and Lead symbols
of ca. Dec. 21-26 ripen into Silver and Gold, and our Violet Smith or inner Guru
progresses from his Grail Throne to his Coronation.)

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(And as you said, after Saturn/Crone/Indigo Mason has done Her work in
Crystal-month by nicking, lightening and relieving us of the extraneous and
ending the old year at the Darkest Solstice, now comes Jupiter/Guru/Violet Smith
in Metal-Month or Grail-Month to pick up the pieces and take responsibility for
alchemically transmuting and making something new …)

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Tart, re the “Shani Claus” post of yours: “Santa Claus” evidently derives from
the Dutch form of “St. Nicholas” — with “Nicholas” coming from the Greek
meaning “Victory-people” — as “Nike” is the Greek goddess of Victory and “Laos”
is people. So St. Nick actually stems from “St.” Nike! Then too, “Nick” or “Old
Nick” has long been a term for the Devil, of obscure origin but perhaps related
to “nick” as in “to cheat” or “to trick” and perhaps also to the “nick” of Time
as being the critical moment. All of this seems again to fold back into my
archetype of the Indigo Mason or Trickster or Critic, the
Saturn/Loki/Crone/Kali/Cailleach figure who “steals” or tricks or critiques or
chips away all of our extraneous attachments to reveal the inherent
crystal-clear, bare-boned Isness of Being.

In my play it turns out that St. Nick’s Day, Dec. 6, marks the High Holiday of
Early Winter, in which The Indigo Mason attains her Crystal Throne upon the
death of her mother, the Amber (Lunar) Sage. (Two weeks later at the beginning
of Mid-Winter Solstice Week, ca. Dec. 20-21, her mother makes her final descent
into the underworld and the Mason is crowned. The Sage is reborn as the Mason’s
own child immediately afterwards, ca. Dec. 22-23, followed by the rebirth of the
Solar Creator ca. Dec. 24-26, when his father the Violet Smith attains his Grail
Throne.)

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Merry Christmas to all!

Amidst the deepest loving dark of Mater-Matter’s Mid-winter Solstice week, may
we all enjoy the quiet alchemical rebirth of our Inner Moon and Inner Sun/Son
:-)

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Perhaps laughter is Shiva’s gift, the explosive release of old concepts into
liberation: a necessary element of the ever-new delight of self-recognition,
Krishna tickling himself :-)

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Nice, Jim. I especially like your use of the term “panther” — which in both its
more-accepted etymology (from Skt. pundarikam, “the whitish [beast]” as in the
white lotus, reminiscent of pundarikaksha, the lotus-eyed, or the crystal-eyed)
and its folk etymology (from Gk. pan-ther, “all-beast” as in the omni-anima(l)
of Pan, the All) is a great symbol for Brahman and Krishna, the impersonal and
the personal God-source.

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Beautiful! Many thanks, nablusoss :-)

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Yes. And minerals. We are an equal opportunity enjoyer :-)

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…and with three misspellings in the opening two paragraphs, not looking very
well edited.

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To the truly discriminating, it is all veneer, and it is all Brahman.

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Right. Evidently to one who is established in Brahman, there is no real
difference whatsoever between a supermarket and the Himalayas, or between the
lowest hell and the highest heaven, and there really is no-one “out there” whom
one can judge as being more or less evolved, let alone more or less silent, than
oneself. Anything or anyone we perceive is really only fluctuations of our own
consciousness.

But duality is very tricky, isn’t it? *lol*

(Let me make it perfectly clear that I am laughing only at and with myself and
my own fluctuations here!) :-)

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In my play, all of the Aeons (as represented by the planets) are both male and
female, but each has a “preferred” polarity depending upon the nature of the
sign each rules. Saturn rules the “feminine” Indigo month of (Taurus-equinox)
Capricorn, Crystal-month, so we see Saturn as the “female” Indigo Mason or
stonecutter (also the Trickster). Think of her as Binah, the Sterile Mother in
the Kaballah, if that helps. Or as Loki, the androgenous trickster in the Norse
tradition (granted, primarily male there, but shapeshifts into female form at
times). Or most especially as the Crone, the blue-faced, stone-carrying Hag of
Winter in the earth-mother Celtic triad. While most of the Aeons retain the
conventional polarities of Greco-Roman mythology, Saturn (female) and Venus
(male, the Green Priest or Caregiver, ruling Libra, Gift-month or Dharma-month)
are two that don’t.

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Yes, and I would equate Cronus to the Crone. Perhaps seeing the all-devouring
Cronus as the Old Hag of Winter, Time, was simply too threatening to the male
redactors of the myths. Or perhaps not :-)

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Agreed! I owe everything to the nothingness bestowed (or left) by Saturn. In my
play, now (Crystal-month) is THE month to really give Her full appreciation,
too.

