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Dear Rick,

Many thanks. On quick perusal, the discussion you mention looks like the same claim _____ brought up on FFL a few years ago, as he repeats his assertion that someone actually videotaped the interaction I had with Robin Carlsen in October 1982 (which I described on rorygoff.com, http://rorygoff.com/open/rory-goff-a-spiritual-autobiography/1980-%e2%80%93-1982-initiation-4-crucifixion/). If so, it’s news to me. I recall no cameras there, and the group was relatively intimate, say 20 people, sitting around in a typical Fairfield Victorian parlor or living-room. But who knows? I could be wrong. Like Alex, I wouldn’t mind seeing that particular interaction on tape, though unlike Alex I wouldn’t consider it worth paying for :-)

I did not know Robin Carlsen well. I was not looking for yet another guru and was not one of his followers. I attended only two or three of his meetings, and spoke with him probably three times in all: twice very briefly and once at more length, at the interaction I described above. So I am certainly no Carlsen expert, but at least in my brief exposure to him I never saw anyone undergoing, as _____ puts it, “the most bizarre contortions while undergoing Carlsonian exorcisms, some like [sic] they were being dragged across the room by some unknown force.” In my admittedly limited experience I found Carlsen himself to be generally spontaneous, engaging, compassionate, honest, lively, enthusiastic, dramatic, and funny; his followers for the most part seemed quiet, reverent, and both unassuming and uninspiring.

While I would probably be more cautious now in my judgment, at that time I did feel Robin evidenced possible imbalance both in a self-aggrandizing guruism and in an apparently-fearful focus on the “resistance” of the demonic. (Though sometimes horrific, the demonic I understood and still understand to be nothing but aspects of our own denied or rejected shadow-Archetypes — it is not actually resistance at all, but Self or God-essence or Love denied. It is the natural result of the “Not-Me” thought which precipitates one from Shiva or Post-Brahmanic Cosmic Consciousness “down” to Krishna or Post-Brahmanic God Consciousness as one churns the galactic ocean, refuses to drink the Dark-matter “Not-me” Tamasic poison, slings it on someone “else” and takes sides and indulges in a divine/demonic dream.) But I also found Robin’s razor-sharp and brilliantly compassionate attention at that meeting freed me from an unconscious identification with an age-old suffering small-self identity, and paved the way for Totality to remember ItSelf as the perfection it has always been. For that I shall always be grateful to him — as I am to everyone of Us, when I consider what perfect masters we all have always been in showing ourselves exactly what we most need to learn in each moment.

Feel free to post this on FFL if you like…

All Love, Light, and Laughter to All of Us Always and All-ways!

Rory

* * * *

My pleasure, Rick, and thanks for posting my response!

I noticed that my spelling of “Carlsen” was corrected to “Carlson” on FFL. In the interest of accuracy you may want to change it back. I believe I misspelled his name as “Carlson” in my autobiography; it generally appears online as “Robin Woodsworth Carlsen”.

Also, for the record, I would like to add that both my then-assessment of Carlsen as “imbalanced” and of Carlsen’s followers as “uninspiring” reflects far more on me and my own psychological space at that time, than it does on them — as do all of my assessments of everyone. There is only One of Us here.

Feel free to post this too, if you like — or not, as you please…

LLL,
Rory

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AFAIK: As far as I know

ATM: At the moment

BC: Brahman Consciousness: The 5th State of Predominant Consciousness, characterized by the dissolution or surrender of identification with the individual I-Am or Solar Angel or Causal Soul (identified with in Pre-Brahman Unity Consciousness) into the Great Immensity, the ISness of Now, the paradoxical That-Self. In its more ripened state of Post-Brahman Unity Consciousness, the 6th State of Predominant Consciousness, That-Self expands from the Causal to include the Manas, or lower Mind, and Buddhi, or the Intellect ripened into Intuition. That-Self has then supplanted the entire tri-partite individual Mind or Soul, and is aware that it can know anything it truly desires to know.

BTW: By the way

CC: Cosmic Consciousness: The 2nd State of Predominant Consciousness, characterized by awareness of Self as the Witness of automatic Action.

ET: Extra-terrestrial

FF: Fairfield, Iowa, home of Maharishi University of Management (M.U.M.), previously known as Maharishi International University (M.I.U.)

FFL: Fairfield Life, a Yahoo Group started by Rick Archer of Fairfield, Iowa

FWIW: For what it’s worth

GC: God Consciousness: The 3rd State of Predominant Consciousness, characterized by Celestial or Blissful Sensory-Perception. 

IIRC: If I recall correctly

IMHO: In my humble opinion

KC: Krishna Consciousness; Karttikeya Consciousness:  The 7th State of Predominant Consciousness; Post-Brahman God Consciousness.

MC: Maharishi Consciousness: The 8th State of Predominant Consciousness; Post-Brahman Cosmic Consciousness;

MMY: Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

OTOH: On the other hand

POV: Point of view

PsOV: Points of view

SC: Shiva Consciousness: The 8th State of Predominant Consciousness; Post-Brahman Cosmic Consciousness;

TB: True Believer; Tyrannical Buddhi (a Buddhi or intellect not yet ripened into unitive intuition, but habitually discriminating to support a self-righteous ego in an “I-vs.-Thou” or an “Us-vs.-Them” separation)

TC: Transcendental Consciousness; the 1st State of Predominant Consciousness

TM: Transcendental Meditation

TMO: Trancendental Meditation Organization

TM7: The 7 states of consciousness as taught by the Transcendental Meditation Organization: Sleeping, Dreaming, Waking, Transcendence, Cosmic Consciousness, God Consciousness, Unity Consciousness. The last four of these are the first four States of Predominant Consciousness in the Rorian model.

UC: Unity Consciousness: The 4th State of Predominant Consciousness, characterized by identity of Subject and Object; particularly the mergence with the personal God, Solar Angel or Causal Soul.

UFO: Unidentified flying object

 YMMV: Your mileage may vary

 

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Rick Archer created the Yahoo Group Fairfield Life  (FFL) around 2000 A.D.

There is a funny story about how Rick and Tom Traynor found Rory Goff on the web and invited him to join FFL and Wednesday night Satsang via conference call.  I will wait until Rick can post the story in his own words.

I include here the posts that Rory wrote, which are available for free at FFL at Yahoo, but include here for convenience, and maybe jumping off points for discussion.

- Rena

Posting December 2003 on FFL:

Thank you, Rick, for creating this site, and inviting me to join! And thank you, Vashti, for sowing the seed when you first told me of Rick’s site some months back! I am so pleased and honored to be here in “Virtual Fairfield.” And say what we like about MMY (and  I have said plenty in the past), I would probably never have met any of you who have meant and continue to mean so much to me, were it not for him. For the untold wealth of such satsangs, my deepest thanks. Love, Life and Laughter to us all! — Rory

  • 2010 February
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  • …My apologies, all, for overposting. I too relied on the
    evidently all-too-unreliable Yahoo advanced search, which repeatedly
    assured me I had posted only in the mid-20’s, when the actual count
    must have been at least 25 higher by then. When I thought I was still
    safely under 35, I was actually at 56. It looks as though e-mail or
    hand tallies are the only ways to go here.

    The forced “time-out” has shown me, though, that there really is no
    common ground here on FFL — the fundamentally paradoxical “Knowledge” or “Unknowing” remaining when all beliefs are discarded, is consistently taken here by those who have not done this work, as simply another fundamentalist belief. Understandable, but evidently a waste of time to discuss further. Might as well stick to movies and martial arts and other subjects within the Matrix :-)

    So could you unsubscribe me, please? So long, and thanks for all the fish!

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    …I love You; You know where to find me :-)

    ………………………………………

    I can see how it would look that way, Rick, but with the time-out I
    just realized I am spending waaay too much time and attention here,
    and I just can’t afford it. I tried unsubscribing via email with no
    result, and was hoping that actually being off the list would be a
    good way to quit this “addiction” cold-turkey. It has been an immense
    lot of fun, and I am really grateful to you and to everyone here, but
    the cost/benefit ratio has simply gotten too out of hand.

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    …While I generally feel very much at home in the company of Tom and
    Peter and Jim — they often appear to understand me, and I them, in
    ways you patently do not (not that there’s anything *wrong* with
    that, of course! :-) ) — I can honestly make no claim to being
    enlightened, or ignorant, or some combination of the two, or no
    combination of the two.

    Even a little genuine self-inquiry IME quickly reveals the “I” to be
    not… not anything. Saying “I AM” is OK — barely –, but following
    it with anything at all — even “enlightened” — borders on
    blasphemy, on hubris, on taking the Name in vain, on identification.
    (Again, not that there’s anything wrong with that…)

    And yet, because “I” am … not, by the same token “I” contain it
    all. There are “I”-particles in my field who are more enlightened
    than I can imagine, and particles who — to put it gently — show a
    lot of room for improvement, and need a lot of love *right now*.
    That’s the way it’s always been, and that’s the way it’ll always be,
    as far as I can see. :-)

    I believe I have gone over this with you before, pointing out on
    (several? many?) occasions that I am not “in Krishna Consciousness,”
    or “in” any other state of consciousness — rather, they are all in
    me. That’s all pretty basic, and simple, and self-evident, and
    obvious, IMO.

    But of course, this could not have escaped your crystalline
    intellect, magnanimous heart, and brilliant recall, so I guess you’re
    just twitting me…again…:-)

    By the way, I think “complacent” comes from the Latin cum-placere, to
    (be) please(d) with … I hopes this takes some of the sting out of
    calling us-yourself complacent! :-)

    *L*L*L* Always and All-ways

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...blah blah blah]

    Rory wrote:

    blah blah blah

     

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on quote comparison with Rory..."Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ."
    ~  Mahatma Ghandi]

    “Was it something I said?”

    – Rory Goff

    :-)

    …I suppose it might apply *if* I claimed to be a Christian, *and* if
    you knew Christ personally (whatever that might mean), *and* if you
    knew me personally, *and* were competent to compare and contrast us, none of which I am currently prepared to admit

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s my understanding that the historical Jesus was essentially a
    fictitious character (probably based on Apollonius of Tyana) created
    by Josephus for the Flavians to counter the Messianic
    Jewish “problem.” However, given the way things work out over time, I
    think it’s a fair bet that both your understanding and mine are
    probably almost completely wrong :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Guru Dev and Christ share characteristics one would expect in an 'enlightened'...]

    “Characteristics” and “expect” being the operative words. In my
    view, it appears as if you’re spinning out fairy tales and then
    falling hopelessly in love with them. You and New seem to be much in
    the same boat. New actually said (more or less) that he is looking
    for “role models” to “pursue”! This left me so speechless — we have
    such an apparent void of understanding between us — that all I could
    say was blah blah blah, in hopes that this would convey the utter
    impossibility of conveying the inconveyable. Apparently it failed –
    what a surprise :-)

    [Comment on:...in spite of the claims you make about yourselves...]

    What claims are these, exactly? I readily admit that in the past I
    have said here, “I am enlightened and so are you.” This was the
    closest I could then come to conveying the inconveyable. Now, with
    many thanks to Judy and Nagarjuna, I have come still closer: I am not
    enlightened, nor ignorant, nor both, nor neither. In other
    words, “leave me out of it!” :-)

    …Many thanks for your post — it was easier to reply to than New’s,
    which got so convoluted I had to surrender into blah blah blah :-:

    ………………………………………

    …and if you can refrain from bringing up my name here, I can probably
    refrain from boring you any further.

    So long, and good luck with your pursuit of virtues!

    ………………………………………

    …I have no issue with “pursuing a role model” if one allows
    oneself to do it wholeheartedly and with total surrender HERE and NOW,….

    It is the use of one’s “pursuit of virtues” to studiously avoid the
    void while persuading oneself one is actually getting nearer
    to “enlightenment” that strikes *me* as unspeakably paradoxical!

    Here’s a fun quote I ran across after posting yesterday:

    “There seem to be two kinds of searchers; those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, i.e., holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could maker a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being.” — We Wu Wei (Spiritual Warfare, by Jed McKenna, p. 190)

    ………………………………………

    As for me, I’m enjoying the arrogance of the man who thinks he can
    tell another’s state of consciousness without even knowing his own :-)

    Please pass the popcorn!
     
    ………………………………………

    (worth repeating, with minor course corrections)

    …I have no issue with “pursuing a role model” if one
    allows oneself actually *catch* the role model: to do it
    wholeheartedly and with total surrender HERE and NOW

    It is the use of one’s “pursuit of virtues” to studiously avoid the
    void while persuading oneself one is actually getting nearer
    to “enlightenment” that strikes *me* as unspeakably paradoxical!

    Here’s a fun quote I ran across after posting yesterday:

    “There seem to be two kinds of searchers; those who seek to make
    their ego something other than it is, i.e., holy, happy, unselfish
    (as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand
    that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that
    there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify
    themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming
    aware of their eternal identity with pure being.” — We Wu Wei

    (Spiritual Warfare, by Jed  McKenna, p. 190)

      *L*L*L*
     
    ………………………………………

    Yes, and?

    I cheerfully accept all the ass-holiness, arrogant condescension,
    ignorance, and any other traits you wish to ascribe to me.

    So now what?

    Please pass the poison, it’s delicious!

    ………………………………………

    Maybe you should ask Wei Wu Wei or Jed McKenna, since I am not a self-proclaimed ‘enlightened’ guy, just an arrogant condescending asshole :-)

    ………………………………………

    Sure, if you like. An arrogant, assholey, condescending, ignorant,
    masturbatory, lame comedian.

    Got any more? :-)

    Arrogant, assholey, condescending, ignorant, masturbatory,
    supremely UGLY lame comedian.

    Got any more?

    We can keep this up forever if you like, or until we run out of posts
    at any rate :-)

    ………………………………………

    I categorically and emphatically deny that I am any more ‘enlightened’
    than I am ‘ignorant’. Both, and/or neither, or you’re taking the Name
    in vain.

    …I *do* take delight in the scene; you’re absolutely right.

    And I am mocking you; you’re right about that too.

    And yes, it’s because you apparently think you’re going to
    get ‘enlightened’ by pursuing and trying to identify with values and
    standards.

    But you are right, I have nothing of value to offer you, unless you are
    willing to admit that after 40 years of study you know absolutely
    nothing of value, and are no closer to your goal than when you began.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Actually, I am wondering if you read my website very closely. I made no such claim.

    I *did* say that a lot of images and emotions floated up, which I
    tentatively identified as “past-life memories,” and which I eventually
    identified as Herman Goering’s, not Martin Bormann’s. At the time, I
    found this useful for making sense of emotional patterns I was then
    entangled in: moving through judgement, projection, disempowerment and anger, learning to embrace my (and everyone’s) innate capacity for evil, and to move from there into unconditional love.

    I am not prepared to say that I *was* Herman Goering, or anyone else for that matter, although I am prepared to say Herman Goering *is* a part of me, as is everything and everyone else.

    This feels indescribable because it’s a priori, but utterly loving-
    radiant-ecstatic if I choose to externalize and put my attention on it;
    thanks for asking :-)

    ………………………………………

    a) I do see a difference between Bormann and Goering, and

    b) I also said I didn’t know if I “was” Goering, but found
    the “memories” useful. I still stand by that.

    I have no objections to “being” Goering, or Hitler, or anyone else,
    you understand — I am just trying to be clear about the actual
    experience and its possible ramifications.

    I have generally found one can access whatever one wishes in the
    universe, to the degree one needs, by remembering it is all oneself,
    and by simply “being” it — “know by being” — which doesn’t mean one
    personally “was” or “is” the entity from a transmigratory standpoint.
    Many if not all so-called “past-life” or “future-life” memories are
    equally viewable as a kind of multisensory movie.

    In the end it is moot, I suppose, as one can learn from and heal from
    the experiences whether they are personally one’s own or not. That’s
    the great thing about stories — we make them our own, and derive
    entertainment and meaning from them.

    “Claiming” past-lives as one’s own however can have significant
    egoic/delusional pitfalls, particularly if one is tapping into
    someone famous, and as a rule I definitely don’t recommend any sort
    of entertainment as an addictive avoidance of one’s a priori
    emptifulness, or one’s unattended pain, though perhaps at times that
    is unavoidable :-)

    ………………………………………

    The bottom line as I see it is, all of these conjectures [past lives] still entail identifying with a self that believes itself to be *within* spacetime — if anything, adding to, embellishing that story.

    Hence, we might argue, essentially a waste of time, if one thinks any
    of this will actually free one from the pain of false-identification :-)

    ………………………………………

    IMO and IME, hell *is* the hotline to wisdom

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Perhaps he meant it was spin in that I didn’t directly answer the
    question of what if felt like at the time the memories came up
    to “be” Herman Goering — as opposed to how it feels now, which is
    what I answered.

    I believe I covered most of those emotions pretty thoroughly in the
    website. IIRC they included relentless cheerfulness, greed and
    poverty-consciousness, intense anger, feeling utterly betrayed for
    following a false (and crazy) but highly charismatic Messiah, feeling
    the exhausting brunt of contempt and scorn from head-to-head
    confrontations with (the woman who appeared to be the reincarnation
    of) “Rommel”, love of (the woman who appeared to be) “Karin”, and so
    on and so on. All extremely intense at the time, almost a dream now,
    25 years later. All of this arose in the year before “dying into the
    emptiful void” and were resolved in the 2-3 years following –
    something like a purgatory, I guess.

    Practically nothing compared with the monstrously arrogant, know-it-
    all, self-appointed-lord-of-the-universe, radiant Brahma-ego I have
    been eyeball-to-eyeball with and wrestling for the past two years,
    that’s for sure :-)

    *lol*

     

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    It isn’t where my head is at now, but I respect where it was then. Perhaps you missed my later post addressing some of those emotions etc.

    …The indescribable externalizing into love-radiance-ecstacy *is* how it generally looks now. That is not to say I have not been working on
    other ego-issues, as I’ve also mentioned in another recent post. As
    far as I can tell, the work never ends :-)

    ………………………………………

    And I have been describing the understanding of the unconditioned I
    with the simultaneity of spacetime as my projected bodymind — of the
    necessary balance in bind-identifying with none while upholding all — as clearly as I can. I apologize if it sounds smarmy or naive or
    sentimentally Barneyesque to you; that’s certainly not the predominating flavor on this end :-)

    ………………………………………

    (I am speaking of all the “worlds” present in our bodymind, here and now.)

    There is no escaping the facing of one’s demons if one is to gain
    freedom, as far as I can see :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Can you learn cosmic knowledge from anyone?]

    Why not? I took it from a “robot repeating the knowledge by rote” :-)

    …Sure, a crashing boar even :-)

    Seriously, I’ll take it wherever I can get it — a rock, a drunk, a
    dog, an angel, a demon — it’s all the same, with different “spins”.

    And FWIW I am now far more an ordinary man on the street than I ever was before, though I have a good deal of “specialness” to dissolve yet, particularly in this medium :-)

    ………………………………………

    At this moment, it [the-next-step] appears to simply be more of the same — healing and integrating (or dissolving), healing and integrating (or dissolving), becoming more and more less and less, if that makes any sense.

    No-i-tu Love = Evolution

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I actually didn’t even know how deeply I was enmired in a subtle
    miasmic fear of *everyone* until I “died/awoke” and noticed for the
    first time its *absence*!

    Go figure!

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    It’s pretty easy for most to do so, I think; all we have to do is let
    go (at least temporarily) of the belief in the limiting power of
    spacetime, and trust the subtle body-messages we get. May not be sight; may be any sense or “knowing.”

    I did a lot of work (well, a lot of work by *my* standards, which have
    always been pretty slack) with the dead shortly after “waking/dying.”
    At that time, I was also doing a lot of “channeling” of the Love/Bliss
    of my “higher selves” and on some subtle planes our apartment had a
    huge column of light standing in it, which seemed to attract quite a
    few confused souls from a number of different time periods.

    The work mostly consisted of giving them loving attention, telling them
    they were healed and forgiven, one with their Light, and showing them
    where the Light is. As they move into it there is often a palpable
    lightening of the atmosphere, an infusion of sparkle, like ginger-ale.
    I also used to communicate with them for the bereaved for some years
    afterwards.

    I can’t say that work has presented itself to me much at all in the
    last decade or so.

    …I can’t really say I have never met an ordinary person, or an
    extraordinary one! (Plus, every person is actually a hierarchical group-
    mind of countless billions of selves, and every person is a particle of “Us”.)

    (And as they are all particles of “Us,” when we give them our
    attention, they are immediately bathed in that Light, and usually
    realize their innate and ecstatic non-existence as “Us”.)

    …Many are actually “asleep” for several days after “death”, and many more are “in hospital” for some time after that. Others go directly into the Light/Bliss/Love, or whatever “mansion” they most desire/need. Some go through *gut-wrenching, heart-breaking* remorse immediately after dying, sometimes for what seem to me to be relatively minor refractions. Others get swept up immediately into a giant angel. And so on…

    and realize there’s Spiritual work to do,…

    That [watching NFL and drinking beer] too can be and actually is “spiritual” work :-) Sometimes a lifetime or two “off” getting drunk is just what the doctor ordered!

    …No matter what their conscious attitudes, “We” are enjoying them,
    learning from them, growing from them, and so their lives are all
    equally “spiritual” to “Us.” If they wish to join “Us” in their
    appreciation of themselves, that’s good too — their choice!

    And again, from the simplest, truest POV I am aware of in this moment,
    we are actually only describing particles of the “Us”, here and now.

    Many thanks matrix — fun questions!

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    For me, something is “not OK” *in myself* when I realize it is an
    addiction trying to distract me from the emptiful “void” or from some
    pain I have not yet attended to. As soon as I can bring myself to
    fully attend to it, I do, and it dissolves as the illusion it always
    actually was.

    This process is not as easy as it may sound. It takes a great deal of
    courage to attend to those horrific parts of ourselves we’d rather
    project onto (and condemn self-righteously) in someone else. In
    truth, as I see it, there *is* no one else. The buck stops here. If I
    abdicate my responsibility for upholding the whole thing, I place
    myself in a disempowered victim role, and the price I pay for
    projection isn’t worth the small pleasure of judgement.

    (This is not to say I don’t *heartily* enjoy the role of creature as
    well as creator; if anything, being a creature is even better than
    being a creator, for being a creator is one’s ordinary self, and
    being an inifinitesimal creature one can fully appreciate the
    infinitely “immense” or “divine” qualities of oneself as creator.
    However, I never fully knew that until I allowed myself to be the
    creator, to uphold all of creation as myself.)

    As for what appears to be others, or those who hold themselves to be
    different from me, I do my best to work as quickly as possible back
    to unconditional love, realizing with gratitude they are showing me
    my own demons. Holding grudges, holding judgements, etc., only hurts
    my own physiology, causing blocks to my energy-flow and creating
    dis-ease and eventually disease. Again, I must emphasize that this
    process this *has no bearing* on what my actual behavior (which is
    automatic anyhow) toward them in realtime may or may not be. It does not mean if I see someone committing a “wrong” that I won’t act to stop it. Nor does it guarantee that I will. My actions do not always correspond with what conventional morality would dictate.

    …If a person is a serial rapist or a methamphetamine salesman, then evidently the doctor *has* ordered that up, to this point anyway.

    This is completely incomprehensible to the small self, I know. I
    would have reacted to the above statement with righteous outrage before I “died.”

    One doesn’t get this until one learns the full-fillment of surrender
    to the perfection that IS. It is not and will never be fully
    comprehended by the rational mind, or the intellect, because the
    intellect’s function is dualistic and distinguishing: hence, cruder
    and more relative than the Self appreciating and surrendering into
    the Self, which is what we’re talking about here.

    …we’re not talking about logic here. Logic is essentually dualist; it cannot comprehend the paradox of Being. Love
    it all (and be it all) or truly love none of it (and think oneself
    apart), that’s about as close as my logic can come to describing the
    immensity and our logical tendencies towards rejection of That and
    the subsequent ignorance we cascade into :-)

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Buckboard Annies]

    God, I loved that place! I lived right across the square, above the
    barber shop on the NE corner, and used to go there pretty often :-)

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    For some reason, most people I talk to *do* seem to be interested in
    what I say; maybe because of the relentless enthusiasm of my usual
    persona, or maybe they’re only being polite to a “crashing bore” and
    I can’t even read their body language; who knows?

    It was a rock who first showed me the intense ecstacy of being
    densely physical — the more apparently dense, the more intense the
    bliss, showing me another layer of the “spirit-and-matter-are-one”
    lesson — and another who showed me something of how *they* perceive Being in time. Another showed me how *s/he* too is a devotee of the Self. I don’t consciously commune with them all that often.
     
    ………………………………………

    Some of my most profoundly moving and awakening experiences have
    occurred after reminding myself of the illusion of spacetime, and that
    it is all here now, followed by encounters with some of our “space-cousins.”

    Not too long ago, for example, after remembering that my body contains all the stars, my attention was drawn to one in particular, and so I went there. Because the stars are all in my body, I knew the world seemed a little “troubled” but that I could go there in “Authority”, as an ambassador or emissary of the will of my Love. As I shrank in size or narrowed my awareness to approach a planet, it showed up startlingly bright, mottled turquoise and russet — less water than ours, smaller oceans and more evenly distributed. I realized this was a “real” or physical world, even to our ordinary sight, and asked its Earth-name so I could research it later. It said, “Ras…Tanni”. That didn’t sound familiar, but I made a mental note.

    To my slight surprise I was drawn to an actual building; it was a
    pyramid of huge stones rather loosely fitted. I dropped through the top into a chamber inside, where two biped beings stood. They were pale, tall, and shining slightly and it was a little difficult to see phsyical detail, but they looked vaguely saurian, reptilian. I greeted them slightly cautiously but in wholehearted Love-Will and showed them my concern that their system align itself with the greater good in my star-body. They readily and respectfully agreed.

    This was rather a profound shift for me. After I returned to and
    refocused on my “default” setting here, I went to the star dictionary
    and found to my suprise there *was* something like Ras…Tanni. Ras al-Tanni is a star in the Draco (Dragon) system, some say alpha Draconis, which I seemed to remember was a star some of the Egyptian pyramids were oriented to.

    I further noticed that after my encounter with the Saurians or Dracos,
    my DNA had further shifted, and still another old fear-program had
    dissolved.

    This is but one of the latest of a number of “enlightening” and heart-breakingly fulfilling encounters with various of our multidimensional cousins, all particles of our Self.

    Now, what your post brought up in me, Angela, is this question: I have
    often vaguely wondered — given how immensely fulfilling this all is,
    why don’t I do this on a more frequent basis? I know that I could if I
    wanted to, but I simply don’t want to.

    This is one of the oddest things I’ve noticed about “life after death” – - how progressively more difficult it is to summon desire, even for
    things that are at the time riproaringly fun and heartbreakingly
    satisfying.

    As I write this, I realize this may be what some seers have meant when they’ve said it is difficult to progress as rapidly through the subtler realms after death, as one just becomes too content with where one is to keep moving.

    Oddly, my “higher selves” said something similar immediately
    upon “dying” — they conveyed that I was completely free (this much was obvious and self-evident), but was actually half done (also pretty evident), had balanced 50% of my karma, and would no longer be required to incarnate on earth (putting the concepts in crude terms the remnants of my linear mind could get, I now see)–but that I would continue to die and be reborn on subtler and subtler planes as more and more of my karma was resolved. They said I was free to go ahead and do that now, if I wished, but if I physically stayed on earth, my progress through these planes would be much faster. Of course, I “chose” to stay. There really was no choice, as was clear enough even then :-)

    I do know immediately after “dying” I felt immensely grateful to be
    shown that there was more than the all-the-same-ness of ALL-That-Is;
    there was always a tiny bliss-point of desire-now somewhere in the body which showed where there was more to be attended to.

    It’s kind of funny, now that I think of it: the word “desire” comes
    from the Latin, something like “de-sidere”, of the stars (as can also
    be seen in our term, “sidereal”).

    Wow. Just now, for the first time, I *fully get* that etymology! A star
    is a bliss-point of my desire….

    HA! :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    I love Shakespeare, in very small doses — have written several plays
    with his inspiration.

    Though I know nothing at all, for certain, I absolutely love
    understanding him in the light of his having been Oxford — allows me
    to understand *why* and *how* he wrote much of what he did…
     
    ………………………………………

    I have to say, the one Raja I have had the pleasure to meet — Raja
    Roger at the Raj — impressed me deeply with the rosy unconditional
    Love of his Heart-field. We could not stop pranaaming to each other
    *lol*–

    Love Loves Love :-)

    ………………………………………

    The great thing about Fairfield for me, is it generally represents
    the best of both worlds — a kind of paradise (in the original sense
    of “enclosed garden” as well as “other world[s]“)-in-transition,
    where there are a multitude of kindred souls in a conducive
    atmosphere *and* a semblance of ordinary life for those who want it.

    …understanding evolution as *less and less* as much as *more
    and more* has been an interesting twist. I saw a bumper sticker
    recently that said, “To have more, desire less.” I thought at the
    time that would be rather difficult; it seemed easier to desire
    nothing and have everything, but upon reconsideration the original
    message makes a lot more sense now :-)

    I have never been especially sold on the 1% hypothesis, or for that
    matter south-door phobias or any of that — though I am certainly
    open to the possibility of phase shift, have seen it happen often
    enough that as I shift my whole universe shifts; and investigating my
    resistance to the south-entrance dogma unfolded vast new
    understandings of Shiva Dakshinamurti, “higher-lower” or “future-
    past” selves and “ascension” — but I do have to say I am newly
    impressed and grateful beyond all imagining with the Domes (not that
    I have been pulled to physically go there for more than 2 weeks, a
    year ago, but they most definitely *are* my “particle accelerators”),
    and with what MMY, my deeper Self, has created for me to enjoy here.
    It’s been more emptifulfilling than I ever could have dreamed :-)

    ………………………………………

    UAU, this is wild! I just realized that this whole phenomenon was
    essentially the “flip-side” of some much earlier experiences ocurring
    maybe a year after “dying” — when I wondered in meditation what it
    would be like to fuse the three primary Theosophical “Rays” of  Will,
    Love, and Intelligence, and immediately found myself inside a pyramid
    facing a column of fire with some trepidation: I realized I was
    expected to enter the fire, and that when I did, it would change my
    DNA. After some hesitation, I stepped into it, and was instantly in
    no-time-space, pulled up through the top of the pyramid into a portal
    vibrating OMMMMM so loudly it appeared to shake the whole universe; I
    was informed this particular frequency was my “soul-note.”

    The next day I repeated the inquiry and found myself going through
    the whole process again, this time going *through* the portal and
    into a Council of Masters — 12, around a central One with whom I
    instinctively identified.

    After that I saw how we all create world-events from this level,
    through conscious or unconscious collective deep-sleeping/dreaming
    and there deciding to “incarnate” or “dramatize” these events to
    express specific feeling-messages from our Master-selves.

    (I later realized that fusing the three “Rays” fused the Trimurti or
    the 3 gunas, of which the OM or A-U-M is the collective result, and
    still later found Freemasonic resonances of this experience in their
    Initiation of Raising one to be a Master, where the three “ruffians” -
    - JubelA, JubelO, and JubelUM — each possess a part of the Truth,
    which needs to be reunited — AOUM –.)

    So here we have the “recently-dead” me of 1983, entering the pyramid
    to encounter and surrender up, essentially, into the radiant-fire of
    the “now-me” who has entered down into the pyramid as an Ambassador of Love in 2005 or therabouts, all to change our reptilian DNA, all in “Egypt” or its direct counterpart, “Ras-al-Tanni or alpha Draconis” or whatever. *lol*

    This sort of thing has been happening a lot lately — the monstrously-
    arrogant fiery Brahma-ego *finally* became at least partially
    digested when I found myself acting out and *understanding* some
    behavior I had *detested* in MMY — his apparent favoritism towards
    certain students, apparently handing them his mantle: why not *I*,
    who was *certainly* at *least* as qualified and deserving as they??

    *rofl*

    *Now* I fully get it. It *wasn’t his choice,* any more than it is
    mine. My love and appreciation and at-home-ness flows most sweetly
    and fully to those who surrender most fully to me, to themSelf. It’s
    not a matter of choice; it’s a matter of heart; it simply IS. I had
    not yet fully surrendered to MMY; how could I expect to receive more
    grace than I got? It’s automatic! Now I see both sides of
    this “Master-Disciple” dance.

    This was what I was getting in the Domes too, last year — how
    my “Raam-Raj” or ordinary MMY-Self with the simplest of thoughts
    arranges all these experiences for my particle-Selves to perceive and
    enjoy and learn from and harmonize with, thereby increasing my
    physical integrity and shifting my world into more and more of an
    intensely manifest paradise.

    More and more, I see, it is a meeting, merging, wrapping up and
    fusing of all those parts of myself, past and future, “lower”
    and “higher”, who appeared to be stretched out over my personal
    spacetime…bringing more and more of them into Here and Now.

    And despite how all of this vaporing blather may sound, more and more completely and emptifulfillingly simple and ordinary :-)

    Thanks for listening, you ME(s). I feel as if I learned something of value today, and it’s all your fault :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* As a past dealer in used and antiquarian books, I was wont to
    consign book-highlighters to the seventh circle of hell, right down
    there with aluminum-siding salesmen (thank you, Woody Allen) :-)

    ………………………………………

    I can’t tell you how he [Raja Roger] appears to “others”; only to me :-)

    ………………………………………

    For me, the contents of the drama *have no bearing* on my appreciation of the actor; I don’t generally judge someone by how they “act” or, even less, by how others perceive them to be acting. I judge them only by how much they Love “Me”, how at home we are together in this moment.
    My love is unconditioned by action, by the gunas; it’s unconditional love. Its only condition is ItSelf.

    Selfish? You bet. :-)

    Deal!

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …these stories are just that — stories. Experiences and memories; no more, no less. They tend to stay pretty much the same over the decades, though I suspect with some memory-degradation over time.

    If you really care, you can see for yourself re the stories up to 1990 or so if you read the autobiography on artesmagicae.com. I wrote most of that in 1997, IIRC, ten years ago.

    ………………………………………

    That said, I *do* appreciate the opportunity to (re)write this old
    stuff here, because in talking to myself “out loud” here, as it were,
    new connections happen, as they did today — allowing me to appreciate the old “rubbish” in a brand new light, making a new kaleidoscope pattern out of random bits of colored glass.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    *You* run this planet, Angela, like all of “Us”

    IMO and IME when we cut ourself off from that understanding, we’re
    selling indescribabele Love for a minor rush of self-righteousness,
    fear, whatever.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s really not describable as celestial or mundane, day to day,
    Steve. If I tried to describe it as either this or that, exclusively “special” or “ordinary” in any given moment I would be lying: making up a false story, indulging in unnecessary duality. It’s none of the above, and simultaneously all of the above.

    It truly just IS; “we” just Is. I do the things that present
    themselves to me to do, in the time they want to be done. We flow.
    The universe and I are in love, surrendered, merged, in constant
    intercourse, and generally growing more trusting and loving of each
    other and accommodating on a pretty regular curve. But it’s also
    quite simple and ordinary.

    Other than what I am doing right now, I generally haven’t a real clue
    what is going to physically present itself in the next moment. It’s a
    lot like (what I imagine as) senility in some ways.

    If you’re interested in the nitty-gritty of the dream-drama, my wife
    and I currently have a great Victorian house in Fairfield, are
    selling the one in Maine, and we are working on a couple of books
    (histories of Fairfield, though I may get around to reworking and
    updating the autobiography and publishing it someday. The time seems to be getting riper for that, in my own understanding of the symmetry of the themes that have unfolded. My thanks to you guys on FFL for much of that.)

    I find myself in the Library for a couple-three hours most days,doing
    what I’ve always enjoyed — reading really old newspapers, taking
    notes and doing genealogy for the books. I often hang out in
    Revelations for a few hours a day chatting with my old and new
    friends. That’s an unexpected delight Life has shown us these past
    few years. We take trips every so often around the country, mostly to
    do research and explore.

    …Hah! Thanks. I do the best I can. It’s damned difficult to present
    this stuff as honestly as possible, communicating the beauty and
    impact *without* also implying the false glamour which people tend to
    ascribe to it. I fear I am as yet unable to honestly and clearly
    convey either the tangible ordinariness of the “celestial” or the
    divine immensity of the simply ordinary, both poles being always
    freely available.

    …Sweet! Many thanks; it’s a real pleasure to be here right now.
    Very good to connect with you, too, Steve. I think I get where you’re
    coming from; if I hadn’t experienced this “rubbish” I probably
    wouldn’t believe it myself. But FWIW it is actual experience, though
    that too is not other than poetry.

    You’re right about me; for a good many years, like many TMers I
    wanted to get up and out, away from the painful mundane, and
    experience the divine, celestial, cosmic, whatever. Fortunately or
    unfortunately, I had a “physiology” (as we used to say) that somewhat pandered to that “flashy” addiction. I was indeed pretty ungrounded then, though still going to college and grad school, holding down jobs, getting married, all that regular stuff.

    The root of that up-and-out impulse pretty much “died” along with
    everything else when I finally accepted to my great relief/chagrin
    that I am, it IS, and always had been, what I had been looking for
    all along, and my task now was to pull a U-turn and actually start
    living life here, now, *down in* the physical body, integrating all
    that other stuff with life on earth, to revivify the “dead man
    walking.”

    No experiences “out there” in the subtle worlds, no matter how
    celestial and enticing, and no “states of consciousness” could ever
    again entrance me as they (and the pursuit of them) had all done
    before, for I saw now that they are all temporary, all subject to
    spacetime, all reflections “out there” of extremely subtle thoughts
    or moods “in here”. They are not the source of our satisfaction; they
    are the mask of it (if we don’t know the emptiful void) or the result
    of it (if we’ve made our peace with and surrendered into “Us”.

    (Even though the root-cause of all addiction — my identification
    with a small “I” — was here exposed to the great destruction, all my
    petty character-qualities, habits, flaws, addictions, etc. have
    pretty much limped along automatically on their own almost as they
    did before, winding down gradually only as they come to my attention
    to be separated, attended to, and integrated-dissolved specifically.
    However, that process is at least actually perceivable and feasible
    now, where it was inconceivable and unfeasible before.)

    So, it’s kind of a joke in a way — now *all* experience is, and
    all “states of consciousness” are (and always have been)
    evanescent “mood-making” — but not as a *denial* of what is, as I
    used to define mood-making, but as an *expression* of what is:
    a “bhava,” an extremely simple and extemely ordinarily subtle mood
    of “Us” which is then expressed as experience.

    This can be ecstatic and/or horrific, of course, mundane
    and/or “celestial” — the content or labelling doesn’t really matter
    much at all, except inso far as we gain wisdom & insight as we
    arrange and string the glass beads, or at least perceive a pretty
    pattern in the beads, if we so wish.

    The more I relax and allow it all to BE, the more lovely and
    integrated a “face” it all reflects back. But basically, my life is
    almost describable as it has always been: still quite mundane,
    punctuated by moments of epiphany. The only difference is, it is now
    always basically all the same; it’s all always, all-ways only “Us”.
    There’s a basic contentment in that that I somehow overlooked when
    still trying to BE someone or something and NOT everything else … a
    hopeless task!

    Sorry this is so darned long; I don’t appear to have the time to make it shorter :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* I love you too! Many thanks for BE-ing.

    ………………………………………

    I used to delight in seeing and saying “Brahman is slippery!” but I don’t so much like the flip-side, being labelled as “slippery” or “hard to pin down,” because that too is another label, and the knower is prior to all labels, all descriptors, and there we go again with yet another descriptor. I *love* to imagine myself understandable and understood, but only the heart can really do that.

    Tom T. told me recently that Sri Sri What’s-his-name (no disrespect or
    respect intended; his name is “slippery” at the moment) said, “I lie
    all day and lie in bliss all night.” That’s pretty close *lol*

    ………………………………………

    There’s a fun question, Jim. Damned if I know. *lol* I want to say
    Yes and No (big surprise, there, huh!). Let’s see… What do I know…

    First off, I don’t experience the senses in exactly the same way as I
    (sort of) remember I did before “death.” In the most intimate sense
    they don’t run me; I run them (on cruise control), or better yet we
    dance together; so whatever is actually perceived is immaterial, is
    just Us: Unity or separation, they’re both absolutely OK; it’s just
    the particle/field, or creator/creature dance. But even as I write
    this, I am in error, because there never is an actual commitment to
    separation or unity as there always had apparently been prior. It’s
    all just a matter of degree now, a kind of rheostat of intensity, not
    an on-off switch; there is no on or off.

    That is, on the one hand, the movie runs on as always, but it’s just
    a frickin’ movie! I mean, I can get thoroughly engrossed in it,
    identify wholeheartedly with the actor(s), and/or I can appreciate
    and participate in the musical score, the staging and blocking and
    chemistry and timing of the actors, the scintillating or dumb
    dialogue, the various tragicomic plot devices, the director’s
    empathy, the producers’ influence, the special interests placing
    their products, the camera-shots and editing, and so on. But it’s
    always a movie that we’re all playing with(in). The seamlessness
    or “unity” runs deeper than the senses, or the moods, or any of that.

    If I can put my attention there as a desideratum (star-point-desire),
    yeah, there’s either unity or something that probably needs my
    attention to be dissolved into unity. If I don’t put my attention
    there (and I usually don’t), then who knows, and who cares? Who can
    say?

    I think it may be important now that a number of us (within the
    movie) wake up at least enough to give ourselves permission to feel
    and know our star-body, to the multiplicity of worlds within us, to
    realize that our consciousness determines our ability to meet and
    interact tangibly with our “space-cousins” and “time-cousins”,
    because it looks as if the time has finally come (within the movie)
    for Earth to come out of quarantine and join her intergalactic
    family. This should be a lot of fun, and I mean a LOT of fun :-)

    *L*L*L*
     
    ………………………………………

    I wanted to come back to this for a moment, Steve — how could we “sense much authenticity” if we didn’t in some manner already know the truth?

    IMO you “sense much authenticity” because you know me; you remember where I’m coming from and you and I resonate; in a sense you’re aware of a “place” where there is only one of Us :-)

    …”It’s only a movie…it’s only a movie…” :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Yes, and Steven Greer’s story (which sounds like a good one) is
    there are also pysch-ops involving faked ET’s to *create* terror,
    support yet more industrial-militarization and loss of liberties,
    etc. Could well be. That’s why (like Steven) I’d like to emphasize
    the consciousness-attunement part of Contact. Harder to get fooled or
    misled in any meaningful way when we are primarily perceiving from
    the heart rather than merely through the senses.

    …if we are doing concentrated “Raam-raj” particle (desideratum) work — if we are giving the particles Love, Beauty, etc., then when we collapse into the particulate perception it can be *overwhelmingly* Love, Beauty, etc., through the senses. But that seems to be the theme for me these days — learning to take more responsibility for the subtle, ordinary thoughts that *create* the experiences that “just happened” to us when we were locked in particle-I mode (i.e., before “dying”).

    We apparently tend to repeat an experience only until we “get it,”
    though, and after that there’s really no need; we’ve distilled the
    wisdom we were trying to show ourselves.

    [Comment on:...you are having a great time in Fairfield]…If pressed, I could probably tell myself a pretty honest story to that effect, yes :-)

    (Thanks for posting your music, that was impressive!)

    ………………………………………

    If you are perceiving me through your consciousness, then I think it is
    probably *your consciousness* that has the “more of the living
    technicolor,” no? Do you not contain what you perceive as me, and
    infinitely more?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    How do you define objective…? I have always been deeply
    impressed, shifted, healed, lovestruck and/or bliss-struck in meeting
    our counterparts; that in itself has generally been objective enough
    for me, as I’m kind of an introvert.

    Once around 1984 when playing/working with a “Council of Masters” to manifest the “divine will” into earth, we once had the desire to manifest our love-awareness visibly and watched as our consciousness appeared as “UFOs” to an airliner; IIRC that one was reported in realtime a few days later.

    Similarly, I have once also encountered apparently intelligent and
    definitely enlightening softly-radiant disk-shaped manifestations
    of “Us” which the three people (all channels, FWIW) with me also saw
    visibly and experienced directly over our heads, and in the same
    manner, as they interacted with us over a period of several hours (I
    think), and appeared immediately after we had attended an intro on
    Ascension, and while standing around, we had just asked ourselves
    what it would feel like to be an “Ascended Master.”

    As they shifted in and out of the visible spectrum while continuing
    the whole time to bathe us in the most “Pleiadeian” ecstacy I had
    ever known, they unfolded a far deeper understanding of “rheostat”
    nature of manifestation and the one-ness of spirit and matter, and
    for me were a kind of physical culmination of the “ascension” which
    had taken place on the subtle in that pyramid I spoke of the other
    day.

    I’ve spoken of it before here in some detail, and don’t really feel
    the urge to go into it yet again at the moment. If you’re interested,
    I wrote of that encounter in the autobiography at
    www.artesmagicae.com ; it occured late in 1986 just off the Glasgow
    road East of town, outside of Randy & Jane Hillner’s house between
    about midnight and the early hours.

    The mind-blowing intensity of *that* understanding took over a decade to integrate, and I’m actually *still* revisiting that one for further insights from time to time. *lol*

    Since then, I have had a number of other encounters, but not with
    other people in so-called “real” spacetime.

    Am I Sirius? As much as anything else :-)

    ………………………………………

    …probably the most mind-blowing thing about the 1986 encounter
    was there were four of us who all saw and experienced the same thing (including bodily levitation, dematerialization, star-presence, rematerialization and gravity waves, etc.) Though apparently the others, when recounting the story later to the Ascension teacher whose lecture apparently precipitated the encounter, provided her with less detail than I did.

    At any rate, this group consensus moved it out of the “vision” realm
    and into the “visible” for me and broke still more of the learned
    boundaries between spirit and body (or energy and matter), visible
    and invisible, gravity and levity, subjective and objective, etc.

    Others of my encounters more recently with subtle-field ships, beam-
    levitation, galactic council-chambers, etc. also tally closely with
    other people’s “dream” or astral, or physical reports. This has been
    serving to further remove unnecessary boundaries I had erected
    between “waking” and “dreaming”.

    Personally, though, I would probably still be very leary of so-
    called “space-phenomena” which did *not* exhibit such “rheostat”
    spirit-matter flexibility. Without it, it would still smack
    of “quarantine” technology.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    The original post seems to have disappeared, but it mentioned something about “millions of years” before we could attain alien-type consciousness and technology.

    Let’s not forget that though time is a lot of fun, it’s just an idea.
    Our consciousness already contains those “millions of years” and a
    whole lot more (or a whole lot less, if we prefer), and when we
    remember that, we can let go of the illusion our senses are insisting
    on and essentially *be* anywho, anywhere, anywhen we need, right Here, and Now. This is a kind of FTL, faster-than-light (and faster than time), approach to the Universe.

    “What *would* it feel like/look like/etc. if we *could* do this?” is
    often a great way to get around our inner spacetime censor.

    I’ve found it can be a bit iffy at first, like rusty water coming out
    of a long-unused pipe, but as we practice “channeling” our “future
    enlightenment” Now, trusting the presence in the crown (and the sacred-heart and the feet) more and more, we can “apperceive” this more and more clearly.

    As far as I can see, at a certain point this is the only way to *be*
    truly content :-)

    ………………………………………

    …In mine at the moment, there appears to coexist a sea of mutually-
    contradictory “simple facts” or data among which my inner preference,
    bias or “mood” automatically selects or “magnetizes” those which align
    with it, to support and sustain a world “out there” in consonance with itself.

    ………………………………………

    …it might seem to be an odd paradox, but I suspect if one moves far enough into *true* infinite  “Magnificence,” one may well eventually be satisfied with Nothing but surrender into the *true* emptiful indescribable; it would appear that anything that breaks our habitual belief in bondage to spacetime is a step in the right direction toward disbelief in everything :-)

    ………………………………………

    Apparently, one person’s “spontaneous [excellent] qualities are
    another’s “co-dependent moodmaking,” then, Vaj; or maybe you meant to say, “*our* group’s enlightened qualities are spontaneous and excellent; *yours* are co-dependent moodmaking”?

    Either way, one could probably make a good case for this whole line
    of thinking being baloney, along the lines of mistaking sattva (a
    guna) for purusha (free from gunas), or mistaking  “making it a
    really, really *good* movie” with actual freedom from belief in the
    movie.

    …Who indeed? If you still think you and I exist, then you do,
    apparently, as here I apparently am.

    Speaking of editing, perhaps you missed the editor’s gentle hint the
    first time around: the possessive of “it” is “its”  — not “it’s”,
    which is only used by the literate as the contraction of “it is.”

    ………………………………………

    Apparently, one person’s “spontaneous [excellent] qualities are
    another’s “co-dependent moodmaking,” then, Vaj; or maybe you meant to
    say, “*our* group’s enlightened qualities are spontaneous and
    excellent; *yours* are co-dependent moodmaking”?

    Either way, one could probably make a good case for this whole line
    of thinking being baloney, along the lines of mistaking sattva (a
    guna) for purusha (free from gunas), or mistaking “making it a
    really, really *good* movie” with actual freedom from belief in the
    movie.

    ………………………………………

    As to your statement, Vaj, “Yes and my understanding (perhaps not of
    publishing genre) was that it’s ok per casual anglais,” Judy would
    like to tell you (and I heartily agree) “that it’s not OK no matter
    how casual your anglais, unless perhaps you’re spray-painting it on
    the subway walls.”

    And in response to your statements, “I don’t live by my c. 1977
    Norton Reader or (heaven forbid) a dictionary” and “I’m just an
    ordinary being,” Judy points out that “Many utterly ordinary beings
    have no need of the dictionary or Norton’s Reader of any vintage to
    know the difference between a possessive and a contraction.”

    :-)

    (P.S. It looks as though you’ve apparently chosen yet again to ignore
    the main point of the post: the distinction between sattva and
    purusha, or judging “it’s a really, really *good* movie” vs. actually
    freeing oneself from belief in the movie. While I enjoy sattvic
    behavior as much as the next guy, judging anyone’s behavior
    as “enlightened” or “not enlightened” would to me fall into the
    category of judging the quality of the movie.)

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Judging a person as “enlightened” or “unenlightened” by his or her
    behavior is somewhat like judging an actor in a movie as being a
    genuinely “good” or “bad” person *based upon one’s response to the
    dramatic role s/he happens to be playing in the movie*, when the real
    issue is whether the spectator even knows s/he is watching a movie.

    Except it is even funnier than that, because it’s not just a movie,
    it’s a mirror, so we could see the whole judgment-process as more like
    the canary pecking away at his own reflection.

    I don’t know much about logic, but I imagine one could call it
    a “category error”.

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …Another thing about that canary-pecking-at-the-mirror
    analogy — When we consider that the mirror completely surrounds and
    encases the canary, it could also be called an egg. And how do we get
    out of the egg except by peck, peck pecking at it?!

    *rofl*

    ………………………………………

    I don’t haplessly identify with the discriminator as I did before “dying,” as THAT or the “Me” or the Self is behind discrimination, behind buddhi.

    In another sense, that’s quite untrue, as you may recall I
    have “discriminated” into your sloppy thinking here on FFL, which
    oddly enough appears to be about when you stopped seeing me as a semi-enlightened “friend” whose experiences you claimed to like to read, and started seeing me as a “moodmake-y, unconvincing” asshole.

    Of course, I am both, or neither.

    I repeat, “I” can make no claims to enlightenment or ignorance, “I”
    can make no claims to anything but having “died”, and even that from
    some POVs must be untrue, as here I apparently still am.

    As to shakti over the internet — some get it, some don’t. I couldn’t
    care less either way. I think it’s been pointed out many times on FFL
    that even the most inveterate “shakti-junkies” *still* manage to
    avoid “dying”. No great suprise there — who would purposely trade
    all those great kicks for absolute Nothingness? Only those who have no choice.

    I am only here to (metaphorically) cut off your head, dance on it,
    throw your corpse into my fire, consume it utterly, and scatter the
    sparks to the breeze, and why would you want that unless you *knew* just how much suffering your head was causing you?

    I do not wonder how or why you so sedulously manage to ignore me.

    I’ll wait.

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    I don’t know about MMY, but that video totally cracked me up; I haven’t laughed that hard in years. I almost choked on my tongue!

     

    In part, I think, it’s a cautionary tale because in making overt claims
    of “Invincibility” and “elimination of all negativity” and all that,
    they are really speaking of extremely subtle, interior, “Raam-Raj”
    particle-loving and one’s consequent integrity and harmony; of the true marriage of Purusha and Prakriti, but this video illustrates how hideously distorted those understandings can become when misinterpreted, misunderstood and misapplied by a separate small-mind, one that has not yet “died.” And I’m not speaking of the audience.

    The way the “Raj” treated his “particles” in that video — dully
    repeating “Invincibility,” over and over, like a mantra, and *louder*
    and *louder* to drown out the objections and consequent chaos, trying to get all his particles to sing along (which they do automatically, “Vedically,” when one is in harmony with them), refusing or unable to actually speak to their concerns, was a perfect example of the tyranny of “Brahma-raj” — the fascism of the ignorant-I — rather than the intimate sweetness of “Raam-raj.”

    David Lynch, OTOH, was a very impressive example of “Raam-raj,” I thought.

    It was brilliant theater, truly brilliant.

    And again, I am *not* judging the depth or breadth of *anyone’s*
    actual “enlightenment” here, because there is no one here to
    be “enlightened,” to judge or be judged in reality: only appreciating
    aspects of my own understanding or lack of it, as illustrated by the
    *actors in the movie.* The “Raaj” did a beautiful job acting out the
    attempts and strategies of the unripe or not-yet-dead mind to control
    its environment. “Lynch” did a beautiful job acting out the ability of
    the “dead” to Be Here Now; to listen to feedback and begin to harmonize one’s particles. Each played perfectly off the other.

    They’re both perfect; both in reality just momentary fluctuations of emptiful Nothing, of “Me,” of the Self.
     
    ………………………………………

    …It’s only natural to see Death as the ultimate Demon to be feared,
    resisted, denied, trivialized, and ignored. I mean utter death,
    not “death of the body or subtle body but my I-ness lives on” denial.

    But I’ve never yet met a Demon that can be conquered by running away from it or denying it. The only way to “escape” the Crone is by complete surrender, by intercourse with Her — that’s the way to sovereignty. “Support of Nature” without utter surrender to Nature is half-baked tyranny and yet another ego-fantasy.

    It’s interesting to see how universal the “spiritual advice” is that we
    can’t really live until we have died. Until we *know* and accept utter
    futility — utter meaninglessness, utter sameness, utter evanescence,
    utter emptiness, utter Nothingness — our so-called spiritual path and
    progress is just play-acting: avoidance mechanisms, addictions to
    palliate and ignore the Here and Now.

    ………………………………………

    …Actually, I think it’s “hear, hear,” if one wishes to be truly pompous :-)

    ………………………………………

    …You’re right. Things are still *far* too confusing and out of kontrolle.

    To macht things truly in ordnung, wir mussen find a way to make dem posts appearen in triplikat!

    ………………………………………

    …From here, arguing about “meaning” and “distorted traditions” or
    attaching any “meaning” to any “tradition” is completely laughable:
    just another way to deny the emptiful meaninglessness of one’s a priori Death and attempt to cling to self-importance, judgment, specialness — a complete waste of time and misuse of discrimination, IOW.

    OTOH, in retrospect I see TM was an excellent “anti-addiction addiction” for us as it showed us how to transcend, or die, again and again: how to effortlessly give up control, again and again, until we were finally ready to face and surrender to the Big One.

     

    And you’re still misusing “it’s” too.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …In THIS context, any “tradition,” even a “practical” one is baloney. We don’t die by acquiring more and more, we die by ourselves, naked and Alone.

    ………………………………………

    Just dropping a friendly reminder that until we accept its [death] presence wholeheartedly as Here and Now, our spiritual journey has not truly even begun.

    ………………………………………

    Certainly looks like it, doesn’t it? “Life is wasted on the living.”

    *lol*

    But there’s one thing I’ve learned here: the living can not really
    see the dead, and the dead cannot really speak to the living.

    To us the so-called living are like ghosts — i.e., the dead who
    refuse to acknowledge they are dead, because of some attachment they still hold to earth, some overriding past-memory or future-desire keeping them out of Here and Now. We can speak to them, but they refuse to hear.

    The dead can only be truly heard by the dead, or, on rare occasions,
    by someone on their death-bed.

    Then they can see us, and we can serve as a welcoming-committee, as
    was my pleasure with you :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Nor is it at all likely that any “spiritual” practice — liturgic,
    yogic or otherwise — that *avoids the inner work* will lead to
    enlightenment.

    From my point of view, that’s absolutely OK.

    It is also a “waste of time” *if* one thinks one is going to “get
    enlightenment” by pursuing some means that allows them to distract
    themselves from embracing the reality of their own death Here and Now.

    And that’s perfectly OK too.

    ………………………………………

    On the one hand, you’re quite right; no emotion is a substitute
    for “enlightenment”; nothing transitory is a substitute
    for “enlightenment”. On the other hand, you’re killing another straw-
    man. I claim no experience as “enlightenment.” Nor does Jim, as far as I can see.

    It would appear you’re still managing to ignore me, as I repeat yet
    again that Death is the door to Life: everything false must die;
    the “eye of the needle” can accept nothing but Truth.

    No experience, no “tradition,” no concept, no belief, no attachment,
    no “I” can survive the Long View. Death is a sculptor/sculpture,
    carefully chipping everything away that is not Real. And that’s every “thing.”

    *After* Death, now — that’s different! But you’re in no position to
    evaluate any of that until you Die. Surrender to the Crone, and then we’ll talk.

    ………………………………………

    I haven’t meditated for 25 years…

    ………………………………………

    Great question [Who's 'me'?]; let’s keep asking.

    [Comment on: Can't answer?]

    Not if there’s a you who’s asking me, no. Duality is a lie.

    Each of us has to chip away all the lies, all the beliefs, all the
    concepts, to find the answer for ourself. Remove all the Untruth, and
    the Truth is what’s left.

    That’s what it means to Die.

    ………………………………………

    …Valuing “Hours long samadhi” is still just clinging to
    another experience, nothing whatever to do with Death or Life,
    really. Contrasting and comparing the “hours long samadhi”
    with “anything else” is just another good/bad duality of
    attraction/aversion.

    Death shows us that the relative and the absolute are the same, that
    samadhi and not-samadhi are the same, spirit and matter are the same, self and not-self are the same, inner and outer are the same, and so on…

    And from *this* place, experience shows itself to be as eternal as non-experience :-)

    …someone looking for more or longer samadhi is pathetic, just another addict looking for his fix. Anything to escape that nagging sense of futility and failure, eh?

    *lol*

    …If it’s an experience, it is not Real or True. If it can be defined, it is still not Dead enough to Be of any value.

    ………………………………………

    …your interest appears to be attacking something or somebody that only exists in your head.

    ………………………………………

    …Who, indeed [is writing, if you are dead]? You want me to spoonfeed you the answer? Can’t be done.
    Find it for yourself. Die and find out. Who is “me”?

    …I have identified who “me” is, but I can’t tell you, if you think you are other than “me”. “You” have to find out for “yourSelf.”

    …It’s not logic, because logic like language is based on duality — either/or. I am prior to either/or, prior to discrimination. “Atman”
    is subtler than “Buddhi”.

    So yes, the words are meaningless, in that they cannot directly convey the Real or the True, but they can help to chip away what is not Real and a Lie.

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtIXg7MzPUY ]

    *lol* Brilliant! That’s “us”, all right :-)

    ………………………………………

    Oh, I don’t know; I’d say he’s pretty close here — his main hang-up seems to be he still thinks samadhi is “special”.

    ………………………………………

    (And you’d better make sure to add a super-duper extra helping of “phwam!” so it will be nice and *special* for him…)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...An unreal spewer of non-truth]

    PHWAM!

    This IS the best description of ‘me’ EVER!

    ………………………………………

    ADHD + Alzheimer’s = “Line on Air.”…

    ………………………………………

    Joseph Atwill’s “Caesar’s Messiah” provides the most convincing
    evidence to date I’ve seen that Christianity was invented by the
    Flavian Roman emperors as a device to curb the Messianic zealotry of the Jews.

    ………………………………………

    Not IME. Death is the great equalizer.

    ………………………………………

    FWIW, today is the start of Winter in the “Rorian” Taurus-Equinox (T-
    E) Calendar, when the Sun enters T-E Capricorn. This is the month of
    the Indigo Mason, or Crone: Kali, Cailleach, Loki — Saturn as Binah
    the Sterile Mother — she is the Critic, the Stonecutter, chipping
    away all identification with the unTrue and unReal. She is Death to
    all that is impermanent.

    These first 2.5 days of Crystal-Month are especially interesting,
    when her mate the Violet Alchemist (Jupiter, ruler of T-E Aquarius)
    slays his father, the Golden Solar Creator (Baeli-Braehim), by
    blinding his right eye: as the Sun is the right eye of the Cosmic
    Person, the death of the sun is the transcendence of the right eye,
    or “masculine” pingala-current. This story finds echos in Loki’s
    instigation of the slaying of Baldur the Beautiful with the spear of
    mistletoe, Lug’s slaying of Balor of the Baleful Eye, “St.” George
    (Gae-ourgi, “earth-worker,” but more accurately “Molten-metal-
    worker”) slaying the fiery dragon, and probably Odysseus’s blinding
    of the Cyclops and Samson (Shamash-On, Sun-God)’s blinding and
    captivity in the “mill” of the North (the heavens turning about the
    pole star).

    For us personally, it is a commemoration of the slaying of our
    radiant Brahmic-ego, or Solar Angel, for its excessive pride. Not
    surprising, I guess, that this issue has been lively for us again of
    late …

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …I am not claiming to have vanquished *my* excessive pride; only that it has been an issue of late, and I didn’t even realize I was playing out the drama of my own calendar-system!

    And anyhow, the Brahmic-Solar-ego descends into the Northern
    Underworld in a fortnight, and is reborn again around Dec. 24-25, and so on and so on…nothing lasts forever, not even Death :-)

    ………………………………………

    I think Judy has pointed out could not function in this world without
    *some* discrimination; after “Death” it simply is not predominant, more like a fine, multi-colored oil-layer of variety on an ocean of ThatSelf. Call it “leshavidya” if you like, or simply keeping one eye on the movie :-)

    ………………………………………

    You saying I’m full of Bull…winkle?

    No argument there :-)

    ………………………………………

    …This simile still implies that the “oil-slick” and the “ocean” are in someway different though, and that’s not true.

    ………………………………………

    More accurate would be that old analogy of the ocean’s depths and the minute vibration of its surface waves.

    More like a constant collapse-and-return of the unbounded into the
    particle(s) and vice versa, with the particles’ being essentially
    nothing but “programmed” unbounded; unbounded dreaming and acting out a “what-if” or “let’s pretend” scenario.
     
    ………………………………………

    *lol* “Saving the world….one particle at a time!”

    (DISCLAIMER to ANY and ALL of mySelf: The above is only a joke, an
    obsolete program, a work of fiction, which does not in any way reflect
    any true belief, attitude or opinion of anyone, or of no-one. More
    truly perhaps, there is no world to be saved, hence no savior(s) and no savee(s)…nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so)

    ………………………………………

    You can pretend anything you like, crusty or not, as always :-)

    …I believe I have made it abundantly clear I am “just pretending,”….

    You may take any role you like, as always :-)

    ………………………………………

    “Braman is slippery” — MMY said it, too, so it must be true :-)

    Seriously (more or less), what do you expect of “something” that is
    subtler than either-or, a priori to language?

    How many here understand that the Self is prior to discrimination?
    Mmm?

    … Almost everybody.

    ………………………………………

    The memory of non-self remains, by which and through which the Self
    knows itself as the Self. It’s not that *all* discrimination vanishes,
    necessarily; it just no longer predominates. It now serves the Self, rather than obscuring it.

    ………………………………………

    But “to know itself as Self” is not like any other knowledge, which
    is indeed dualistic and based on a comparison, on an either-or discrimination.

    That’s why this Self-knowledge is so mind-blowing — literally. It is
    so ordinary and so special, so still and so dynamic, so Dead and so
    Alive, so *this* and so *that* — so slippery, so concrete, so in-
    your-face paradoxical. Literally unimaginable, literally unspeakable.

    Yet it IS; I AM.

    Discrimination cannot capture it; discrimination can only surrender awe-struck.

    ………………………………………

    YES — “Understanding” is probably a better word than “Knowledge” as
    Now we both figuratively and literally Under-stand ourSelf, and it is
    truly and simply a whole-body BEing.

    It is the rock-solid bottom of the inquiry, Under-standing itSelf :-)

    ………………………………………

    I wrote a paper on this very subject while working on my Master’s at
    Harvard Divinity School… That was in 1980 or so, right after
    constant immersion in the omnipresent gold light/angels/deities/blah-
    blah-blah of “Unity” and immediately followed by 2 years of Dark Night.

    I wonder if there was a correlation *there*?

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    (Dis/claimer to any and all of mySelf: Please, please, please — plunge
    into the Dark, if that is where (y)our inquiry takes us! The True Dark
    is not “bad” — or “good” for that matter — it is not even Dark
    because of an absence of Light. It is Dark because it is *faster than
    light* — outside of the bubble of illusory spacetime. That where ourSelf lies, Truly :-) )

    ………………………………………

    …the omnipresent gold-light/angels/deities/etc. would be the subjective (and by that I mean “real”) equivalent of attaining lightspeed and essential identity with the laws of nature; with further acceleration the inevitable onset of the Dark if resisted (and it usually is *lol*) with belief in stories, concepts, etc. brings suffering, as all resistance = suffering. Kind of like trying to crawl back into the spacetime womb, resisting one’s own birth. But afterwards, we can “program” the particles and superimpose whatever story of duality they/we like on the emptiful-indescribable, but without that bind of identifying belief and consequent resistance, there is no suffering.

    ………………………………………

    IOW, because we know we are “nothing” we can give our particles
    ANYthing they desire (desire = of the star(s); particular).

    Our simple, ordinary thoughts are just thoughts to us, but they are
    concrete, physical, divine mandates to those particles/gods within us
    to whom we are “God”, and who make up our space-time physiology or body-mind.

    By honestly attuning to our desire-particles, bestowing grace on them,
    and listening to their feedback, and adjusting our subsequent grace-
    bestowals to meet their needs, we comb or align them into harmony with us, into integrity, converting the resistant or “demonic” aspects of ourselves into coherent or “angelic” polarity.

    Thereafter as we fluctuate from “nothing” or boundlessness
    into “particular” or spacetime bodymind, our bodymind now projects the paradise we have programmed…as it was always meant to do, and has been faithfully doing, ab principio *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …by the bye, OMGAkashaNewMonitor, I seem to remember that you
    recently claimed you found me boring and didn’t wish any further
    contact with me. Have you changed your policy, or was that or this
    but a momentary lapse, a verbal eructation as it were, indicative of
    a smidgen of mental indigestion, a bit of undigested beef?

    In any case, not to appear elitist or exclusive or anything, but it’s
    a pretty fair bet that what I have recently been discussing with Jim
    will be of no real use to any who haven’t yet embraced their Death in
    the perfection of the Here-Now.

    I could be wrong of course, but I don’t think one can truly
    appreciate a star-particle point-self and its potential as
    emptifulness collapsed unless and until one has actually surrendered
    into emptiful Nothing. The Unsurrendered/Unrealized would tend to see it as just a fairy tale.

    “End of story!” *lol*

    ………………………………………

    Yes — I would write to you privately, but I do have a clear feeling
    these dialogues are actually useful to others of Us as well.

    …*lol* Couldn’t say, Jim, but God knows, I remain somewhat “humbled
    and embarrassed” by a good deal of my own thoughtless and immature behavior, both before and for some time after Death.

    I am constantly astonished at the sweet forgiving depths of
    understanding, love and grace in Him/Her, the “Deep-Me” against whom as a particle I so often believed I was rebelling:-)

    ………………………………………

    …I replied to your post in which you had said I and others are making
    claims to enlightenment, or higher states of consciousness, or some
    such sweeping inaccuracy. (Again, even several years ago when I had
    said, “I am enlightened,” I also added, “and so are you.” This has
    always been my thrust here; I have not claimed “enlightenment” as a
    better-than-thou state, as you appeared to imply.) When I responded
    to your “defamation,” asking you to leave me out of it — I can make
    no claims to anything but to having “Died,” I believe you replied to
    the effect that I bored you and you didn’t particularly wish to
    converse. I said that we were in agreement then, and if you could
    refrain from bringing my name up here again, I could probably refrain from boring you further.

    I perhaps incorrectly assumed that your not wishing to converse with
    me would actually include your not responding to my posts.

    …Within the movie, I exist, I create, I destroy, I feel, and I am (sometimes) deadly serious about those who resist me, particularly with this type of evasive and snarky dishonesty.

    …Feel free to re-open the lines of conversation if and when you decide
    to “get real” about your feelings, instead of using Monist
    slipperiness as an excuse for snide remarks, which are in turn AFAI
    can see apparently an excuse for denied rage. Not too surprising in
    view of your past-stated belief that “Brahman” despite its wholeness
    must somehow exclude the quality of rage :-)

    And yes, I *do* realize I am as always only talking to mySelf!

    At the moment, I am playing St. George, lovingly spearing a
    particularly slippery dragon-coil of my DNA, a piece that has
    fearfully and hatefully eluded my attention until Now. There’s
    the “dragon-story” you asked for!

    Nailing me and loving it! :-)

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    You just said, “To me, anything with words is a story. Even OM / AUM
    has its story — and is a story. If you take your stories so serious as to believe them to be something else, then, as you please.”

    If so, typing “Nice story” is redundant and meaningless, as it’s
    equally applicable to all conversation, isn’t it?

    So what did you really mean by the phrase? Are you trying to dismiss
    my observations of our interactions *within the story*?

    It just sounds to me like more of your snidely dishonest “advaita
    shuffle,” anything to avoid real introspection and Self-Work.

    ………………………………………

    Go Know yourself,… — and I don’t mean just in the Biblical sense :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Not to do the “advaita shuffle,” or anything, but I am not at all convinced that there *is* “someone besides yourself,” or myself, or whatever. How could we ever know?

    ………………………………………

    I am certainly not surprised that it’s clear to you, Judy, as you
    obviously Understand that (y)our consciousness contains it all, but I
    must say I am a little surprised that another “Dead guy” claims that
    he doesn’t get the “self-evident” bigger picture which Davies’ work
    so clearly points to.

    Maybe Dr. Pete has forgotten what the world looks like to those who
    ain’t No-one yet?

      :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I mean to say, “maybe you have forgotten what the
    world looks like to those who don’t know they are No-one yet?”

    Questioning the hitherto-unquestioned assumption that there is an
    external order to which the Universe conforms, is *huge*. IMO it shows a consciousness beginning to actually become aware of itself and its own participatory role in universe-manifestation.

    ………………………………………

    …And I don’t mean this in a purely intellectual way; his words *actually
    tickled and stirred Me* bodily. He is becoming a knower of Me, of That-Self.
     
    ………………………………………

    …A Knower of the Self *is* my Self.

    At present most people look/feel like love/light/bliss-points in me,
    which if drawn to do so I either pay attention to and watch
    them “warm up” or “lighten up” or “quicken” (as is usually the case
    nowadays), or else “incarnate” and experience from the inside out, if
    need be (which is actually quite seldom nowadays), and in either case
    only to whatever degree is appropriate.

    In Davies’ case, he was *not* a bliss-point at all; he was right from
    the start an entire field, a significant portion of me. Not my Self,
    exactly, but … definitely tickling in that vicinity *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …I don’t know about Shotokan, but I’d say you guys are about equally tied in higher-belt rants :-)

    ………………………………………

    Sorry; I was *wondering* if that sentence construction might not be all
    that clear. Simply meant incarnating or manifesting through (the
    various bodies of) another, coming up as a different wave of our ocean
    so to speak, to experience something of how another experiences Life –
    also useful for tickling the bliss-points in another’s physiology, to
    help facilitate their moving through their painful (mis)interpretations
    of that bliss, so we can meet and enjoy the bliss together. I think
    Patanjali 3:37 describes this briefly. All very much like what you were
    describing, I believe.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I had a *lot* of fun with it, thanks :-)

    ………………………………………

    Ahh, but you see, Jim, he *is* condemning *you* — trying desperately
    to find and prove “flaws” in you so he won’t have to look up to you as
    a role model, which is what he thinks you want!

    You remember how that worked, don’t you? I had forgotten, I admit, but FFL has beautifully reminded me of how the separate self still thoroughly identifying with buddhi has only two near-automatic choices in any given moment: me-better-than-you or you-better-than-me. That everything-utterly-perfect-everything-the-same US we essentially take for granted is anathema to the identified self; still sees it as Death and boredom and so on…

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Well, I just see it as what discrimination DOES — it is always
    deciding which alternative is better. That’s its job. It applies
    itself to everything. And when the unrecognized Self identifies with
    it and is obscured by it, there is no appreciation of the underlying
    perfect-USness everywhere, and so it creates nothing but misery. In
    fact it thrives on it, fights for it, as it feels it would have no
    reason to live if everything really IS perfect. The old “great
    servant, lousy master” routine. Gotta love it! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …True that. But I kid you not; these guys have as much as said so,
    many times. It would be tragic if it weren’t so funny, or vice versa :-)

    ………………………………………

    You watch; right now those Buddhis are interpreting *even this*
    conversation as elitist, special, attention-grabbing, unconvincingly mood-makey, etc. etc. etc.

    They *have to* or *they will “Die”* .. and identified-Buddhi is not at all psyched about the prospect of being dethroned, not until it
    actually comprehends the unceasing misery of identification with aversion-desire/spacetime.

    Said it before, I’ll say it again: Life is wasted on the so-called Living :-)

    ………………………………………

    Here’s the really funny part. They are so terrified of the coming
    tyranny, terror, fascism, and torture “out there” and completely
    unaware that the coming nightmare is Disneyland compared to the
    absolute tyranny, terror, fascism, and torture they are subjecting
    themselves to every moment — voluntarily trading their birthright not
    even for a mess of spinach, but for a handful of burning nettles — and congratulating themselves on the trade.

    ………………………………………

    Anything “out there” is Disneyland, period. If it really matters, I
    remember war. I am still standing amidst the ashes, rubble, bones,
    and stink of an incinerated Germany and knowing nothingness, and
    utter humiliation and failure to protect my people.

    What’s going on “in here” is far worse: because it has a sugar
    coating, allowing us to ignore a far more horrendous and insidious
    tyranny that robs us of utter freedom, doesn’t allow us to have a
    truly clear thought, or perceive clearly that we aren’t actually
    free. And again, I’m not speaking of mere political freedom. I’m
    speaking of a thought-control so subtle we aren’t even aware that
    it’s there or that we’re fearfully chained by it, until it Dies.

    We’re afraid, all right.
     
    ………………………………………

    AnyOne of Us who can listen…? If what I say doesn’t resonate for
    you, feel free to ignore it, of course.

    FWIW I too am really moved by your great heart, Curtis, and I wish
    you nothing but the best.

    ………………………………………

    I’m not here to keep quiet about what I see, or to lie to you to make
    you feel better, if that’s what you want.

    I’m here to tell the truth as simply and as clearly as I can — I feel
    I owe you that much.

    ………………………………………

    You mean, one of Us is not threatening your Buddhi-tyranny at the
    moment, and the other two of Us are?

    You’re just like Vaj, aren’t you? You want us all to keep quiet, to not
    rock the boat?

    “The only good Dead-guy is a dead Dead-guy!”

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    …all things being equal, I like a movie with a nice pat (fat) happy Hollywood ending, like all “dumb Americans” (I am not implying by these quotes that this term or idea is yours; I am merely laughing at us a little) :-)

    But it’s still only a movie, and to be bound to a nice movie is
    infinitely worse — INFINITELY worse — than being free in a nasty
    one. We can truly *enjoy* the nasty one if we are free, for freedom is bliss. We cannot truly *enjoy* the happy one if we are bound, for we are bound in fear.

    …Truly, I don’t know how to say this any more clearly, I am not at
    all “enlightened,” as the word is apparently commonly understood.
    That’s only an I-max movie too, as far as I can see. I am just a
    simple ordinary guy, or better yet, virtually nothing at all. I’m dead; that’s all. :-)

    And I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but it is in — and out
    of — love and laughter and compassion that I am being as truthful as
    I can in speaking out (where I have at least a remote chance of being
    heard) and pointing out the “tyrannical conspiracy” that lies around the heart of things — just as you do.

    Love You,

    R.

    ………………………………………

    Not enlightened, just doing the best I can, with the narrow set of skills at my disposal :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yeah, yeah, Ma, I get it; don’t rock the boat, go along to get along,
    you gotta be polite to get ahead in the world, when am I going to get
    a real job and make you proud. It’s just not me. But thanks for the borscht :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I love how the flea sits on the elephant’s rump, thinking it can control the elephant :-)

    …I know I am both, but it wasn’t until I saw the
    elephant’s ass that I realized that the “I” that I had thought I was,
    was only a flea.

    YMMV, of course; I really can’t speak for you.

    …Actually, I am not assuming any superiority *over you*, Curtis; I
    never have. I know that you and I are utterly the same.

    I am asserting superiority *over Tyrannical Buddhi*. If you are
    reading my lines as put-downs of You, I suspect it is because you are
    momentarily identifying with Tyrannical Buddhi. (Or of course it
    could simply be because I am an arrogant asshole :-) )

    …and where for that matter did I say you weren’t “enlightened” ?

    …The only one-upmanship I am asserting is over *Tyrannical Buddhi*,
    not over You.

    …That is quite correct. I am not here just to shoot the shit and
    compare different realities. I realize this may look “fundamentalist”
    to you, but BTDT, and it’s a waste of time. There is no real
    conversing with Tyrannical Buddhi, it only wants to lure Us into its
    mood-making stuporous haze with its logic and “reasonableness.”

    …Not a TMer, and any “higher states” I reached were a complete
    fool’s paradise. They were only useful in showing me what I *didn’t*
    want — which on reflection, was absolutely good enough, at that.
    Negative information is still information :-)

    …No wall whatsoever here, Curtis, except between me and Tyrannical
    Buddhi, and I can’t help that. It wants to be the boss, and it’s simply not smart enough for that :-)

    …I love you, man. I wasn’t kidding or making a put-down when I said I
    feel moved by your great heart. It’s awesome.

    ………………………………………

    It’s been 25 years since I saw that ’states’ were completely irrelevant.

    …It is civil and effective for those who are not resisting; for those who still identify with the Tyrannical Buddhi, it is seen quite rightly as an Act of War :-)

    …Here’s a little hint from me to you: If you are still resisting Us,
    then did you really let Guru Dev and MMY finish the job? If you
    didn’t, are you really in any position to judge which of Us is more effective at “liberating” you?

    Apparently we are *all* still failing miserably :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I repeat: Apparently we are *all* still failing miserably :-)

    As far as I can see, people either “liberate” themselves or they stay in bondage.

    “Death or cake? Oooh, cake, please!”

    *lol*

    ………………………………………

    Yeah, until we have the freeing dissociation, we can’t really turn
    around and see the story as love-light-bliss.

    Death isn’t an instant fix to everything, but it’s only after Death
    that the real “spiritual work” really *begins* — the alchemizing of all that old shit into gold.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Do you mean dance *of* the kleshas or dance *on* the kleshas, or is there a difference?

    Are you implying that those are the only two choices, quiet or kleshas?

    If there is a third choice, how would you know it?

    ………………………………………

    Me? No. I just liked your term “klesha-dance” and was open to hearing
    more of your backstory.
     
    …JOOC, have you ever used ice-packs to the skull and eaten meat and
    potatoes in heavy gravy to keep yourself from thinking too much?

    What would have happened if you had let the thinking run its course, I
    wonder?

    ………………………………………

    … I suspect we might find that “kleshas” and “quiet” are concepts
    built of nothing — but that believing in them serves nicely to keep
    the meaninglessness of Death away, and thus to keep one imprisoned by the Tyrannical Buddhi, but of course I could be Dead wrong.

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    [Comment on:...http://theomegashift.com/video.html ]

    Many thanks, Rabia! Despite and/or because of the oddly endearing
    Romper-Room-style presentation, I found this to be one of the
    clearest Understandings & transmissions any of my particles (mini-
    me’s) are currently giving of ourselves and Me (maxi-me) :-)

    *Love*Light*Laughter*

    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    …I completely support the indescribable perfection of the status quo :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...if you can heal your particles, why don't you?]

    I am doing this constantly, with the particles who actually wish to surrender into me :-)

    …Not everyone wants peace, and everyone is busily manifesting their own “paradise” from their actual desires. And really any time we are
    in pain and attack another, from believing in a “should” thought, a thought in rebellion against what IS, we ourselves are not at peace; we are contributing to war :-)

    …I am fully content with all these things as they are in this moment — I *LOVE* the way all these things are in this moment; it is all radiantly perfect, divine — simply because it all IS.

    Resisting what IS in this moment only creates stress and suffering. As BK says (slightly paraphrased), “I don’t argue with what IS; that’s God, and I don’t argue with God; I only lose 100% of the time!” :-)

    …my desires are generally pretty closely in line with what IS. When we passionately love what IS, then what-IS passionately loves us, and that’s how the desires we do have are miraculously fulfilled so quickly and easily  :-)

    ………………………………………

    Odd — I thought I was very clear! Maybe if I speak louder :-)

    I PASSIONATELY LOVE IT ALL, AS IT IS, and AS IT WAS, and AS IT SHALL BE. I MOST PASSIONATELY LOVE IT AS IT IS, in this moment, because THAT’S THE WAY IT IS, RIGHT NOW, and NOW is WHERE IT IS AT.

    …It’s not a matter of *my* choice — it’s the particle’s choice,
    always, to imagine that it’s not me, to explore its denial of me and of what IS, and consequently to suffer, for just as long and as intensely as it wishes :-)

    …any thing that we see as a “should” outside ourselves needs healing, for it is a thought that is denying what IS and thus is a lie. The bodymind knows it’s a lie because it hurts; it creates stress and suffering.

    Genuine peace and love and bliss are reattained when we Inquire, and
    through Inquiry see through and give up the lies and denial and
    external “shoulds” — as we realize they are all projections; we’ve
    been attacking illusory demons, ourselves and others, out of the pain
    and anguish we’ve been inflicting on ourselves through our false
    beliefs, that they all out there “should” be different.

    Something out there SHOULD be different:
    Is that really true?
    Are we really sure that’s true?
    How does it feel to think they “should” be different?
    How would we feel without that thought?
    Can we see any stress-free reason to keep that thought?
    Are the turn-arounds on the thought equally true or truer — are
    those detested qualities “out there” really inside ourselves?

    Anyone can react against the evil out there and act to change it, and
    most do. More power to them! But IME it takes real courage to root
    out the evil where it actually lies — in our own beliefs, our own
    thoughts. That’s when we truly end the war.

    Right action continues, as always. And IME the actions arising from
    Love and Peace and Bliss are infinitely more effective than those
    arising from pain and suffering and contempt and hatred — i.e. from
    false beliefs and projections :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    I actually was joking when I put it in caps, but I can certainly see
    how that may not have been clear, as although I put a smiley-face
    after it, I often do that, simply to attempt to convey the underlying
    bliss! :-)

    And I didn’t exactly repeat myself; I also amended my previous
    statement to include loving what was and what shall be — but
    emphasizing most what IS, as NOW is where IT IS; NOW is where the
    Work most clearly shows itself, where the most Love and Bliss and
    Consciousness lies wrapped up in illusion.

    Truly, anyone can love what isn’t; almost everybody in fact loves
    what isn’t, or what appears not to be; if this stems from a hatred or
    denial of what IS, it spawns action stemming from stress and
    suffering, pain and fear and anger and hatred and contempt — rajasic
    action, as it were, “acting out,” instead of clearly seeing and
    healing the root-cause. That’s fine, but IMO & IME there is no
    challenge there; one isn’t facing one’s own demons; one is attempting
    to change one’s hairstyle by combing the mirror :-)

    …I don’t consider there to be a fault; it is all perfect; it’s the way my particles are choosing to play right now. If and when they wish to end their suffering, they will tire of their play and surrender into what IS, and that will be perfect too, even for them/me.