As you say, it is indeed all relative; I usually prefer to avoid the whole
“malefic” vs. “benefic” dyad and simply say, “it’s all good…” or, “It all IS
(perfect)…” But then again, that also includes the play of duality, and so on,
doesn’t it! One of Judy’s lovely infinite regresses!

:-)

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Lovely! Many thanks. I feel a lot of heart-fullness in this, and I feel Saturn
appreciates being Understood as much as the rest of us do :-)

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Right! Perhaps “Tantra” is the plural form of “Tantrum”, and we would then see
two imbalances by intermingling cancel each other out, like matter and
anti-matter.

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Shakti, shakti you are!

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I mean, as long as we’re conjuring up fantasies, why not pick the one with the
proven track-record? Try new shakti-cola by Karuna-Ma, guaranteed to soothe and
absorb the most fevered buddhi.

:-)

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Tennis Tantra.

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I think he should hold out for a beautiful, blonde tennis pro who, though
beloved by millions, by the grace of God has eyes only for him. She’ll teach him
everything he needs to know.

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Do we? To what end?

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*lol* My favorite line is the first one, “It is a law of nature that without
effort one does not make progress.” What is “it” and “is” and “a law” and “of
nature” and “without effort” and “one” and “does not make” and, perhaps most
especially, “progress”? I see a whole lot of assumptions or creations there that
conjoin to tell a marvelous story, but one I cannot at the moment really, truly,
whole-heartedly believe in. And yet, it is certainly a mandala as true and
beautiful as anything and everything else.

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How do we define “you” and “know” and “anything”?

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How do you know?

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I can’t answer that in any meaningful way. “Are” “they” and “present” all appear
to be virtual and co-dependent too. That’s why I say, “for entertainment
purposes only.” We entertain all of us, and all of us entertains us, don’t we?

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Thank you; I do not really seek them; I merely appreciate them or create them,
for entertainment purposes only.

And to me it seems you are also appreciating and creating reference points,
perhaps even the same ones, perhaps not, but also for entertainment purposes…
no?

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One could always pretend…

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If prison showers are the sacred earth, why not?

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The oracle casts the yarrow sticks upon the sacred earth, bends and reads them;
sweeps them up and casts them again.

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If that is truly your desire, then so be it!

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Sweet!

What a very great joy it is; thank you so much for losing it!

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FWIW this has been our experience and understanding as well. Only in
comprehending the addictive but ultimately unsatisfactory nature of spacetime
and the constant seeking for the Next Big Thing, and our consequent
whole-hearted surrender into the utter perfection of what already IS, does the
separate Atman or Witness believing itself to be “in” CC (and “in” GC and even
“in” UC) finally understand that we are not primarily a particle (even a
God-particle) subject to ripening or evolution with*in* spacetime, but are
really nothing but Brahman itSelf, the transcendent and immanent totality, the
container of spacetime and of every particle-self and of every experience, as we
ever have been and ever shall be.

This re-membering or re-Awakening of the paradoxical ONE or kaivalya or Brahman
instantly breaks all of the subtle chains of discrimination and identification
with a particle with*in* spacetime, and its bondage to evolutionary experience
— including reincarnation on any plane, subtle or gross — and thus kaivalya is
moksha.

Now, growth is perceived to be actually only the various stories or overlays of
the trillions of particles of our body of manifestation: all of our souls,
stars, devas, and so on, who yet conceive of themselves as separate individuals
and so continue to refine themselves alchemically into more and more perfect
harmony with us.

From the POV of our particle-selves, spacetime is real; suffering is real;
growth is real, and as we hold these devotee-devatas delicately in the dharana
of our heart we take even the minutest of their needs utterly seriously, for
they are more than our children; they are us; they are our body, our self, as
seen through the reflecting filters of spacetime.

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Who are you calling a colorless sap?

:-)

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*lol* I figured as much, Judy!

And your great mind is *always* a pleasure! More beautiful to contemplate than a
scintillating diamond.

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Beautiful! “dissembling: present participle of dis·sem·ble (Verb)1. Conceal
one’s true motives, feelings, or beliefs.
2. Disguise or conceal (a feeling or intention).”

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Yes! Just me! :-)

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Y-E-S! :-)

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…back of their I-lids… I like it!

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Hah! Good one! :-D

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Absolutely! Perhaps even on every occasion.

And I forgot to add “lonely” to the “bleak, empty, boring, flat, meaningless,
nothingness” catechism :-)

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I’ve often found that an I-self or a witness-particle upon dissolving or
surrendering into the ocean of That will feel a residue of bleak, flat, empty or
meaningless boredom, a left-over of a “something” interpreting the fullness of
“everything” as the void of “nothing”. The difficulty often appears to arise
from a left-over addiction to, or memory of, an old reliance on gross sensory
input.