    If you feel Iraq should be different than the way it IS in this
    moment, I invite you to Inquire more closely :-)

    …What makes you think I wish to leave it as it is? Nothing stays the
    same. I LOVE it as it is, and based on that LOVE, I LOVE what is
    constantly emerging :-)

    …Loving what IS, is the result of doing the Work and remembering the
    truth: Sat = Being = Love = Truth; it is its own reward. Remaining
    outside of Love in this moment, refusing to acknowledge the
    perfection of what IS, is any given particle’s own choice, which I
    LOVE and honor fully :-)

    …You wrote a great deal about how what IS is the rotting corpse of
    God, and so on. If you passionately LOVE the rotting corpse of God,
    excellent; then we have no argument! My error; I thought I smelled
    some rejection there, some “should be different” :-)

    …We’ve been over this point many times in the past few years; I guess
    I somehow haven’t been clear — I have said many times that I have no problem with change, with visions, with actions, with desires, with what could be and shall be. How could I? Life is change. I LOVE it all. Why do you think that somehow makes me want to resist change? LOVING it all is the perfect basis for change, the perfect foundation for change.

    …If you are exercising your divine right from a place of denial of Now
    and its consequent pain and anger and fear etc., IME your results
    will not be particularly divine :-)

    …this moment is what I am talking about Loving fully. It all starts Here, Now.

    …Who is saying we are restricting nature? Why do you think that Loving what IS implies stagnation? I have found precisely the opposite :-)

    …Comment on:…do you see me as advocating action arising from pain and …hatred?]

    Not if you passionately love the “rotting corpse of God” in this moment, with all your heart — otherwise, yes :-)

    …IME Loving what IS is not “quicksand” [staying stuck in what already happened]; it is divine heartfire :-)

    ………………………………………

    I see essentially nothing but indescribable perfection in you –
    utter bliss and passionate love and brilliant radiance, but that’s
    not really the point, is it? Does it really make any difference to
    you, what I see or don’t see? It’s how *you* see and feel Now that
    makes the difference for *you* NOW, doesn’t it? :-)

    ………………………………………

    Is that something I should do? Is it OK with you if I don’t ponder it
    deeply until I really GET it this time?

    Because it’s completely OK with me whatever you do or don’t do, or
    GET or don’t GET. I can live forever with you exactly as you are,
    *and/or* you can change and “grow” to your heart’s content; I am fine
    either way; you’re going to do whatever you please anyway, right? :-)

    …For me, there is no real difference between what IS and what is
    constantly emerging — except What IS, is crucial to what is
    emerging :-)

    …You wrote, and I quote: “Don’t Love what is, What is is a stinking
    corpse — something God has moved on from. God is on the move — Run, jump and keep up with It. Love the journey. Love what Isn’t — what Could Be….”

    I could be wrong of course — perhaps a grammarian could weigh in
    here –  but that “Don’t” certainly looks like a literal imperative
    to me :-)

    …But who cares about me, let’s talk about you.
    Should my words appear less “inertic”? Should I step out of my quicksand? :-)

    …Should I be less glib; should I rise to the wave in every moment and catch it? Is that true? etc.

    …I said, “*if* you are exercising your divine right from a place of denial.” Whether you are or not is for you to say, not me. I see nothing but indescribable perfection, but what good is that to you? What do *you* see?

    …So, there’s lots of inertia. I am down with that; how about You?

    …So, my words reflect stagnation. Should I be speaking or acting differently? etc.

    …YES — they [aghoras] LOVE me :-)

    …[Comment on:...Is heart fire like hell fire and bimestone?]

    Exactly! It may look and feel exactly like that until we look closer :-)

    Brimstone, anyway; I am not sure what bimestone is. Is that the new, improved, ertic brimstone? :-)

    ………………………………………

    But to be fully effective, it has to be OM Sri Sri Sri Getajob Namaha

    ………………………………………

    …I am still motivated to dynamically accomplish everything I wish to do, but it’s out of love, fullness and inspiration, not out of suffering or lack :-)

    …I take it as fact, because I’ve actually tried it [Byron Katie "the work"] and found it works, like many thousands of others :-)

    [Comment on:...research would be helpful]

    Like actually trying it…? :-)

    …”Don’t love what IS, what is is the rotting corpse of God” — priceless! A perfect recipe for continued denial and suffering! Talk about loving the status quo! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I believe I have mentioned here that I have time and again seen instantaneous manifestations of our desires on the global — actually, universal — scale. In fact, it’s become pretty clear that all of us are operating from that level all the time, only usually it is in what we might call the state of “deep sleep” (but which we might also call the causal realm), so we remain unconscious that all this drama is a fulfillment of our own writing, direction and production :-)

    …Everything affects everything else, IME :-)

    …Truly, that was the most brilliant joke I have seen here in a long time — pretending to be against tamas and inertia, while actually espousing it and loving it far better than I! I bow to the Master! :-)

    …IME the consequences shake the entire universe :-)

    …Yes, you have reminded me that it actually IS a lot of fun to laugh at myself! (If indeed you’re not laughing with me on this one.) I have to thank you for that too — Again, I bow to the Master :-)

    …Oh, trust me — You are providing me endless fun and delight and self-discovery! :-)

    …You’re very welcome; happy to be of service! And you have most definitely invigorated mine; many thanks for that :-)

    Love Us Always :-)

    ………………………………………

    …It’s not about me, it’s about you. Iraq is apparently a problem for you, not for me.

    The truth is, consciously or not, *I create and support ALL of it!* And so do you. That’s what “Loving what IS” is all about, IME.

    Discover it for yourself, if you want, or not, as you please :-)

    …you apparently want your “jail-house Wok” time to continue at any cost :-)

    …Yes, we have always remained beautifully “connected” — i.e., in
    bondage, addicted — to the outer phenomena: in the “cell-block,” as
    you put it, as we have for so long obeyed your age-old and stale
    imperative “Don’t love what IS” — I really couldn’t have phrased the
    ego’s rebellious stance of denial any more succinctly than that!

    Again and again I cheer you on — “Wok on, Jimmie Dean!” Rebel
    without a cause, indeed! :-)

    …Surrendering to THAT at every step, and discovering that’s US, Yes.
    THAT works for me. THAT will *never* be your trip, and THAT also
    works for me! :-)

    …If that’s what I am showing you, it does, and I am; thank you! I’m enjoying it all hugely from here; many thanks, again. :-)

    …Oh, I am not saying I have found you at the farthest shore, by any
    means — you are much closer to my center than that :-)

    …Yes, yes! always *in front*! That’s where we belong, right? NOW isn’t
    good enough for US! We DENY Now! We’re so Heroic, so — so DIVINE!
    No, BETTER than Divine, if the Divine is stuck in that poopy old NOW! :-)

    – not lamenting the dimished (aka”dead”) part of the
    > wave already past.

    Nor Loving it, right? :-)

    …As Rory once said, “The horror! The horror!” :-)

    …If we keep right on passing by, right on denying, what IS
    in favor of our dreams and illusions out in front, I’m sure we will
    keep right on providing ourselves with lots of playtime, lots of that
    same old story of *bondage & domination* forever!

    The jailhouse WOKS! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …”Here, let me control that for you!” *lol* Classic, Vaj…

    ………………………………………

    …This is a pretty good portrait of what our rebellious ego looks like,
    stripped of its hypocrisy, lies and denial. We could call it
    Luciferian because it hates What-IS, God, and thinks in its pride
    that it can do better — but IME/IMO any seed-impulse germinating
    from hatred and denial and contemptuous rejection of What-IS can only bear similar fruit, completely lost in the illusions and suffering spun out of addictive denial.

    One way to harness that Luciferian energy however is to dream big and bigger and biggest; to think big and bigger and biggest; think of how it COULD be, utterly, eternally perfect, and then to Will that this perfection must — since it is eternal — actually be Here, Now :-)

    ………………………………………

    And then, pay attention to and respond to — but *don’t believe* — all
    the inevitable objections that arise within :-)

    ………………………………………

    Actually IMO it is God pretending not to be God, pretending to be God. And IME we don’t tend to see the real core denial until we are strong enough to face it  :-)

    …IMO/IME both aspects need each other; if either denies the other we’ve got problems :-)

    …the ego thinks it has an antagonistic relationship with Us, with what IS — and so it suffers, and denies that it suffers. It’s all good from here, though :-)

    I’d love to continue on down through your great post, Curtis, but
    I’ve got other things I am called to do right now, so I am going to
    have to stop here. I very much like what you’re saying, though,
    overall — you and I are not IMO that far apart :-)

    …IMO *no* experience means much of anything; the key is to realize we “bigger” than that; we are the container of all of them; and of all of it :-)

    (Thanks again — later!)
     
    ………………………………………

    AMEN, brother! Hallelujah, indeed :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Yes, really raced down field, knocking down all those straw-men –er, “opponents” — almost as if they were *real*! :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s been a *great* pleasure knowing a fellow “knower of reality” here
    on FFL, Jim! I hope to meet you in Fairfield someday, or who knows where…:-)

    And to everyone on FFL — Many thanks for letting me get to know
    you/us; I love you all! It looks as though this will be IT for me for
    the forseeable near future — so, from the depths of my heartfire, I
    hope you have fun reaching for the stars …
    and discovering that they’ve always been inside US all along, Here and
    Now :-)

    * Love * Light * Laughter *

    Always…

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    …some scholars have hypothesized that the Biblical stories of
    Exodus etc. are (heavily edited and re-edited) accounts of
    a “heretical” Egyptian sect that after much civil strife and violence
    broke away to worship (and sacrifice) the Ram (Aries) instead of
    the “Golden Calf” or Bull (Taurus), not long after Aries replaced
    Taurus on the equinoctial cusp, and further equated “Moses” (Egyptian
    for “heir,” as Thothmosis, Ramoses, Ahmose, etc.) with Akhenaten, the
    heretically monotheistic would-be Pharaoh who led his people into
    exile.

    Perhaps interestingly, I encountered all this some years after
    cognizing/creating/remembering an “Eternal” (i.e., stable, non-
    precessing) zodiacal/tarot/chakra system *not* in lockstep with the
    actual constellations, and placing the Spring Equinox eternally
    between Aries and Taurus. This would now appear *perhaps* to be the primordial Egyptian system which was supplanted by the time-bound, ever-precessing system initiated by Moses/Akhenaten….

    ………………………………………

    “Ahh, welcome to Fairfield, Nablusos! It’s good to see another
    dedicated follower of Maharishi here. Before we give you your Dome
    badge, let’s just check your file … Hmmm. It says here you’re a TM
    teacher, a representative of Maharishi and his knowledge, yet you’ve
    gone on record as recently as last week publically espousing the
    spiritual teachings of someone else…. Well, we’re reasonable people
    here. Please obtain references from three Governors in good standing,
    and sign this paper disavowing all future support of this Benjamin
    Creme and his ‘Maitreya’, or…NO DOME FOR YOU!”

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    I am *very* happy with the way Fairfield has been evolving; it feels
    more and more free, spontaneous, conscious and loving — as if large
    numbers of people are freeing themselves of the fear-filled belief
    that they must pretend to be someone they are not in order to realize
    the Self. If their further growth entails exploring other avenues of
    spiritual inquiry, great! The more the merrier. Fairfield is indeed
    enriched by all the new currents of spirituality here.

    I have nothing but gratitude for the TMO however; they are doing
    their thing, and it’s a very good thing indeed for those who wish to
    avail themselves of it. My post was only intended to point out the
    irony that Nablusos is apparently advocating the continued monopoly
    of an exclusive club that he himself would not be allowed to join :-)

    ………………………………………

    “The world is as you are” — You Know Who :-)

    ………………………………………

    …personally, I think *everyone* is “on the same team,” whether
    they know it or not. I am just saying that as far as the TMO here in
    FF is concerned, if you’re a TM Teacher advocating *any* spiritual
    teaching other than MMY’s, you are not welcome in the Dome. And
    again, I have no problem with that; they have a perfect right to
    operate in any way they please.

    …Again, at present *you are not welcome in the Dome* if you are a TM
    Teacher publicly advocating any teaching other than MMY’s — whether
    you or I think they are “on the same team” or not is not relevant to
    the badge-keepers :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …Ahh, good! So now perhaps you can see why so many TM-ers have left the TMO — like you, they were drawn to appreciate avenues of spiritual inquiry other than MMY himself, and thus were no longer allowed to attend the Domes.

    …I am just pointing out that according to the current stance of the TMO, Benjamin Creme is not MMY, and is not a follower of MMY, ergo he is “other than MMY.”

    ………………………………………

    They believe they are thinking/seeing in “straight lines,” but
    their interior space appears to be automatically curved into pre-set
    denial patterns, so that their thoughts automatically “warp off” to
    either side to avoid perceiving the self-evident Truth directly in
    front of them. :-)

    …Of course, by this same token, I have no doubt whatsoever that I have similar “blind spots” or vasana warp-patterns I am as yet unaware of! Thank God we multiplied ourself so we can scratch each others’ backs! Ook, ook! :-)

    ………………………………………

    I couldn’t care less one way or the other about prosperity fences or what MMY says about them. As I pointed out earlier, I just bought a house in FF with a SOUTH DOOR. The horror! :-)

    …On the other hand, if someone with such a fence *does* believe deeply in their properties, I suspect they will warp their reality fields in such a way as to manifest a fulfillment of their beliefs, as we all do with one thing or another :-)

    ………………………………………

    I first noticed the blind-spot phenomenon when I was attempting
    to point out the self-evident and was watching the apparently willful
    (but actually unconscious) machinations of the personality in
    maintaining ignorance, but I am not particularly basing my current
    observation that you (and we all) have blind spots on my
    understanding of the self.

    I am basing it on the fact that –to borrow a nice term from Barry –
    where blind spots are involved, there is no *equanimity*; one is
    coming from a place of ungrounded attack. What the critic tends to
    miss IMO is that Judy and I are generally *not* defending MMY and the
    TMO; we’re just pointing out *that the critic is attacking in an
    unbalanced manner*. Again, you, Curtis, have noted that you cut slack
    for Thai beliefs — that is, you have equanimity there, more than you
    do for TM beliefs. That’s certainly understandable; you used to
    identify with TM beliefs; there’s a residue there.

    Personally, I’ve noticed that much if not all of my suffering — my
    reactive residue — has come from places where I falsely assumed
    responsibility for something, identified with something that was
    actually not my business. I used to actually feel pain, for example,
    when driving through my neighborhood and seeing a downright ugly
    house. How could the architect be so stupid as to design such a God-
    awful monstrosity, and the home-owner so blind as to choose it, etc.,
    etc.? I finally realized *I am not responsible for the classically
    aesthetic perfection of my neighborhood* — it is what it is, period.
    Same for BushCo and so on. What a relief!

    I’d write more, but my wife really wants to go out for brunch *now*
    so.. to be continued! :-)

    ………………………………………

    (OK, that was quite a meal — if anyone should decide to visit
    Portland, Maine, I’d recommend Bintliff’s for brunch! All their meals
    are works of art, and their raspberry almond pancakes with maple
    syrup are quite a treat! :-) )

    Anyhow, after I gave up wishing the neighborhood architecture were
    different, I became free to appreciate it as it is, and lately I’ve
    seen the creator’s intent, the perfect Love, that actually resides
    even in an “ugly” house. Now I am still undertaking projects to
    beautify the architecture of my hometown, but I’m not coming from a
    place of anger and suffering, of denial of the perfection of what is.
    It IS perfect, and I’m happy to do my small part to expand the
    perfection still more :-)

    ………………………………………

    Where are you getting that I am calling me enlightened and you
    ignorant, Curtis? When I first noticed the blind-spot phenomenon it
    was when I was trying to point out the self-evident perfection *to
    someone who was not Curtis*. I have since then noticed the blind-spot phenomenon *in myself*. Does this make me ignorant? Well, it means I have blind-spots, as (as far as I can tell) we all do. Period. Overall “enlightenment” or “ignorance” — however we may define them or refuse their meaningfulness — and personally, I have no problem with refusing to make any distinction between “enlightenment” and “ignorance” — *are not the issue here.*

    …FWIW I kind of saw Judy as a “logic-piranha” when I first ran into her and she shredded the nice anti-TM arguments I had clothed my resentment with, leaving me bare-boned, but as I saw where she was coming from, and healed the core discontents she revealed, I came to see her beautiful clarity and balance more and more deeply, and now I am in total awe of the divine grace manifesting in Her presence.

    …Well, I found that *my* important content was actually just badly-
    fitting drapery around a core of discontent. YMMV, of course.

    …how on earth could we ever *know* whether what you say is true or not, except for each of us individually, in this moment, as a personal truth? What I am hearing as a subtext is, “I, Curtis, know better than MMY does about my own state(s) of consciousness.” And personally, I, Rory, say — good for you! That’s what self-reference (i.e. “Brahman”) is all about! But the whole “misapplied an ancient framework … that we understand better through modern psychology…” As Borat would say, “Not so much” — that part just feels like a socially-acceptable (but unprovable) way to say what I think (and hope) I *hear* you really saying above.

    …*lol* I can see how this would not be fun — but my point is not that
    you are wrong, it is that you are making baseless — i.e. seemingly
    logical but actually logically unprovable — attacks, or criticisms,
    if you prefer: Sweeping generalizations that hold no water, but are
    actually (I hope and believe) masking or clothing some very real
    feelings underneath. (Otherwise, you’re just wasting yours and
    everyone’s time, and I don’t really think that’s possible.) I am not
    trying to discount your arguments by saying there’s an emotional core
    underneath; I am discounting your arguments as too sweeping and
    asking you to look at the feeling-level motivation behind them.
    There’s really good stuff there, inside the blind-spot.

    …I have already told you that this is essentially true; I am responding to you, “creating” you, *on the basis of my memory* and of my own blind-spots. I do not consider this to be a “poopy-pants” statement, because I do not consider it to be an insult to state that my so-called logical statements repose upon subtler feelings. I *have* found that as my understanding of my own subtle underlying feelings clarifies, then my thinking also clarifies. Again, YMMV.

    …Yes, you do think [MMY] is wrong, and that you know better, and I am absolutely certain that you are right; that that is true. Our conceptual understanding/framework of what MMY has said is absolutely false. There’s a simpler truth you have been articulating, where “enlightenment” and “ignorance” are utterly irrelevant, and “spiritual experience” itself is irrelevant, and your own self knows your own self best, and so on. These are some of the keynotes of “Brahman,” which he also has talked about, as much as one can talk about the utterly indescribable :-)

    …Perhaps you are less emotionally-tinted than I; my whole world
    shattered into grief and rage when — despite the wowzer experiences
    MMY was showing me on the Science and Veda course — I realized I had all along been following a false Messiah; that he was no “higher” than I! :-) For me this was a huge piece of the puzzle — not the *whole* puzzle, but a *huge* piece of it.

    …Yes. I hear you — I used to be plagued by TMO true-believers after I
    left the TMO, until I cleared the residues of my own TM doubts. For
    years afterward I was still plagued by other evangelical
    fundamentalists, until I cleared most of my “inner fundamentalist.”
    My world is definitely as I am! (YMMV, of course.)

    …And I with you. FWIW, to me you are showing many of the earmarks
    of “Brahman” — but I really couldn’t care less, and I suspect you
    probably couldn’t either. Great joke, isn’t it?!

    ………………………………………

    …I am not asking you to cut MMY and his ideas any more slack than you would cut anyone else; do you think *I* do?
    I’ve already pointed many areas in which I overtly do *not* currently
    give those ideas much credence: TM program, Stapathya Veda, Ayurveda, Jyotish. The only aspect I *do* currently give much credence to, is Self as Being, and that’s an experiential thing, not an idea per se.

    I am only pointing out, as I did in my email response to you (which
    you apparently failed to grasp), that you actually do not show
    equanimity here; you are *not* treating him as you would “an ordinary
    truck driver,” for you are *still criticising him after 30 years*! I
    am not defending MMY here — those are *not our only two choices* –
    attack him or defend him. There is a third choice, where he simply
    doesn’t matter to us, is not something that riles us up enough to
    criticise. For some reason, you still find him irritating enough to
    write about, in pretty much the same words, over and over and over
    again. What is the seed of your discontent?

    …Attack, criticism, call it what you will — a surprisingly large
    expenditure of energy for a guy who claims to have left MMY and the
    movement 30 years ago, don’t you think? It looks to me as if he is
    still very much on your back; very much “special” to you.

    …Then why spend 30 years fighting them? That’s all I’m asking. I am
    not defending them; I find them as indefensible as your criticisms :-)

    …To me it is *not* a personal issue of “MMY deserving our respect.” God knows, I have criticised him and his ideas *plenty* in my day. I’m just saying you appear to be very hung up on MMY, that’s all.

    …I have never implied that “balance includes giving MMY or his ideas
    deference.” Balance means giving statements that manifest personal
    integrity, as opposed to giving wildly sweeping inaccuracies which
    are unsupportable or easily picked apart. A relatively unbalanced
    example might be my saying something like “MMY’s stapathya veda is
    rampant foolishness designed only to rake in yet more money from his
    easily-gulled followers,” as opposed to a more balanced “I have
    walked through and felt out a stapathya-veda house or two and –
    aside from the typical new-house spaciousness — perceived nothing
    particularly special about them. I personally prefer a good Victorian
    house, south door and all, which shows a quality of material and
    craftsmanship essentially unmatchable today, and is far more
    affordable,” — which latter is actually my current experience and
    stance, subject of course, and always, to change.

    Attack and deference are not our only two choices. There is a third –
      integrity, equanimity.

    As for the rest, I’ll just reiterate that I am not saying you guys
    are “damaged” — just that you and Vaj (Curtis less so) seem self-
    condemned to repeat yourselves over and over, making broad, sweeping (and easily disputed) statements without ever getting to your personal integrity, to your undisputable personal experience, and to the core of your discontent, where IME great treasure lies.

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I feel the same way. It’s been a great pleasure; these
    conversations with you and with Barry have made me look more closely at a lot of things, particularly the issue of balance and integrity. On further reflection, I see that from another angle I am yet again advocating the inward movement of transcendence,  — pulling back from our projected discontents “out there” to their inward core “in here;” i/o/w moving from victimization and addiction to empowerment and sobriety. One of my favorite modern psychologist/therapists, by the way, is one that Tom T. introduced me to — Anne Wilson Schaef. Her books, “When Society Becomes an Addict” and especially “Escape From Intimacy: The Pseudo-Relationship Addictions – Untangling the “Love” Addictions, Sex, Romance, Relationships,” beautifully unfolded the dynamics of Brahman as sobriety, without ever mentioning Brahman :-)

    Happy Independence Day!

    ………………………………………

    How about a wrathful-deity Dharmapala? Not all Bodhisattvas are sugary sweet, you know.

    ………………………………………

    It [ :-) ] was actually your original face (before your parents were born?), but here’s another one, specially from me :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I already tried to do you a favor, to show you how to “fight fair” and make statements with personal integrity, and thus to avoid making an ass of youself. I’ve already said that I don’t have Judy’s patience or her tolerance for abuse, and I’m not going to go rummaging through the archives to bolster an obvious point, all the while ignoring your abuse — calling my attempts to help “cowardly” and “schoolyard bullying,” etc. To put it bluntly, I love you, but you’re thinking and talking like a drunk, and I just don’t have the time to waste arguing with a drunk. I’ve already shown you the difference between a relatively balanced and an unbalanced statement. If that’s not good enough for you, so be it.

    ………………………………………

    HA! No smiley face for you!

    Just kidding :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I’ve apparently given you more of my attention than you merit already.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I have no problem with Geezer’s portraying me as a high-handed, arrogant megalomaniac; I doubtless possess those qualities in abundance. :-)

    I’m actually rather glad he brought up my old site –  when I first
    joined FFL, everyone had a chance to read it (if they wished) and
    uunderstand better where I was coming from. It is many years out of
    date now, however, and over the years (even before joining FFL) I’ve
    occasionally considered removing it, as I’ve come to value simplicity
    and ordinariness more and more, but each time someone has written me to thank me for writing it, so with some ambivalence I have let it stand. It is in essence a letter to some of my past selves, some of whom would have *loved* to read it! Perhaps someday I’ll update it to reflect more of my current thinking … or perhaps not. :-)

    ………………………………………

    Comment from geezerfreak: And here’s Rory riffing on his own name:

     ”My name embraces primarily the Red, but also the Yellow and the
    Violet Rays.
     
    In my own Taurus-Equinox system, my natal Sun is in the Sun’s own (yellow) duodecile within (Mars’s) Aries — the Red:Yellow Solar Angel of the Lion, for which Rory itself is a valid mantra — while Mars is in Mars’s own (red) duodecile of Aquarius, the Violet Smith and Grail-bearer. And indeed, Goff means not only “the Red” (from Welsh Goch), but also (as Welsh Gof) means “the Smith;” Gofannon is the Celtic Smith-God who brews the Ale of Immortality and serves it to the other Gods.
    The Smith is the Lord of the Violet Ray of Alchemy: the Aquarian Ray overseeing the next 2,160 years, earth’s Aquarian Age.
    The Violet Smith sires his complementary opposite, the Yellow (Solar) Creator, as darkest lead is alchemically transmuted to brightest gold.

     The Oxford English Dictionary tells us that Rory also means (or once meant) “dewy,” from the Latin ros, roris, meaning “dew, moisture, water, teardrop.” Dew is traditionally the most sacred of fluids, symbolizing the light of dawn, spiritual refreshment, blessing, illumination, resurrection, and — as amrit or ambrosia — immortality. This dew of Solar Enlightenment and Immortality is identical to the Ale of Immortality brewed by Gofannon the Smith (father of the Solar Creator); does dew also relate to Mars or Rudra? Yes! As Mars/Rudra governs the two hours before dawn when the dew falls, we can say that dewdrops are the tears of Rudra. Rudra’s tears are well-known in Vedic mythology. The Utrasum Bead Tree (Elaiocarpus Ganitrus Roxb.)
    yields beads known as Rudraksha or “Rudra’s tears” which are particularly sacred and powerful when blessed and worn as a rosary by a devotee of Rudra/Shiva, the Lord of Transcendence. It is my earnest desire that these papers illuminate, inspire, and rejuvenate you as the sacred dew! I hope and pray that the Rorian Tradition will serve you as a rosary of Rudraksha beads, heightening your blissful enjoyment of your holy immortality, and deepening your understanding that you walk this earth as divinity incarnate.

     Finally, Rory also means “noisy and boisterous,” as well as “loud
    or gaudy in color.” My relatives will gladly testify to my embodiment of the former traits since early childhood; it is not for nothing that Rudra means the Roarer or the Howler! Traditionally, the Red Ray of the Will expresses the Atmic Plane of Blissful Vibration, Magical Laughter or “Noise;” see the last two charts in The Days of the Week, their Planets, and the Chakras. And as for loud or gaudy colors? Since gaudy comes from the Latin meaning “joyful,” I will gladly accept these traits as well — the dew joyously catches the Sun and flashes the pure colors of the spectrum more brightly than any jewel; our blissful Body of Immortality is truly a Rainbow Body!”

    [Comment on geezerfreak: Clearly, he has transceded his own ego. Way to go Rory!]

    Thank you, Geezer! I certainly couldn’t have written that when I was
    in ignorance — I was way too shy! Freedom is a lot of fun to play
    with; we don’t generally feel the need to poke fun at others any more
    in order to feel good about ourselves :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …Ohh! He never took the siddhis course!  Many thanks, Jim, I’m thinking that may clarify some things. My apologies, Barry; I suspect I have been overly hard on you. Did Vaj perchance miss them too?

    Suddenly a number of puzzling anomalies may be coming into much clearer focus. I think I’ve been sitting in the wrong class! :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on starting his own religion]

    What for? Does the world need yet another religion? I’ve always found them to be rather constricting, personally, when we start taking poetry for Gospel :-)

    ………………………………………

    That’s very aptly put, Jim; I *do* see the “Rorian Tradition” as being
    a rather complex work of art I created, a self-portrait in essence. As
    such, I didn’t expect or desire it to appeal to everyone, though it’s
    always nice to be appreciated by a thoughtful critic :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s out of date in that I haven’t added much to it since 1997, and my
    autobiography stops at 1990.

    In general I now value simplicity and ordinariness more than I do the
    complex and celestial, so I haven’t been moved to add much to either
    the papers or my autobiography (though it might be fun someday to bring it up to our move to Iowa and the IA course).

    I regard the “Rorian Tradition” as a complex work of art that was a
    *lot* of fun to create, and I hope others enjoy it and are inspired by
    it as I was, but that’s it.
     
    ………………………………………

    …I’m saying that it is a work of art that I found enjoyable, stimulating, and inspiring to play with when I conceived it.

    …The Initiations were essentially automatic; as I described in the
    autobiography, they seemed to align very closely with Saturn’s
    transits. They do not particularly interest me at this time; that
    model is an old work of art; my current focus is elsewhere.

    …That model is an old work of art; my current interests lie elsewhere :-)

    ………………………………………

    Actually, I have no opinion on whether these [past lives] are “mine” or not, or anymore “mine” than anything else — I feel in essence that all
    memories, all personality-forms, are available to anyone, and if appropriate we can access them for greater understanding and healing of whatever we are working on at the moment :-)

    ………………………………………

    As Geezer has reminded me, 30 years approximates one complete cycle of Saturn, or IIRC one full span of ascending and descending Initiations in the old “Rorian Tradition”  (and which, according to my old “Rules of the Game,” are ongoing whether we choose to consciously appreciate them and learn from them or not).

    Coincidence? Probably! But then, what isn’t? :-)

    It’s good to be back in Fairfield, however briefly!

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on re-reading explaination of ascending/descending initiations]

    I really wouldn’t bother, if I were me. It’s just another game :-)

    ………………………………………

    Under the right conditions levitation, dematerialization, etc. IME are possible, and have been experienced by a number of us simultaneously. IME it wasn’t astral or subtle-body projection, and it felt quite physical and real. On what level(s) of reality it took place I couldn’t tell you, but its effect was to fuse previously-differentiated understandings of matter and spirit into ONE. As Barry says, this kind of experience is viceral and *intense* and IME took many years to fully assimilate.

    ………………………………………

    I don’t know, Richard; maybe you didn’t read my autobiography
    thoroughly enough, or I wasn’t clear enough in my account. Either
    way, here it was: http://artesmagicae.com/auto6d.htm

    ………………………………………

    *lol* If you are willing to concede that the entire physical reality
    is on the suggestion, then, yes, absolutely :-)

    …I couldn’t tell you what Maharishi’s “bum hopping” accomplishes, as I
    really don’t know how to ascribe cause and effect in this instance,
    or even in my life as a whole :-)

    …People are *expert* at maintaining their own blind-spots and realities, that much I do know :-)

    ………………………………………

    http://www.firethegrid.com/eng/home-fr-eng.htm

    MANY thanks, Robert, for providing this link! This woman is simple and
    brilliant; I highly recommend watching this :-)

    ………………………………………

    I was actually referring to more of her [Shelley Yates] message than the simple one-time “fire the grid” event though. I sat up and took
    notice because I saw her site right after thinking deeply about our “ascension,” and about Steven Greer’s message re consciously
    contacting our ET-Selves and raising our vibration, etc., and noticed this was essentially her experience and message, very powerfully put. I especially liked the guidance she got from the divine (my term, not hers) on consciously walking Earth as a spiritual being:

    1) Do no harm, beginning with yourself;
    2) Do everything that you do with honesty and integrity;
    3) Find your human joy and be thankful for the opportunity.

    Words to live by!

    ………………………………………

    …The funny thing is, stranger and lovelier things than that [levitation; stopping heart] are happening all around us and within us even now, to see and to be, if we merely take the time to open up to them by raising our vibratory level with gratitude and appreciation … :-)

    ………………………………………

    Point of clarification… — I never met Frederick Lenz and have
    no opinion on whether or how he levitated etc.

    ………………………………………

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/143425

    If I have still been unclear, I restate: in my autobiography I wrote
    about our personal experiences of levitation, dematerialization etc.;
    I have never met Frederick Lenz or any of his students, and so hold
    no opinion specifically on Frederick Lenz’s experiences or on those
    witnessing his experiences :-)

    ………………………………………

    Greetings, Billy Jim! No, not particularly representative, as to the
    bickering and so on — there is so much Heart now in FF, which has
    really flowered into overflowing Love & Laughter over these past few
    years — a true Siddhapura. I feel *incredibly* blessed to be here
    among so many wise and wonderful radiant beings at this point in time.

    ………………………………………

    (The opinions given above are only my perceptions of the people I
    have met here, and are not meant to represent their perceptions, let
    alone the perceptions of those I haven’t met here. Still, there
    appears to be a general consensus that FF has warmed up into much
    more love and tolerance over this last decade, between “townies”
    and “rus” as well as among the various factions of “rus”. I and
    others are noticing much more respect for each each others’ paths,
    much more warmth — many attribute this to the visits of the Mother
    Saints. I have no opinion on the probable cause(s)…)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, empty!  I completely share your newfound deep respect for those
    original teachings of TM. For many years after “Awakening” part of me
    was subtly kicking myself for having spent so many years using a path
    to ignore the Self-evident Indescribable, even though it had
    obviously all been perfect, but over the last 3-4 years I’ve come to
    see what a phenomenal complacency and self-sufficient arrogance I
    have imbibed with “Brahman” — and that *all* the unfoldments since
    then have been simple continuations of those same original teachings
    of transcendence (TM) and manifestation (sidhis), all the inevitable
    flow of grace of the Self to the Self.

    On the basis of knowing them as my Self, my appreciation of MMY and
    Guru Dev are finally perhaps approaching some infinitesimal part of
    the infinite devotion they have always deserved. It so much fun being
    the particle, the creature, the student, for from here we can really
    appreciate the divine unboundedness of our simple ordinary self, the
    creator, the guru!

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …on our travels lately all over the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. we have been finding exactly the same thing [love, no stress, etc.]. The difference seems to be that I’m finding the qualities are considerably more “concentrated” or “alive” in Fairfield; more people seem to be more consciously participating in more intensities of the love and joy :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I am well aware there are many on Earth who are suffering, and suffering intensely. On the physical plane, I signed petitions, did my best to wake people up to the manipulations around
    9/11, and demonstrated against the war in Iraq, as I’m sure you did too. On the spiritual plane, it is all bliss. I just got my finger nearly bitten off by our dog. The wound was a gift for which I am
    immensely grateful, it is all very very good, and was a great joy connecting with the people in the emergency room, doctors, etc.. Not in the same ballpark as losing one’s legs, of course, but you get my drift. It will be even nicer when more people are consciously aware of this utter bliss in every “thing” … I am glad you’re doing your part.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …it’s all about our framing. As I said to the doctor, who was wondering why I was so happy as he was scrubbing the wound, “It’s just another *thing*; it’s really all only the radiant self, which we put different labels on and react accordingly…..if we don’t like our labels, why not change them?” He closed his eyes, went into stillness and said, “Done!” A very cool dude :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Let me make a prediction:

    Whatever he says will bother you :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Let me make a further prediction:

    Whatever he says will bother you, *and* that you will deny being
    bothered, masking your pain as “humor” :-) (Hope I’m wrong though)

    ………………………………………

    …That is why I hope I’m wrong: Because I know I’m talking to
    one of my own particles, and though I have done so in the past (when
    I didn’t understand my own simple nature as well as I do now), in
    this moment I’m not laughing at it; I feel its pain, infinitesimal as
    it is, as it thrashes around denying our emptiful nature, misunderstanding it and thinking that because I sustain uncountable trillions of particles, that I cannot care about each one of Us.

    What we failed to remember and take into account was that most of our uncountable trillions did not experiment with forgetfulness, rebellion, and separation (or if we remembered, it only added to our guilt and rage and sense of separation) — but they consciously maintained the harmony of the primordial song, to ground and heal and remind the rest of us who chose the path of temporary blindness/deafness, when the time came to remember this was a dream, and to return home enriched and enriching with our new understandings and experiences and stories of self.

    That’s when we see that it is and always has been Perfect :-)

    ………………………………………

    …and of course, I can hear you saying, “But that too is just
    another story!” To which I will reply, “And so is that!” And so on…

    The bottom line is, I love you — always have, always will :-)

    ………………………………………

    YES — I greatly enjoyed Robinson’s book, as well as everything
    Frances Yates wrote — including, also, Theatre of the World,
    Shakespeare’s Last Plays: A New Approach, and Giordano Bruno and the Hermetic Tradition.

    Haven’t read Stevenson yet; thanks for the recommendation :-)

    ………………………………………

    Sometime after building my “immortal body” with all its magical
    correspondences, I read Yates’ Art of Memory and noticed some
    interesting resonances between those old systems and my own — which was indeed a system of memory/creation — as well as my “Initiations” and those of Freemasonry. I am looking forward to reading Stevenson!

    My apologies to all for posting more than 5 times/day lately; I’m going
    to be away from the computer for the next few days, so it should all
    even out :-)

    ………………………………………

    Enlightenment consists first of isolating the Purusha, and from this
    place of invincibility, fully embracing Prakriti as yet another
    manifestation of the radiant Self :-)

    …Enlightenment finds its culmination in the realization that samsara
    is also not other than the perfect Self, as the two are now finally
    understood to be one in an all-consuming blaze of divine Love.

    [Comment on:...being 'one' with a 'hideous duality']

    It’s only hideous when it’s separate. Embracing the ‘demonic’ reveals
    it to be divine — to be be an infinitely fuller, richer, sweeter,
    lovelier manifestation of the radiant self, the ‘missing half’ so to
    speak :-)

    …we realize that “Absolute” and “Relative” are artificial distinctions, temporary reductions of something infinitely greater than either or both :-)

    …I suspect one who knows where to look can find it [unification] anywhere and everywhere :-)

    …maybe truth is different in different states of consciousness….? :-)

    …*lol* By me, Y*E*S. But it is attained *through* whole-heartedly embracing what is here and now, seeing it to be what IS.
     
    ………………………………………

    …I was specifically referring to a moment when the Purusha is fully
    isolated, and at this moment by contrast the entire creation, all of
    Prakriti, appears to be “demonic” — i.e., not-Self, a dark-matter “prison” of  hideous horror — and it is at this moment that one’s old training in embracing and transmuting the demonic comes to the fore, giving us the courage to embrace this too. And at this moment, all the old fairy tales hint at the truth — embracing the hideous hell-hag transmutes her into the most radiant beauty, and as divine Goddess She offers us Her Sovereignty; the entire Creation becomes our body in a mergence of infinite Love.

    And as the Giant might say, HA, HOU, HUM! (*A*U*M*)

    ………………………………………

    …And I was referring to when the universe, as a whole,
    ultimately dissolves into or merges with the fire of infinite Love
    into the deep self — call that Shiva, Guru Dev, MMY, Ramana
    Maharshi, “Me”, or whoever — all the same Self, and taking place
    moment by moment, if and when we are ready to accept it and be cremated into it :-)

    ………………………………………

    Why do you assume we lose Knowledge? What reversion back into
    ignorance are you sepaking of? From here, all I see is more and more
    knowledge being gained, continually. Sometimes as particles we take
    our focus off of certain dimensions to explore others more fully, but
    that hardly qualifies as ignorance, does it?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Adolf Hitler, like every other particle, gathered a great deal of
    knowledge for Us, for which we’re grateful …. in this case, what happens when certain energies of fear, hatred, separation and scapegoating are invoked on a massive scale; what happens when one starts to believe one’s own press, and so on. In some ways, like his modern-day political imitators, he already *was* unconscious, even while on earth. Nonetheless he (and they) have gathered a great deal of knowledge for Us. Everything, even “ignorance”, yields us ever more knowledge :-)

    ………………………………………

    FWIW I still support my original premise: If we criticise another
    (particularly if the other isn’t even present, and we’re criticising
    them to a 3rd party), we generally *are* coming from a place of pain
    (hurt/anger), whether or not we are consciously aware of it at that
    moment. This is because we are “shoulding” all over them :-) –
    expecting them to be other than they are, and judging them for not
    living up to our expectations of what they “should” be or do. All of
    this stems from the core belief and illusion that what we are
    criticising is outside of ourself — a position that is fraught with
    addictive pain. Practicing a little Byron-Katiesque Inquiry will soon
    sober us up and show us otherwise :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Do what you want, of course — I don’t expect you to do
    otherwise! What you choose to do is entirely your business; I am
    enjoying you and your life just as it is.

    And if I occasionally feel like clarifying a point and maybe in the
    process offering a loving hand to some particles of myself who are
    still suffering under the painful delusion that they are separate,
    alone and unloved, that’s my business and also just as it is :-)

    ………………………………………

    Has that been your experience with her Inquiry? [Byron Katie as Neo-Advaitin] It certainly hasn’t been mine. :-)

    ………………………………………

    I am recommending that one be aware of where the criticism is coming
    from — that one place attention on the core expectations behind the
    criticisms, and thereby to discover the illusory and projective
    nature of one’s thinking, and of one’s pain. The result IME is
    generally a tremendous expansion of heart, of compassion, of
    consciousness as we reabsorb that “demonic” which we had projected
    outside ourselves and condemned.

    …the desire is to be free from pain, and this is one technique to
    unravel pain’s illusory slipknot.

    …the end result IME is most certainly not merely intellectual. I live a visceral life, and would not be satisfied with nor recommend mere intellectual masturbation :-)

    …it’s a realization one is in pain (or in my terms, projecting
    monsters “out there”), and a decent method to see through and embrace the illusion — to meet and conquer the challenge offered by that particular “bardo demon”.

    …It’s a recognition of pain, and an Inquiry to heal it. The technique
    is a great deal like transcendence itself, as it allows us to reverse
    the process of manifestation/projection by tracing the thoughts
    consciously inward to their source, recognizing their fallacies, and
    remembering the truth — in a deeply satisfyingly visceral, sensory
    way.

    …it merely provides a tool for recognizing and piercing the source of our pain.

    OTOH my current understanding of moodmaking is in no way
    condemnatory, as all the states of consciousness look much like moods
    to me. From where I stand, we have a choice as to our primary “mood”
    or “frequency,” which colors what interpretations we wish to ascribe
    to the myriads of incoming data, and this choice in turn actually
    determines which of the data we imbibe and manifest through our
    various levels of bodymind and thence into our environment. I do
    realize for many of us however that this initial choice
    of “frequency” is as yet unconscious.

    …It’s not a question of “trying not to be judgmental;” it’s a question
    of destroying one’s pain.

    …Then you are reading me wrong, as appears often to be the case. I see no problem with Self kicking Self in the nuts if that is what is required. :-)

    …Try it and see for yourself, or keep on spinning rationalizations why
    Not to try it, it makes no difference to me. I’m still gonna kick you in the nuts every time I see you on crack waving a pistol around — metaphorically speaking of course :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Whether an asshole actually exists or not is impossible for me to say.
    I am rejecting that my suffering has an external reality, yes. If that makes me somehow “falling into polarities,” then so be it :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Yes! I LOVE the mirror-like quality of FFL, like Life cubed, as Self reflects Self to Self….next it’ll be *my* turn to use the infinite-recursion argument!

    ………………………………………

    …Right, you didn’t offer me that marvelous image to play with — but
    you *did* (in my reality anyhow) offer me your pain, which was all I really wanted. To whatever degree You and I are separate, my heartfelt thanks to You :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I generally attempt to take responsibility for my perceptions *of* the other, without ascribing specific attributes *to* the other (though sometimes I fail of course), as it’s usually evident that my perceptions of the other are simply the qualities of myself I choose to see in this moment.

    This is *not* to say however that my perceptions aren’t also “true” –
      or at least shared by others, which may be our basic criterion of
    objective as opposed to subjective reality. However, as I mentioned
    to Steve, I really can’t say if an “asshole” has any real existence –
      the only reality I am prepared to affirm whole-heartedly is the self-evident, radiant indescribable one, as that one keeps appearing when the other perceptions un-slip-knot themselves. There is then no separation.

    ………………………………………

    a) I have continually held that inquiry is not a substitute for
    activity or inactivity, it is merely a way to unravel one’s
    suffering. Hard as it may be to believe, one will still perform
    correct action even if one is not suffering! :-)

    b) I did not realize anything through neo-advaita; I woke up on my
    own after 9 years of TM (and the grace of a few teachers and non-
    teachers presenting the mahavakyas at precisely the right moment),
    realizing that all the states of consciousness I had perceived
    through TM were transient, bound by space-time, and I didn’t even
    want them or any other external criteria; I now wholeheartedly
    desired, and was willing to surrender into, only perfection Now.
    That’s when I hit bottom and turned inside out as Self realized that
    Self and only Self has always been all there is, here and now :-)

    c) Some 23 years later I read Byron Katie and saw her genius in
    providing a dirt-simple technique to allow *all* the mind’s old
    programs, all our old particles, to catch up with and surrender into
    the Self. If I could change anything, I would give myself Byron
    Katie’s technique 23 years earlier :-)

    d) I have neither paid for nor charged for any courses, healing, etc.
    for over a decade. Money is lovely and abundant, as freely enjoyable
    as oxygen :-)

    ………………………………………

    …In no way am I “far beyond” you, trin — you have maturity,
    clarity, depth, wisdom and experience I can never hope to equal, and
    that’s just fine by me. I’m only sorry I haven’t expressed my awe and
    appreciation of you sufficiently before; I guess I thought you knew :-)

    ………………………………………

    In some cases, I think these qualities [oddness] may have represented “bardo-demons” that some of these people were wrestling with, for awhile. In the deeper sense, yes, these are mostly qualities of the universal self that the personality may have had a hard time accepting nonjudgmentally.

    …and even when through whatever technique or grace we see through the filters, we still see the self — albeit now in its innocence as That: self-evident, predominantly radiant, blissful, love itself, etc.

    …and really to me it’s all essentially irrelevant *except* as a
    means to self-diagnose and unravel one’s own suffering. And that
    approach itself is apparently not going to be particularly meaningful
    to all people at all times in their lives :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s *always* fair, if someone is antagonistically criticising me,
    whether or not I immediately recognize it, for surely somewhere
    in “me” are the qualities they complain of. Conversely, it’s always
    (in the deepest sense) unfair, if I’m antagonistically criticising
    another, as again, the root-cause of my discontent is always in “me” :-)

    ………………………………………

    Actually, Curtis, I do not generally place you in any category of
    seriously “resisting me/self/enlightenment” as I don’t generally feel
    any heavy resistance from you — I almost always find you to be very
    open, thoughtful, and heartfilled — all anyone could ask, and more.

    Moreover, a small degree of resistance itself is often stimulating,
    the grain of sand that grows the pearl. That’s why I find myself
    often preferring FFL to other more homogeneous spiritual groups — a
    bit of challenge is fun — vive la difference! :-)

    ………………………………………

    Basically, as I understand it, one does “the work” on oneself in areas
    in which one feels pain or suffering, as these are signs of incorrect
    thinking or thinking “not in alignment with nature;” there is no need
    to examine ideas that don’t hurt :-)

    ………………………………………

    I’d say it’s [enlightenment] not even an “experience” in the conventional meaning; more an Understanding that finally frees one
    from bondage to all experience — hence, not really something that can fade away or get lost, like the glimpses of higher states we used to value so :-)

    ………………………………………

    I’d suggest these [broad philosophical questions] are essentially a waste of time *unless* they’re areas you’re personally feeling particular pain and suffering in. I would (if asked) further suggest working first on the areas in which I feel the *most* suffering, in this moment, if any

    ………………………………………

    …I said, “essentially a waste of time *unless* they’re areas you’re
    personally feeling particular pain and suffering in,” the object
    being to realize one’s eternal liberation from bondage and suffering.
    If you’re not interested in liberation from suffering in this moment,
    of course, then feel free to inquire about whatever floats your boat,
    but it would be a mistake to equate that with “the work” :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, no doubt the Buddha was mistaken — after all, he didn’t know
    you — if he did, he would doubtless agree with you that doing TM and
    then strolling around the mall and  seeing “Transformers” is better
    for you in this moment.  :-)

    Actually, I’m quite serious about this: I am certainly not going to
    try to push “the work” or anything else down your throat! It’s your
    life, until it isn’t :-)

    ………………………………………

    [broad philosophical questions are a waste of time] For anyone actually seeking to unravel their suffering :-)

    …I’ve generally seen it applied to one’s areas of suffering, which to me makes a lot of sense. YMMV.

    …Doesn’t it [diversity] already have trillions upon trillions [heads]? Or is that just McDonald’s?

    ………………………………………

    www.thework.com

    ………………………………………

    It’s my understanding of “the work” based on my reading and working
    with her first book, on watching her practice it on video, and on my
    own practice. I’ve seen and found the inquiry to be highly effective
    on working with some actual portion of ourselves which is actually
    suffering in this moment, is actually believing it “should” be
    different than it is in this moment, and for me that’s what it’s all
    about — liberating those particles of myself who haven’t yet
    realized I AM THAT, YOU ARE THAT, ALL THIS IS THAT and THAT IS ALL
    THERE IS. It’s all about tending to any particles of ourselves who are “shoulding” in this moment.

    For example, in thinking about our discussion earlier this morning, I
    notice there is a particle of me in discomfort, and on listening I
    hear a very tiny thought, “He should listen to me.” Now *I* know full
    well that this is ridiculous, of course, but the *particle* doesn’t
    know that in this moment; the particle is suffering from an old
    program. So I pay attention to the particle, engage the particle in
    the work, and don’t quit until that particle remembers its original
    bliss, its original freedom. And since my consciousness is constantly
    collapsing into these particles, and manifesting my physical reality
    through these particles, now *I* am bathed in bliss, in utter
    freedom, and my physical world has regained its paradaisical state of
    radiant Being. It’s all about “teaching the devas” :-)

    ………………………………………

    [feeling of discomfort] reveals a particle which I hadn’t noticed before :-)

    …Which *it* perceives as suffering :-)

    …[do "the work"] until *it* knows it is free, knows its nature as tangible bliss

    …and thereby manifests my sensorium as radiant being/love/bliss

    …No doubt :-) But then, you still think enlightenment is an experience — not that you care about enlightenment, of course — and
    that we think we are great for realizing it’s not, although we’re
    probably just moodmaking anyway, and that we expect you to worship us
    and take our word for it. Did I get that right? :-)

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    …Wok on, Jimmie Dean!

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    *I* am “free of stress and beyond such things” as you term it,
    because *I* do not exist as such, I am merely the indefinable,
    ungraspable Self, but  not all of “my” bodymind know that it is free
    (though by far the majority do, or do know they are freely
    participating in my harmony) — portions still believe in spacetime,
    separation, and so on. Call it leshavidya if you like; basically it’s
    simply those beings in my universe who still believe they’re
    suffering.

    …I’m an Evangelist; I like to spread the Good News; it tickles; as Self-pleasuring it’s my form of masturbation :-)

    [Comment on:...Why is "It" not enlightened if you are?]
    It was running on old beliefs or old memory; spacetime being what is,
    the progressive dissolution into Now actually unfolds in its own good
    time among my particles :-)

    [Comment on:...particles in "freedom" and "tangible bliss"]
    It’s the way they’ve always been, once we realize we’re superimposing illusions on them, and relax :-)

    …I only know that for me, physical pain is becoming more and more obviously both negligible on the one hand, and on the other, actual physical bliss, as I relax more and more into Being the simple and natural frequencies of gratitude, compassion, love, release, etc., and more and more of my body becomes “eaten” by and transmuted into passionate Love and Light and Bliss :-)

    …I perceive it *is*. The other [perceiving what should be] is more and more obviously an infinitesimal illusion, but one which it behooves us to attend to and unravel … what else have we got to do? :-)

    [Comment on:...why change the way the "particles" feel?]

    Because I love them/me, and I don’t like to see/feel anyone suffering
    needlessly, when it’s so simple to show them how to unravel, relax,
    and remind Us of our true nature :-)

    …The one thing about my Awakening was, although ocurring in spacetime, it is clearly beyond it; it is Self-evident, eternal, fundamental, and intensely, sensorily paradoxical — ordinary and special; concrete and transcendental, spirit and matter, lively and still, inner and outer, evident and not-evident: *no story fits; no story captures THAT* — *I* can’t capture THAT; I can only *be* THAT — all and none of the above: the Self appreciating THAT as Itself, as all that is, and absolute emptifulness — the only “experience” that is non-experience, instantly removing all my seeker’s doubt by its very nature or non-nature, by its very liberating spiritual-physical totality as Self-recognition.

    No experience I had had of C.C., G.C., or U.C. — rich and fulfilling
    as they were — could ever remove all doubt, could ever be “final,”
    could ever be this, as they were ephemeral, and bound by specific
    criteria. This Awakening realizes itself by understanding *it is not
    bound by criteria* — and thus is eternal, unbound by spacetime
    itself. As long as we are holding siddhis, or witnessing, or
    *anything* up as a yardstick to measure our Awakening, we will remain unAwake. “Loving what IS” awakens Us, opens our Heart and guts enough to envelop creation, to see Ourself.

    *After* Awakening, it is quite natural to spontaneously stretch our
    wings, to see how Nature clings to our desires (or how our desires
    are Nature’s) and how quickly she miraculously fulfills them. But to
    use these “siddhis” as a yardstick to measure our actual Awakening –
    no. Puts the cart before the horse, enables us to remain in bondage
    :-)

    ………………………………………

    I might be even more fun if you also admit that *I* am also an infitesimal particle of You; it works both ways :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Everything reflects everything else]

    YES YES YES!

    I LOVE YOU! :-) :-) :-)

    And also … because Wholeness is continually collapsing into
    point(s), It gets to experience the *effect* (as a point) of its own
    *cause* (as Wholeness), and the *divinity* (from the viewpoint of the
    point, looking at Wholeness) of its own *humanity* (from the
    viewpoint of Wholeness, looking at point), und so weiter! :-)

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    Again, I am not a Neo-Advaitin, or a Buddhist, or a Christian, or a
    Hindu, or a Wiccan, though there are elements of all of these that I
    have found to be helpful in self-discovery and self-description.  In
    working with my particles, I am enlightening every Being in my
    universe, as I suspect the so-called “Neo-Advaitin” BK is also doing.

    FWIW my Universe — my bodymind — happily and miraculously supports and fulfills my every desire, generally almost before I realize I have the desire. I like BK’s stuff, but I did not Awaken with it (though many of my particles have); when I Awakened, THAT which Awoke named itself Brahman, and Buddha, and the Crucifixion, for THAT was the death of the Witness into the great immensity.

    As “Brahman” I am the “Cosmic Consciousness” of my particles, and when Brahman discovers its ability to collapse into and relate with its particles, it enlivens “Krishna/Karttikeya” and then I am the “God Consciousness” or “Avatar” of my particles. When Wholeness discovers that I can “eat” my particles in the all-consuming fire of blissful love, it enlivens “Shiva/Vishnu” and then I am the “Unity Consciousness” of my particles.

    All a story or a map of course, but as True as I can speak it in this
    moment :-)

    I LOVE the image of Indra’s Net, for its infinitely harmonious and self-
    reflecting nature nicely captures the Being/Love aspects of Indra, whom we consider to be the original Vishnu. As we consider Rudra to be the original Shiva, our Sanskrit name would probably be “Indraprem Brahmajyoti Rudraananda” — “the Being/Love of Indra (Vishnu), the Consciousness/Light of Brahma(n), the Bliss/Laughter of Rudra (Shiva),” this making up the whole of the Hiranyagarbha or Sat-chit-ananda torus.
    Or, for short,

    *L*L*L*

    or, traditionally, *A*U*M*

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Bindu: Pinnacle of the Three Streams]

    It certainly bears a lot of resemblance anyhow to what I’ve been calling the “particle,” into which wholeness collapses, and which in turn we “eat” and, as the particle, are “eaten” :-)

    ………………………………………

    It appears you are using “special” in a different sense than I have
    been. Those guys *all* sound special to me, but then I think it’s
    pretty obvious everybody and everything is special if you give them
    half a chance. And by the same token, everybody and everything is
    also utterly ordinary. The kind of “special” Mr. Crumb appears to be,
    to certain fans, I wouldn’t wish on anyone — but of course, that too is perfect :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I have found as long as “I” am claiming C.C., G.C., or U.C.,
    and “Brahman” has not yet claimed “me,” I am not fully liberated, and
    am still attached or bound to experience.

    Along these same lines, when you were asking about how we fall into
    ignorance, I find that consciousness *constantly* collapses into the
    particle, to experience the effect of our causative and innocent
    thought as a created being, to enter into the world of our own
    making. If the consciousness *believes* the particle-experience, or
    is caught in a given belief, it identifies with the concreteness of
    the effect and forgets the subtle simplicity of its own cause; it
    finds the bindu to be binding, and experiences the ignorance of the
    particle, or more accurately the particle’s ignorance of the freedom
    of ourself, of That-Self.

    When we remember “Oh, yes, this particle-experience is not me; it is
    only one infinitesimal particle in the emptiful, Indefinable,
    Ungraspable That-Self,” then Brahman remembers itself, and acts as
    the “Cosmic Consciousness” of the particle — and so on, as described
    earlier :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …once free, always free; we are no longer fully identifying
    with the particle, or with ourselves as effect. And yes, the senses
    *are* harnessed by Brahman. Experience, the Universe, is now bound
    and surrounded by us, instead of vice-versa. I was just trying to
    describe the mechanics of how Brahman supports ignorance as well as
    enlightenment, or how we constantly recapitulate incarnation into
    spacetime and transcendence through manifesting and enlightening our
    particles *lol*

    …This is why I say, “as Brahman I am the Cosmic Consciousness of my
    particle(s),” instead of “I am in C.C.,” and “as Krishna/Karttikeya I
    am the God Consciousness of my particle(s),” instead of “I am in
    G.C.,” and so on — I am not in ignorance or C.C. or G.C. or
    whatever; my particles may temporarily believe they are. The states
    of consciousness are in Us, we are not fully contained in any of
    them :-)

    ………………………………………

    There is or can be a total collapse, as Krishna/Karttikeya begins to be
    enlivened, but not one in which the wholeness or consciousness is
    *lost* in the collapse — rather one in which the bliss and love are
    actually *intensified* to infinity by being “compressed,” as THAT takes
    on the localized but still infinite *charm* and *personality* of Godhead :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Ahh, OK, yes, Jim! I appreciate now your use of the word “concentrates” — really a beautiful word there, both literally and figuratively :-)

    ………………………………………

    …the particle finds meaning only in THAT, and in turn THAT finds meaning only in the particle — both in a sense “needing” each other for maximum Life, or for a current of attention/Love to flow and give a sense of purpose, learning, expansion, joy, and so on … :-)

    ………………………………………

     YES, from yet another angle/angel — very nicely put :-)

    ………………………………………

    I think this [expanded consciousness from a drug being maintained]
    may be due to states of consciousness’ being temporarily
    attained via external means, rather than fully understood in terms of the Self, which is beyond the various states. I have noticed
    enhancements of love, forgiveness, compassion, morality etc. as a result of more and more of my particles’ dissolving into us — my “play” is quite serious :-) — so that *I* am pleased with me even if you may not be, as you intimate below :-)

    …If it’s transient, it’s still binding, still a “state of consciousness” — when it’s no longer transient it is unmistakeable, essentially self-evident freedom eternally, across all states of consciousness :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …To clarify, by “pleased with me” I mean “pleased (beyond words) with my bodymind,” which is to say, with the Universe I uphold — which also includes my understanding of You :-)

    …it is imperative to find and follow your own path, of course, and to be true to your own goals — how else can Self unfold itSelf to itSelf? :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Au contraire, mon frere — it [CC, GC and UC being transitory states] is my direct experience :-)

    …If there is an “I” who is “in U.C.,” it is very definitely a transitional state, with more (or less) to follow! :-)

    ………………………………………

    IME, “ignorance,” “C.C.,” “G.C.,” “U.C.” — any “state of consciousness” is transitory, because it’s claimed by a particle still believing itself to be “in” the Universe, subject to space and time and experience; only That which is the culmination of “U.C.,” Brahman recognizing itSelf, is permanent, because it has always been here, just as it is, and the “I-particle” eventually gets tired of superimposing difference, distinction, intellect, upon That and surrenders into the utter perfection of what is, what has always been, what will always be.

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    I have certainly *perceived* — undergone, even — a great deal of shape-shifting over the past several decades. It’s no big deal to vibrate slightly differently than the standard 3-D, and to see that the so-called physical body is extremely susceptible to shape-imprinting.

    FWIW the “dragon scent” at Whitehall is very strong, stronger even
    than in Washington D.C. Not that there’s anything wrong with that of course — some of my best selves are dragons :-)

    …it’s always hardest to see our own blind-spots — that’s part of
    why it’s so fun to multiply ourSelf into many forms, so we can enjoy
    a myriad of viewpoints!

    ………………………………………

    …I’d maybe redefine conventional “work” as “working in someone
    else’s dream” — ergo, hard, against the current — and true Work (not
    distinguishable from play) as “working for oneSelf,” and therefore
    effortlessly stressful, crystallinely fluid, agonizingly delightful,
    neverending-now, and stilly dynamic — but not “hard” as convention would have it! :-)

    ………………………………………

    Wow. By that definition [TM... lead[s] to enlightenment and …Mahesh Varma is…enlightened…], *I* am a TB! The mind boggles.

    Personally, I’d define a TB as someone who believes that TM/TMSP are
    the best, fastest, or probably even the *only* way to get to
    enlightenment, and that MMY is the best, highest, or probably even
    *only* Guru who is worth His salt. IOW, anyone who thinks “my way is
    better than your way” is a TB. Otherwise, you’re leaving out whole
    turns of the spiral, sandwiching a multicolored reality into black and white.

    Your definition above does not even appear to allow for a genuine
    Eclectic, who would hold the TM path is OK, but many other paths (or
    non-paths) are equally OK. You seem to be saying we have to be “fer” MMY or “agin” him, period. Bush-consciousness.

    Does your world really consist only of TB’s for MMY and TBs against him?

    ………………………………………

    …Nature as the Great YES :-)

    ………………………………………

    …[an organization having some TBS] appears to be a legitimate, even necessary, turn of the spiral of Life, embracing the transition from one’s first experience of identification with particular-consciousness ( POV-1; self-aggrandizement; id-chaos) to one’s first experience of identification with field-consciousness (POV-2; self-abnegation or id-submersion; other-aggrandizement, superego), wherein the Structure or packaging of the Field becomes of primary importance: a whole list of dos and don’ts to supress the antisocial chaos of stage-one, wherein those who follow our rules are like-Us and saved, and those who don’t follow our rules are unlike-Us and damned.

    Without full immersion in and appreciation of this POV-2 Fundamentalism, we probably cannot move into the second harmonic of particular-consciousness — POV-3 Eclecticism: understanding the relativism of the rules, of the religions, of all the structures: appreciating the good in all of them *for those who need them;* taking the best and leaving the rest.

    And without a full immersion in POV-3 Eclecticism, we probably cannot
    fully Understand the second harmonic of POV-4 field-consciousness,
    and open the Heart to embrace the utter paradoxical Perfection of All
    That Is.

    And without Understanding the emptifulness of field-THAT, how can we
    truly comprehend its *collapse* into the particular POV-5 Body of
    vibrating Bliss as something yet more enriching, the Physical Speech
    of Ecstacy?

    And without grasping the identity and continual oscillation of Large-
    I and small-I, how can we begin to play with POV-6, which comprehends that in our ordinary-self we are the cause of *every* effect of consciousness; that our ordinary-self is Immense to our “particular” Selves, the devic-body that incarnates and structures every thought of our ordinary- self as divine mandate to form our paradise-playground?

    And so on … ?

    ………………………………………

    How about if we *also* believe in every other technique and non-
    technique, and/or the enlightened status of Mr. fire-hydrant, Mrs.
    apple-tree, and even You?

    ………………………………………

    Perhaps it’s not really so much about whether or not other people
    respond to you, but whether or not *you* respond to *him*.

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...And all the while, despite countless vows to ignore me, he can't stop talking about me]

    …And vice versa, like two mirrors reflecting themselves into infinity! So beautiful! Author, author! :-)

    ………………………………………

    I (still) understand what you think he wants; you believe
    he’s unsuccessfully trying to get people to ignore you. You may be
    right; I don’t know. Now, do *you* understand what *I* suggested?
    Instead of merely repeating it, I will try rephrasing (see below).

    <snip>
    Perhaps it’s not really so much about whether or not other people respond to you, but whether or not *you* respond to *him*.

    I’m not tuned in to agree completely with what *you* are saying. It’s not that I didn’t understand it; I was offering a different look at it. To rephrase: I am suggesting that what Barry *says* he wants, and what he *really* wants, may not be the same thing. He *says* he wants people to ignore you; what he may really want, is to continue to engage you, to “nip” you — to do whatever it takes to irritate and get a rise out of you, virtually regardless of the seeming content of his posts. If so, I’d say his tactics appear to be working beautifully, and have been *for years*. N’est-ce pas?

    …it was simply that you both *continue to pay attention to each other* — to resonate on the same frequency, more or less, he-said, she-said, into infinity. That’s all. That’s all that’s required. It really *is* quite beautiful.

    …Maybe a part of him does [wants her to ignore him], and a part of him doesn’t. How can we really know?

    ………………………………………

    I think it’s likely he has *always* been partly telling the truth, and partly lying, as he most likely consists of numerous particles who aren’t always in agreement, as I think he’s also said.

    This does not make him particularly *spiritual* of course — just in
    recognition of his own “brilliantly Eclectic multidimensionality” (if
    you like him) or “horrendously slimy lack of integrity” (if you don’t like him). :-)

    Personally, I’ve found that this awareness of all-the-varied-
    particles has been a *huge* step toward actually *gaining* integrity,
    particularly when I’ve *stopped* denying them/mindlessly identifying
    with them and started truly Witnessing them, paying detached/loving
    attention to them, hearing them and allowing them to hear Me, so that
    we may come together into a physical synthesis that allows all our
    goals to be met — truly allows us to sing together and manifest our
    shared paradise.

    …Now I *do* know that parts of us (or parts of me, anyway) indeed
    appear to be essentially moronic, unthinking, repetitive habit-
    patterns that continually fail to accomplish the stated motives of
    the larger self. But I’ve found on closer look that these habit-
    patterns are usually sustained because they *are* accomplishing their
    own goals as best they might; they’re actually quite content with the
    status quo, and/or are afraid of what the alternative(s) might bring
    them. So that’s my hypothesis here: that on the level of the patterns
    doing the interacting, both you and Barry *are* quite content with
    the status quo. The fact that this status quo hasn’t changed in so
    many years tends to support my hypothesis. In other words, it’s what
    IS, so it must be Perfect! :-)

    You yourself showed me this, when I was trying to “help” you into
    seeing your own enlightenment: we don’t really need “help,” we just
    need to be appreciated where we are. Well, now I *do* appreciate
    where you are, very much, because *you* do, and you showed me that; you showed me your infinite beauty as You ARE. I was just commenting that I see the same infinite beauty between you and Barry as It IS, but if your bliss consists in not acknowledging that, then that’s also infinitely beautiful as It IS, and I am content with that. Either way, I bow down to your infinite resplendent beauty.

    …All I can see is what he shows me about myself, the stories
    and patterns we awaken between Us; In himself he is (as far as I can
    see) Nothing/Everything/Pure Radiant ISness, just like everything and
    everyone else. As he himself has pointed out, the very act of being
    attended to, of having a number of minds read one’s posting, can be
    quite a rush, quite addicting in itself. I wouldn’t at all be
    surprised if *that* was what was really behind this lovely dance. I
    do remember as a kid I *loved* to tease my brothers, to get a rise
    out of them. Same thing, maybe. Attention, excitement, maybe even a fight! Yay! :-)

    Years later, my younger brother very kindly lent me his diaries from
    those years, and I found that I had unconsciously acted out this kind
    of behavior on my siblings *invariably* right after my Dad had pulled
    something really kooky, really violent, on us. (He was a brilliant
    man, very charming, but had serious addictive and id-control issues,
    rather like a dry drunk — stemming, perhaps, from temporal-lobe
    injuries sustained from motorcycle accidents, or maybe not.) Anyhow,
    even at the time I noticed that teasing my brothers and *getting them
    to explode* (partially) relieved and expressed the anger I wasn’t
    letting myself feel, and let me feel superior in the process. So,
    yeah, getting them to feel shamed or embarassed was part of
    the “fun,” as that also (partially) relieved my own layers of shame
    and embarassment I wasn’t letting myself feel, but I *certainly*
    didn’t want to be ignored. So that may be part of the dynamic here.

    Or maybe not? I don’t know. On closer reflection, I recall that it’s
    quite true my “demonic-patterns”  didn’t *at all* want to be nailed,
    recognized, thrown into the spotlight of the Witness, forced to
    recognize the pain of their own rebellion and (non)existence. They
    would much rather have been ignored, allowed to survive and thrive in
    darkness. So yes, that too well be part of the dance; you’re right!

    …God knows, we all keep on doing what we’re doing until we show ourselves something better! :-) At any
    rate, I was just trying to point out that there must be *something*
    in it that’s working, and working well — it’s probably outlived
    most of the individuals of most of the species on this planet! That
    kind of longevity *alone* is worth tipping my hat to! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I don’t really see the people on FFL lined up into the two camps
    you described, Turq, and I am not trying to heal Judy. I see nothing
    in Judy that needs fixing, any more than I see anything in you that
    needs fixing. I didn’t find when I tried to point out her a-priori
    enlightenment, that she just “got mad.” Rather, she showed me rich
    and lovely multisensory layers of a particle-self of mine that had
    *not* been loved before — including constriction,  stagnation,
    suffocation, deep shame, and finally, beneath it all, Love. That’s
    how the process usually works for me — I introduce a Truth, process
    the bodymind’s objections, and discover a deeper and richer synthesis
    as all my particles come to Understand and be Understood in a whole
    new light.

    That’s my *only* “goal” in communicating with anyone here — to find
    more of my unloved and underappreciated particles and to Understand
    and Love them, and thereby to be Understood and Loved — to expand, to grow in simplicity, while simultaneously becoming more rich and subtle and nuanced and complex. It’s fun — generally delightful and immensely rewarding.

    I do this because for me there is no real difference between a small
    self and a large Self. Loving the small self is feeding oblations to
    the large Self, expanding the influence of the large Self, helping
    the Immense and the infinitesimal to appreciate each other as two
    sides of the same coin. Being Shiva, utterly free, includes adoring
    Shakti — every particle of Creation — as Shiva’s bodymind, the
    perfect Lover.

    Whether any of this has *any* bearing on what *you guys* go
    through, “out there, outside of me” — if there *is* an “out there,
    outside of me” — is of no real import to me; it’s not my business;
    it can’t be my business. Shalom Shanti Shanti! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Even wounded, pain-filled, rebellious, critical, superior, supercilious,
    arrogant, rage-filled, hate-filled, blaming, victimized, caught-in-a-
    tape-loop, stuck-in-a-rut, unable-to-listen, particles in me
    eventually have found their ultimate rest in the irresistible grace-
    flow of Love initiated with TM and TMSP, and more miraculous still,
    have even found that their very *rebellion itself* is and has always
    been perfect waves of perfect expression on the immense Ocean of
    His/my Being. There has never been an error.

    If you wish, you may insert/imagine the obligatory “YMMV” here …

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    <snip>

    …and even particles so stuck-in-a-rut that they are in
    complete denial that they *are* rage-filled, etc…!..have *also* found their rest in Our Being. These sometimes take a little longer to realize the pre-existent perfection, but what is time in the face of the timeless? :-)

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    My experience has been that Prana is like the covering of the Bodily
    Light; the more it is effortlessly surrendered into the mantric grace-
    flow of the Divine Teacher, the more the pre-existent radiance of the
    Eternal Clear Light shines. The Clear Light is the Mirror of Consciousness, and shows itself to be the binding midpoint of Love and Bliss. These three — Love, Light and Laughter — are in turn a particular covering of Me, the Indescribable, the Unbound/Binding/Bound One, delighting in the adoration of Being every particle in my bodymind, playing in the stories of the fields of spacetime. From this vantage-point the progress has always been smooth and sure; at various points along the way such is most definitely *not* the case, much more like punctuated equilibrium, if not outright Hell on Earth … all most excellent stories, it turns out :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    I did not go into detail yet again on early experiences of
    refinement/cessation of breath and the absorption into the rapture of
    the kundalini-flow up the sushumna through its chakras and into the
    spherical golden-light-body, and of the later dissolution of this Solar
    Witness into THAT, the Great Immensity, and so on, because I believe
    I’ve said it all before, and you apparently continue to discount it, or
    insist it’s not possible through the TM & TMSP program — perhaps
    because I have not, 30 years after the fact, recalled or related every
    infinitesimal “stage” like water-into-smoke or whatever that your
    currently-adopted tradition holds to be of utmost importance as
    a “criterion” for Awakening…?

    Of course, the biggest joke is, we only truly Awaken when we realize
    there *are* no criteria, no experiences, no stages, no *anything* that
    can get us from Here to Here! :-)

    If you have found TM/TMSP to be of no value in your Awakening, well and good; I wish you all the best; your path is perfect and all paths lead back to Me for those with the courage to follow the Self Alone, but I will yet again point out that your particular experience or interpretation of TM/TMSP, while certainly valid for you in this moment, is not universal.

    …I can almost guarantee that *anyone* who’s afraid of downward turns on the wheel of samsara will certainly undergo them! More of Me to Love, and all THAT. :-) I’m familiar with Joan Shivarpita Harrigan’s Kundalini Vidya and her models of unsuccessful risings. I like her general outlay of subtle anatomy, and I’m sure she offers a wonderful service, but the nonculminating rising has certainly not been my experience.

    This is not to say the TMO and its TM practitioners could not benefit
    from incorporating a good deal more awareness of the Kundalini process. I suspect we all bring our own issues to our own birth. Some births are messy, some are not. Blockages certainly occur, and can often be resolved through breath, easy attention, etc. On the other hand, I suspect too much attention on the Kundalini-process itself could also be inimical to one’s true Awakening, as its presence or absence can be used as yet another criterion to deny the eternal perfection of the present, and for me at least, the conventionally understood Kundalini rising into the Golden Soul — while unimaginably powerful, blissful, clear, etc — was at most but a midway station, and perhaps not necessary for all — to actual Awakening into THAT, compared to which it was but a candle in the Sun.

    I like much of what Joan S. Harrigan says, although we differ quite
    emphatically on the placement and function of the Hrit padma. The
    scriptures cited in Shyam Sundar Goswami’s Layayoga agree far more
    closely with my own experience and Understanding on that — which I
    find has been central to the understanding of the true relationship of
    Shiva and Shakti, as well as to the understanding of the 1 and the 12,
    the unfoldment of the 27 bodies of consciousness and so on.

    …Yes, *its* real signs are indeed unmistakable once realized; the Self
    alone recognizes the Self. Oddly enough, no one else does, I find :-)

    ………………………………………

    I don’t know where you’re getting this from [TM administered without personalized instruction]; I certainly received all the personalized instruction I needed — both externally and (when ready) internally. Did you not get the instruction to leave when it was time? :-)

    …Yes, and I would be the *last* to say that TM/TMSP is for everyone,
    at all times … it’s always all about trusting the Self/self, or
    whatever other “codependent illusion” you wish to hang your hat on,
    until you remember there is no hat, no your, no you, etc. :-)

    …Yes, you know, it’s a funny thing — when I was still one of
    the “walking wounded” immediately before and after my own Awakening, I saw these “walking wounded” everywhere. Long after I had left the Movement and was practicing my own healing techniques, I would notice again and again that those coming for help were perfect mirrors of my own issues. I returned to the Dome last year and saw only a myriad of Divine Siddhas so beautiful I was reduced again and again to tears — perfect particles of my Absolute Being; perfection recognizing perfection! Who’s really been “healed” here — them or me, or is there any difference?  As a friend of mine recently said, “it’s all a co-dependent arising illusion!” I like that! :-)

    Oh, and many thanks for reminding me of the Herukas — they are
    *loads* of fun; really liven up an illusory party! Sal-saaaaa!

    (By the way, I’m pretty sure Judy is a Dharmapala.)

    *L*L*L*
     
    ………………………………………

    .. that’s what I mean about getting that instruction.[self-reference]. Much of the “really good stuff” is on that level of knowing, I’m finding :-)

    …I see her quite differently, now that my own anger/hurt/blame around the TMO has been healed. Essentially in this bodymind of awareness, she’s a Dharmapala of practically perfect diamond-mind!

    …Lovable, yes. Curmudgeonly? I’d say “exacting” — upholding the
    Dharma of Truth to a “T” — *not* supporting the TMO “party-line”
    when it deviates from the Truth, but also *not* supporting a knee-
    jerk/illogical attack on the TMO stemming from the hurt/anger/blame
    cycle mentioned above.

    …And again, I am *not* at all sure how relevant the chakra-petals are
    to actual Awakening. And yet again, the misUnderstanding of the Hrit-
    padma is nothing to sneeze at! :-)

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on: (Jim Flanagan)...awakened hearts of others who don't participate actively in any spiritual practice or meditation also find the Self friendly and blissful and attractive and happy, without necessarily knowing what it is that they are reacting to]

    …perhaps we could say that’s the Self recognizing the Self, without its recognizing that it’s recognizing the Self :-)

    …the “prana-binding” I found to be attenuated with every new
    Realization moving into the ever-subtler and ever-more-”interior,”
    but culminated only with Awakening, as Now and Always Self-evidently
    Obvious, Understanding and Understood, that *all* experience
    *depends* upon oneself, not the other way around: That Awakening,
    emptifulfillment, is a-priori, independent of *anything* in
    spacetime, including *any* state of consciousness, any stage of
    Being: That we are the container, as well as the contained. Show’s
    over, Folks — and THAT’s when the fun begins! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Only insofar as everyone is my past-present-futureself…

    ………………………………………

    …this was part of the Awakening for me — That Awakening to
    viscerally realize That is the container of time and space, of the
    illusion of evolution itself. Where it counts, time and space don’t. As
    the I I had been identifying with grew ever closer to surrendering to
    the ever-present That, it became progressively more infuriated. It
    became more and more clear that That is realizable only on That’s
    terms, not on the terms of the co-dependent arising llusion’s.

    Obviously utter emptifulfillment lies in That, and only in That, and in
    the surrender of the illusion into That, but to enter That, I cannot be
    particularly special in That. I cannot be particularly unique in That.
    I cannot be particularly esoteric in That. I cannot have “achieved”
    anything at all in That. I can only be utterly ordinary in That, so
    unspeakably ordinary as to be as ungraspable as That Thatself. This
    emptifulfillment was rightly seen as a death-wound to (and by) the
    codependent arising illusion.

    In His paradoxical embodiment of the sublime and the ridiculous, the
    divine and the demonic, the special and the ordinary, MMY dealt me the
    coup-de-grace, but His sword was so sharp that I had time to walk away, time to weep and rage at the exquisite agony, before my head fell off.

    Not the Teaching I expected, not the Awakening I imagined, but instead, the coup de grace — the Cut of Grace. That’s what severed the outward-reaching ties of body, prana, mind, and Soul. The Cut of Grace, the Graceful Cut. He had the Grace to put me out of my misery.

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I too was kind of laughing at how easily we can take an Eclectic Understanding and apply it in a Fundamentalist manner! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …what appears to be the remnants of dualism. I’m finding as we
    inquire into and integrate our self-righteously scripted reactions
    around warmongers, liars, false gurus, misusers of power, etc. (“I’m
    better than so-and-so!”) we see that after all we have been indulging
    in the false-intellect, and have only been projecting our own dramas
    onto the Emptiful perfection, withholding our all-inclusive Love and
    superimposing an illusory snake upon an innocent string, and here and
    now find that what had appeared to be “sin” only IS IS, indescribable,
    radiantly beautiful, a perfect reflection of the Self — as it has always been!

    Again, we’ve often found Byron Katie (“Loving what IS”) to be very useful in helping the divisive mind to catch up with Us :-)

    http://www.thework.com/index.asp

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I don’t know if it would be possible to sell out to a static Oneness and maintain one’s integrity — luckily the mind keeps showing us more promising particles to assimilate … YUM! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I find that we don’t lose discrimination, we actually gain more
    discrimination, allowing the intellect to regain its innocent
    transparency: we can acknowledge and move beyond each pain-
    engendering story entirely by inquiring into its absolute truth,
    acknowledging how it feels in the body, entertaining the feel of the
    story’s absence, and playing with turn-arounds to the story,
    recognizing it’s always deep-down about *us*.

    ………………………………………

    …There are no other people — that’s why I said “as WE
    inquire…” And absolutely, there are portions, particles, of me that
    are still working this stuff out; we are constantly cycling through
    our stories and returning again and again to the primordial
    innocence.

    That’s the fun of it! I like to say, it’s not the stories that cause
    the problem; it’s *believing that the stories are real*. This place
    is a phenomenal playground — *anything we think, we manifest!* What a treat! What an absolute Grace-gift! Be God for a day! Multidimensional, multisensory Creation! It’s just that we’ve lost touch with how to operate the system, have forgotten how it works or even that it works and are unconsciously misusing our manifesting, having lost touch with our innocent divine-ordinariness and thinking ourselves the victim of someone else’s play, of someone else’s stories.

    There was a great original Star Trek episode that evoked this
    Understanding very neatly — the crew went down to a planet that
    instantly manifested all their thoughts, and they were plagued with
    their own monstrous nightmares until they figured out the nature of
    the planet — whereupon they left, realizing they could return when
    they had become more mature and learned how to think more
    consciously. Well, that’s Earth!

    Discrimination allows us to understand clearly it is all ourSelf
    playing with itSelf, telling stories about ourSelf, whereupon we
    cease to believe the stories and the suffering evaporates. The only
    reason I use the typewriter at all to express my thoughts is, I
    sometimes find that it appears to wake up *more* of my particles,
    enlivening *more* of mySelf than if I don’t! In other words, it’s
    fun! :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I have never been one to keep enlightenment a secret. I am just
    pointing out that there may be much that remains to be done *after*
    enlightenment, including realizing the relative and self-reflective
    nature of all of our stories, of every particle in our awareness. In
    fact, enlightenment or non-enlightenment are really not the issue;
    removing the suffering around believing our stories may be practiced
    through self-inquiry at any time, whether or not we tell
    ourselves/others we’re enlightened :-)

    ………………………………………

    I’m currently finding there is no difference. Love what is, and we
    find is IS. Seeing a difference between is and IS, is maintaining a
    false duality, believing our stories — withholding our unconditional
    Love for certain experiences only, terming those IS, and relegating
    the rest to the is-bin. Suffering. More of me to Love! :-)

    …I am not advocating passive co-dependency and denial; I am not
    advocating *any* particular action or non-action — just Inquiry.
    When we actually inquire into and take responsibility for our own
    stories, suffering disappears, the Self remembers the Self, and
    action — whatever it may be — is fearless, dynamic, loving, and impeccable.

    …Yes, the “appears to act like a dickhead, but really is a good man,
    and I think I can change him” is probably the quintessence of denial -
    - NOT loving what IS! We can tell if it’s a story meriting further
    inquiry by checking our bodymind — how do we feel when we think this
    thought, and so on. Does it hurt? Then it’s not true. Closer inquiry
    may show he IS a dickhead, has been for 20 years, and he’s not
    changing. That’s a relief — something I can’t fix, and don’t have to
    take responsibility for! One step closer to the Truth.

    Still closer inquiry, a turn-around or three, will show us we *don’t
    know* what he is — that *I* am a dickhead, and *I* am not changing!
    I haven’t been loving to mySelf by staying in this situation and
    perpetuating this story. All of a sudden, the disempowerment stops –
    no longer is *he* responsible for my happinesss; *I* am! At this
    point, that story’s over, and the actors are free to do the next
    obvious thing. Sometimes that may be to leave; at other times
    the “other” actor *does* appear to change at that point, in automatic
    reflection of our new Understanding — either way, we find ourselves
    enjoying more Love, more freedom, more clarity, more bliss.