The ocean of That is virtual, quantum, illusory, elusive, magical, and subtle;
it contains everything in “what-if” or “as-if” form. This is where the old
siddhi technology comes in great handy, but now we may practice the siddhis not
so much as a rote formula, but more as spontaneous subtle “as-ifs” on the basis
of outstanding desires in the present moment.

What would we most desire, if we could have or be absolutely anything in any or
all the worlds of spacetime? Where would we most want to be in this moment, if
we could be absolutely anwhere in all the worlds of creation? What would that
fulfillment feel like? What form of
enlightenment/emotion/God/soul/lover/paradise do we most desire to experience/be
in this moment?

And we just begin to think/feel, “I am that…” or “I fully open myself to
that…” and relax, and notice how our bodymind or being shifts to accomodate or
manifest that — perhaps quite subtly at first.

Then we try a different flavor of desire, and relax, and notice how the field
shifts to manifest that, and so on. This is one way we begin to reconnect with
ourselves across spacetime, and come to appreciate that we actually are many,
many, many waves of that. It is all on the basis of entertaining an actual,
spontaneous desire in this moment.

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Both of these types of experience are familiar here as well, though I too have
spent more time “using” the ones Jim describes. “As if feelings have become
visible as visual objects.” Nicely described!Over time and with practice I have
noticed this range expand, so that people’s specific thoughts and beliefs, with
their concomitant effects upon the energy-bodies, may also become perceptible
objects within our field, particularly if it is time to heal ourselves :-)

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Later…

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Yes! And yet that’s just a perspective view, distorted (and permitted) by
time, as it were :-)

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Yes!

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*lol*

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:-D

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Well, yes, and that the “compression” (and multiplication) actually allows
for something new, for creation itself, of ourself.

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Yes! This was the mystery, and the “compressing” allows for the creation of
(the appearance) of more-than-one, in various particle-self constellations, a la
sacred geometry.

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YES! That was precisely the question that evoked the further unfoldments for
me :-)

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I apologize if I failed to apprehend your meaning! It is indeed exactly so,
as you say!

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I put the word (Non-) in parentheses to hint at the paradoxical nature of
That, that we are both Being and non-Being simultaneously. It (we) can indeed
appear predominantly crystalline, though we don’t always :-)

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This visceral knowledge and freedom only came with the moment of Awakening,
though certainly in retrospect Witnessing, GC- and UC-type experiences certainly
contained and imparted all of the crucial pieces of the puzzle. We just hadn’t
put it all together yet!

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FWIW, such was certainly not my understanding with all the experience which
came before, including the Witnessing, kundalini, OOBs, unity and god
experiences, and even merging with the Solar Angel. In retrospect, it was all in
a sense still (subtle) attachment to experience and immersion in spacetime,
though the Solar Angel at least brought us to the center of all that.

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Hmm! You know, at the time, I probably could have equated it thus, and that
would have been true enough, though perhaps even more predominating at the time
would have been the utter paradoxical slipperiness of Us/That, Our/That’s total
transcendence of — while including and embracing! — all
intellectual/perceptual/experiential categories or descriptors. The more recent
appreciation of the ecstatically holy, heartbreakingly beautiful, utterly
perfect “crystal bodies” of the people here within that all-encompassing
crystal-field of Us, appearing as a result of loving particle-work, is more what
I was originally thinking of! But I guess it really all just more of the same,
from a different angle, isn’t it? :-D

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It is a loose, shapeshifting reality, isn’t it? It is for me, anyhow.
Ignorance, Sleep, Dream, Waking, Transcendence, CC, GC, and Unity — all exist
in us simultaneously; we are NOTA — none of the above. Each state or stage of
consciousness is by definition concept- and time-bound, and so is but a
spacetime slice of and through consciousness itself, or ourself.

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Awakening (for me) involved the loss of the wave into the ocean, and the
realization that all of this was THAT, that THAT alone IS. This was not (for me)
“merely” CC or Baby-Awakening, as the Witness or separate-Self was now dead!
(Long live the Witness!) Dissolved into the Ocean and all THAT!

Rebirth on Earth was no longer required; that was immediately obvious. And yet,
intense (Non-)self-instruction continued, for in true paradoxical form this was
both an utter end and a completely new beginning. It was clear that all
unfoldments from here on out were from the (Non-)self to the (Non-)self.

About a year later, it became much clearer that not only is all of this THAT and
THAT alone IS, but also, that THAT compresses into THIS, and in so doing
actually becomes more than THAT! THAT ocean actually delights fully in (and as)
THIS wave! THIS is THAT with personality, charm, twinkle, bliss, light, love!
The personal God is now actually GREATER than the Impersonal One! Every wave
completely contains the Ocean! The Ocean has multiplied itself infinitely!