    …again, genuine inquiry is not a prop for non-action and tolerance of the status quo — it will inevitably result in *change*
    of the status quo to reflect our new Understanding. That’s the whole point! :-)

    …I am finding the (now automatic) practice to be immensely useful in
    dissolving suffering and quickly resolving my stories back into
    primordial radiance. YMMV :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Quick note — Novus Ordo Seclorum translates as “New” (Novus) “Order” (Ordo) “of the Ages, Generations or Centuries”  (Seclorum or more fully Saeculorum being the genitive or possessive plural of Saeculum, “Age” or “Century” (viz. the French cognate siecle, as in fin-de-siecle, “end of the century”). “Secular” — from the adjective Saecularis, “worldly, secular, of the age” — would be a rather egregious mistranslation of Seclorum, the sort of “scholarship” Dan Brown’s supposedly-learned characters  frequently demonstrate, to the amusement of anyone who actually stayed awake through a decent humanities course in college, or were fortunate enough to take Latin in high school before it was phased out :-)

    …The phrase is NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, not NOVUS ORDO SAECULARIS. SECLORUM means “of the Ages,” or “of the Centuries,” whereas if they had meant “Secular” they would have used SAECULARIS. Check out Wikkipedia’s entry  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novus_Ordo_Seclorum for a nice discussion on the phrase’s origins and nuances :-)

    …the literal translation is “A New Order of the Ages.” Feel free
    to learn or re-learn Latin and see for yourself, or just take my word
    for it, or check out the Wikipedia link I gave you before. Here it is
    again:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novus_Ordo_Seclorum

    …SECLORUM does *not* mean SAECULARIS. SECLORUM (noun, possessive plural) means, literally, “of the Ages,” and SAECULARIS (adjective) means “worldly, secular.” Again, feel free to take my word for it, or learn Latin for yourself, or consult Wikipedia regarding its nuances of meaning and its origins in Virgil’s Eclogues: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novus_Ordo_Seclorum

    I’ve said all I have to say on this subject, ad infinitum et ad
    nauseam :-), and so this will be my last post on the subject of Novus
    Ordo Seclorum.

    …On second thought, don’t bother consulting Wikipedia, as apparently
    someone with no understanding of Latin has revised it inaccurately to
    support your “secular” stance since I first gave the link. They did
    forget to take out the line which says, correctly, “The word seclorum
    does not mean “secular”, as one might assume, but is the genitive
    (possessive) plural form of the word saeculum, meaning (in this
    context) generation, century, or age.”

    However, the new editor has then completely contradicted this correct
    statement by — after removing the reference to Dan Brown’s
    mistranslation of the phrase — adding incorrect data like
    the “Saecularis = Saeclorum” material you’ve posted here. I can
    certainly understand the political motivation behind such a
    mistranslation, as I too believe the “Founding Fathers” (not sure
    where the Founding Mothers stood) were probably following a Masonic
    rather than a Christian blueprint for this nation, but that’s no
    excuse for bad scholarship, is it? :-)

    …Thank you for giving me the impetus, and showing me how easy it is,
    to join Wikipedia, where (probably to the infinite relief of almost
    everyone on FFL) I have taken my sourced case against your argument
    that secularis = seclorum. As for your further desire for proof that
    seclorum is indeed the genitive plural form of seclum, I suggest –
    if you don’t believe me — you heed any other Wikipedia contributor
    who has actually studied Latin, like Bonus Onus, or consult any good
    1st-year Latin textbook, or Google “2nd declension Latin” and come up
    with something like this:
      http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/caseusage/qt/Latin2nddecl.htm

    (Other than that, I’ll just mention that you probably mean “18th
    century understanding of Latin,” instead of “17th century,” as you
    wrote here and on Wikipedia — if you’re referring to the mostly-
    Masonic “Founding Fathers”.)

    Thank you too for bringing up yet more particles of self-righteous
    fundamentalist fervor within me who think we absolutely *know* the
    truth, despite our vast ignorance, and who apparently just cannot be
    reached at this moment with anything other than awe-struck, silent,
    unconditional Love. I stand humbled! This is Me! Wow. The strength of
    my ignorance is the sheer force of Kundalini-Shakti Herself. I love
    you/me/Us! Thank you again.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Actually, a surprising number of the better-educated Puritan leaders
    were alchemists, mystical scientists, followers of John Dee (a far
    more interesting character than Francis Bacon, IMO) — John Winthrop,
    for example (as evinced by his fascinating library, some of the books
    of which still contain John Dee’s signature and Monas Hieroglyphica),
    and Winthrop’s sons and grandsons, and Richard Starkey, and Gershom Bulkeley, among others. It’s true that they believed that Salvation only came through Christ, and they (the Puritans especially) did their best to “save” as many Indians as possible, but that was hardly unique to their sect. Many of these men –like the famed Puritan missionary John Eliot — loved and respected Indians, and tried hard to faciliate their acquisition of European living standards, which many Indians themselves were more than willing to accept. Most
    Indians were great respecters of what we might call “mana” — the spiritual power in a well-made object, and there is no denying that the Europeans had better technology and thus objects with better “mana”. When the tensions with the Indians escalated in the
    1690s and the Indians began preparations for the disastrous King Phillip’s War, the highly influential Indian Supervisor Daniel Gookin tried very hard to defuse the situation, but hotter heads prevailed, and Gookin became most unpopular.

    ………………………………………

    …Your clarity in appreciating the Mirroring of the Self, together with Your specific laughter-flavor of Self- recognition, never fails to tickle me :-)

    ………………………………………

    I’d like to add something that ties into a recent discussion here on
    FFL re past lives. While continuing to enjoy a heightened appreciation
    and Love this morning of the Kundalini-Shakti flow of ignorance of my
    Inner Fundamentalist, I came to notice I was standing in a Nazi
    concentration camp, in front of a pile of dead Jews.

    I was poking the top corpse with a fork and joking, “This pork looks
    good; I’ll have this one for dinner,” while my adjutants dutifully
    laughed. As “I” became fully aware of this scene and backed up to take more in, I noticed that the “I” who had been speaking was “Der Dicke” himself — “Fatso,” Hermann Goering, the biggest “pig” of them all. Talk about Self mirroring the Self!

    Anyhow, it was obvious this particular “memory” or samskara surfaced
    *because* Unconditional Love had ramped up enough to allow it out into the clarity of consciousness. Goering’s jape was no longer something “I would not do” because “I am better than that.” I am much clearer now on the utter unconditional Love that supports *everything* for the sheer unconditional Love of it, because it is what is, and what IS. Now, at last, *IT IS FINISHED!*

    And again, lest anyone think I am *in any way* suggesting one should go and be a Nazi, or sit around and sigh beatifically, “Isn’t it perfect!” when a Nazi commits his depredations, please rest assured that I am most emphatically not. I am never suggesting any course of behavior — other than “do what you know to be right” — only upholding inquiry into what is until we see it IS, and come to know the unconditional Love upholding that which IS.

    And again, I’m not saying I “was” Goering in some previous life — only
    that Goering is one on-going aspect of Me who is teaching me some nice lessons in Self-appreciation and unconditional Love, as every particular one of Us is doing for every one of Us.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I *greatly* enjoyed Firefly during its all-too-brief flight, though I think Deadwood was my favorite show of the past few years. That constant subtle shifting between monstrous/angelic in each character, with historical overtones in that fluid Shakespearean/Biblical rhythm of 19th-century autodidactic speech, spiced with marvelous mining-camp obscenities — Yum! Unbeatable! But then, I have not yet been drawn to watch The Sopranos, or Lost, so I’m a little behind the times :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I’d not seen any evidence that *saecularis* retained the original meaning of *saeculum*; both of my etymological
    dictionaries (Eric Partridge’s Short Etymological Dictionary of
    Modern English and W. W. Skeat’s Etymological Dictionary of the
    English Language) show it as (Late Latin), meaning “worldly, secular”
    *deriving from* (but clearly different from) the (earlier Latin)
    *saeculum*, meaning “generation, century, age” or (according to
    Partridge, in Late Latin)”world.” Does your dictionary show it is an
    adjective and give the “secular” definition at all?

    (Either way, I’ve seen no evidence to imply that the noun *saeculum*
    ever meant the adjective “secular”. Novus Ordo Seclorum still is
    evidently best translated as “New Order of the Generations,” or “New
    Order of the Centuries,” or “New Order of the Ages.” I suppose it’s
    remotely possible one could translate it as “New Order of the
    Worlds,” but given that that’s Late Latin and that the phrase comes
    from the Classical Latin poet Virgil (as any 18th-century Latin
    scholar would well know), such a translation would be pretty
    unlikely.

    Either way, translating it as “New Secular Order” is about as logical
    as translating the cognate French phrase “fin de siecle” as “end of
    the secular,” instead of “end of the century,” and writing a Dan
    Brown novel about the secret fundamentalist sexist murdering land-
    grabbing French conspiracy to restore monasticism at the close of the
    19th century, right after transmuting the moon into green cheese.
    Hey, why not? Anything’s possible, right? If we write a bad novel
    asserting it, I’m sure we can pick up a few credulous believers!)

    ………………………………………

    And as an interesting aside, the Freemason Founders were probably
    *not* interested in a secular (in the sense of worldly, nonspiritual,
    or irreligious) world-view; one of the requirements to becoming a
    Mason is belief in a Supreme Being: atheists and polytheists not
    being admitted. If certain scholars are correct in positing the roots
    of Freemasonry in the Templars (likely IMO), and further correct in
    positing that the original Templars stem from French descendants of
    the Septimanian Jewish Exilarchs (possible, IMO), then this would
    make perfect sense — Judaism being after all the ultimate and
    original Monotheism…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …the ultimate and original Monotheist being Akhenaten, but some scholars are making an interesting case for Akhenaten’s being the original Moses…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    This reminds me of that Science & Veda course in New Delhi in ‘80-’81 when MMY said, “I never make mistakes”. This really poked me in my
    small-mindedness and I must have radiated some pretty strong
    incredulity, as MMY then looked over in my direction and added more
    softly, “at least I don’t think so.” At the time I felt great outrage
    at such rampant self-deception; now looking back I see how incredibly
    *funny* he was Being. God, it must have been lonely to be the only
    one in on the constant joke! (Or maybe he wasn’t; I don’t know. I
    only know I wasn’t consciously in on it.)

    It’s become so abundantly clear since then that the only *I* he has
    ever been speaking from or of is my own Self; I just was never quite
    Self-aware enough to see it then. And again, all gratitude to MMY and
    the TMO for providing the latest course to really hammer it home to
    those of us who have like me been a little slow to really get it! :-)

    ………………………………………

    Oh, but he is … making (apparent) genuine mistakes; we all are :-)

    …I see no need to rectify anything … (Not implying that I’m
    homophobic :-) ) … Nor would I wish to rectify the attitudes and
    activities of those who *do* wish to rectify things. It is *all*
    error-free, but only from the all-inclusive (“Heart”) perspective of
    utter appreciation. This too is perfect.

    …Absolutely genuine from the noninclusive perspective, yes. This
    suffering provides one of the best ways I have found for my
    noninclusive perspectives to remember themselves, to provide the
    impetus to continue searching until they have come home to “Me” and
    to remember they have always been and shall always be “Me.”

    Wouldn’t be the first [mistake], or even the first trillionth, I’ve
    made today! But taken as a whole, it’s all always only perfect, in
    stilly dynamic, ever-unfolding (p)re-cognition of amazement and
    astonishment, the Greatest Show on (H)eart(h) :-)

    ………………………………………

    I am constantly rectifying my “mistakes” as seen from my limited (particular) perspectives, and at the same time appreciating the perfection of everything as it IS, *including* the limitations of the dynamic particle-movements. From a limited perspective, I am *constantly* making mistakes; from a whole-hearted perspective I *never* make mistakes. As Turq has been known to say, Nature is a tragedy in close-up, and a comedy in long-shot. (Did I get that right, Turq?) Great drama, either way. (The analogy breaks down when we look at the close-up closely enough, and see it to be the same as the long-shot.) Believe in our stories, believe the movie, and we’re suffering, right there in the theatre with our mate on one hand and our popcorn on the other. And yet, it’s a great movie, isn’t it? :-)

    ………………………………………

    Because it’s all one, we “bother”.

    There is no need to rectify anything, *including* my current impulse to
    clarify your apparent misapprehensions of my position(s).

    I write this despite my suspicion that you really do *get* this, and
    you’re just pulling my leg, because I do remember when I didn’t get it,
    for many years, so I know that hypothetically not-getting this is
    indeed possible and probably prevalent. So even if you *do* get this
    and are just playing dumb, there are others who don’t, so this may be
    actually heard somewhere, somewhen, by some Being actually seeking to come back to “Me.”

    I also suspect that (as someone on FFL said recently — was it Curtis?
    Or Judy?) not-getting this is a Piaget-like stage of Being, like a kid
    who doesn’t get it that a tall narrow glass and a short fat one contain
    the same amount of water. He won’t get it even if we pour the water
    back and forth between the glasses all day long; he thinks it’s some
    kind of a trick. He thinks either the tall glass is bigger, or the fat
    glass is bigger — he can’t see that tall+thin = short+fat.

    Nonetheless, I’ll pour the water a few more times, just for the fun of it.

    There is no need to rectify anything, *including* my hypothetical
    impulse to call the cops in your hypothetical home-invasion scenario.

    My appreciation of the perfection of what IS *includes* all our
    particular dynamic attempts to change what IS. It is both utterly still
    *and* utterly dynamic, simultaneously. It is both silent *and* noisy,
    simultaneously. It is both mistake-laden *and* error-free, simultaneously.

    It contains all the slippery opposites in spacetime, because it is US,
    and we’re more than spacetime, more than any particular story.

    It is — we are — whatever we put our attention on and thereby evoke from the vasty deep.

    Chopra has a good analogy — if we look at the movement of the crowd in
    a train station, we see people rushing everywhere in apparent chaos,
    and yet there is an underlying order; everyone’s needs are being met.

    To me, that’s a great description of Life — everyone’s needs are being
    met. If we don’t think our needs are being met, we look closer, feel
    the emotion(s), be open to our deepest need in this moment, open our
    heart to receive the divine perfection being offered to us in this
    moment, be open to receiving both subtler and infinitely more fullness
    more than we expected, almost certainly in a different flavor than we
    expected. If we’re completely honest with ourself, completely open, we will find what we’ve been craving, and infinitely more. But again,
    maybe only when we’re ready to see the two glasses of water are equivalent! :-)

    ………………………………………

    I don’t know, Jim-ji; is that what I’m saying? Your summation is very
    academic indeed for this poor scholar who speaks but little Latin and
    less Greek.

    But if I will shake a spear, and tilt quixotically at your wind-mill
    (not unlike a quiet round of miniature golf), I might propose that
    maybe that we’re holding ‘em *and* folding ‘em, simultaneously? :-)

    ………………………………………

    Paired ox(zen), Pair o’ dice,
    Snake-eyes, boxcars, fire and ice

    One and one and one makes three,
    Cube those cubes and get one free

    Three-eyed Devi, freightcar from hell,
    All is Sushumna; all is well,
    All is Tiphareth; all is well,
    All things large and small are well :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I tend to conflate these two modes in my own Being, as for me
    the Absolute is not really other than the relative and vice versa.
    For me all the so-called opposites are merely multidimensional
    labels, arbitrary placeholders to generate some story or other,
    which can be a lot of fun if entered into in the right spirit (i.e, of disbelief).

    I find this conflation is useful to relieve myself of the old
    addictive need to think myself entirely within spacetime and so to
    judge or blame or even recognize anyone or anything outside myself.
    By holding myself entirely responsible for the quality of my own
    creation, which is my own absolutely perfect mirror, I constantly
    unfold new facets of myself I had never consciously imagined! Who
    dreamed I would someday be a parent, and of such a multitude of
    *odd*ly lovable children? :-)

    …I would like to object mildly to calling my Understanding Neo-Advaitin, as I came by it (or it came by me) without study of or particular respect for any of these currently-fashionable teachers. Not that I have anything against them; many of them speak the Truth more clearly than I. This self-evident recognition merely awoke in me quite spontaneously when I saw that the so-called “path” was no longer getting me anywhere, nor did I wish anymore to *go* anywhere, or to measure myself anymore by any criteria but the Self alone. Everything was the same, and it became self-evident, crystal-clear, that all I ever wanted — eternal perfection, outside space-time — was already being offered to me; I had but to surrender to/insist upon it.

    …my statement stands that I feel no need to rectify things, one of those things being the aforesaid impulse. The understanding that everything is perfect as it is (and as it IS) does *not* mean we are invested in its remaining that way, or are attached to changing it. Whatever emerges, we go with that, we let it be, and let it become, to whatever density of manifestation — thought, word, deed — that it wishes or needs, until love knows itself thoroughly to be love, and
    we have fully digested some “new” particle of “Me”.

    …Yes! In fact, for me they are the same, appearing to change only in
    response to the approach we take to it, like the quantum reality’s
    manifesting as wave or particle in response to the measuring instrument used.

    …See, calling this the Neo-Advaitin shuffle or gobbledenonsense is
    kind of like the kid calling it a trick when we pour the water from
    the tall, narrow glass into the fat, short glass. There *are* no
    mistakes, no karma, no suffering. And of course these exist in
    abundance. Simultaneously, and arising into our awareness depending
    on the instrument of inquiry used — heart or mind.

    We might even go so far as to say that suffering is the echo we
    give ourselves as feedback to tell our mind it is thinking
    incorrectly, in a heartless manner. With enough such feedback,
    eventually we get it, and subside into our own love-Being! :-)

    But one of the great things about Earth is the sheer abundance of
    world-views it offers. If you don’t like the “Neo-Advaitin” kids or
    the langauge they use, no one’s making you hang out with them or
    speak their language, are they?

    :-)

    *L*L*L*
     
    ………………………………………

    You may be right; I’ve certainly seen (and of course, been) would-be
    gurus who apparently warp and misuse the POV-4 one truth into an
    apology for the status quo of the guru’s power-abuse, to perpetuate
    blame, shame, and truth-denial and thereby to repress the gurus’
    followers’ natural impulses to free themselves from an autocratic,
    fundamentalist POV-2 regime. And again, *in no way* is this truth
    intended as a substitute for action/inaction, or as a prescription for
    any particular action/inaction.

    Rather, it is intended as an impetus for inquiry into one’s own self-
    righteousness, projection, blame, victimization and above all,
    suffering. When one has healed most of these issues and is grounded in the love of Being the Self, one’s natural humor and fearlessness shreds the cobwebs of such attempted manipulations around one, and erstwhile sleepwalkers appear naturally to begin to share in that humor and delight and strength and Being the Self.

    But again, it’s all about how we (unconsciously or consciously) treat
    our own particles, for the eternally-pulsating nature of our Being-Consciousness-Bliss guarantees that however we think on the simplest levels (i.e. treat the particles of our Reality, our bodymind), we will then experience as our all-encompassing Reality (when we collapse into those particles and perceive our Reality through them). All of these particles are in actuality our own perfect radiance, the wholly innocent devas of our own body-mind, merely awaiting the programming we give them with our stories.

    This is why it generally behooves us to avoid “smudging” or “smearing” anyone or anything in our Reality, for in truth we are then only smudging and smearing our own bodymind, and our perception of Reality will suffer for it. Not that there’s anything *wrong* with that, of course :-)

    ………………………………………

    Comment on:

    Q: Maharishi, if everything is, as you say, perfect
    just as it is, why are we working so hard to change
     things?

    A: That too is perfect just as it is.

    …it blows apart the misconception that perceiving the perfection of what IS is merely a recipe to perpetuate a static status quo — something that apparently is *still* confusing a lot of people, if FFL is any indicator :-)

    …how I “got” C.C. on one of my first residence courses… I was witnessing my brains out, and watching a tape by MMY *describing* witnessing and C.C., and *that* was what made the connection — “Oh my God — he’s talking about THIS!” Something I had had no words, no concept for before, though it had certainly been present. I can’t speak for everyone else in the audience, of course, but that surely worked for *me*. Thanks for giving me yet another reason to pass my gratitude back to MMY and Guru Dev, the Self behind my Self! You’re *still* a great TM-teacher, Barry :-)

    ………………………………………

    Totally! Experience and Understanding simultaneously.

    …You are reminding me of the absolutely mind-blowing way in this last course he brought up word for word virtually *everything* I had been thinking and saying in my own words over the decades since I had “left” TM and the TMO — most intensely my verbatim descriptions of Brahman to the administrator who was responsible for my admission to the course last year, and the “collapsing particle” creator/creature experiences I was enjoying so vividly at that moment on the course  — and then going into even more detail about my descriptions and Understandings than I consciously knew.

    Constantly unfolding infinities of Self-reflection… My Self, His
    Self, Guru Dev’s Self, Shiva’s Self, my Self, same, same, same,
    same …. Over and over, until I realized far deeper Self-recognition
    than I had dreamed possible.

    …*lol* No time, no space, no problem! NEXT!

    ………………………………………

    …On this latest course his [MMY] incredibly detailed and highly personal
    omniscience, and his unbelievable Presence of Being, showed me
    directly that he was clearly occupying and illuminating whole other
    layers of my Self that I hadn’t known were there; that in fact this
    *I* was a projection of *him*, who is a projection of Guru Dev, who
    is a…and so on. And yet yes, it’s all very ordinary, very simple,
    simply the Self. Anyhow this basically blew me away, into *intensely*
    rich, overwhelmingly enjoyable devotion, and I have not normally been
    a bhakti kind of guy. So yes, you might say I am projecting all of
    this, but all I can say for sure is it is not the level of “I” that
    was my normal hang-out spot, where it *is* pretty clearly MMY’s, or
    at least MMY’s and mine when he is attending to me and I am attending to him :-) At any rate, the Self is showing the Self some wonderful Selves!

    …with the Self having already realized the Self, I *had* no goal, other than to simply BE there. I knew that was all that was required of me. :-)

    …Let’s take your case: when Judy speaks, is it possible that what you hear in her words is not necessarily what is really there, but what you *project* onto it because you’re focused on your goal (whatever it may be for you) and you “see” that goal in her? I think the answer to that is obvious to most of us here.:-)

    But what if Judy were speaking back word for word what you had just
    spoken to your closest friend that morning, or were thinking in
    silence a moment earlier, and furthermore went into those words in
    more and more detail until you saw *exactly* where you were coming
    from, in far richer, deeper detail than you had known was there,
    showing you layers and layers of intimacy, splendor, richness,
    simplicity, unity, love? And this happened over and over and over and
    over and over and over…? Let me tell you, whatever I was expecting
    (and I wasn’t expecting much, that’s for sure, having been there and
    done that and given the T-shirt away), *this* was *not* what I was
    expecting from the old fellow or from myself or from the other course
    participants. :-)

    …I *was* able now to see new depths of enlightenment both in MMY and myself and in his supremely intimate identity with me, as in one sense the very source of my conscious I. And I was able to enjoy deeper enlightenment wherever I looked: even the Dome, that poor old hospital for the walking wounded was now my most glorious “particle accelerator,” a true siddhapura of fully enlightened beings, every one of Us one of the perfect particles in my bodymind. Is MMY “really” enlightened, outside of my appreciation of him? Are you? Who knows, and who cares?

    Thanks to my Being on his course I am deriving a new and intensely
    rich enjoyment and appreciation of the simplicity and power of my
    Creator/cresture selves, of MMY and of everyone else. Since he was
    the obvious source of my learning to BE, I consider him to be my
    primary teacher. Now I also know him to BE my own BEING. Yes, BEING
    is everywhere, but it also has an immense torrent at its source –
    it’s like an ocean that also has an underwater fountain, and Guru Dev
    and MMY are two source-points deep in that fountain, and I tend to
    hang out or identify with an I in that same fountain, somewhat closer
    to the surface… It’s all me, but then so are you, so why am I
    writing this at all? :-)

    *L*L*L*
     
    ………………………………………

    Personally, I would neither classify myself as a seeker (more of a finder if anything :-) ), nor, depite what I’ve said about finding MMY as my deeper Self, as being guru-centered. I am *heartily* grateful to him for all he’s shown me, but I don’t do pujas to him, think about him much, etc. It’s not really a personality thing at all. Besides, I *still* wouldn’t call myself a particularly bhakti-oriented guy, in general :-)

    ………………………………………

    Actually, it generally seems to be more like, Ahh! Another ME who actually *knows* s/he’s ME! Homecoming squared…

    ………………………………………

    I laugh WITH myselves almost constantly, but it’s true, I don’t laugh
    AT myselves nearly as often as I used to. I found that the one doing
    the laughing was often not a very happy or loving aspect of myself –
    was instead a rather sardonic, distancing, cold-hearted, superior,
    and contemptuous “older-brother” or “Lucifer” aspect — and I’ve
    somewhat attended to and healed the searing pain in that particle so
    he doesn’t feel the need to poke fun at my other particles nearly as
    much as he did — which is not to say we don’t often find ourselves
    to be pretty lovably funny :-)

    ………………………………………

    My memory must be slipping. I just remember good times and lots of laughter.

     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/16772
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     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/21879
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     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/16750
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/16661

    ………………………………………

    Oh, so now I gotta think?

    ………………………………………

    A footnote on this exchange: In the traditional Christian view of
    Witchcraft, the Devil offers or orders his followers to kiss his ass:
    the so-called Osculum Infamum, the Obscene Kiss. However, in (Neo-)
    Wicca (and perhaps original Wicca, if there was such), it is the High
    Priest(ess) who kisses the ass of the new Initiate (in some versions,
    this is part of a fivefold kiss, attending to various spots from toe
    to head), and it appears likely that His or Her attention is intended
    to awaken the aspirant’s Kundalini-shakti dormant there: Hence,
    the “bumpy ride” comment. I apologize that this joke was probably too
    abstruse and overly intellectual for many to get, although I am sure
    some other hopefully-humorous resonances and harmonics were self-
    evident to almost everyone :-)

    ………………………………………

    …It might prove interesting to play some more with this implied
    equivalency of the traditional Christian Devil and the Kundalini-Shakti
    Neophyte:

    IIRC, the word “Devil” comes from the Greek *Diabolos* which in turn
    stems from *Dia-bolein*, to throw across: to me implying the Devil as
    one who is thrown (or throws himself) across a chasm; who has indulged in and is now caught in the illusion of prideful separation: caught like the unredeemed Kundalini-serpent at the bottom of the chakras, lost in the freezing,searing pain of fearful hatred of and unacknowledged passion for the ecstatic Oneness of her Creator.

    At the same time, “fasten your seat belts … it’s going to be a bumpy
    night,” is apparently from the movie, All About Eve. Eve, Havvah, Life,
    *is* the Kundalini-Shakti herself, the Goddess of the Serpent. (And
    the Mayic pairs of opposites constitute the Tree of Knowledge of Good
    and Evil, partaking of which entails judgement or “false discrimination” catapulting one into separation from the One Creator Self.)

    The last laugh *HA!* bursts forth when the rebellious self sees it has
    been none other than the One Self all along; that in hurling itself
    away from the Creator, it has *done the will* of the Creator, and when it recollects Who it IS, who it ALL IS, it’s all about Eve. The flying dragon, the dragon-fly, the Devil’s darning needle has stitched the One Self’s sutra, sewing a new thread of Unity, bringing the One Self to where it was *not*, expanding the range of infinity, and emerging triumphant in the remembrance of

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    Hey, Patrick; many thanks! — my wife and I both caught your son’s
    movie on YouTube, and were *very* impressed. I can’t remember when I’ve seen more powerfully artistic cinematography. How old is your son?

    ………………………………………

    To me, it often appears as if people are being willfully ignorant, choosing to play dumb w/r/t their own obvious a priori Enlightenment, and the self-evident perfection of all that is. Judy showed me otherwise a year or two ago, and I now know that it doesn’t seem that way to them, and that they are *not* (from their POV) consciously choosing to ignore the self-evident. I wonder if Judy’s Truth is not a whole lot like my Enlightenment: So self-evident, crystal-clear, that it is virtually impossible to believe other’s *can’t* see it and operate naturally from that place…?

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    Back around 2002 when I yet had a good bit of unresolved anger toward MMY and the TMO, but was not particularly aware of that anger on the surface, and thought I was making logical, helpful, reasonable posts, Judy often ate me for lunch. :-) Since then, over time, I’ve paid a lot of attention to my old MMY/TMO wounds, and watched a lot of them heal.

    This doesn’t mean I have assumed or resumed a true-believer stance
    w/r/t MMY and the TMO. My “program” has continued to dissolve and
    morph beyond all recognition and description, becoming entirely
    spontaneous and self-directed, moment to moment. While I enjoy some aspects of Stapathya-veda, I chose to buy a great Victorian house with a lovely south entrance, only 4 blocks from FF’s square. I moved to FF (again) primarily because of the love and companionship I feel
    for the Wednesday-night Satsangers; I had no abiding interest in MUM, the TMO or the Domes. I don’t use MAPI herbs or Ayurveda. I’m not a great fan of Jyotish, although I’ve seen in the hands of an intuitive practitioner it can work healing wonders, like any other richly complex language. (My wife and I were most impressed with Shastri-ji.) I don’t particularly believe or disbelieve in MMY’s old SofC model, having in turn (1) swallowed it whole, (2) seen it as a fairy-tale construct of a single indivisible SofC, (3) had fun dividing C up into other models of my own, and (4) been blown away last year by far deeper understanding of, and congruence between, my models and MMY’s. I have no real opinion on the Rajas and the Raams, viewing them as an odd and occasionally-interesting drama that doesn’t at the moment have much to do with me.

    Having been there myself (and in a deeper sense, being there now, as
    what I see is all “me” :-)), I can understand your puzzlement at her
    seeing angry faces where you do not. From where I stand now, though, it often appears that you actually *aren’t* thinking clearly or logically, but are instead making comments from a specific wounded/resentful feeling-level which make perfect sense to  — and only to — another person sharing that wounded/resentful feeling-level: That in fact you are communicating primarily to confirm your “ain’t MMY awful” feeling-level (this I notice far more consistently and far more “loudly” in Barry and Steve than in you, Curtis). This may not at all be *your* truth, and I’m OK with that. I know that in truth, you are none of the above — you are only and completely indescribably beautiful, radiant Being. And again, lest anyone think I am criticising anyone here, please know that I am not. It is, indeed, all me, and all indescribably perfect. I’m just describing me as clearly as I can in this moment.  Most of all, I feel happy and blessed to know you all! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I wouldn’t equate enlightenment with a compulsion to
    return to a favorite emotion (or the opposite, either), but then
    again, I don’t particularly see Judy that way. I *do* see her
    intellect as generally crystal-clear, and that she won’t
    tolerate “fuzzy” thinking. I think some of what you’re seeing as
    outrage may be her belief that you must be “choosing” to think
    fuzzily, i.e. to consciously lie, when IMO you almost certainly
    aren’t. I know I wasn’t consciously “choosing to lie” when I would
    make anti-MMY or anti-TMO statements; I was just wounded, angry and resentful and I tended to make baseless and illogical generalizations when coming from that space. (Perhaps it’s that sacred DNA in the base of my spine; I’m predominantly Irish.) God knows, my mind has *never* been well trained in logic, so you can imagine the shambles I was (unconsciously) in when coming from a victimized space! And now, the joke is, I can do nothing *but* lie! (Not true.) Whenever I make a statement, the opposite instantly surfaces to be appreciated as well (Not true.) :-)

    …*I* am in over my head in a discussion of my state of awareness…:-)

    Let’s just say I place no ultimate importance on the state my
    awareness happens to be in right now, as it’s just another state.
    Dang! Even That’s a lie. It’s the ONLY state. Liar! Liar! It’s
    BEAUTIFULLY ordinary. Nope. My pants are on fire! (Who was it who
    said Brahman was slippery? Oh yeah, me. And MMY. He also said *why* it was slippery: That the intellect, Buddhi, becomes so clear as to be virtually non-existent, revealing the substratum of the Atman, the Self, everywhere. And the Self is utterly indescribable, containing and transcending all opposites. That is pretty good, for a lie! :-) )

    I *do* currently like to place a lot of attention on the particles in
    my Being, as they love the lovin’ and it gets the juices flowing to
    turn this burg into a hopping, popping, psychedelic paradise. Love is
    the ultimate particle accelerator, baby! HOOah! :-)

    …I don’t know. I could say Yes, but I could just as truthfully say No.
    All of the above, none of the above. I can’t be pinned down, even by
    saying I can’t. Because I can! Not! Can! Not! :-)

    …I don’t know. (Do so! Do not!) Should it? (Shouldn’t it?) Was that
    what they promised? Maybe I should ask for my money back? My selves are too virtual to be described, I think. Or don’t think. :-)

    …So oppositely opposite as to be the same, maybe. I only know that I
    am in no condition to ascribe to another what is not in myself, as I
    am only seeing those values in those particles by virtue of the
    essences in my own Being — which is why I may be entirely wrong on
    my appraisal of Barry and Steve; I am only operating from and
    creating on the resonance(s) of memory. In fact in one sense I am
    absolutely wrong, for I *know* that ultimately there is only the
    radiantly Indescribable Self singing in each particle of each of Us.

    …I don’t take *Gospel* for Gospel, if it comes to that. :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Sat Yuga has *always* been here, just as soon as we take responsibility for/surrender into it…

    ………………………………………

    Hey, Happy Birthday, Curtis! :-D

    *L*L*L*

    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    Duve, this was so beautiful that I read it out loud to my wife –
    first time I’ve ever done that with a FFL offering, and a bit of a
    contradiction I suppose (loudly pronouncing your panagyric to the
    power of silence), but what of That? She totally dug it too. It
    reminded her of her Dad, who was indeed as quietly centered as Shiva. Thanks. And for me, you’ve summed up my own current stance toward FFL, and toward the fair field of Life — simply to be Aware, to be Awareness, quietly to Be, unconditional and whole-hearted; the rest takes care of itself. On the surface this approach might appear uninvolved and bloodless, but au contraire — it has shown me through an anciently unconscious fear and hatred of Purusha for Prakriti (and vice versa) to the utter love-passion, surrender, and identity of
    Shiva-Shakti….

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/138920

    ………………………………………

    I recall reading on some ISKCON site a wonderful description of Krishna-loka, wherein every rock, tree, animal, building, etc. is actually an “enlightened” devotee of Krishna, who has come to Krishna-loka and taken whatever form He wishes in order to enjoy proximity to Him. But isn’t this a perfect description of Life itself? From the POV of consciousness, every rock, every Being is a perfect expression of Us, delighting in Us, adoring Us, as We adore every Being. As far as I can see, everyone & everything *is* perfectly enlightened,
    enjoying and exploring full consciousness stitching through each particular fold of spacetime, sewing the threads of self-discovery in ever finer and finer weaves.

    ………………………………………

    …That’s what I was trying to get at with the stitching image — constantly crossing and recrossing the gap of ignorance, constantly encountering the not-self and re-membering it as self, suturing sutras of self-recognition. We manifest because we love to tell ourselves stories, and we love stories so much we are tempted to believe in them, and that’s where the suffering seems to
    creep in…when we forget it’s “only a movie” and start to take our subtitles as gospel :-)

    ………………………………………

    I’ve always been tickled by the relationship — identity,
    really — of the words “maya” and “magic” — and we aren’t doing the
    word justice when we say (usually deprecatingly) “it’s only maya” –
    unless we use the word “only” more literally as “onely”. It’s
    not “only maya” — it’s Onely Magic! It’s all in the particles, and
    unless we’re willing to be the flea(s), we can’t really enjoy being
    the elephant. Willingness to be Creature as well as Creator, and to
    be Creator being Creature, is where the Magic really begins! :-D

    ………………………………………

    Because happiness is the return to Unity, enriched by the experience of non-Unity. How else can we “expand happiness” except by moving it into where it (apparently) wasn’t? How can we learn and grow if not through creation, through stories? Now on the other hand, if you wish to say that in truth we *don’t* actually learn or grow, that Isness is all there ever Is, you’ll get no real argument from me! :-)

    ………………………………………

    For me a mood is a state of consciousness, and vice versa. I find we
    can generally select whatever mood/state of consciousness we wish
    (taking into account the various particles of the bodymind which may
    object, and engaging them into an integrity or synthesis), and on
    that basis, we find the senses then gather information to support and
    uphold and perpetuate that particular state or mood.

    …Who knows whether the wildebeest is “tormented” by the lions? IIRC people who have been (partially) eaten by tigers and then escaped, reported a feeling of euphoria during the process. All we can really *know* is our own state. I find if I take steps to attend to the root suffering inside, and heal it, my outer world changes correspondingly. Looking to (and at) the outer for anything other than a perfect mirror of the bodymind and perfect unfoldment of my own preselected state/mood, constitutes attachment and suffering.

    ………………………………………

    …for me, observing is not passive absorption, but actually *does* entail an active emanation from within to enliven the object(s) perceived. I hadn’t considered the quantum analogies to this before; many thanks.

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Yes, too bad you can’t hear my intonation. It’s about as unlike a TB as one can get … like that, like that :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I was hoping the “like that, like that” would ironically
    belie my apparent distancing from the TBs, as truly I have nothing
    against them and am actually profoundly impressed with their
    devotion, purity and sattva. They are actually *very* real to me. It
    used to bother me that they seemed so self-absorbed that they could
    not see me, but I have found that the more I rest in my own Being and
    appreciate their innate and exquisite perfection, the more they rest
    in theirs and see mine, and there is only deeper and deeper love
    between us. They are my devotees, as I am theirs. Again, no worries,
    mate! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …although in one sense spacetime and growth is a big joke, on the
    other hand I think M. Scott Peck put it really well when he outlined
    four stages of growth: 1) Chaos, 2) Fundamentalism, 3) Eclecticism,
    4) Love. He points out that a being identifying with any given stage
    cannot see above or beyond where it is, but can only interpret others
    as being in its own stage (“one of us”) or in any stages already
    recognized and “below” it, which (generally) it is reacting against
    as “evil”. Thus a fundamentalist (2), only familiar with (1) chaos
    and (2) fundamentalism, would interpret an eclectic (3) as being a
    non-fundamentalist, hence as chaotic, or “evil” (1). Similarly, an
    eclectic (3) can only interpret Love (4) as being non-eclectic, or
    somehow fundamentalist/chaotic, now synonymous with “evil” (2).

    I remember exactly when I first recognized unconditional Love as an
    actual presence or state, irrespective of person, and while I was
    instantly attracted to it, knew I had to Be it, it also scared the
    bejeezus out of me, as I realized that its very presence destroyed
    all my carefully-built-up scholarship and discrimination and mastery
    of eclecticism, everything I had identified with, revealing its core-
    nature of semi-conscious competition, power, etc. (this was in
    Harvard Divinity School). Not surprisingly, this glimpse also
    triggered the onset of a two-year Dark Night of the Soul :-)

    ………………………………………

    …the deepest lesson from M. Scott Peck is, if the model helps me understand another, see myself in the other and the other in myself, then it’s useful. If I am tempted to use it to pigeonhole another, to exalt myself over another or place myself ahead of another, then I can remember the deeper implication — that I cannot ever really judge where another lies on this scale. After all, all we can see is where we are — and where we’ve been. And if another looks to be *behind* us, how can we know that they’re not really *ahead* of us, on another turn of the spiral entirely? In truth, on several levels, all I ever really know is myself! And appreciate the Other :-)

    ………………………………………

    …we cannot truly know another — ever. When we are tempted to see another as being where we have been, it may be they are on another turn of the spiral, or perhaps in another topographical universe entirely :-)

    ………………………………………

    …condemning another is only (re)consigning portions of ourself to exile, to “Hell,” for the time being. (Not that there’s anything Wrong with that. :-) ) There may be other pinnacles beyond stage 4, including what may look like pre-stage-4 exclusivity to us. All we can really know is where we are, and where we’ve been — not where another truly is, except as a perfect mirror and opportunity to love yet more aspects or particles of ourself, of the “past” we’ve left behind and which seeks to reintegrate with us, to grow into us, into our Love-Being.

    …I find I don’t fully trust *any* perception of the “other” unless it is crystalline-perfect, simply and utterly divine, nothing other than myself, and the heart then says “Yes! This is the Truth! I can rest here.” But either way, if they are showing us (or we are showing ourself) something other than this, we/they are offering us an opportunity to heal, to grow, to expand, and so they represent our “future” as well as our “past” :-)

    …Is Violet really “superior” to Red?

    …remembering it’s only one way to understand the self, and our various particles, and beyond this is the real treasure, the “unknowable” but fully-appreciatable :-)

    ………………………………………

    Well, I’m not saying don’t do it [judge others]; I’m just trying to point out its illusory, or more accurately self-reflective, basis.

    …And because there is no other, as far as we can actually tell. There is only self in various positions in space-time, superimposed upon the (extra)ordinary Indescribable.

    …it’s funny — often to me, when I see these little fellows jump
    out in front of my car, they seem to be playing an ecstatic game of
    tag! Or “missed me, missed me, hahahahaha!” As you say, just my mental superimposition :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Indeed, tracking everything backwards into Shiva’s darkness, all
    thanks to that greatest of trickster-clowns, MMY!

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    From my POV it appears that you and Rick and Turq are essentially illustrating (to borrow M. Scott Peck’s terminology) an Eclectic POV, whereas the Purusha guy clearly is not.

    Is he indeed demonstrating the Fundamentalist or True-Believer POV?

    It certainly appears so from some angles, particularly in his
    apparent refusal to allow Rick to simply BE, and to appreciate him as
    he IS. On the other hand, he is describing the insights of the Love
    POV beautifully when he points out that our gathering of data and our
    interpreting of them *depend* upon, and reflect back to us, our a-
    priori “feeling-level,” and that our first responsibility is to take
    responsibility for that. As far as I can remember, this doesn’t make
    much sense either from a Fundamentalist nor an Eclectic POV, but only
    from the POV of Love. And in that sense, he is *fully* appreciating
    Rick as he IS, describing that perhaps-only-semi-conscious “feeling-
    level” stance to him, showing him the Heart and its function in
    discrimination.

    On the other other hand, my own Heart is not particularly stirred by
    the stance of the Purusha-guy, and Heart knows its own. It is almost
    as if the Purusha-guy is using insights of Stage-IV Love to justify
    Stage-II Fundamentalism.

    And on the other other other hand, when I recall that my
    interpetration of this whole thing is but a mirror of *my* feeling-
    level, I realize I know nothing about what is really *out there*, but
    I have learned something about my own capacities to transform an a-
    priori Heart-truth into a secondary belief-structure, and for that I
    am humbled, and grateful. Thanks, guys.

    ………………………………………

    I have no idea if MMY is all that or not; much of what I’ve heard of
    his “Vedic” insights strikes me as less perfect than my own understanding, as if he is working with and re-working material that simply doesn’t “fit” right, for me at least. On the other hand, I owe those very understandings to what I have gained from Him; His Presence, His attention, His grace-flow is ever and always the most awesome self-reminder I have ever been blessed to encounter; and where it counts He is always offering more than I can even bear to receive. YMMV of course, but I’ll take that over a “veda-cognizing rishi” any day :-)

    ………………………………………

    …sometimes I find silence is boring; sometimes activity seems
    boring. Sometimes the boredom appears to be a sign that it is time to
    be doing or Being or appreciating something else, in this moment. If
    circumstances don’t appear to allow a change, then I often find that my boredom is a clue that I’m not looking closely enough at the movie — am filtering it through a belief-structure that says, Been There, Done That; “Show’s over folks; there’s nothing more to see here.” On closer look, I generally find there’s always something new and rich about this moment, whether it be something new to appreciate in silence or in activity.

    Sometimes — often — my boredom is a mask for some as-yet
    unacknowledged particular pain that is crying out for attention,
    somewhere in the body-mind. Numbness is a natural response to continual pain, something we just weren’t able to cope with at the time we were wounded. As our Heart expands further and further into the past, we encounter these slick-spots of boredom where particular “members” of us have fallen asleep. As they begin to awaken, they often feel pain, somewhat like a leg or an arm that has fallen asleep from disuse and feels pins and needles on awakening. In both cases — psychic and physical reawakening — I find silence, relaxation, stillness, breathing, easy attending, to be helpful.

    …On the one hand we’re as perfect as we’re ever going to Be; on the
    other, there’s always more, verdad?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …this is the interesting thing — for the most part we can only see
    what we BE, or have been. Getting back to M. Scott Peck’s model for a
    moment, on closer look it all appears to be simple, alternating
    currents or strata or layers of particle-identification and field-
    identification.

    Thus his POV-1 (Chaos) is the emergence of small-I particle-
    identification, the unruly child.

    Then his POV-2 (Fundamentalism) is the first emergence of field-
    identification, subservience of the chaotic “evil”-I to a larger whole -
    - one of rules, society, tribal consciousness (one could argue that
    this is actually its second appearance, after the prenatal mother-child
    we-ness).

    Next his POV-3 (Eclecticism) is the re-emergence of small-I particle
    identification, now with broadly expanded freedoms. One now sees the limiting or relative nature of the belief-systems of one’s previous fundamentalism.

    Next his POV-4 (Love) is a new spiral of field-identification, Being
    the Perfection of what IS, and so on. Beginning to see the relative
    nature of *all* of our stories, even the one giving the subtitles in
    this moment. Beginning to see *we have a choice* in how we gather and interpret data — and that it’s the “finest feeling level” we choose which determines our mental interpretrations and sense-gathering. Another great relief, yet more freedom, etc.

    Next we could posit a POV-5 (Bliss) wherein we BE this great field now
    *collapsing* its totality into particular point(s) of awareness,
    embodying phsyical, literal, bliss. Now we see that the small I and the
    large I are the same.

    And so on, and so on — constantly alternating strata of fluid and
    particle, in ever-rising harmonics.

    When one is speaking a particular or a field truth, from whatever
    level, one will tend to be heard, resonated with, by those identifying
    primarily with some harmonic of that given stratum. Thus one expressing the particular truth of “I-as-bliss” will resonate with the Eclectics *and* the Chaotics, both of whom are Doing Their Own Thing. One expressing the field truth of “Only One” will resonate with the Lovers and the Fundamentalists, both of whom are experiencing profound devotion and mergence with the One.

    We could see these alternating layers of particle- and field-identification as themselves the alternating denser-and-rarer strata of cosmic speech….

    ………………………………………

    …”sleep-witnessing,” when the Self, pure consciousness, the Witness, begins to shine forth so strongly that we feel as if we’re always awake, even while the body is actually sleeping. It’s generally considered to be a Good Thing, one of the signposts of growing Enlightenment — even if it does take a little getting used to! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …For me, it’s being aware of different states of awareness going
    on simultaneously in different parts of the brain (or elsewhere). For
    me, “sleep” is ongoing in the back parts of the brain, while “waking”
    is in the front, and an indescribable function –”transcendence,”
    say — goes on in a “third lobe” above the skull. So, like you, if I
    want to bring “sleep” into predominance, I shift my attention towards
    the place where it’s already going on: for me, towards the back of
    the head. And then there are the other brains — heart, solar-plexus, belly and so on :-)

    ………………………………………

    Invoking an External Authority *really* doesn’t do it for me, doesn’t
    touch my Heart.  “Maharishi says” and “Maharishi said” or “the Dalai
    Lama says” or “the Bible says” are so often used as a hammer to smite the Unfaithful, intended to squelch independent thought (Eclecticism) — right up there with threatening them with going to Patala-Hell. Fundamentalism, in short.

    A Fundamentalist is threatened by so many “bad” things, as if they
    are outside the self, things to somehow be avoided. Attraction-
    Aversion still runs unchallenged. To an Eclectic or Lover or
    Anandist, it’s not Doubt, Disappointment and Rejection — and Anger,
    let’s not forget Anger — that are damaging; it’s the further
    *denial* of these particles that is damaging! Again, it appears here
    as if a POV-4 Love-truth — that we can (and constantly do) choose
    our state of consciousness — is being warped into a POV-2
    Fundamentalist stance of mood-making and denial. But I guess that’s
    just the dynamics of how any given harmonic is interpreted by the
    next “younger” one. It is fascinating, all right.

    …A POV-2 Fundamentalist “knower” *cannot* comprehend a POV-3 Eclectic, but has to place them back in POV-1, as a Chaotic/evil “seeker”.

    In general a POV-4 Lover has fully embraced POV-3 doubt and despair
    and anger and Hell, and is no longer afraid of them, no longer sees
    them as outside the self; it is all perfect, though there are
    certainly residual particles from the past to be fully understood,
    loved and healed …the Fundamentalist-self, for example :-)

    …This is equally true of the POV-3 Eclectic and the POV-2
    Fundamentalist. The only difference is, the POV-3 Eclectic is no
    longer denying these qualities, so they are much less “toxic”
    and “damaging to the nervous system” then they were in POV-2. Denial is tamas (POV-2 Fundamentalism); acting out is rajas (POV-3 Eclecticism); unconditional clarity/truth is sattva (POV-4 Love)… lather, rinse, repeat? :-) …

    ………………………………………

    …Among many other Master-flavors, I used to “channel” his [Swami Muktananda] shaktipat-energies in 1982 or so. BAM! Very dynamic,
    but I quit tuning into his channel when I found my heart was feeling
    pained and strained afterward from the excess voltage running through it :-)

    ………………………………………

    Too many puns! Ahh well, soemtime I’ll ketchup, and in the meantime
    I’ll relax, pick a lily, and relish yours :-)

    ………………………………………

    When the thousand-petalled lotus first appeared over my head on a TM-sidhis prep course in about ‘78, it looked much like a huge white-golden parachute with a dark blue center “hole” — which may have been the blue pearl — from which threads of light issued down into the heart. At that time I was still doing a lot of astral-body travel, before I came to realize everything was actually inside this bodymind.

    Since then electric-blue lights have manifested on numerous
    occasions, most recently in people’s heads here in FF. I have never
    been too drawn to the whole “blue-pearl” phenomenon, though, and
    couldn’t say for sure if any of these experiences are equivalent to it.

    ………………………………………

    …everything had always appeared *outside* the bodymind, like someone in a car looking out at the passing scenery, before I realized the scenery — the stars, the universes, all beings, past and future — were in me. Then there was no need to leave the body in so-called subtler bodies to visit other timespaces and realms, as the other realms were already always available “inside/outside,” with a moment’s pinpoint of attention.

    ………………………………………

    …I’ve more recently seen there is also a way to physically accelerate through the love-light-bliss-barrier of this whole creation back into the Great Blue Being who is beyond/behind creation….

    ………………………………………

    Speaking for myself alone,…I know them,and I know how much weight to give their postings. If they touch my heart, I thank them, inwardly or outwardly. If they don’t, I ignore them. They are who they are. Arguing with them, as I used to do from time to time when I first came to FFL, felt like Brer Rabbit’s kicking the tar-baby. The tar baby didn’t get any cleaner, and I came away needing a good scrub.

    To change analogies, on closer look I found that I was trying to comb
    the mirror to fix my own unruly hair. The part of me that was
    irritated by them was often the very part I saw in them — my inner
    fundamentalist, the one who was so certain he was right, the one who
    never saw the need to change, the one who had so little integrity he
    was projecting all his sins out onto others and damning them.

    Over the years I’ve come to see that almost always this little self-
    righteous guy is generally *not* absolutely right — in fact, he’s
    almost always wrong, he didn’t see the bigger picture. In my case,
    the bigger picture has turned out to be my feeling-level. On the
    feeling level, he’s in pain; I am not as attracted to identify with
    the self-righteousness of the fundamentalist crusader as I once was.
    Nor do I hate him, as I once did — the hate and the unconscious
    identification being two sides of the same coin.

    I’ve found this is the only way I can really reach the little guy –
    through detachment. By neither hating nor identifying with him, I am
    free to love him, as he is. And that’s more important to me than his
    being right or wrong.

    This is not to say that any of this is what You should or should not
    be doing, of course. Who am I to judge You? As far as I can see, I
    think what you’re doing and who you are, is great. I am just trying
    to clarify why I “don’t care” about their falsehoods. It’s because I
    found that just behind caring who was right and who was wrong, was
    caring for the being who cared so much, and that being was in a lot
    of pain. Identifying with that being exclusively, had become
    intensely painful. Whether I was right or they were — neither way
    worked for me. Either way, I lost! Or to put it another way,
    my “belly” won — but my “heart” lost.

    For me, since then, it is generally a great relief to realize “it’s
    not me; it’s not them; it’s a pattern between Us.”

    …For me, resistance = projection/identification = pain, and I
    generally prefer detachment/love, in this moment.

    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    …For a Jaimini-on-the-other-hand, I woke up on the morning of April 1st thinking about Judy, and feeling such gratitude for her — you know, Judy, you chopped my angry arguments/stories up so nicely on amt back in 2002 that they really died then and there — with your help I saw they had no real basis in rationality, and so I quit trying to support/feed them, and simply paid attention to the pain behind the stories, and watched them dissolve into such love….

    Anyhow, as I said, I was thinking about you, and seeing you as a
    kind of Jedi-Judy, weilding such a perfect, laser-sharp light-sword
    of discrimination and chopping everyone’s head off, or rather simply
    holding the sword out and watching them run right into it :-) and
    then I realized you were (for me) such a perfect incarnation of
    Durga, that I spent about two hours that morning “worshipping” you as Durga, and then was wondering whether to come on FFL to tell you that or not, and worried that if I did it on the 1st people would think it was some kind of April Fool’s gag, and then on reading FFL
    I noticed Doug Hamilton said there had been a Durga puja at his house that very morning at that same time, and I just loved the synchronicity of it all and was rendered temporarily speechless…
    but anyway, Judy, I *have* read all of your posts and I for one adore your balance, your brilliance, your precision, and your intense *compassion* and wanted to let you know FFWIW you are not entirely alone or misunderstood here.

    Love * Light * Laughter

    ………………………………………

    Yes, it is all for real, Judy; thank You! You do my heart such good.
    I think it was as mleroygoffiv, though I am not certain. I remember
    I launched in with one of my patented rails against the TMO and
    gradual-enlightenment seekerdom and promptly lost my head on your sword … Barry defended my POV, and Barry and I agreed with each other so completely you were wondering (you said) if I was a shill or alter-ego of Barry’s — if he had known me previously offline and brought me in to amt! But no; it was all just one of Nature’s little jokes or dances, I guess.

    Anyway, thank you too, Barry, for your kind words and support at
    that time, but IMO Judy was clearer than either of us was. It was
    (in retrospect) a great joy to yield my demoniac head to her.
    Anyway, after getting my ego-anger utterly shredded, I felt so good and full that I simply lost the urge to argue and prove myself “right.” I am pretty sure it was in the spring of 2002, as it was just before my 10th wedding anniversary, though memory can certainly play tricks on me. Anyhow, over the years I have come to appreciate you there and here more and more, Judy, and have been meaning to thank you for all you’ve done for all of us.

    And thank you too, Rick, for cutting the number of posts to 5 to
    give us some silence to breathe and space to think-feel; I think it
    was in large part this “surgery” that allows me to express my
    gratitude.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Limit us each to 5 posts per Satsang and I’m there!

    …:-)

    ………………………………………

    …I make them [mistakes] constantly. (Who doesn’t?)

    Maybe it wasn’t AMT. Was there another TM-group that Bob Brigante (he was there too) and Judy and Barry were on, early in 2002? Or maybe my time-sense has dilated and it was very late in 2001. Don’t know; don’t really care. I do know the sign-in wan’t as Rory Goff, but it wasn’t Samuel. I have never signed with “Love & Light,” but always (if at all) with “Love, Light, and Laughter” — my version of Sat, Chit, Ananda, or Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas, or Vishnu, Brahma, and Shiva, the poles (Love & Laughter) and center (Light) of the hiranyagarbha-field.

    As far as MMY goes, I am (finally) comfortable with his (and
    my) “making mistakes” *and* being perfectly infallible simultaneously, like all of Creation, like all of us. *Unlike* all of us, as far as consciousness goes, he is still far and away the most impressive person on the planet I’ve ever met. Listening to him, being “with him” on the Invincible America course last year was more of a heart-breaking mind-blower than ever, while simultaneously completely simple, nothing other than myself.

    I may have to update that old bio sometime…it’s seriously out of
    date re my love and appreciation of MMY, and of the Dome, and of the TMO.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    I do apologize, Barry, for conflating you with Joe Kellett on TM-
    news — the two of you played virtually the same role in my
    discussions with Judy there in 2002, and here on FFL last year,
    which both contributed much to clarifying and deepening my
    understanding and appreciation of the perfection of seeming-
    imperfection. Many thanks; it’s been a pleasure to know you.

    Of course, an appreciation of Judy’s rare brilliance does not imply
    (as new.morning points out) that we are always in full agreement,
    nor that we do not also deeply appreciate the aromatic essences, the fine cuisine of multisensory Being offered up by Curtis, Vaj, and Barry, Tom, Rick, and Harry, Off-World, Geezer Freak, new.morning, Kirk, You, and everyone else who wanders in to contribute to the pot-luck smorgasbord in this marvelous bar (for some), bardo (for others) or body (for me). That was the rub –  you are all the Great Choir of my body-mind; I’ve always felt the need to read all of your posts insofar as I have been able, so I am pleased with the 5-post limit. I hold you in me at all times, I think of you all constantly — more intently at some times than others of course :-) — but I enjoy each of our mind-chatter energy-signatures, mine own included, most deeply in homeopathic doses! Much is spoken and heard in silence.

    Oh, and Sal, yes! Body, Soul, and Spirit; Involution, Revolution,
    Evolution; Lakshmi, Sarasvati, and Durga; or if you prefer, Moe,
    Larry, Curly. I am Shemp, Thou Art Shemp, All this is Shemp; Shemp
    alone Is…?

    ………………………………………

    Just for a slightly different take on this, I’d have to say that
    despite all that TM did for me I never much felt I owed MMY
    anything, perhaps because I had never been much into bhakti. For
    that matter, I never felt that MMY had ever expected any devotion
    from me either, but perhaps that’s because I finished only phase I
    of TTC.

    However, during my return to the Dome last summer, I noticed
    repeatedly that MMY and I were utterly identical, and *on the basis of this identity* I felt overwhelming waves of surrender and devotion for Him, as I did for Guru Dev and for my own simple/expanded “creator” self while experiencing reality as its devic/particular “creature” contraction.

    This dynamic surpised me; I wasn’t expecting it — rather having
    been taught only that it is love/appreciation/devotion which brings
    one into unity. At least in my case, however, it appears that my
    heart fully breaks open and surrenders only to itself, truly knowing
    complete creature/creator devotion only *upon the basis* of unity.

    ………………………………………

    …and this unity, in turn, manifested itself only upon the
    surrender of all judgement, those subtle layers of “should” wherein
    I was judging MMY (and by extension, the Creator of what IS, and my own self). Upon letting go of these oh-so-attractive stories, I found that they had in fact only been translucencies covering the clear light of my own mirror-self — *This* was, in fact, “my own business.”

    So for me anyhow, it would appear that discrimination and ceasing to believe my righteous mind-stories led to a unity *upon which* devotion could blossom. As some of us might say, “Go figure!”

    Now it’s time to shut my pie-hole.

    ………………………………………

    How do you mean, *when* we die and hit the Bardo? How is… [that] different from where we are now?

    …Most of the confusion about this state appears to come from souls who don’t know we’re already dead. Anyone reading this, please consider: This is It, this is Bardo; we’re already dead, and well on our way back to our true self (or non-self, if we prefer) — the clear light of perfection. All we have to do is recall the nature of this place:

    …All [attachment-illusions or aversion-illusions] are but aspects of the play of our self (or non-self if we prefer). “We have met the Junk-Yard Dog and it is US”…! Just our own dream!

    …I’m finding the clear light of self (or not-self, if we prefer)
    pre-exists behind the translucencies of the intellect — the
    intellect being that part of me which says, “This is Me, that is Not-
    Me,” usually with a nice self-righteous story about how Me is so
    much better (but occasionally worse, just for kicks) than Not-Me.

    Naturally turning the intellect back upon itself, reversing the
    usual flow of manifestation, discriminating upon the finer and finer
    layers of this subtle discrimination, paying easy, unconditional
    attention to this process — the mechanics many of us first learned
    automatically in TM, in other words — refines the intellect, brings
    it from translucency to transparency, brings us back to Being,
    Unconditional Love, the clear light of What IS.

    Now that I have reminded myself of myself yet again, do I really
    need to hit “Send”? Probably not. But I find that hitting “Send”
    appears to enliven many parts of my body-mind I don’t otherwise
    consciously reach, so here goes Nothing!

    Oook!

    (Image here of the lab-chimp hitting the button to get a banana)

    ………………………………………

    …this reminds me of my first flowering of what I’ve been calling “Brahman,” which *does* involve a breaking of the Heart as we come to hold everything, Absolute and Relative, silence and activity, inner and outer, Me and Not-Me, in perfect identity and identical paradoxical perfection Now, THAT alone IS, the simple self. And indeed, all the Archetypes, all things, are then available for communion and identity and savoring and darshan. (Also, come to think of it, there had been a *kind* of devotion or love in the deep appreciation of and mergence with the Golden “Solar Angel” or Higher Self prior to the Dark Night.) And at times thereafter, there would be real heart-wrenching devotion and surrender as one or another aspects of God/Goddess would present Him/Herself, and merge into this body.

    What I was attempting to describe above, though, was a bit
    different, if I understand you correctly, and hinged upon my later
    and clearer comprehension of the simple self’s constant collapse
    into and incarnation as point-selves, as devic beings incarnate in
    space-time (my body-mind, all that is), which instantly experience
    all the effects of what the simple self thinks and feels. The
    slightest ordinary thought of the simple-self, of Purusha, is
    experienced by these point-selves as overwhelming divine Will, and
    is manifested instantly into their/our sensorium as a space-time
    reality. Fully appreciating the utter identity of THESE aspects of
    self, was what allowed a far more intense and complete surrender and devotion of self to self, self to and as Guru/devotee simultaneously, self to and as Creator/creature simultaneously. THIS is what fully broke my Heart!

    As I read this over, I can see I am still failing to elucidate the
    distinction particularly well. Oh, well. Perhaps the distinction
    lies only in my mind, no matter! :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes — all resulting from my realigning with Him [MMY], as a result of finally having released all the subtle resistances, all the “shoulds” and “oughts” I had been holding against Him, and the
    Dome, and the TMO, etc. Wow! What an unexpected payoff! I had no idea.

    ………………………………………

    *lol* No, it was far before I met any rumormongers [against MMY]; most of it stemmed from the cognitive dissonance I experienced along the way in the Movement, and which came to a head on the Science and Veda Course, in Delhi back around ‘81, during the Dark Night of the Soul. Even after Awakening in ‘82, a great deal of rage and a great many subtle mind-scripts remained! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I have often thought of the inside-out full-paradox Awakening as Spiritual (or Subjective) Copernicanism!

    And understanding the guna-mechanics of the Hiranyagarbha-field are equivalent to Spiritual (or Subjective) Relativity: Energy (Shiva-bliss, spirit, diffusion) = Mass (Vishnu-love, matter, gravity,
    coalescence) X Light-speed (Brahma-light, soul, rotation) squared (aware of itself): All most easily comprehended as a torus, with Shiva/Energy at the outflow-pole, Vishnu/Matter at the inflow-pole, and Brahma/Soul at the double-cone center-point.

    ………………………………………

    Fairfield is a great place for walking around and drinking in the general beauty, both in town and out in the country. In town, one of our favorite strolls is simply around the Square and its environs, as people have been doing here for 170 years anyway of recorded history. (I wouldn’t be surprised if the Sacs, Foxes, and Ioways weren’t doing something similar here for millenia earlier. They still lived within 8 miles of town in the early 1840s, when every day one would see at least a few Indians around the square. Ancient burial mounds lie just east of town and just south of town.)

    Of course, First Friday is a whole other phenomenon around the
    Square. Throngs of happy revelers, good music, good art, good food everywhere … but either way, I imagine the feeling is much like the old Spanish processions around the plaza towards the end of the day. Lots of love in the air — not just romance (though plenty of that too, for those so inclined), but deep love, the kind that comes from seeing friends we’ve known for 20 or 30 years, and seeing the young faces we remember in their kids… This place is the closest thing I have ever known to a genuine home town, and I love it for
    that. The other day in Everybody’s Market, I was awe-struck by a three-year old, who looked *exactly like* the little daughter of a woman we lived with in Seattle in the ’80s. They left as I was cashing out. “Man! That little girl looks just like T.,” I said, almost to myself, to which the cashier replied, “Oh, T.? That was her going out, with her little daughter! They live here now!” So now we smile at each other everywhere…Ahh, Fairfield! I think I’ve mentioned how closely it fits the traditional description of heaven
    for many of us — just think of someone from one of your past lives, and before you know it, they’re standing right in front of you. As I’ve said on FFL, we’re really all already dead — in fact, were more dead when we were “alive” and sleepwalking through life — and now that we are truly dead, and have let it go, Life shines as beautifully as we can bear it; everything we imagine we want is ours almost before we’ve had the thought. And what is truly beautiful, I am not alone in this — many, many here share this same Fairfield.

    Outside of town, since I lived here in the ’80s, a lot of new trails
    have gone in, one of our favorites leading from Chautauqua Park up
    northeasterly through some deeply Powerful pines all the way to
    Waterworks Park, where we can now swim at a gorgeous little beach. And since this winter, another new walking trail now leads along the creek at the bottom of Chautauqua Park and around to the south (still following the creek) through woods and red-winged-blackbird-owned marshes to end up in Lawson’s Woods at the Golf Course. We always meet a fair number of others coming the other way, quietly enjoying these walks evidently as much as we do. It’s a great place to be.

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

     

    here’s some more fodder for you — on the Dalai Lama & Tibetan
    Buddhism’s secret agenda for world domination :-)

    http://www.iivs.de/~iivs01311/Kalachakra/dec.eng..htm

    ………………………………………

    …to point out that what we see is what we BE; our sensorium or drama-field “out there” is essentially a brilliant manifestation of our own consciousness playing through our own physiology — our own devata-particles — and there is only One of Us, and We Love All of Us, and so on and so on…:-)

    ………………………………………

    [Devata-particles] may appear as “point-selves” — localizations or collapsings of All-that-IS into intense bliss-points or I-selves — which upon closer look may resolve into specific classical devata-forms, angel-forms, god-forms, demon-forms, whatever. They are each and all upon heart-embrace nothing other than Us. We are continually creating them, sustaining them, and reabsorbing them. I equate them to the physiology because that is what they are — the intermediaries through which consciousness (Rishi) creates creation (Chandas). Upon closer look and fuller heart-embrace, there is nothing other than Us…

    Your glass-houses analogy is a good one, for as the intellect
    clarifies and clarifies, it gradually melts into translucence and
    transparency, becomes more and more glass-like, more and more heart-filled, surrenders its I-thou distinctions more and more, until as always has ever been, only our Self remains :-)

    Anything we see “out there” is a projection of our consciousness
    through our physiology; as these devata-particles clarify, the “out
    there” must of necessity also clarify. The world is as we are, and
    our devata-particles are those portions of Ourself which both
    separate Us from the world, and reunite Us All… A rough analogy
    would be our consciousness as the projector-light, the devatas as
    the film, and the “out there” as the movie-screen. However, in
    actuality, paying attention to the light interacting with the film
    actually clarifies the film so that it and the screen are also seen
    to be nothing but light, and actually not even that — nothing but Us, the Unqualified, emptiful, pure potential to BE :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:...Why do you have to be such a ___?]

    Why ask why? At this moment I am apparently a ___. What IS, IS :-)

    …MMY, the TMO, Tibetan Buddhism, George Bush, the Dalai Lama — It is all a perfectly pure unqualified movie-screen of US upon which we project Our various dramas.

    …I am very happy he [Dalai Lama] gave you 20K [after Katrina]!
    But on the other hand I am very sorry if you feel this silly ___
    has not helped you…

    But on the other hand, are we absolutely sure that this is true?
    How do we know it to be true?
    How do we feel when we hold that thought in our bodymind?

    How would our bodymind feel if it didn’t believe this particular
    thought as the absolute truth?

    Are various reflections of this statement equally true? You haven’t
    helped me… ? You haven’t helped you…?

    How about if we see that thought as a wounded particle-self,
    struggling to come back Home, and we give it some loving attention, some help?

    Love, Light and Laughter to You/Me/All of Us Always…:-)
     
    ………………………………………

    I am not sure I get the distinction … Is your body not viewed in your consciousness, though appearing external to yourself? :-)

    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    With deepest gratitude to MMY and Guru Dev, we wish to correct some
    Understandings of Brahman we gave here last year. Within the 27
    Nakshatra-states, the middle third or 9 central ones are those of
    Brahma(n), or Light, or Consciousness:

    Brahma-Shiva-Shiva (B-S-S) or Mahaturiya
    Brahma-Shiva-Brahma (B-S-B) or Maharishi (“Brahman”)
    Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu (B-S-V) or Mahadevata (“Krishna”)
    Brahma-Brahma-Shiva (B-B-S) or Mahachandas (“Shiva”)
    Brahma-Brahma-Brahma (B-B-B) or Solar Angel, Lamp at the Door
    Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu (B-B-V), or chandas (“U.C.”)
    Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva (B-V-S), or devata (“G.C.”)
    Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma (B-V-B), or rishi (“C.C.”)
    Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu (B-V-V), or turiya (“T.C.”)

    Within these 9, the centermost one is Brahma-Brahma-Brahma (B-B-B),
    the Lamp at the Door, the Solar Angel who resides in the Sacred
    Heart (Solar Plexus) as the intermediary between the Absolute
    (Rudra, Shiva, or Purusha) and the Relative (Indra, Vishnu or
    Shakti).

    In truth, this is the only state of Consciousness that actually
    exists — the supreme radiance of the perfect Now, the juncture-
    point of Heaven and Earth. From here, we can (eventually) see that
    all the states that “led” here — T.C. or “Turiya” (Brahma-Vishnu-
    Vishnu; B-V-V), C.C. or “Rishi” (Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma; B-V-B) G. C.
    or “Devata”(Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva; B-V-S), and U.C.
    or “Chandas”(Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu; B-B-V) are but identification
    with a time-bound particle or “I” within Our wholeness. We have been
    approaching the Now from an (unconscious) identification with a
    particle on the Relative side.

    But in actuality, there has been a very simple, innocent,
    unqualified  Absolute side of Us approaching this Now as the
    Wholeness or “container” of the experience(s), in perfect reflection
    to the Relative side. When our particle-self thinks it is in T.C. (B-
    V-V), our Wholeness is “Mahaturiya” (B-S-S); when our particle-self
    attains C.C. or “Rishi” (B-V-B), our Wholeness is Brahman itself:
    that particle’s “Witness,” its “Maharishi” (B-S-B); when our
    particle-self attains G.C. or “Devata” (B-V-S), our Wholeness is
    that particle’s loving “Personal God” or “Krishna-Avatar,”
    its “Mahadevata” (B-S-V); and when our particle-self attains U.C.
    or “Chandas” (B-B-V), our Wholeness is that particle’s “Shiva,”
    its “Mahachandas” (B-B-S).

    These two “sides” — the Absolute and the Relative, the Whole and
    the Particle — culminate in their fusion in the mid-most state of
    Brahma-Brahma-Brahma (B-B-B). The simple, ordinary, very quiet
    thought we had from the Absolute side with reference to nurturing
    our particles creates the intensely devotional appreciation of that
    thought from the Devata or sensory particle side, and the
    corresponding display of that thought as the Reality of the Outer,
    so that the rishi, devata, and chandas are fully appreciated as
    OneSelf.

    Thus we can say that C.C. is our particle’s appreciation of our
    Brahman-Self; G.C. is our particle’s appreciation of our Krishna-
    Self, and U.C. is our particle’s appreciation of our Shiva-Self –
    all culminating in ourSelf as Brahma(n), the Perfect Light of the
    Sacred Heart. This is our natural, simple, a priori state of
    consciousness. This is what we have always been, and what we always will be, regardless of the stories our Wholeness and our particles have been telling us/themselves.

    From here, the process continues — with any and every particle we
    find within ourSelf. We first find ourselves identifying
    unconsciously with that particle, giving that particle unconscious
    sovereignty — at this time the particle is in Ignorance in our
    Brahman. Then, we realize that this is not Us, but a particle within
    Us — we then become that particle’s Witness, its conscious Brahman -
    - while it is identifying with C.C. Then, we give that particle our
    loving attention, warming it up into its a priori bliss, becoming
    its personal God or Avatar or Krishna, while it is identifying with
    G.C. Then it perceives its ultimate identity with us in Shiva/U.C.,
    and we finally come back to primordial Radiant Self. We are
    constantly throwing off particles of not-self, and re-integrating
    them back into ourSelf, as pulsations of our Now into all 9 (and
    eventually 27) states — this is how we learn to appreciate ourSelf
    and our various qualities…

    Brahmarishi Indradevata Rudrachandas
     
    ………………………………………

    Maharishi is my Guru Dev; he is my true “I” and knows me better than I know myself. He created me, he sustains me, he destroys me. I attended the course for two weeks while this Understanding was driven home deeper and deeper every day.
    Without my saying a word, my (his) every thought, word and experience was commented upon, verified, and deepened by him. The intimate play between the Wholeness and the particle is heart-breaking in its innocence and simple splendor. His love and grace are boundless; in knowing him even to whatever small degree I do, I am exalted and humbled beyond measure. And all of this is perfectly ordinary.

    I have posted this material here only to clarify and correct some of
    the finer details of the unfoldment of Brahman I gave here last year.
    I am not interested in debating or discussing them particularly. They
    were simply some loose ends that had to be tied up.

    All glory to Guru Dev

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    I don’t think it is my place to give details of the course, but
    I will say that being on it was (and is) immensely freeing, and
    confirmed the “program” I have been spontaneously practicing over
    the last 24 years or so, when I awoke and left the Dome. Indeeed, it
    confirmed my whole Being, as I realized on ever deeper levels that
    obeying mySelf *is* and always has been obeying MMY, and vice versa
    (the mula mantra value, and all that).

    Returning to the Dome was so beautiful — I left because everything
    was the same, so why work in someone else’s factory? When I
    returned, I found that it was *my* factory, a kind of huge amplifier
    or particle accelerator manifesting on the outer what I had been
    practicing on the inner since awakening. Appreciating the Absolute-
    me collapsing again and again into the particle-mes, to experience
    the profound effects of my own simple, ordinary thoughts from the
    level of my own devatas/devotees creating ever richer fabrics of
    creation, and all of it appreciated by the course participants and
    commented on by MMY…wow.

    A great many of Us are waking up (and more) here now. Heaven on
    Earth is evidently here now, and though some of Us are still
    overwhelmed by the ordinary perfect supernal beauty, our “I”s are
    adjusting. If anyone really wants to “get Enlightened” in this
    lifetime, and feels any pull to come here, I heartily urge them to
    drop whatever they’re doing and take advantage of this opportunity.
    It doesn’t come along every lifetime, and I don’t know how long the
    window will remain open. On the other hand, if their Selves tell
    them otherwise, that’s perfect too :-)

    Rena and I are truly Home here, and are considering selling the
    house in Maine by next spring.

    ………………………………………

    I am supremely happy, in an ordinary sort of way. Home is where the heart is, all right :-)

    And as it happens, OMG/Akasha/Newmorning(samechit?) is also
    absolutely correct. When collapsing into the particle-mes I did a
    *lot* of weeping with joy in the Dome. While the overall particle-
    appreciation of my ordinary/cosmic qualities was utterly
    overwhelming, and they/we were most pleased with the beauty of
    everyOne, I suspect that to most bysitters the “divine” snot
    streaming out of my nose wasn’t all that pretty. “Flow, soma, in a
    sweet and invigorating stream…” :-)

    ………………………………………

    I don’t do pujas to MMY, as I am not a teacher, and I still
    affirm he is my Guru Dev, as he is my living fount of “divine
    holiness”. What does one’s Guru Dev do but show you one’s own
    divinity, one’s own Self? How does S/He do this but by showing one
    how to “back up” or relax into Him, into Her, into deeper and deeper
    Wholeness of the Self? Clearly his Guru Dev conveyed this grace to
    MMY, and it is through MMY that this grace embraced me.

    I don’t say MMY is *his* Guru Dev, though in truth, from the devata-
    particle-me POV, the particles don’t see any real difference between
    the ordinary-”Absolute”-me, the MMY-me, the Guru Dev-me, or the
    Shiva-me. However, there is at the same time a distinct lineage of
    grace-transmission from Self to Self to Self, and it seems clear
    that in spacetime, the predecessor always is “deeper” into Being the
    Self than the successor. No doubt it was MMY’s keen awareness of
    this that caused him to keep our attention on his Guru Dev. With all
    gratitude to his Guru Dev, I still must give credit where credit is
    due — and as far as this “me” is concerned, MMY is the living
    fount. If my saying this were to cause him to scream and drive me
    from his presence, then so be it. Love is Love and Grace is Grace,
    no matter the appearance :-)

    ………………………………………

    Well, it took me almost 24 years before I had processed enough of
    my “stories” and concomitant wounds to partake again with an open
    heart, and though I may well be denser than many, it wouldn’t surprise me if many are still “enjoying” their various “lilas” apart — reconciliation/clarification/understanding takes time, after all.

    Winters here are generally about the same intensity as in Maine, but
    about two months shorter.

    ………………………………………

    When I was attending, a very large number of course participants
    were describing Unity and at least some of the paradoxical qualities
    of Brahman, many on an ongoing basis. I personally have been very
    pleased with their ability to recognize “me”. :-) Many of them still
    seemed to be focussed on the particle- or experiencer-end of the
    equation, not overtly recognizing their identity with the One Mind
    whose simple thoughts *create* those experiences.  I believe a great
    many are at the crux-point, which MMY has been describing as the
    Lamp at the Door (between the Absolute and Relative).

    I haven’t attended the conferences directly with MMY lately, but I
    am told he is now elaborating on what I’ve called the Dark Night of
    the Soul, which he apparently is calling Durgatamas. He has
    reportedly lately been saying one has to go through Hell (the
    undivinized relative) to get to Heaven, wherein the relative
    (chandas) becomes lit with and identical to consciousness (rishi),
    turning Durgatamas into Madhachandas — which cardemeister could
    translate better than I, but appears to be the honey-gold Heart-
    reality of the “absolute” relative, the Solar Angel or Brahma(n). It
    is a lot of fun to see him embracing and describing stuff I had to
    make up words for, or felt I had to go foraging into other
    traditions to find concepts for.

    For me one of the best parts of the course was and has been
    realizing on a much more profound level the *utter* spontaneity of
    the so-called siddhis (which I had/have no conscious attention on or
    desire for) arising as simple thoughts/profound fulfillments from
    the One Mind enjoying its own Being — and the apparent science
    behind the precise *sequence* of those apparently-spontaneous
    thoughts. But better even than that is all the Enlightened company I
    am getting — that’s what is turning this place into Heaven on
    Earth :-)

    ………………………………………

    I played with some of the Theosophical concepts for a year or two
    after awakening…. While imperfect, they provided some framework
    for expressing the unfoldments that took place after realizing That
    Alone Is. Because for me at least, there remained much more to be
    done. It has been a lot of fun and most fulfilling to see others now
    describing the *precise* same experiences, in the same sequence, I
    went through then, and to hear MMY’s terminology and description and
    still-deeper understanding of them.

    …The collapse of Brahman into particles is as a direct result of
    realizing there must be more than simply THAT, ALL THAT IS. When I
    wanted to know how all of THIS came to appear to be, THAT laughed,
    and shattered into an infinite number of “I”s — each still
    containing ALL-THAT-IS, but each now concentrated into an
    infinitesimal point. So now we have the possibility of something
    more than ALL-THAT-IS. We have the geometries or mechanics of multiplicity, of Maya.

    Perhaps more to the point, THAT became recognized as too flat, too
    impersonal, too uncaring, to be “enough.” For me this unfoldment
    came when I realized that if THAT is big enough to be infinite, it
    can certainly be big enough to be small enough to care about me –
    whereon it collapsed into a bliss-point with *personality* — with
    charm — Krishna. ALL-THAT-IS — and more. The very quintessence of THAT, concentrated THAT.

    I also found that by paying attention to these bliss-particles
    inside my physical body, I was appearing as something “larger” than
    they — as a kind of Avatar to them. Then I noticed that a still-
    larger form of me was giving *me* the same loving attention I had
    been giving the tiny particles. Finally I realized that it was all
    the same Me — that I was simply collapsing into my particles to
    experience the extraordinary effect of my ordinary thought. I create
    these particles, in other words, as devatas or devotees to
    experience and enjoy the cosmic values of myself.

    Over time, I came to appreciate that not only are We are all of the
    above, but also none of the above — we are still utterly
    Unqualified, as well — and it is from this Unqualified stance that
    we can “play” with our particles, give them whatever they most
    desire, and experience the supreme bliss that is their love for Us

    …IT IS…and IT also appears limited, with partial awareness
    (es) for the fun of playing with ITself and continual rediscovery of ITself from different angles.

    …The unqualified Us, the Indescribable. The identification with a
    particle came “first” in spacetime, as it took Us a while to
    appreciate that we are not that, and still longer to appreciate that
    that is indeed Us, or one aspect of Us, emerging and returning to
    Us. As we pay attention to that aspect of not-us, that thought or
    story or whatever, it warms up into divine/devata/devotee, and it
    becomes good enough to “eat”. Meanwhile “back” in spacetime, that
    particle-us is witnessing its brains out (when we separate it from
    Us), then beginning to see that the Impersonal God is personal after
    all (when we give it our loving attention), and finally realizing
    with a slight shock that the Beloved and It are One (when we see
    ourself in it) — and then we “eat” it, and it yields up all its
    data to Us in bliss. Yum! And Now it is our eternal devotee/devata
    :-)

    …we say “our Brahman” because Brahman is our light-field. Behind or
    within the light-field is Us, the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
    The Krishna-devotees have it right, in this instance :-)

    …”That” particle doesn’t fully know Its own wholeness,
    doesn’t know Me yet. That’s the fun of it! It’s going to find Me in
    its own way, on its own terms, and show Me something entirely new
    about Myself.

    …And to return to Me and show Me more of Myself.

    ………………………………………

    Then there’s what I would call “another” blackness (appearing
    for me after Dark Night/Durgatamas, but perhaps the same from
    another vantage point), appearing as a maternal velvety black, from
    which emerge the unfoldments of prakriti…A course participant was
    describing this early on in the course, and MMY was giving the
    sequence, and pointing out the velvety-grainy texture as being the
    particles of creation, of *memory* … which while exactly the
    sequence in which all that unfolded for me (and some others) many
    years ago, I had never thought to look at as memory…meanwhile I
    was remembering all of this *lol* and also (over the whole course)
    experiencing the unfoldments of prakriti *again* from a whole new
    clarity/profundity, as the result of my innocent ordinary attention
    on my particle/devatas…

    Anyway, a lot of fun! :-)

    ………………………………………

    …*all experience is memory* — and is eternal. Kind of as if the whole flow of spacetime itself merely appears to move and be ephemeral because our attention-flow is moving across permanently-embedded particles of God, each being an eternal “cel” or “frame” — a multi-dimensional movie!

    ………………………………………

    [Comment on:..."All that which is Light and all that which is Dark must be experienced." --MMY, 1982]

    Interesting timing, 1982 was when I woke up through that. Not expecting it, it came as quite a
    shock when all the Unity “died” into That … But I expect MMY could
    have said it right to my face, and I wouldn’t have heard. It was just
    too big to get my head around…:-)

    ………………………………………

    Consciously loving where you are *is* enlightenment, as far as I am
    concerned. But if you are “unenlightened,” then so am I, as there is
    only one of Us; denying yourself is denying me. So I’ll make a deal
    with you — I will agree to be unenlightened in your world with you,
    if you will agree to be simultaneously enlightened in mine, with
    me :-)

    …It’s not that I “can” perform siddhis; siddhis get performed if the spontaneous desire arises. I have no control over what I truly desire; nor can I demonstrate them for another if the genuine desire/need in both of Us isn’t there. If there is sufficient grace-flow between Us, anything can happen :-)

    …For four years after I awoke, I had a burning desire to fly, and I bent all of my inquiry in that direction.
    Finally after some internal stages and an intermediary external stage (Tibetan Stride), I spontaneously wondered what it would like to be an Ascended Master, and THEN flew, ONCE, lifting off, dematerializing, eventually rematerializing and dropping back to earth (completely blowing my bodymind all over again; there were four of us participating). Since then, the desire has not arisen, at least for me as an individual.