One might be tempted to map this as CC to GC, but I wouldn’t, as it was
fundamentally obvious here that it is all THAT, the paradoxical (Non-)Self,
always has been. Just more unfoldments or infoldments of (Non-)Self to
(Non-)Self, is all. In the unfolding relationship of the Nothing-field and the
Everything-particles, we find ourself to be a personal God to ourselves, and
thereby learn the rudiments of Universe administration from both ends, as
creator and as creature. As in GC here our perception is refined, but unlike in
GC, we are not wholly trapped in the spacetime of experience “happening” to us;
no-one outside ourselves is doing the teaching or “happening” or refining to us;
we are reconnecting ourselves across spacetime and refining our own perception
by refining our own sensory devata-particles them- (or our-)selves. The Domes
(for example) are enormous ongoing particle-accelerators by, of and for our own
body, whether or not any one of us actually chooses to be there “in person.” The
fact that many of Us in the Domes may still whole-heartedly identify only with
being a creature-particle subject to spacetime is fine; the Grail-work, the
alchemical refinement or smelting of our body, still gets done.

………………………………………

Yes! And not just this world, either! And they are Us! :-D

………………………………………

Yes, that exquisite hollow-crystal-vase in bright sunlight is a wonderful image
and appears to be what remains when we have erased all or unconditionally loved
all of a given lesson-plan of superimposed duality-programming. As to whether
that particular perception will be permanent at some point, if/when all the
lessons are done, it that is even possible — I have no idea!

………………………………………

Yes — that was something I could not understand until some time after awakening
— that the individual Is actually the Universal, compressed! The Absolute with
Personality! Each wave is actually an intense focus-point of the entire Ocean’s
bliss/light/love, expressed from and as a particular angle!

………………………………………

Yes, Jim!

I like the analogy of the ocean and the wave. Somehow we close-up our attention
to identify only with the wave, and somehow the wave gets to thinking of itself
as standing alone and separate from all the other waves and from the ocean, and
even perhaps that the ocean is nonexistent, or (even worse perhaps)
nonexistence. And when the identification with the wave suddenly backs up and
shifts to identify with the ocean, at first we may not even be able to find the
wave which used to be “us”! But the wave remains, along with every other wave,
which are now understood to emerge from Us.

And (here’s where the analogy may break down a bit) every wave contains the
whole pattern of all of the waves, as if the entire ocean with all its waves is
coalescing over and over again into every wave….

………………………………………

Yes, of course I knew you immediately, tart — your flavor is in one sense
eternally and distinctly your own! But I don’t see or mean to imply that I saw
anything nefarious in your change of name or new incarnation. Yes, absolutely, a
new incarnation indeed! For this is also true — our relationship has evidently
changed a good deal in the intervening years. Congratulations to Us — I really
love our new look! :-)

………………………………………

Works for me! :-)

………………………………………

Hey, tart! Good to talk with you again. A rose by any other name, right? :-)

Sure, quite right; no one of us has exactly the same approach-vector, and terror
is not always an issue in our various approaches to Being/nonBeing. My intent
has been not to inflict terror where there is none, nor to hold it up as some
sort of criterion, but rather to support it and confirm it and Love it where it
Is, just as I support and confirm and Love rage where it Is. Terror and rage in
themselves — i.e. held in Love — are as perfectly holy as everything else, but
terror and rage that are denied OK-ness and demonized, become, well, demons! Not
that there’s anything wrong with that, of course!

………………………………………

*lol* Yes, I was thinking that too. However, if memory serves I have seen a
number of instances in which the so-called separate “I” which thought it ran the
show became terrified as it approached the “annihilation” of the void and was
falling into the “black hole,” and/or watched its memories shred away into
no-thing. It can be terrified as it begins viscerally to realize What is really
running the show, and how incredibly insignificant — virtually nonexistent —
itself appears by contrast.

The terror may appear to remain as long as the “I” viscerally believes it is
separate and also has significant outstanding attachments and unfulfilled
desires, as in “my hut! my hut!” :-)

When the so-called separate “I” has surrendered into the ungraspable perfection
of what IS, it may realize immediately it never had been actually separate, or
had a separate existence, and the whole idea of separation appears very like a
bad drama-dream of empty time-bound logic of “in-here” vs. “out-there” which it
had superimposed upon the ephemerally eternal and nonexistent, omnipresent
emptifullness of Being, of the Heart which contains/creates/dissolves Us All.

And if the Heart creates and sustains Us All, it also creates the terror of
separation; this too is viscerally as perfect and love-wrought as all the rest
of Us, if we but take the time to appreciate it. It appears that all seeming
resistance is also only Us, Love unappreciated; every enemy an old soul-mate we
had forgotten and thought we hadn’t met yet.

Pogo rules!

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