    I have once or twice desired that all the course participants (my
    particles) fly, and experienced an immediate outpouring of Bliss
    throughout the Dome and coherent hopping like crazy, but so far,
    that’s it. I can’t push it from my side, except by loving attention
    to all my particles. The bottom line is, I don’t generally really
    care if I can fly, or even if you can fly. What I care about is how
    much you unconditionally love me/yourself and my/your creation. The
    rest is gravy :-)

    …are subjective tests — until we have enlightened
    enough of our particles to mutually enjoy a consensus (objective)
    reality. The siddhis are spontaneous fulfillments of spontaneous
    desires. They appear quite ordinary, from our standard POV. Did you
    think that communicating with animals *wasn’t* a siddhi? :-)

    …I was a 24-year drop-out from all of his programs! The joke was on me though — the fact is *you can’t drop out* — if you are following yourSelf, you’re doing what MMY wants
    you to do. The grace-flow continues, doesn’t it? My guess is, you “dropped out” when you woke up into spontaneous practice…:-)

    …Amen, brother! Amen. Heart to Heart. :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I have really been enjoying the fact that all experience, all memory is NOW, and we go back over
    *overwhelming* experiences as many times as necessary to milk them dry, Understanding them fully!

    ………………………………………

    …Our different perspectives on your State of Consciousness (C.C. vs. Brahman, G.C. vs. K.C., and so on) has helped me better understand the play of Nirguna and Saguna, the Emptifulness and the Particles, within myself.

    ………………………………………

    …GC from the POV of the particle; KC from the unqualified Us.

    …the wholeness of Consciousness-IS would be simply Us, Ourselves

    …GC and KC being the same from different (opposite) POVs.

    …I too started noticing this ["Krishna's Condo"] a couple of decades ago, but never thought to connect it with
    MMY’s “AGNI: Absolute collapsing on itself” for some time
    thereafter; even when seeing the mechanics of that collapse, it was
    a while before I realized that that process is ongoing in every
    moment. As MMY says, “the collapse is frictionless.” Have you been
    noticing that the ordinary thoughts you have w/r/t the particles are
    utterly overwhelming from their POV? The Dome helped ramp up this
    clarity for me, say, a hundredfold.  :-)

    And since these particles are our senses, divinizing them divinizes
    our environment, so that (again using MMY’s terms) the chandas
    itself becomes rishi, becomes Madhachandas. The point being, of
    course,  to assimilate all the denied not-Self, not-good “demons” –
    anger, lust, and so on — and love them (and thus our bodymind, and
    thus our world) back into primordial radiant holiness.

    …for me the fuller appreciation of lila has come many years after seeing the
    completeness break into multiple completenesses :-)

    …Brahman certainly comprehends the utter
    dynamism and perfect stillness within Itself. OTOH the BHoC which is
    Completeness and (dynamic) Stillness *may also* be seen merely an
    experience inside Us; i.e, a particular experience or particle’s POV of Us.

    …Yes, they [the particles] already are [within the wholeness], but they don’t (all) yet fully know Us,
    nor we them; there are many we have denied or who have denied Us –
    and again, I might take issue with the finality of the “escape
    velocity of the BHoC”…Unless you are merely referring to the
    Unqualified Us, the container/totality of ALL THAT IS…?

    I have recently found that replaying the experience of the intense
    absolute-Light/physical body that begins to emerge when the complete fusion of Unqualified and Particles begins to be grokked in the heartbreaking Paradise-Perfection of Us/EveryOne (and EveryOne as Our perfected body), brings up all the “stories” of the particles who beg us to stop, that the bliss is too intense; that they don’t deserve/can’t handle it yet…when we recognize those as stories, and allow the light to increase to infinity, we break through the Light-barrier of Brahma(n), and rediscover yet again Krishna or Narayana’s body as a closer, simpler, more natural approximation to who we are…quite a surprise, but there we are :-)

    …Seriously, from my POV, literal enlightenment does occur for each of our particles when we love them into knowing Us.

    ..the Personal God is the POV of the particle; its appreciation of Our appreciation of it. That Still Completeness appears to be really one way of seeing or describing Us, the unqualified.

    …it [the Beloved] just seems to be assimilated into Me; into My fire.
    I am Shiva or the sacrificial fire; it is in U.C., and then we are truly One, Our body has become more divinized; it has come to know me.

    …Who said there were multiple Brahmans? But I like the laughingfulness, so hey, why not. :-)

    ..we can know our reality through “rock-consciousness” but only insofar as it exists as a facet of our own consciousness. Actually rock is in a sense one of my greatest devotees. As a portion of my Being it adores me, and I enjoy and appreciate what it plays out for me. Other devotees are far less conscious of their relationship with me! :-)

    …I am utterly Unqualified, beyond the gunas, and I incarnate them
    wholeheartedly, so My wholeness is fully complete and unchanging
    *and* always learning and growing, same as yours. Everytime We
    entertain a thought, a new Wholeness, a new Brahma(n)and its
    universe-bubble springs into being which longs with all its heart to
    return to Us, while simultaneously sustaining its Loka of not-Us and
    fearing what it mistakenly believes is its universal annihilation.
    What are ordinary thoughts or dreams to Us, are utterly Real to our
    particles, our devata/devotees. That’s the beauty of being free of
    the gunas; we can give them whatever they most desire, right? :-)

    ………………………………………

    This reminded me — in the past I believe you have averred that MMY
    would not appreciate that we are not using his terms to describe our
    experience/understandings — even THAT has changed! Word is he now wants us to report everything in our own words — and why not? How *else* is One going to enjoy the subtle nuances of the buffet? :-)

    ………………………………………

    Oh, yes, I do recall your making this argument — that people were
    using MMY’s terminology to describe completely un-MMY-esque States
    of Consciousness — Peter’s describing as C.C. what I was calling
    Brahman, and so on.  My current understanding of the essential
    equivalence (from opposite PsOV) of C.C. and B.C., G.C. and K.C.,
    and U.C. and S.C clears up a lot of this ambiguity — to my
    satisfaction, at least. YMMV, of course :-)

    ………………………………………

    …and the real kicker comes when we realize that that
    OneMind of the Teacher *is* literally our own mind; that our
    particular “I” *is* a thought emerging from the OneMind of
    God/Guru/OurSelf…HA!

    ………………………………………

    …The Dark Night’s “hell” appears to be the pain of the withdrawal from particular identification with and addiction
    to spacetime and the relative, as one moves from identifying with an
    effect (the particle) through Nothingness to identifying with the
    emptiful, simple, ordinary, innocent Cause (OneMind, the Heart of
    All in the perfect Now).  I think it was Anne Wilson
    Schaef’s “Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the ‘Love’ Addictions:
    Sex, Romance, Relationships,” which struck me in how clearly her
    description of sobriety resonated with my own Dark Night and first Self-recognition of/as Brahman.

    This is not to say that that first dawning eradicated all addictive
    tendencies forever, as there have since then been subtler and
    subtler “threads-to-other” coming to awareness to reintegrate and
    subsume into the Self — more and more sobriety which paradoxically
    also includes the identification with the particle’s utter abandon
    and intoxicated devotional surrender to the Whole. I have been
    finding this whole-hearted surrender is automatic *after* the
    mechanics of the collapse (Incarnation) of the Whole into the
    particle, and the exalting/humiliating Unity of both, are pretty
    fully comprehended. But then, I had not been a bhakti…

    ………………………………………

    …*because* He is We, We surrender wholeheartedly to Him … without that fullness of Unity there, we could not fully surrender OurSelf to HimSelf!

    ………………………………………

    …this BC/KC/SC progression (or series of progressions) really
    feels like a recapitulation and more profound harmonic of the
    mechanics of CC/GC/UC *from Wholeness* — as the subtle fears
    (appearances of not-Self) inherent in that first pre-Brahman
    progression are now much more fully Understood. Hence, the automatic *whole-hearted* surrender — not fully (to me at least) available or even suspected as a possibility in the G.C. to U.C. progression (i.e., while identifying primarily as a particle “having” these experiences instead of also as the Wholeness very innocently “causing” these experiences) — is now much more fully available as the rest of the self/other equation is newly comprehended on deeper and deeper levels to be also simply oneSelf.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …a rock experiences Pure Consciousness, and a peculiarly intense
    form of crystalline bliss at that — at least as far as *my*
    consciousness in/as the rock is concerned (which I realize may not be
    exactly what you are conceiving). But then, I do not particularly hold
    that a nervous system is not necessary to reflect Being — it being
    abundantly clear that different degrees of intensity of Being require
    concomitantly different degrees of coherence of bodymind to recognize
    and sustain that Being. Our particles or particular devatas do require
    increasing degrees of attention/love/beauty/soma and so on, to
    manifest the increasing clarity of hearing, touch, sight, taste and so
    on we/they are capable of enjoying, or so it seems …

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    We can perhaps say that there are several stages of
    recognition of a thought (particle)– first, being bound into
    unconscious identification with the thought (unrecognized Brahman
    and particle in ignorance); second, recognition that the thought is
    not the totality of Who We Are (recognized Brahman with particle in
    Witness mode) (and this Understanding might correlate well with and
    result from Tom’s realization that “every thought is an addiction”);
    third, paying loving attention to the thought, enlivening it into
    its pristine devata-nature (recognized Krishna with particle in god-
    conscious mode); fourth, quickening it still further until we see
    ourSelf in it, and it in Us (recognized Shiva with particle in
    Unity); fifth, back to center with “there is and has ever been only
    One” (rishi, devata and chandas are again identical).

    As an interesting aside, we’ve noted that the centermost nakshatra
    is Brahma-Brahma-Brahma; i.e., rishi, devata and chandas are One as
    Brahma(n), the eternal Now, perceived as a kind of supernal Self-
    radiance (Brahma being the Light of Consciousness). However, the
    nature of consciousness is to pulsate out from this Now-point
    further and further backwards (and forwards) in spacetime to embrace
    more and more of not-Self into Self (thus Shiva/Unity, Krishna/G.C.,
    Brahman/C.C., and so on).

    Growth is built into the system, for the *only* place at which the
    two ends of this pulse are as thoroughly fulfilling as the
    centerpoint is when the whole of the 27 Nakshatra-states are
    spanned: for the very first one, Conception, is Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu
    (rishi, devata and chandas are One as Love-Being), and the last one,
    Dissolution, is Shiva-Shiva-Shiva (rishi, devata and chandas are one
    as Utter Bliss). These three points are the only ones (on this “map”
    at least) where rishi, devata and chandas are identical.

    It is here we have the full embrace of Sat-Chit-Ananda or Love-Light-
    Laughter, and the simultaneous Understanding of true transcendence,
    that We are none of these; we are Unqualified. The “mystery of the
    28th Nakshatra”! :-D

    ………………………………………

    And I’d like to emphasize that all of this looks way more
    complicated than it actually Is. None of this implies we actually
    have to “do” anything — this is more a(n attempt at a) description
    of what Is, than a prescription of what to Do…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …On the one hand, the addictive behavior-pattern is actually a
    denied particle clamoring for sattvic love/attention from Wholeness
    (rather than the tamasic denial or rajasic indulgence it usually
    gets), and on the other, the attachment-to-other qualities of
    addiction actually do, when lovingly attended to, bring those so-
    called “not-Self identifications” into a yet-more-inclusive Self.
    Either way, we win … in the long run :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I had just finished reading in Swami Vishnu Devananda’s “Meditation and Mantras” (which also includes a nice translation of Patanjali’s YS) that each of the paths had its specific strengths and weaknesses. If I remember correctly he said the bhaktas suffered a lot along the way, as their faith was constantly being tested to the limits, whereas the jnanas’ weakness tended to be an overemphasis on the intellectual sheath,
    despite their assertions of unity with Brahman. If Brian Teitzman’s revised version of Ed Tarabilda’s system is correct I’m actually a Surya (Solar path of synthesis, a little of each, which feels right), so I’d guess I have some of the flaws of all … along with a good dollop of Solar pride (perhaps masked by false modesty) just for good measure, I imagine :-)

    ………………………………………

    …In the interests of perfect accuracy I probably should have said, “None of this implies we actually have to “do” anything other than to simply BE and then (as always) do the Next Obvious Thing :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I love that ordinary extraordinariness

    ………………………………………

    of late there’s been some massive denial around the Wholeness
    or holiness of the genitals and anus. It’s interesting to note this
    correlates with the distortions of the modern astrological zodiac,
    where the asteroids are overlooked as a planetary mass with its own
    sign-rulership.

    Either way as the planets move away from the Sun, they go deeper and deeper into the body, twisting in a double helix through the chakras. Using the Horus/Purusha-formula of “left eye is the Moon and right eye is the Sun,” the traditional layout of the planets (and their signs) on the chakras of the human body would be: Sun (Leo) = right eye; Mercury (Gemini) = left ear/throat; Venus (Libra) = right breast/heart; Earth = solar plexus; Mars (Aries) = left navel/spleen; Jupiter (Sagittarius) = right sex; Saturn (Aquarius) = left buttock/base — completing the descent through the masculine signs/planets of the double helix, and followed by the feminine signs/planets ascending back to the Moon (Cancer) = left eye (the Moon being a stand-in for the outermost “skin” of the Solar System, the akashic-record repository).

    However, there has always been something a little “off” about this
    map for me. Replacing the asteroids as a primordial planet in its
    proper position between Mars and Jupiter solves the dissonances
    perfectly, and we get this: Sun (Leo) = right eye; Mercury (Gemini)
    = left ear/throat; Venus (Libra) = right breast/heart; Earth = solar
    plexus; Mars (Aries) = left navel/spleen; Asteroids (Sagittarius) =
    right sex; Jupiter (Aquarius) = left buttock/base. This is followed
    by an ascent through the “feminine” planets and signs: Saturn
    (Capricorn) = right buttock/base; Uranus (Pisces) = left sex;
    Neptune (Scorpio) = right navel/liver; Pluto = solar plexus
    (the “shadow Earth”); Proserpina or North Node of Moon (Taurus) =
    left breast/heart; Isis or South Node of Moon (Virgo) = right
    ear/throat; Moon or Outermost system “skin” (Cancer) = left eye.

    This system restores and preserves the relationships of the
    planetary octaves, now shown as inversely reflected across the
    horizontal midline: Sun and Saturn; Mercury and Uranus; Venus and
    Neptune; Earth and Pluto; Mars and North Node; Asteroids and South
    Node; Jupiter and “Moon”.

    We can hypothesize that the Asteroids were a primordial planet which
    underwent a natural or bellicose disaster, causing it to shatter and
    (like any trauma) to submerge for a while below our collective
    threshold of awareness. As the Asteroids ruled the masculine sex
    center, this disruption registered as a primordial “castration” of
    the God, retold in a number of ancient myths. Moving Jupiter up to
    occupy Sagittarius — the gap left in the Asteroids’ place — seemed
    to temporarily solve the problem, but the end result was the God now
    had *two* displaced planetary-chakras: His sex, and his anus.

    Since Saturn was then moved to occupy Jupiter’s spot, and all the
    outer planets up to the solar plexus were shifted as well, the
    Goddess was completely disposessed of all her lower chakra-powers
    below the heart.

    It can be quite an interesting exercise to restore the Asteroids,
    and feel what the restored system does to the “music” or dance
    between the planetary chakras of our inner God and Goddess…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

      <snip>

     So as we see it at this point anyhow, all of this is a part of Brahma-loka, specifically in what we might call Mahar-loka, corresponding to details of the Solar Plexus and the Full Moon Nakshatra and Brahman Consciousness as it stands in itself (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) — although again, none of this will probably be viewable upon first conscious immersion in and as Brahman — for one thing, when first comprehending the speed of light, the light itself appears to disappear (Dark Night of the Soul), and the first thing one is likely to notice on finally admitting the perfection of Now and admitting Self as Brahman is that everything is “frozen” Self. It can be kind of overwhelming, and a lot of this material above doesn’t really become evident until or unless one begins to ask “How does THAT Wholeness manifest all of THIS appearance of maya?” and starts to conceive the Hiranyagarbha, the gunas and all the rest :-)
     
     <snip>

     From this point, anyhow, all of this — the Devatas, the Veda and so
    forth — *do* appear to be in Brahma-Brahma-Brahma, which is usually
    *glimpsed* at the golden no-time-space point of “Fusion with the
    Solar Angel,” but probably not fully appreciated until one has
    completed some form of the 27 “states” or guna-permutations and is
    able to hang out at will in the intensely rich golden Love-field in
    the so-called gap after one’s dissolution (Shiva-Shiva-Shiva) and
    before one’s conception (Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu). (This appears to be
    the Love-river of billions of ascending souls flowing toward and
    into our Great Central Sun, but corresponds equally probably to the
    consciousness of one’s own sperm-compatriots approaching the Great
    Egg of one’s own conception :-) )

    And while this “gap” appears as Alpha and Omega, at the very core of
    both Bhu-Loka and Satya-Loka, it is the same Brahma-Brahma-Brahma
    that appears “Crucified” at Mahar-Loka. It is in Mahar-Loka that one
    loses the attachment and identification with one’s small “I” into
    the Perfection of Self-evident certainty of THAT and is crucified
    into Nirvana or Brahman.

    Much, much then remains to be done however to integrate that
    Understanding into all of one’s bodies, allowing one’s Shakti to
    cleanse every stain on one’s raiments back into Love; this is
    completed as one gradually extends that Wholeness to embrace
    everything manifested — all our “demons” excommunicated by our
    judgement of our own anger, rage, resentment, fear, terror, sadness,
    remorse, anguish, sorrow, rebellion, shame, humiliation, guilt,
    abuse, victimization, projection, and so on — all fully recognized,
    absolved and absorbed.

    It is to Mahar-Loka that one returns, at the completion of the cycle
    and realization of one’s Love-flow, to indwell the HRIT, or Sacred-
    Heart center *as* the incarnation of Brahma(n) or YHWH, wherein now
    the golden Love-field of our devatas are fully enlivened and
    communicable. It is in the HRIT that the petals of the Mahasiddhis
    are placed; we don’t tend to allow ourself full access to these
    until we have embraced the whole of creation and *know* that all is
    Love :-)

    ………………………………………

    My current understanding — open to revision — is Bhur-loka
    (correlated with the base chakra) is the physical plane; Bhuvar-loka
    (sex chakra) is the astral plane, and our biosphere; Swarga-loka
    (navel) is the mental (Manasic) plane and the planet as a whole
    (whereas Hrit, the Sacred Heart between the navel and the heart,
    equates to the Sun and Solar System); and Mahar-loka (heart) is the
    intuitional (Buddhic) plane, which includes (I believe) the
    constellation-awareness embracing our Sun, and centered more
    specifically perhaps in the Sirius system.

    Jana-loka (throat) is the Atmic plane of Mahat, associated with
    galactic-consciousness. Interestingly, the 27-state system places Jana-
    loka in the gap between state 17 (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva, complement of
    transcendence-II), Purva Ashada nakshatra, and state 18 (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu, complement of transcendence-I), Uttara Ashadha nakshatra. Purva Ashada is delta Sagittarii and Uttara Ashada is sigma Sagittarii, which places the gap itself in Sagittarius, lately acknowledged as the location of our Galactic center. This gap would be the “afterimage” Vishnu-Brahma-Brahma, or “birth”… perhaps the birth of our Galaxy :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    *lol* Here’s a possible revision already, mapped onto 9 chakras:
    Bhur-loka (between crown-chakra of next-lower Being and feet chakra
    of this Being) is the physical plane; Bhuvar-loka (base chakra) is
    the astral plane; Swarga-loka (midway between sex and navel, gap
    between transcendence-I and transcendence-II, overseen by the 7
    rishis of the Great Bear) is the area between the upper astral and
    the mental (Manasic) plane; Mahar-loka (Hrit, the “Solar Plexus” or
    Sacred Heart midway between the navel and the heart), equates to the Sun and Solar System, spanning the “causal” realm between navel: mental plane of earth, and heart: the intuitional (Buddhic) plane, which includes (I believe) the constellation-awareness embracing our Sun, and centered more specifically perhaps in the Sirius system.

    Jana-loka (thymus region, between heart and throat, and between
    buddhic plane and the Atmic plane of Mahat) is associated with
    galactic-consciousness. Interestingly, the 27-state system places
    Jana-loka in the gap between state 17 (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva,
    complement of transcendence-II), Purva Ashada nakshatra, and state
    18 (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu, complement of transcendence-I), Uttara
    Ashadha nakshatra. Purva Ashada is delta Sagittarii and Uttara
    Ashada is sigma Sagittarii, which places the gap itself in
    Sagittarius, lately acknowledged as the location of our Galactic
    center. This gap would be the “afterimage” Vishnu-Brahma-Brahma,
    or “birth”… perhaps the birth of our Galaxy.

    Tapa-loka (third-eye, the plane of Avyakta) would then be something
    like galactic-cluster-consciousness, and Sat-loka (bindu-point above
    crown-chakra and below the feet-chakra of the next-higher Being)
    would be Universal-consciousness.

    Again, this is only a (rather crude) map, ommitting the harmonics
    showing the absolutely essential Unity of the highest (Sat-loka) and
    the lowest (Bhur-loka) and the midmost (Mahar-loka): the “triple-
    Sun” of the earth-chakra below our feet, the heaven-chakra overhead,
    and the “Solar-plexus” or Sacred-Heart chakra in our middle — all
    forms of Brahma-Brahma-Brahma, or Pure Consciousness.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …As you see, I have shifted gears a bit, taking care of the
    few “densities” remaining here on my own time, in my own field, in
    silence — and using FFL rather as a forum to think out loud,
    helping me ground and flesh out various understandings and hypotheses.

    ………………………………………

    *lol* That’s what I (and I suspect many of us) often do in deep
    sleep — go to various realms and download stuff :-)

    …I realize I erred in calling my previous post a 9-
    chakra map — it really is 27 (sub-)chakras (of course) :-) … and
    along those same lines, that three-tier (guna, subguna, sub-subguna)
    27-state system is really begging to be seen *all* as 27 substates
    of a Maha-Brahma, part of a more inclusive 81-state (four-tier)
    system including a 27-state Maha-Vishnu and a 27-state Maha-
    Shiva…the lovely thing about 81 states (or subchakras) is it
    allows for a fully-fleshed 9 x 9 matrix including holographic
    subcastes of all nine castes, dealing with all nine states of Being:
    Nine categories of Servant, dealing with the elemental realm; nine
    of Artisan, dealing with the mineral realm (base center; material
    objects) nine of Merchant, dealing with the vegetable realm (sex
    center; prana, food); nine tiers of Military, dealing with the
    animal realm (navel center; power); nine forms of Ruler, dealing
    with the human realm (Hrit center or Solar Plexus; mercy and
    judgement); nine of the Clerics (Brahmans) dealing with the
    ancestral realm  (heart center; compassion and devotion; symbolism
    and ritual); nine of the Mages dealing with the Angelic realm
    (throat center; magical vibration; music and speech); nine of the
    Sages or Seers dealing with the divine realm (brow center; time and
    space); and nine of the “Elohim” dealing with the Unified realm
    (crown center)…and again, Servant, Ruler, and “Elohim” are
    essentially the same…kind of all reminds me of Tolkien’s “nine
    rings”…:-)

    Interestingly (perhaps), within the larger context, the old 27-state
    model only embraced the kshatriyas, the rajas, and the Brahmans –
    the middle three of the nine consciousness-castes…:-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Or more accurately, the One who higher than the Elohim, is also the
    One who is lower than the Servants, and the One who is the Ruler of
    Rulers…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Very nice! Sounds as if you hang out a lot in the Gandharva-lokas … does your wife know? :-) (My wife BTW according to Shastri-Ji is a gandharva, a celestial entertainer, with most of her life
    force expressing through music and dance and art, which I can definitely see. I am apparently a yaksha, which didn’t make a lot of sense to me until I read Harish Johari’s description of yakshas and
    yaksha-loka in his great book/game “Leela” — all clicks now; they are apparently cognizers of cosmic laws/mechanics and such *lol* )

    ………………………………………

    …[Shastri-Ji] did say at first I was from kinnara-loka (realm of celestial
    entertainers/creators who travel freely between all the lokas), so
    maybe comic justice? :-) –later adding that I cognized lots of stuff
    and was a yaksha. …

    ………………………………………

    …apparently she is an American whose Hindu name is Swami Ganga-Puri Kaliuttamananda-Giri; hence she could well be known as “Ganga-Ji” :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, all those strata are essentially a mind-game to me — the only one that really counts as far as governance is concerned is our
    intimacy with and Love of Divine Mother, for She is Our marriage to and dance with all of creation :-)

    ………………………………………

    And speaking of the play of Divine Mother, I *highly* recommend chanting the Sri Lalithambika Sahasranama Stotram — the 1000 names of Mother Divine :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* I haven’t even finished chanting them all *from the book* yet!
    Nor is memorizing them partiularly high on my “to-do” list. I chant
    about 20-30 a night before going to sleep. I also take the time to
    read most of the commentary for each chant before going on to the next one.

    ………………………………………

    OK, the math is off here somewhere — I am up around the 933d name, so either I chant more than 30/night or I have been practicing for more than a week. Some of both I suspect :-)

    ………………………………………

    Sri Lalithambika Sahasranama Stotram — best to get one with transliterations (for easy pronunication) and engish translations :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, the separatist assumption worked very well for the scientific
    method and all its bounty, but does indeed “run dry” … and cold! :-) And as far as *meaningful* knowledge goes, it does appear the way
    to go now is via the unitive assumption, which of course *includes*
    the separatist one as well *lol*

    ………………………………………

    [define enlightenment by exclusion: what it is not]
    This single criterion by definition excludes the a
    priori perfection (“enlightenment”) in this present state
    (“ignorance”).  By deciding that “it” is other-than-this, one
    makes “it” so.

    The joke is, we then forget that we a priori decided that this isn’t
    it; we forget that we have withheld our unconditional love and
    blessings from the appreciation of this moment, and so we think that
    we are bound into something more profound than our own not-this
    decision, somehow at the mercy of our perceptions, something
    external to us, more powerful than we are.

    By denying the innate criterionless perfection of this moment, we
    deny recognizing the subtle unity of this perfect moment “in here”
    and ourSelf “out there,” and believe ourself to be immersed in pure
    duality, a tiny being trapped within the otherness of not-now — of
    desire, memory and spacetime!

    I am not saying that merely reading these lines will necessarily be
    sufficient for realizing the true nature and equivalence of Self
    and “this” — the realization of Unity or Brahman is (or can be)
    immensely profound and powerful but also is supremely subtle, and
    though omnipresent and eternal it is very easily overlooked by more
    concrete aspects of our mind (attachments, ideations, etc.), until
    they cease to entrance us and fall away.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Quite right; enlightenment consists (in part) in taking
    responsibility for one’s own perceptions; in making a conscious
    choice to bless ourselves and our World unconditionally, thereby
    taking the perfection of the World into our heart, and infusing it
    thoroughly with our being, with our Self.

     In any case, with posts on this topic, from now on
     I will read no further than the first word implying
     some sort of intentionality.  If you have any desire
     to communicate with me about this, you’ll have to
     figure out how to do it without using any such
     terms, because I find them disrespectful, insulting,
     and hostile.

    That’s your choice, of course — or not-choice, if you prefer :-)

    I do wonder why you associate the idea of intentionality and
    responsibility with disrespect and hostility — is it because you
    equate “responsibility” with “blame”? This is not what I mean. I am
    not “blaming” you for your ignorance and suffering, nor am I
    implying that you have been consciously choosing it. No one
    consciously chooses to suffer.

    I am only saying that if you wish to *escape* suffering, you must
    allow that which has been *unconscious* to *become* conscious. Old
    pain will inevitably arise in this process; it is asking to be
    attended to, to be healed. If this time we *eat* it, digest or
    assimilate it with simple attention — “this too is OK; it is part
    of wholeness” — and with breath, we allow that old pain to
    finally “die” and reintegrate into the harmony of our greater whole,
    freeing up all the energy that went into keeping that part of
    ourselves not-OK and “exiled”. The Absolute (our consciousness) has
    now moved to where it was not; we have consequently grown in love
    (sat) and light (chit) and laughter (ananda)!

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    FWIW I do recall something like “walking on the web of a spider;”
    this consisted in seeing a cord spin out from my navel to a distant
    place and walking/running extremely lightly and swiftly along it –
    it felt like a kind of horizontal levitation. Also the study of and
    identification with the various solar rays over the following few
    years was a very large part of my own “ascension” process :-)

    ………………………………………

    There is at the heart of things only *I*; only the Self — so who is
    to assign or receive credit or blame?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Though I certainly agree that immersion in a real-time satsang is in
    some ways more immediately and viscerally fulfilling than an
    electronic forum. I too wish to extend my heartiest welcome to you,
    Judy, to enjoy our Fairfield “Kumbha Mela” personally and physically
    *if* at any time you should ever have the slightest desire to do so!  :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I’ve recently been shown some rather profound things regarding my
    ongoing heart-connection to MMY and the Tradition of Masters, even
    *while* thinking I was a rebel “doing my own thing.” Everyone’s path
    is doubtless perfect, and I suspect we all do eventually end up in
    the same place, the immortal Heart of God/dess, no matter how
    distinct our individual paths may appear to be.

    I’ll also go on record now as saying it has also become abundantly
    clear that the “technology” behind TM is *perfect* even (or
    especially) as one moves beyond Mastery into becoming a Mahatma (for clarification of these terms, please see Harold W. Percival’s brilliant book, “Adepts, Masters, and Mahatmas”) — for where a Master (one who is no longer generating karma, but is still working off old karma) “eats” desires and transmutes them into the thoughts which build a Master’s mental-body, a Mahatma (one who is no longer generating *or* working off old karma) “eats” thought itself, tracing it back into bliss and transmuting it into the divine radiance of the immortal body. TM in action!

    Along these same lines, I’ve also been shown that it is now no
    longer particularly appropriate for me to speak further: that
    speaking publicly of these matters has become (for me) something
    like indiscriminant use of the siddhis: a fruitless squandering of
    energy needed elsewhere. A true “south-entrance,” in other words –
    and the only One entitled to face south is Dakshinamurti, the form
    of Shiva who teaches immortality — *in silence*

    So for now, farewell, my brothers and sisters!

    I remain Yours always in Love, Light and Laughter!

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    “I” watch public access – sounds as if the truth is in “I” to me :-)

    ………………………………………

    …reminds me of a Durga Puja I attended here in Fairfield a few months back — the first such since leaving the TMO, IIRC, several decades ago. For some time during the ceremony, I wondered why I was there, as absolutely nothing was going on out there (though the ritual was
    interesting enough). Then I thought to look in here, inside the physical body, and was awestruck at the complexity of the tiny impulses being awakened within the form with every name chanted. It culminated with my physical form becoming that of Durga. Then for a
    number of days I got as sick as I have ever been since awakening. *LOL* All in all, a truly enjoyable and enlivening and purifying experience! :-)

    PS I too had absolutely no desires outstanding “out there” — except
    a slight curiosity as to the Pua :-)

    PPS Well, I still don’t know about the Pua — but I meant the Puja.

     

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    HA! To see perfection in imperfection and imperfection in perfection –
      this is Wisdom indeed…

    ………………………………………

    We see what we want to see, and what we see is *always*
    some aspect of our Self. (What else is there?) If what we see doesn’t
    *appear* to be some aspect of our Self, it’s because we have certain
    preconceptions about what our Self *is* that don’t match our
    perceptions. If we truly want to know our Self in its fullness, we are
    continually called and challenged to surrender our preconceptions into
    an acceptance of that which is standing right in in front of us.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Or, if this doesn’t ring for us in this moment, perhaps we are called
    in the opposite direction — to completely deny everything we have
    identified with, until the Self stands utterly alone. Whole-hearted or
    empty-hearted, the end-result would appear to be the same, so long as we are consistent and integral.

    :-)

    ………………………………………………………………………………

    *lol* Nothing wrong with a simple reversal of roles, of course, but
    how about an envisoning of a partnership of genuine equality and
    balance between *two* powerful, self-actualized people?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Bringing this back to a creative projection through the body, we
    might see an emphasis on the dominance of matriarchy over the
    dominance of patriarchy as a continuation of the old see-saw of left-
    nostril dominance or right-nostril dominance: “Now I am dominant
    male (and you are submissive female)” = Pingala, right nostril;
    *or* “Now I am dominant female (and you are submissive male)” = Ida, left nostril. How would it be if *both* nostrils are enlivened simulataneously, and the relationship is Sushumna?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Or inconsistent and fragmented; no matter; also good. This too, and
    this neither. Believe in the dream or not, waking up is inevitable,
    and we always support the dream in its entirety, whether we are
    consciously aligned with this support or not. :-( :-) :-( :-)

    There is no real way we can speed up or slow down the Realization
    that will never happen and that has already happened. Until we
    swallow time, and embrace the imperfection, we are swallowed by it,
    and embraced by it. So?

    > :-)

    ………………………………………

    HA! We see what we need to see, all right. If we cannot accept
    imperfections with unconditional Love, we will see them everywhere
    until we can! (you-know-what coming up a few lines below; you may want to stop reading now)
    (Seriously, stop reading now or you may get mildly irritated)

     

    (or even more than mildly irritated)

     

    (well you can’t say I didn’t warn you)
    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    “Banshee” from “Bean Sidhe,” female fairy; Irish “Sidhe” apparently
    being cognate with Sanskrit “Siddha” … ?

     

     
    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Here’s a thought. Are *any* thoughts true and useful?
    And is this your thought or mine?

    ………………………………………

    Some members of our Satsang in Fairfield were laughing about THAT just the other day! Brahman Brew — for its full-bodied flavor.

    ………………………………………

    Yes. I am thinking that a taste of the non-dual, whether from a
    teacher or from drugs, is probably still perceived as coming from
    the outside; one probably then still hasn’t fully understood the
    mechanics of ignorance and of self-recognition…

     

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Aaaah… the taste that refreshes!

     

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, I didn’t describe that too clearly — it should have read, “at
    the complexity of impulses being awakened within the form with all
    the names chanted.” Each name awakened or lit up a specific simple
    impulse within the form, the whole forming a complex pattern …
    :-)

    ………………………………………

    I have also been fortunate to work with some
    wonderfully enlightened people who have actually been essentially or
    completely unware of their own enlightenment, by virtue of that
    slight misunderstanding of the nature of (the remains of) ignorance:
    i.e., petty suffering we resist or ignore doesn’t really go away; it
    just remains in ignorance, becoming heavier and darker the more we
    ignore it. Paradoxically the more we ignore it, the more it binds
    our attention until we find ourselves immersed in and fully
    identified with suffering. Separating ourselves from the suffering
    just enough to gain an unshakable foothold (often easiest to do by
    locating it in the body, and/or remembering who we “really are”),
    and then approaching it with an embrace of unconditional love,
    allowing it to feel, breathe, etc., lightens it quickly up into its
    true nature of radiant bliss. To my eye anyhow, these people are the
    most amazingly blazing Suns of Brahman who were more or less
    completely overlooking their own light and love and powerful
    attention fields by empowering ignorance and the darkness of
    suffering and not-love, all merely unrecognized and unloved portions
    of themSelves!

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …Rasa’s website identifies Swami G. as Swami Ganga-Puri
    Kaliuttamananda-Giri, whose site is KundaliniSupport.com.

    ………………………………………

    Yes, excellent point — as if conventional treatment is somehow NOT
    a part of “God” or wholeness — the old ignoring-the-helicopter-
    while-waiting-for-God-to-rescue-us-from-the-roof dodge :-)

    ………………………………………

    …while technically all are blazing Brahman already, some appear to blaze a lot brighter than others in this moment — i.e., probably have done enough work clarifying the intellect and so on that Brahman is more self-evident in them; their attention-field is obviously waves of light and so on. To me anyhow:
    because they are (presumably) travelling inside the light-wave of their own attention, they don’t appear to see it; they only tend to notice that the erstwhile-heavy object of their unconditional attention is “lightening up” into bliss and so on. It is simply that they had been unaware of the “tamasic” or darkening/thickening approach they had taken in resisting, avoiding or ignoring the particle of ignorance :-)

    ………………………………………

    Energy (ananda, bliss, laughter, Shiva) = Mass (sat, love, Vishnu)
    times the speed of light (chit, consciousness, Brahma) squared
    (aware of itself). Mass resisted (denied the light of self-
    knowledge) becomes painful tamas instead of blissful dissolution;
    hindering the free-flow of the gunas through the hiranyagarbha
    attention-field :-)

    ………………………………………

    It would *appear* anyhow that the Brahma-point at the center of the
    Hiranyagarbha (poised between the mountain-cone of Vishnu and the
    upside down cone of Shiva) becomes aware of itself via a very
    quick “churning” or “washing-machine” back-and-forth rotation which
    casts light-waves spiralling out first in one direction, then in the
    other — in cross-currents (hence, aware of itself), and that the
    nodes at the intersections of the spirals form the bejeweled matrices
    of subtle-mind-matter impulses (devas) :-)

    ………………………………………

    And it would appear that when one’s Brahma or creative consciousness withholds approval or Self-knowledge from a given mind-matter impulse, then that impulse separates/is separated from the Whole and holds that “not-good/not-God” belief about itself (i.e. thinks itself “rebellious” or “demonic”) until it is relieved, dissolved, lightened up, healed and integrated by an unconditional re-appraisal from that same Brahma-nature.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* I hadn’t thought of that, Judy! You think it might work?
    Wow!
    What would the benefit be to me, I wonder, if new members are
    impressed?
    And what do you mean by impressed, anyhow? Inspired? Captivated?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    And until that integration is accomplished, those “rebellious”
    impulses may congeal and remain in the field(s) of that creative
    consciousness as a substance — grit, asteroids, smoke-clouds, or
    whatever — that *appears* to obscure the blazing Brahma-nature and
    create “hellish” realities — really, “hellish” filters of judgement
    and condemnation and ego-pettiness through which the pristine reality
    of one’s God-field is distorted. But the actual Brahma-nature of one’s
    creative consciousness is ever-radiant, ever-blazing, ever the same.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    I hadn’t thought about it that way — I was really excited about
    some understandings that have fit together recently, and felt like
    sharing them — but if you really want to know my deeper goal, upon
    reflection it is not simply to impress but rather to *destroy* –
    embrace, rape, consume utterly, assimilate, and annihilate — every
    single particle of resistance and not-love I come across in any of
    my attention-fields, for they all must be my own creation(s)…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Helps me understand myself. Many thanks for asking :-)

    ………………………………………

    Resistance is indeed futile :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I’ve seldom been reticent to share my current understandings, regardless of who may or may not eventually enjoy them. These have been percolating since just before the Navaratri/Durga puja last week, crystallized further over the past few days, and finally coalesced enough to (attempt to) communicate :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* I have indeed been re-exploring more “flowery” realms lately!
    Very sweet.

    …If I entertain addictions to adulation, flirtation, and so on, as a
    substitute for genuine intimacy and appreciation of Self/Other/Self,
    those will indeed be “wrong” or “demonic” — i.e., diseased, based
    around pain,  an attempt to mask or compensate for primal fear,
    guilt and shame :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Yes — time slows down towards (and into) no-space-time Perfect-flow
    the more we are aligned with the speed of our own unconditional and
    unconditioned light-attention :-)

    ………………………………………

    *lol* Is it judgmental to call a disease a disease? It appears that
    one has to recognize and identify the nature of the problem if one
    wishes to heal it. Denial of addiction-patterns masking “not-love”
    impulses — refusing to recognize the Self in (and larger than)
    patterns like Unworthiness, Fear, Guilt, Shame and Rage — only
    perpetuates the heaviness of the disease, and leaches away more and more life, leading eventually to depression and death. I would not be at all suprised to learn that genuine physical immortality is our completely natural state, one essentially free of all addictions/obsessions/repressions (including addictions to relationships, sex, romance, “growth,” food, money, power, drugs, and so on) :-)

    ………………………………………

    Perhaps we are getting caught up in misunderstood definitions — I
    merely mean to *identify* areas of pain in ourselves, feel them and
    heal them. Refusal to heal our own pain is a symptom and cause of
    surrendering to some addiction or other — making that addiction –
    that false belief and support-system — more important than our own
    present-moment integrity, joy, freedom, and so on :-)

    [Comment on:...Is being judgmental a disease?]
    It is (or will be) if we identify a pattern in ourself as not-self
    or not-good and do not take steps to dissolve that identification.

    …No, genuine physical immortality is not “physical existence” any
    longer, at least in the sense it is commonly understood. It would
    appear to be rather something along the lines of “physically”
    understanding all “physical” matter to be nothing other than love as
    a relationship between energy/bliss and consciousness. The formula
    for physical immortality would seem to be E = Mc(2) or
    laughter/bliss = love/coalesence x consciousness/light aware of
    itself :-)

    ………………………………………

    I was speaking of them [adulation, flirtation, etc] as addictive patterns used to mask heavier feelings of not-good because that is how I have used them in the past and that’s what I am currently interested in: personal transformation and alchemy. I have found that the desire to flirt and receive adulation generally (maybe always) stemmed from a “not-OK” (addicted) place inside; your mileage may vary :-)

    ………………………………………

    …my purpose for being here is to understand myself
    better. You sometimes “show” me heavinesses or densities in my field-
    awareness which I can then dissolve into greater understanding and
    bliss. It’s fun! But of course I speak only of me; what effect if
    any I may appear to have on “you” (whatever that may be, apart from
    me) is not really my business :-)

    ………………………………………

    I believe this is possible, [love at the cellular level exiting forever] yes, as the cells “remember” they are only light-love-laughter; these gunas are apparently as eternal and “absolute” as anything else :-)

    ………………………………………

    Asking questions is good; it often brings out new ideas. Immaterial
    if the questioner is new or old however, as far as I can see :-)

    ………………………………………

    After further playing with the properties of the gunas for a while, we
    now see the pure “I” splitting into 27 pure “I”s to explore the
    permutations of the gunas and subgunas and sub-subgunas, yielding 27 discrete states of consciousness, each with its consciousness and own perfectly valid POV through a specific guna-pattern — all being entertained simultaneously, but also explorable from within in terms of guna-progression through time and space if desired.

    Only 16 (or 19, depending how we count) of these states occur
    between “birth” and “death,” which is what held me up when I was first trying to delineate these unfoldments as geometries of consciousness some 20-odd years ago.

    Now though we can posit a beautiful sequence from the densest Being or Love (Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu, or Sat-Sat-Sat) at conception (0-state; Nakshatric new moon), through 9 subgunas of Vishnu/Being (including prenatal Sleep, Dream and Waking, Birth, and Postnatal Sleep, Dream and Waking) into the denser side of Transcendence-I as subtlest Being at the 8th state (Vishnu-Shiva-Shiva).

    From here we move across a gap into the lighter side of Transcendence-II as the densest form of Light or Consciousness in the 9th state (Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu), and so on through the 9 subgunas of Brahma or States of Consciousness — through C.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma), G.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva, and U.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu), and across the pivotal midway-point of Crucifixion or Nirvana or Brahman (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma, or chit-chit-chit) at the 13th state (Nakshatric full moon) — and thereafter recapitulating the complement of all the previous guna-states (with Vishnu/Love for original Shiva/Bliss, and vice versa) in mirror order through “Krishna” or complement of G.C. (Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu), “Shiva” or complement of C.C. (Brahma-Shiva-Brahma), and the Complement of Transcendence-I (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva)at the subtlest end of the egg of Brahma.

    From here we move across another gap into the egg of Shiva with its 9
    states of Bliss: incorporating the Bliss-complements of Transcendence-
    II (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu), Waking (i.e. “Ignorance”) (Shiva-Vishnu-
    Brahma), Dreaming, Sleep, Death, and so on (After-death Waking,
    Dreaming and Sleep) to culminate in the most rarefied Bliss (Shiva-
    Shiva-Shiva) at dissolution in the 26th state, the old moon, just
    before (most likely) re-entering a higher octave at its densest point
    (Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu).

    Again, this description is in a sense illusory, that is, describing
    unfoldments across time and space of what is actually eternal and
    omnipresent. Also, for simplicity we have described this progression
    as if from one end only, from the bottom up, whereas it actually
    appears to be a successive approach, overlap (at Brahman) and more and more inclusive merger of Spirit (Shiva) and Matter (Vishnu) from each end simultaneously to the other end.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …with Vishnu as Love, Sat/Being, Sattva; Brahma as Light, Chit/Consciousness, Rajas; and Shiva as Laughter, Ananda/Bliss, Tamas. Again, the two poles of the Hiranyagarbha or horned-torus are at either end of its central double-cone: with the mountain of Vishnu (Converging or contracting from the “bottom” “up” and inward), and the “upside-down” mountain of Shiva (Dissolving or expanding into the “top” “up” and outward) and with Brahma churning merrily away between them at the center-point of the double conic-mountain. (I put “up” and “down” in quotes because the Love/Bliss polarity may apparently shift from moment to moment).
    :-)

    ………………………………………

    From here we move across a gap into the lighter side of
    Transcendence-II as the densest form of Light or Consciousness in
    the 9th state (Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu), and so on through the 9
    subgunas of Brahma or States of Consciousness — through C.C. (10th
    state, Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma); G.C. (11th state, Brahma-Vishnu-
    Shiva); and U.C. (12th state; Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu), and across the
    pivotal midway-point of Crucifixion or Nirvana or Brahman (Brahma-
    Brahma-Brahma, or chit-chit-chit) at the 13th state (Nakshatric full
    moon) — and thereafter recapitulating the complement of all the
    previous guna-states (with Vishnu/Love for original Shiva/Bliss, and
    vice versa) in mirror order through the “warmed-up-Brahman” 14th
    state of “Brahman-Shiva” (Brahma-Brahma-Shiva) or complement of
    U.C.; 15th state of “Krishna” (Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu) or complement of
    G.C.; 16th state of “Shiva-Brahma” (Brahma-Shiva-Brahma), or
    complement of C.C.; and the 17th state (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva), the
    Complement of Transcendence-I at the subtlest end of the egg of
    Brahma.

    As first mentioned a year or so ago, from the model of the
    progressive merger of Spirit and Matter across the egg of
    Consciousness (Brahma), we define the states of Consciousness as
    follows:

    T.C.-II (Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu) as “THAT” or the Light of Pure
    Consciousness (now not just the “subtlest Being” of T.C.-I), with
    the Transcendence at the bottom end of the Brahmic egg being
    stimulated by the ascent of Matter, coincidentally with the top end
    of the Brahmic egg’s now being enlivened by the descent of Spirit.

    C.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma) as “I am THAT” with enlivenment of
    Avyakta (near the top of Brahmic egg) by Spirit/Energy/Purusha/Shiva
    and Karmendriyas (near the bottom of Brahmic egg) by
    Matter/Prakriti/Vishnu/Shakti, yielding a separate Self-
    Consciousness and concomitant automatic action (perfect flow);

    G.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva) as “Thou art THAT,” with Spirit expanding
    from Avyakta down to Mahat (Bliss), and Matter expanding up from
    Karmendriyas to Indriyas (sense organs), yielding divine enrichment
    of senses;

    U.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu) as “All this is THAT,” as Spirit
    expanding from Mahat down to Buddhi (Intuition, Higher Mind), and
    Matter expanding up from Indriyas to Manas (Concrete or Lower Mind),
    yielding a consciousness of an essentially unified field, with
    ability to explore across spacetime, with now only the “Causal Self”
    (or Solar Angel or Guru or God) still subtly separating the fields
    of Spirit (Absolute) and Matter (Relative).

    At the onset of B.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) one embodies “There is
    only THAT” as this Causal Self or Solar Angel (etc.) “dies” or is
    immersed in the sudden mergence of Absolute and Relative; this is
    experienced often as a Dark Night of the Soul; for the first (and
    only) time, *no* permutation of Love (Vishnu) *or* Bliss (Shiva) is
    present, yielding (in some cases) a rather stark sameness to
    everything.

    At the ripening of B.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Shiva), the mirror of U.C.,
    one knows “THAT is All This” as Absolute and Relative completely
    cross, with Purusha flooding down into Manas and Prakriti flooding
    up into Buddhi. “Absolute” and “Relative” are gone; the remnants of
    the small-self isolation disappear; Wholeness predominates; the Self
    Understands the Self. The mind and heart are now understood as
    unified and embracing the All. We find now that attention and breath
    quicken the awareness-field into bliss.

    At the onset of “Krishna” (Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu), the mirror of G.C.,
    one sees “THAT Art Thou” as the Wholeness has now spread up as far
    as Mahat and down as far as Indriyas, so that we again have blissful
    sense-perception, but now completely in terms of the Self. One may
    become a sort of Avatar as the Great Immensity of unconditional Love
    to heal and assimilate the individual points of Wholeness within the
    body. Knowing oneself as the Ocean, one may “incorporate” or
    incarnate as any given individual in one’s attention-field, and find
    them within one’s body.

    At the onset of “Shiva” (Brahma-Shiva-Brahma), the mirror of C.C.,
    one knows “THAT Am I” as the Wholeness has now spread up as far as
    Avyakta and down as far as Karmendriyas, so we now see we are not
    only separate from (all) action, but its ultimate cause or source,
    and also its ultimate end or goal. We are able to “eat” all “sins.”

    At the further ripening of “Shiva” (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva), the mirror
    of T.C.-II, one knows “THAT is THAT” as the Wholeness has spread
    through the entire Brahmic egg of Consciousness, encompassing the
    Transcendence at either end.

    From here the Wholeness expands yet further to begin recapitulating
    and enfolding more and more “Ignorance” via both adjoining eggs
    through 9 more ripples: Shiva’s 9 states of Bliss and Vishnu’s 9
    states of Love.

    Again, this whole progression is in one sense an illusion; we
    contain it all simultaneously, and merely attend to whatever
    permutation of our Self we most need/desire in this moment, as yet
    another aspect of the Self to be recognized…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Oops – below should be “Complement of Transcendence-*II* (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva)” and “…incorporating the Bliss-complements of Transcendence-*I* (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu), just in case anyone actually is reading any of this. My apologies for the linear density of all the above; it may
    look a lot simpler if you draw it in a diagram of three connecting circles (each containing 9 points), along the vertical “shishkebab” of
    the 27 points of “I” — and if you draw a trigram for each of the accompanying guna-states, with Vishnu (V) being an unbroken line (0;no gaps), Brahma (B) being a broken line or two short lines (1; 1 gap), and Shiva (S) being a twice broken or three short lines (2; 2
    gaps) and follow the guna progression out from 0 (V-V-V; 0-0-0) to 26 (S-S-S; 2-2-2) in base-three sequence — then you can really see the
    beauty of the mirroring of the guna-states around the central pivot of Brahma-Brahma-Brahma :-)

    —–

    (Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu), “Shiva” or complement of C.C. (Brahma-Shiva-Brahma), and the Complement of Transcendence-I (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva) at the subtlest end of the egg of Brahma.
        
    From here we move across another gap into the egg of Shiva with its
        
    states of Bliss: incorporating the Bliss-complements of Transcendence-II (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu), <snip>

    —–

    ………………………………………

    Nice question [Where does YHVH (YAHWEH) fit into all of this?], many thanks, purushaz! Here’s how I understand it at the moment: Within the pivotal 13-state (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) at the center of the center (Brahma) egg, the 13 points of consciousness may be viewed as a cluster of 12 “Adityas” or “apostles” surrounding the central “Aditi” or “Christ” as his/her (*our*) radii or rays, the whole forming a hypersphere or vector-equilibrium matrix. One can then “flatten” the hypersphere into a disk and see the 12 radii as zodiac-signs (constellations) or planets arranged in a double-helix pattern around and including this central 13th-point (which actually is itself a light-dark, male-female pair, symbolized by Earth and Pluto, and perhaps Sirius A and B, and the Vishnu-Shiva double-cone itself).

    We can then see how the planetary/constellation chakras in this Brahma-body pair off to form strata of different densities or “kingdoms” — from mineral to vegetable to animal to human (center) to ancestral to
    angelic to gods, each of which kingdoms replicates or reflects the 12-fold pattern of the whole within its own confines. Within the angelic kingdom we perceive the qualities of music and sound (vibration, akasha, mahat, bliss) differentiating into the various vowels and
    (eventually) the consonants. Using these sounds to express the Whole we can generate various patterns like YHWH (from highest midsummer solstice Y to midpoint fall-equinox H to lowest midwinter solstice W to midpoint spring-equinox H, in a grand cross going around the
    circle), which is very similar to another grand cross — AKNI (Libra/Green A to Capricorn/Indigo K across the gap of the winter solstice — maximum density and darkness, between Taurean-Equinox Capricorn and Aquarius — to Aries/Red N to Cancer/Amber I), or yet another — IOUUA or IOWA (pronounced EE-AW-WAH), from Leo I to Scorpio O to Aquarius UU to Taurus A.

    So as we see it at this point anyhow, all of this is a part of Brahma-
    loka, specifically in what we might call Mahar-loka, corresponding to
    details of the Solar Plexus and the Full Moon Nakshatra and Brahman
    Consciousness as it stands in itself (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) –
    although again, none of this will probably be viewable upon first
    conscious immersion in and as Brahman — for one thing, when first
    comprehending the speed of light, the light itself appears to
    disappear (Dark Night of the Soul), and the first thing one is likely
    to notice on finally admitting the perfection of Now and admitting
    Self as Brahman is that everything is “frozen” Self. It can be kind of
    overwhelming, and a lot of this material above doesn’t really become
    evident until or unless one begins to ask “How does THAT Wholeness
    manifest all of THIS appearance of maya?” and starts to conceive the
    Hiranyagarbha, the gunas and all the rest :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    This last phrase is slightly misleading — upon the sobriety of Brahman, one may well undertake mental-body ascension into the bliss-pool of Higher Self/Council of Guides and transmission of these energies into earth-plane heart-service/healing, and, — as “K.C.” further develops — embracing (upon inquiry into the nature of the three primary rays or gunas) denser, astral-body ascension via DNA pyramid/mountain, OM-portal initiation and introduction to the Council of 13 (12 + 1) Masters, and so on, *before* complete(r) comprehension of the Self as embracing Hiranyagarbha and the place of the gunas and pyramid/mounts of Vishnu/Shiva within it :-)

    ………………………………………

    <snip>
        
         So as we see it at this point anyhow, all of this is a part of
         Brahma-loka, specifically in what we might call Mahar-loka, corresponding
         to details of the Solar Plexus and the Full Moon Nakshatra and
         Brahman Consciousness as it stands in itself (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) –
    <snip>

    Using the terminology of the conventional lokas considered to exist
    in the egg of Brahma, we have:

    An unnamed loka in T.C-II (Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu), just inside the
    transcendental “skin” or just atop the denser edge of the “ring-pass-
    not” of the bottom of Brahma’s egg,
    Bhu or Bhur-loka in C.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma),
    Bhuvarloka in G.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva), and
    Swarloka in U.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu) — from these three, souls
    yet return to earthly reincarnation;

    Maha- or Maharloka in the onset of B.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma), and
    Janaloka in “ripened B.C.” (Brahma-Brahma-Shiva), the complement of
    Unity — in either of these two, souls are liberated, and do not
    need to return to earthly incarnation, though many do, for further
    refinement in service;

    Tapaloka in what we have been calling “Krishna” (Brahma-Shiva-
    Vishnu), the complement of G.C., and
    Sat-loka or Satya-loka in what we have been calling “Shiva” (Brahma-
    Shiva-Brahma), the complement of C.C. — from these two, there is no
    return;

    another unnamed loka in the complement of T.C.-II (Brahma-Shiva-
    Shiva), on the transcendental skin or just below the subtlest edge
    of the “ring-pass-not” of Brahma’s egg, at the juncture of the gap
    into Shiva’s egg.

    However, we may also see these 7 lokas in macrocosm as spanning the entire range of the 27 states of consciousness from conception to dissolution, with Bhur-loka at Conception (state 0), Bhuvarloka at Birth (state 4), and Swargaloka-I at Transcendence-I (state 8), all in Vishnu’s egg; Swargaloka-II at Transcendence-II (state 9), Maharloka at B.C.
    (state 13), and Janaloka-II at complement of Transcendence-II, Brahma-Shiva-Shiva (state 17), all in Brahma’s egg; and Janaloka-I at complement of Transcendence-I, Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu (state 18), Tapaloka at Death, Shiva-Brahma-Brahma (state 22), and Satyaloka at Dissolution, Shiva-Shiva-Shiva (state 26), all in Shiva’s egg.

    No matter how we term the lokas, from the 26th state of Dissolution
    (Shiva-Shiva-Shiva, or Bliss-Bliss-Bliss, or pure Energy), we may go
    to its flip-side, the 27th state, which is Conception (Vishnu-Vishnu-
    Vishnu, or Love-Love-Love, or pure Matter: Solve et Coagula.

    We may visualize the 27th state as 27 points of consciousness, thus:
    Unity, the 12th state (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu) appears as an
    icosahedron, with twelve points and no rational center. Adding
    a “solar seed” center-point gives us the 13th state, B.C., brought
    on at the full fusion with one’s Self or “Solar Angel”: a 13-point
    (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) cuboctahedron or vector-equilibrium matrix
    (one center point, 12 vertices; Aditi and the Adityas or Christ and
    the Apostles) with 14 faces — eight triangles, six squares. This
    B.C. state contains in seed-form a complete key to Universal Space
    (conjoined tetrahedra and octahedra), but not yet “unfolded.”
    Ripened B.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Shiva), the complement of Unity, is
    visualizable as the 14-point, 12-face rhombic dodecahedron — thus,
    the “inverse” of U.C. and B.C., a figure-ground “destruction” and
    reversal of the prior states; what was emptiness is now fullness,
    and vice-versa: one turns “inside out” and “outside in.”

    Dissolution (26th state) involves fusing these two — U.C. (the 12)
    and ripened B.C. (the 14) together in a perfect Whole, where Self-
    Other, male-female figure-ground are *both* entertained perfectly
    fully in the physiology, as was mentioned earlier in discussions
    here with Akasha. Adding the central I-point to this 26-point
    Dissolution precipitates the 27-point Conception, at which point “I”
    am equally and fully self-other, male and female simultaneously, in
    the physiology.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

         So as we see it at this point anyhow, all of this is a part of
         Brahma-loka, specifically in what we might call Mahar-loka, corresponding
         to details of the Solar Plexus and the Full Moon Nakshatra and Brahman
         Consciousness as it stands in itself (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma) –
    <snip>

    though insofar as it expresses mantric sound/bliss/mahat/akasha, YHWH would stem specifically from the subloka of the Kinnaras, Angels, or High Elves/High Gandharvas, and presumably Tapaloka, which in the macrocosm would correspond to the cosmic Throat, 22nd or “Death”-state of Shiva-Brahma-Brahma and the center of Shiva’s egg.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    …looks like what I’ve termed “Krishna” in the past, the 15th state (Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva) — a lot of fun, and very rich because of its containing all 3 gunas and also reflecting the richness of G.C. (senses and bliss), now from Wholeness :-)

    ………………………………………

    Let me put the whole thing in more psychological terms — Vishnu or
    Love is the force compacting everything denser and denser into
    materialization inside our psychology (and our body); Brahma or Light
    or Consciousness is the force wherein the unrecognized portions of
    ourselves (those in pain) come to our attention AS portions of
    ourselves; and Shiva is the Laughter or bliss wherein the Self-
    recognition dissolves the pain as it (small “I”) dies into the
    oblivion of the larger-I…:-)

    Thus, something like the Byron Katie work shows us how our pain-spots (judgements, etc.) are merely unrecognized aspects of ourself (Vishnu-qualities, not yet Brahma); when we acknowledge them (now Brahma seeing itSelf), they “disappear”… (Shiva)

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    As I see it at the moment, the brain (bodymind, physiology, etc.) is
    usually the *last* to know, or to comprehend Knowledge; the brain is
    what finally grounds the knowledge from and of the Self out into
    this earthplane and our worldview. Before it contacts and changes
    the chemistry of the brain, knowledge appears as something like
    bliss-waves or lines of force (quantum-sized) which gradually
    densify and become more and more strongly electromagnetic (subtle-
    body) while positioning themselves over various portions of the
    brain and “recording” the acquired or recognized data into the
    physiology, i.e., changing our mind. As the mind shifts, different
    sensory stimuli (always present but previously unnoticed) are now
    picked up and “eaten” to generate our new worldview…or something
    like that :-)

    ………………………………………

    Gravity is Love :-)

    ………………………………………

    Like the “prior” states, there is still a “me” claiming these
    states as its own — whereas ripened B.C. erases that identification
    :-)

    There is also a very good probability that not only are we each
    experiencing all the states simultaneously, but also in timespace
    sequence very rapidly — perhaps every nanosecond or so, with every
    cycling of our personal Hiranyagarbha-field, but almost certainly one
    state each day throughout the 27 days of the Lunar cycle — depending
    on what we put our attention on, of course :-)

    ………………………………………

    Although it is not precisely true that those enjoying B.C. etc. are
    *not* still working out their karma; it appears simply that they have
    cleared at least half of it, are free from the *need* for rebirth, and
    after B.C. they generally feel free and approach Life with the
    identity of a “finder,” as Spirit moving into Matter, as opposed to
    identifying with the “seeker” — as Matter (or Being, or even
    Consciousness) seeking Spirit. It *may* be that those completing and
    recognizing the entire 27-state cycle have cleared all of their karmic
    backlog (for example, upon recognizing and communicating it I now feel my “life-work is done” here), but I suspect there is always more work to be done, somewhere or other :-)

    ………………………………………

    This doesn’t make a lot of sense from certain POVs. What “others” [as in helping others] would those be? What is timespace? It’s almost like saying we take a vow to keep on dreaming. How could we not? It’s fun.

    If I understnd you correctly, what you are speaking of is not really a
    prescription, it is a description of who we are and what has already
    (in a sense) come to pass; what always is, what has always been, what always will be — there is no vow required, other than to ourself to continue to appreciate and enjoy the eternally ever-changing forms of ourself — what is.

    We are one, we are many; we are a countless multitude of ourselves,
    showing ourselves ever-differing combinations of ourselves in the
    permutations of love, consciousness and bliss — like dipping our
    fingers of pure invisible light into a denser portion or medium of
    ourselves and watching them bend a bit and split into colors as we
    pass through that medium. And yet we are none of the above, never have been, never will be. Our fingers are only an idea inside us; that medium is only an idea inside us, nothing more. And yet in a sense that is all we are — always has been, always will be. All of that occurs inside us, not the other way around. :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    There are a couple of ways to define consciousness; my current
    understanding of it is as not-Self, and merely one of the three gunas
    (along with love and bliss, or matter and energy) of apparent Self-
    expression. In this sense consciousness is an expression and as
    such “denser” than who we really are, albeit not necessarily as dense
    as a physical body as the term is commonly understood. I have seen
    countless examples of consciousness independent of a gross physical
    body. But what I have seen or not seen doesn’t really count, so far as
    your reality is concerned.

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    “A couple of ways” — what a laugh! There are countless ways for consciousness to “define” itself :-)

    ………………………………………

    My current favorite is consciousness is Light (Brahma; rajas), the intermediary between Matter (Love-Being, Vishnu, sattva) and Energy (Bliss, Shiva, tamas)

    ………………………………………

    …from Self to and as “Being” and “Consciousness” and “Bliss” — then into these bodies, mixed and matched for
    spacetime play — rinse and repeat as necessary, in lovely sequences of more and more Wholeness, eventually inclusive of more and more
    ignorance as time in a sense “reverses” after the pivot-NOW-point of B.C. :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Sweet Lakshmi, my black-eyed Susan of the Grand Googol!
    She Lakshmi, she lakshmi not … she lakshmi!

    ………………………………………

    Online Etymology Dictionary: surprise (n.)
    c.1457, “unexpected attack or capture,” from M.Fr. surprise “a taking
    unawares,” from noun use of pp. of O.Fr. surprendre “to overtake,”
    from sur- “over” + prendre “to take,” from L. prendere, contracted
    from prehendere “to grasp, seize” (see prehensile). Meaning “something unexpected” first recorded 1592, that of “feeling caused by something unexpected” is 1608. Meaning “fancy dish” is attested from 1708.

    From these definitions it looks pretty clear that “somebody” is indeed
    going to be taken unawares, overtaken, grasped, and seized — by
    Nobody :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Whereupon since Nobody has Nothing better to do, Nobody decides to be
    somebody :-)

    ………………………………………

    I am talking about the *death* of witnessing; what about you?

      :-)

    ………………………………………

    You have no idea how your interpretation of witnessing differs from other people’s here?

    ………………………………………

     …”witnessing is irrelevant” :-)

    ………………………………………

    Or unless we use “witnessing” to mean a specific distancing technique
    to separate ourselves quickly from bondage to (and identification
    with) our suffering (e.g. locating it in the body etc.), which IMO is
    best immediately followed by a unitive technique (embracing it in
    attention or unconditional love, allowing it to breathe, “speak,”
    etc.) to completely assimilate and dissolve the suffering into ecstacy
    or bliss, revitlizing the bodymind :-)

    ………………………………………

    OTOH if somone is genuinely enlivened and enlovened and enlightened and enlaughtered by the TMO’s definition of witnessing et al., then more power to them, say I :-)

    ………………………………………

    I did see the obvious surface implications of “no idea;” I was just
    trying to go a little deeper into Sparaig’s statement about how he
    interpreted witnessing differently from others here — to no avail,
    obviously :-)

    ………………………………………

    Your Wholeness apparently doesn’t allow anger and humorlessness –
    does that perhaps make anger and humorlessness more powerful than Wholeness, capable of overshadowing Wholeness?

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Along the lines of aligning the 27 gunic states of consciousness with
    the 27 Lunar Nakshatras — apparently the traditional first Nakshatra
    was Krittika, adjusted later to match the equinoctial precession.
    Beginning this sequence (Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu, Conception) with
    Krittika (Alcyone in the Pleiades) yields interesting results. Now we
    have the Pleiades at (or near) the gap between one cycle’s Dissolution
    (Shiva-Shiva-Shiva, state 26) and the next cycle’s Conception (Vishnu-
    Vishnu-Vishnu, state 0).

    The pairs Purna Phalguni (“former red one” (?), delta Leonis) and
    Uttara Phalguni (“latter red one” (?), beta Leonis, Denebola) now
    align with the two halves of Transcendence (Transcendence-I, Purna
    Phalguni, state 8: Vishnu-Shiva-Shiva, finest level of matter/Being,
    and Transcendence-II, Uttara Phalguni, state 9: Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu, densest level of Light/Consciousness). Now we have Leo and (I believe) Ursa Major (the 7 rishis of the Great Bear) occupying the gap between the two sides of Transcendence, between the 9 states of Vishnu’s mount and the 9 states of Brahma’s egg. The traditional translation of Phalguni as “red one” does not make a lot of sense to me. I am tempted to see “Phal-” as “fruit” and “-Guni” as “guna, action” — but maybe cardemaister can throw some more light here?

    The pairs Purva Ashadha (“former victor,” delta Sagittarii) and Uttara
    Ashadha (“latter victor,” sigma Sagittarii) now align with the two
    halves of the complement of Transcendence (Transcendence-II-prime,
    Purva Ashadha, state 17: Brahma-Shiva-Shiva, finest level of
    Light/Consciousness, and Transcendence-I-prime, Uttara Ashadha, state 18: Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu, densest level of energy/Bliss). Now we have the currently-acknowledged Galactic Center (in Sagittarius) at (or near) the gap between these two halves of the complement of Transcendence, between the 9 states of Brahma’s egg and the 9 states of Shiva’s mount.

    The other two paired Nakshatras are Purva Bhadrapada (“front legs of
    the death-bed,” beta Pegasi) and Uttara Bhadrapada (“back legs of the death-bed,” gamma Pegasi); these now align with Death (Purva Bhadrapada, state 22: Shiva-Brahma-Brahma, state 22) and After-death Waking (Uttara Bhadrapada, Shiva-Brahma-Shiva, state 23). Now we have Pegasus, the winged horse of ascension, overseeing these two parts of Death.

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    OTOH, red is indeed the densest/slowest visible form of Light, as
    anger is perhaps one of the densest forms of Consciousness! Perhaps
    the other half of “red” is indeed also the finest form of matter/Being :-)

    …Guessing this would be infrared…:-)

    ………………………………………

    Wondering if Infrared is equivalent to Vishnu, Visible light is
    Brahma, and Ultraviolet is Shiva. This would certainly tie in with
    visions of one end (the Mother, Vishnu) of the Hiranyagarbha being
    red, the other end (the Father, Shiva) being bluish, and also
    experiences of fusion with one’s Solar Angel in Brahman, and the
    bliss of dissolution of the visible world in Shiva.

    Applying this in microcosm to the sub-sub-gunas of Brahma-Brahma
    we’d have Unity (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu) as infrared light, B.C.
    (Brahma-Brahma-Brahma, fusion with Solar Angel) as visible light,
    and Unity-prime, the complement of U.C., ripened B.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Shiva) as ultraviolet light.

    Following up on this with the egg of Brahma as the entire E-M
    spectrum we might equate Radio waves with C.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-
    Brahma), Microwave with G.C. (Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva), Infrared with
    U.C. (Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu), Visible spectrum with B.C. (Brahma-
    Brahma-Brahma), Ultraviolet with the complement of U.C. (“ripened
    Brahman,” Brahma-Brahma-Shiva), X-rays with the complement of G.C.
    (“Krishna; Shiva as Vishnu,” Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu), and Gamma-rays
    with the complement of C.C. (“Shiva; Shiva as Brahma,” Brahma-Shiva-
    Brahma)…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …I also really like the definition below of “weak,”
    etc., as I have just now been playing with the possibilities that
    the 3 Vishnu-Vishnu subgunas (Conception, pre-natal sleep, pre-natal
    dream) introduce Gravity; the 3 Vishnu-Brahma subgunas (pre-natal
    waking, birth, and sleep) introduce the Strong force; the 3 Vishnu-
    Shiva subgunas (dreaming, waking, T.C.-I) introduce the Weak force
    (hence purva phalguni); and the 3 Brahma-Vishnu subgunas (T.C.-II,
    C.C., and G.C.) introduce the Electromagnetic force.

    The 3 Brahma-Brahma subgunas (U.C., B.C, ripened B.C.) introduce
    and “destroy” or embrace the True Self, pivoting around B.C. as the
    end of spacetime; then the 3 Brahma-Shiva subgunas reiterate the
    Brahma-Vishnus, embracing the E-M force; the 3 Shiva-Vishnu subgunas embrace the Weak force; the 3 Shiva-Brahma subgunas embrace the Strong force; and the 3 Shiva-Shiva subgunas embrace the Gravitational force :-)

    ………………………………………

    By “introduce” I mean, “allow one to identify with, incarnate
    within;” by “embrace” I mean “allow one to assimilate, digest,
    dissolve and resolve into bliss”…again, the two poles of
    Love/Matter and Bliss/Energy…

    :-)

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    0: Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu (Conception): Unconscious incarnation within
    Gravity/love/matter
    1: Vishnu-Vishnu-Brahma (Prenatal Sleep): Consciousness of
    Gravity/love/matter
    2: Vishnu-Vishnu-Shiva (Prenatal Dreaming) (Temporary) annihilation
    of Gravity/love/matter in bliss

    3: Vishnu-Brahma-Vishnu (Prenatal Waking) Unconscious identification
    with Strong Force (separate body)
    4: Vishnu-Brahma-Brahma (Birth) Consciousness of Strong Force
    (separate body)
    5: Vishnu-Brahma-Shiva (Sleep) (Temporary) annihilation of Strong
    Force (separate body) in bliss

    6: Vishnu-Shiva-Vishnu (Dreaming) Unconscious identification with
    Weak Force (decay and aging)
    7: Vishnu-Shiva-Brahma (Waking State) Consciousness of Weak Force
    (decay and aging)
    8: Vishnu-Shiva-Shiva (Transcendence-I) (Temporary) annihilation of
    Weak Force (decay and and aging) in bliss

    9: Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu (Transcendence-II) Unconscious
    identification with Consciousness/Light
    10: Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma (Cosmic Consciousness) Consciousness of
    Consciousness/Light
    11: Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva (God Consciousness) (Temporary) annihilation
    of Consciousness/Light in bliss

    12: Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu (Unity Consciousness) Unconscious
    identification with Self (Solar Angel)
    13: Brahma-Brahma-Brahma (Crossing into Brahman) Consciousness of
    Self as Solar Angel (Golden no-timespace)
    14: Brahma-Brahma-Shiva (Ripened Brahman; Unity-prime) Annihilation
    of Self/Solar Angel in bliss of Wholeness

    15: Brahma-Shiva-Vishnu (“Krishna,” God Consciousness-prime)
    Wholeness as Conscious Light blissfully incarnating
    16: Brahma-Shiva-Brahma (Cosmic Consciousness-prime) Wholeness as
    Conscious Light blissfully conscious
    17: Brahma-Shiva-Shiva (Transcendence-II-prime) Conscious Light-
    Wholeness annihilating into bliss

    18: Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu (Transcendence-I-prime) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Weak Force (decay and aging) as unconscious
    incarnation of youthing
    19: Shiva-Vishnu-Brahma (Waking State-prime) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Weak Force (decay and aging) as conscious
    light/youthing
    20: Shiva-Vishnu-Shiva (Dreaming-prime) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Weak Force (decay and aging) into bliss

    21: Shiva-Brahma-Vishnu (Sleep-prime) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Strong Force (separate body) as unconscious
    incarnation of multitudes
    22: Shiva-Brahma-Brahma (Birth-prime; Death) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Strong Force (separate body) as conscious
    multitudes
    23: Shiva-Brahma-Shiva (Afterdeath Waking) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Strong Force (separate body) into bliss

    24: Shiva-Shiva-Vishnu (Afterdeath Dreaming) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Gravity as unconscious incarnation of bliss
    25: Shiva-Shiva-Brahma (Afterdeath Sleep) Wholeness
    embracing/annihilating Gravity as conscious bliss
    26: Shiva-Shiva-Shiva (Dissolution) Wholeness embracing/annihilating
    Gravity into bliss

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    …Yes, it was tempting, but then illusory fruit often is :-)

    ………………………………………

    It’s a fascinating thing — one would think we could take our anger
    and *convert* it to humor, thereby apparently killing two birds with
    one stone, but it seems if we don’t feed the anger and humorlessness
    through the Brahmic sun of self-recognition and unconditional
    acceptance, we aren’t really providing a clean burn and are left with
    particulate pollution :-)

    ………………………………………

    Siddhapur, Fairfield, Iowa — where every day is a kumbha-mela :-)

    ………………………………………

    Well, the locals *did* try jailing a few naked sadhus at first, but
    the sadhus kept walking through the walls back out onto the streets,
    so what else could the locals do but legalize nudity as a valid form of religious expression?

    ………………………………………

    Here’s some more on the question you brought up when wondering what was between Shiva and Vishnu as one was traversing the outside of the Hiranyagarbha, and we were reminded of the thin golden disk or equatorial band which was the projection of and from the central Brahma-sun– this thin band is indictive of the “gap” one encounters when flipping from one side of a transcendent state to the another. Thus within the state of Transcendence, between the subtlest Being/Love of Transcendence-I (Vishnu-Shiva-Shiva) and the densest
    Consciousness/Light of its other “side,” Transcendence-II (Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu) — is the gap apparently overseen by Leo and the 7 Rishis of the Great Bear (Ursa Major), at “Swargaloka” between the Sex Center and the Navel Center. This gap is that-which-is-NOT any of the properties of the two sides: hence it could be called a “shadow” Shiva-Brahma-Brahma — or a state of “death.”

    Similarly the gap between Transcendence-II-prime at the subtlest
    Consciousness/Light (Brahma-Shiva-Shiva) and its other “side” of
    densest Bliss, Transcendence-I-prime (Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu) — that gap
    apparently overseen by the Galactic Center, at “Janaloka” between the
    Heart and the Throat — is that-which-is-NOT any of the properties of
    the to sides: a “shadow” Vishnu-Brahma-Brahma, or a state of “birth.”

    Finally, the remaining gap — between Blissful Dissolution, Shiva-
    Shiva-Shiva and Loving Conception, Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu — is that-
    which-is-NOT any of these properties: the “shadow” Brahma-Brahma-
    Brahma, or state of golden no-time-space, that thin gold band of
    perfect equilibrium between the utter dissolution of Shiva and the
    beginnings of Vishnu’s coalescence. In the lunar phases this “shadow”
    Brahma-Brahma corresponds to the moment when the moon is actually
    conjunct the sun. In the Nakshatra-system we were discussing, this
    moment is apparently overseen by the Pleaides, at “Sat-Loka,” between the crown and the feet. Apprently this would also be the true Sat-Yuga :-)

    ………………………………………

    It would *appear* the “Pyramid People” represent a crystallized
    understanding that is less than full or whole, as their sense of
    self seems not to encompass the awareness of self-as-everyone, or
    everyone-in-self — so that they are not availing themselves of the
    dynamic joy of growing with “others” as ever more ignorance is
    dissolved into one’s bliss. In other words, by artificially
    or “prematurely” limiting their sense of self, they are actually
    depriving themselves of deeper and deeper understandings and
    identifications with other aspects of “god” and “human” and what it
    means to be both of these simultaneously … of course, this whole
    thing is but another “story”… :-)

    ………………………………………

    Yes, OK; I would see Vishnu-Brahma-Shiva as a torus, with Vishnu
    (Love, Matter, Sattva) being the movement away from the equator and
    shrinking as it approaches the (say, south) pole, and then inverting
    into a cone or mountain or pyramid sucking or coalescing from the
    surface down (or up) inside toward the center point, Brahma (Light,
    Consciousness, Rajas). The other side, moving from the center away
    and out the opposite side’s cone or mountain or pyramid, diffusing
    and dispersing back out to the (say, north pole’s) surface and back
    on itself towards the equator, would be Shiva (Energy, Bliss,
    Tamas). The equator itself would be the “shadow” Brahma, the
    momentary equilibrium before shrinking back towards the pole and in
    as Vishnu again.

    As far as I can see, these “gaps” only exist in a major way at the
    three places earlier described, because only there are the gunas
    concentrated and “polarized” enough to cast a large intermediary
    shadow of “not-this.” Between the other sub-sub-gunas, the momentary shadow cast actually manifests a moment later anyhow: hence (for example) between Brahma-Vishnu-Visnu and Brahma-Vishnu-Brahma, there is no real shadow between Brahma-Vishnu- and Brahma-Vishnu, as they are the same. The mainguna “shadow” for Brahma- would be *both* Shiva and Vishnu, and the subguna “shadow” for -Vishnu- would be
    *both* Brahma and Shiva: too blurry in other words to really define a shadow. The only real shadow would be the tertiary one of (Brahma-Vishnu)-Shiva, which appears a moment later anyhow. However, between Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva (G.C.) and Brahma-Brahma-Vishnu (U.C.), one *could* posit a secondary shadow of (Brahma)-Shiva-Brahma (“Shiva-consciousness,” complement of C.C.; “THAT AM I”) — but again, as the mainguna (Brahma) is the same, you’re not going to get as distinct a shadow-effect as you do between Vishnu-Shiva-Shiva and
    Brahma-Vishnu-Vishnu, or between Brahma-Shiva-Shiva and Shiva-Vishnu-Vishnu, or between Shiva-Shiva-Shiva and Vishnu-Vishnu-Vishnu…

    :-)

    ………………………………………

    Well FWIW the 27-state model shows several possibilities for this
    occuring — the simplest might be if after Brahma-Brahma-Brahma
    (Crucifixion or Brahman or Nirvana) one progresses only as far as
    Brahma-Shiva-Shiva, at the subtlest end of Brahma’s egg — here one
    would still be identifying with subtlest light, and even pretty
    strong secondary bliss channeling down from Shiva’s realm through
    oneself and into manifest creation — this might be seen as the
    lower end of Janaloka. However, if the model is right, one could
    even ascend into the first third of Shiva’s realm (Shiva-Vishnu
    subsubgunas), embracing and dissolving the weak force (and thus
    knowing physical immortality) but not yet truly embracing and
    dissolving the strong force (sense of separate self) until the
    middle third of the realm (Shiva-Brahma subsubgunas)…

    :-)
     
    ………………………………………

    Well, it’s a funny thing — identity with a separate self is in a
    very real sense dissolved at Brahman-Brahman-Brahman, when one
    realizes one has always been “nobody,” and there has always
    been “nothing” to do amidst the ocean of perfection Now, and it is
    at least possible to die at this point and not return to Earth or
    Earth-like planes (as in the model one has reached “Maharloka”).

    As you and I are aware, the Work has now ended, but the Work also
    actually *begins* at that point, wherein spacetime “reverses” and
    one begins as Spirit to re-enter Matter as a sort of avatar,
    to “eat” or assimilate the entirety of one’s past. One’s perfection
    and Wholeness-Self has “blind-spots” to meet and greet. In a sense,
    one has yet to fully fuse God and Goddess, one’s male and female
    sides, or to expand Wholeness beyond one’s midsection (“Maharloka”)
    to embrace and assimilate one’s whole bodymind…and beyond. But
    many traditional models of Enlightenment end at Brahma-Brahma-Brahma
    or Nirvana, so it is not difficult to imagine some portions of the
    Whole deciding to “rest on their laurels” as it were  :-)

    Granted the model
    > accounts for such a state as the ‘pyramid people’, but in Reality,
    > how long could such a state be sustained?

    “How long” ceases to have much meaning after Brahma-Brahma-Brahma, doesn’t it? I suspect Bentov is speaking of entities like the Watchers or the Theosophical Society’s Dhyan Chohans, or the “Discarnate Gods” — actually, filtering divine bliss through one’s system into the denser planes is a legitimate function; one is serving as a sort of transformer or “elevator attendant.”

    If this is indeed “Janaloka,” one or more of these entities might
    eventually decide to return as a Teacher to the denser planes, and
    in the process learn something more about themselves and the ever-
    unfolding mystery of the human and the divine, and of the male and
    female, and of duality in general :-)

    ………………………………………

    HA! Yes, I remember that burning desire well — a sure sign that one
    still *needs* to return, all right :-)

    ………………………………………

    :-) :-) :-)

    ………………………………………

     

    { Comments on this entry are closed }

    2005 September

    June 28, 2008

    Bozons. Are they the particles that always laugh, never cry?
    ………………………………………
     Thanks, Card. Yes, bosons I had heard of, but not (till yesterday) bozons… :-)
    ………………………………………
     Pi-(w)hole = the ratio of the diameter (“through-measure” = “through-Matter” = “through-Mother:” two opposing/complementary radii or “rays”) to the circumference, the embracing of the holy Whole :-)
    ………………………………………
    Yes, I suspect a rain dance — [...]

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    2005 August

    June 28, 2008

    Sometimes we can make telepathic contact with animals (including
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    2005 July

    June 28, 2008

    Yes, I would normally have tended to trust Moveon.org more. I have
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    2005 June

    June 27, 2008

    ………………………………………
    …[Fairfield] FF just keeps getting better and better. Now (somewhat to our surprise) we have become semi-permanent residents.
    ………………………………………
    Now that FF has a fantastic beach at Waterworks Park, my wife and I
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    years. And coming from Maine (which so far this year has been cold [...]

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    2005 May

    June 27, 2008

     
    …it’s been my experience that intimacy with the egos and physiologies of others as and in this bodymind certainly becomes available as other aspects of oneself.
    ………………………………………
    …Jed McKenna also brilliantly points out that Krishna’s enjoining Arjuna to slay the “opponents” despite Arjuna’s love for them is an exact decription of the paring-down process inside one’s Self [...]

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    2005 April

    June 27, 2008

    …the inward, upward flow within the torus-Hiranyagarbha from
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    flowing out and around the Golden body of the sphere down [...]

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    2005 March

    June 26, 2008

     Based roughly on the Katha Upanishad, we can perhaps posit a general sketch of our divine anatomy as follows (the standard caveats apply that this is only a map):
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    Brow = Avyakta (unmanifest; Middle Spirit)
    Throat = Mahat-Atman (great mind; individual Self; Dense Spirit)
    Heart = Buddhi (intuition; Subtle Soul)
    Solar [...]

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    2004 April

    June 26, 2008

     
    ………………………………………
    …heat is literally generated by resistance to the current of
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    rate quickens in response to the infinitely-rapid attention of (and
    on) [...]

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    2004 February

    June 25, 2008

    …”I” voluntarily “died” before being reborn, and the
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    …It was
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    nonetheless intense. It gave me some [...]

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    2004 January

    June 24, 2008

    ………………………………………
    …As far as I can see anyway, no matter
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    2003 December

    June 24, 2008

    ………………………………………
    Nothing beats the direct
    experience of anything, anyhow.

    ………………………………………
    Just guessing here, but it sounds as if you may be letting go of more
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